"PARIS-DAKAR 'THE MOTORCYCLES' TRIBUTE 1979 - 2008" [BY 'MATTHEISSPEED' ON POOTUBE] . . . . AFTER GOING BACK TO THE '65 ISDT AND MAKING A MENTION IN PASSING ABOUT THE POTENTIAL FOR SERIOUS LEVELS OF HURT IN THE PARIS-DAKAR SLOGFEST . . . . HERE'S A REMINDER OF JUST HOW UNFORGIVING THE OLD COURSE USED TO BE.

FILE THIS ONE UNDER "EAT DUST . . . . EAT DUST AGAIN . . . . AND MORE . . . . WOULD YOU LIKE SOME MORE DUST SIR ???"

This ultimate enduro in it's old form was the test of man and machine from hell, I'm not saying the new South American event is soft, but the traditional, long term African location seemed to offer up a constant cloud of near death experiences for the two wheeled competitors it was a little like a desert version of the IOM . . . . the speeds these guys were pushing were in-fucking-sane and on top of bikes loaded to the gunwhales with personal kit, tools, not to mention long range tanks heavy with guzoline and across terrain that would have you pissing blood for weeks regardless of flash kidney belts and ultra long travel suspension . . . . fuck yeah, real mens business here !!!

There is some total bullshit action in this collection of highlights that was initially shown on telly in the final, 2008 rally prior to its relocation, footage taken from 1979 to the last year in Africa, from before the days of the Tenere and Super Tenere, the Beemers, Aprilias, those dirty great Flying Wings . . . . all on the pin and headed for either Dakar or dirty, dusty disaster in attempting it, and the get offs in this piece are both epic and even comical, riders in this rally to end all rallies deserved all the kudos, credit and coin they got . . . . I mean, how much would it cost to seek the services from a specialist bronchial dust removing doctor once you've shaken your brain to jelly, got blisters the size of a blimp on your arse, hands and thighs and compressed your spine so much you finished the rally two inches shorter than when you set off . . . . all for the love of two wheels.

**** P.S - I know, I know . . . . the 'softrack' sucks balls, Enya for this, what the fuck ????

THE BLOODY BEETROOTS "ROCKSTEADY", BIKES, BABES, BOOBIES, BOOZE, BEATERS, BIKE SURFING, CIRCLE WORK, ALL BOXES TICKED . . . . I FUCKIN LOVE THESE GUYS, WHICH IS KINDA WEIRD GIVEN HOW MUCH I DETEST ELECTRO SHIT . . . . THEY CALL IT 'DANCE-PUNK' BUT I CALL IT DIRTBAG-DOOF . . . . CRANK IT UP AND GET OFF !!!

THIS DOOF-PUNK COLLECTIVE HAIL FROM ITALY AND HAVE BEEN SPEWING OUT SOME REAL EDGY SHIT OVER THE LAST SIX OR SO YEARS . . . . DOOF-DOOF WITH DIRT, GERMS, GREASE AND FILTH UNDER ITS FINGERNAILS, HEARD EM A FEW YEARS AGO ON A RARE EXCURSION INTO 'CLUBLAND' AND I WAS HOOKED.

As I said already, usually I can't stand the whole repetitious, monotonous drivel that most so called 'dance music' represents to me, dull as piss and dumb as a box of hammers, but this stuff is diiferent in every way . . . . Sir Bob Cornelius Rifo [clearly an Italian name] put this project together as a live D.J act that went feral and has ended up takin it on the road throughout Italy and the world, I would go and check this stuff out anytime . . . . there is a tie in with Death Crew 77 but I leave that to the hardcore doofers to suss out for themselves.

ANYHOO, STAND ON THE LOUD PEDAL, FIX YOUR EYES ON THE CLIP AND GO TO HELL WITH THE LATEST AND GREATEST IN DIRTBAG DANCE PUNK, THE BLOODY BEETROOTS, BELTIN YOU ROUND THE EARS WITH "ROCKSTEADY" . . . . YEAH !!!!

SHADY LANE "CONVENIENT FACE HINGE" . . . . A DELIGHTFULLY DISTURBING VIDEO AND A FANTASTICALLY FREAKY LITTLE TUNE . . . . I'M JUST OFF TO SCORE ME SOME OF THOSE BATH SALTS . . . . MMMMM, A NICE BIT OF FACE NIBBLING, TASTY SHIT !!!

1965 ISDT ISLE OF MAN - PT 2 0F 3 . . . . I GUESS WE ALL ASSOCIATE THE I.O.M WITH THE TT ROAD RACING . . . . IT'S ALSO SEEN ITS SHARE OF ENDURO ACTION STARTING WITH THE 1965 ISDT . . . . MAN, THIS LOOKS LIKE COLD, WET, MISTY, DIRTY WORK . . . . AND THAT'S THE NATURE OF THE BEAST IF THE ISDT WAS YOUR BAG.

Words like grueling, fatiguing and frustrating come to mind when I watched this bit of history for the first time tonight, the Paris-Dakar is way more capable of fucking your shit up but there are so many intricate and exacting tests invoved in a six day trial . . . . all sorts of annoying ways of pushing a wet and cold rider and his mud machine beyond their limits, a myriad of ways to lose points not only for yourself but for your country, it was a legitimate test of riders, bikes and teamwork and I'm sure it still is.

This is part two of a three part gig so go on and check out the first and the last parts, the perfectly British narrator runs through the rules and regs so you get a decent idea of just how torturous this caper would've been when combined with arsewipe weather on a little island in the Irish Sea nearly fifty years ago . . . .

BIG AUDIO DYNAMITE - "E=MC2" . . . . THE BLOGOSPHERE, WHAT A TRIP, ONE THING ALWAYS LEADING TO ANOTHER . . . . GUY MENTIONS BERNIE RHODES, I THINK 'THE CLASH' THEN BOUNCE STRAIGHT OVER TO 'B.A.D' . . . . THESE GUYS WERE GROUNDBREAKERS . . . . SAMPLES IN ROCK MUSIC, WTF ???

MICK JONES AND DON LETTS IN THE SAME BAND . . . . THAT SHIT WAS ALWAYS GONNA YIELD SOME SWEET MUSICAL FRUIT . . . . NOBODY SOUNDED LIKE THESE GUYS AND STILL DON'T . . . . THIS GEM MAKES ME FEEL WARM AND FUZZY EVERY SINGLE TIME I HEAR IT . . . . FUSING SO MUCH TOGETHER FOR THE FIRST TIME . . . . PROPER FUCKING DYNOMITE THIS IS . . . . SAMPLERS PARADISE . . . . OH YEAH.

THIS IS MY "PURPLE PENIS" 2010 XL1200X '48 . . . . I SAID FROM THE OUTSET OF THIS BLOG THAT BIKES LIKE THIS ARE NOT 'CUSTOMS' AND NEVER WILL BE . . . . THEY ARE 'SLIGHTLY MODIFIED STOCK' RIDES . . . . THE WORD 'CUSTOM' IS SOOOO PROSTITUTED THESE DAYS IT'S NOW NEAR FUCKING MEANINGLESS !!!!

HELLO OLLIE BANANAS, NOW YOU CAN HAVE A DECENT PERVE AT MY TOOL, WORK TOOL THAT IS BABY . . . . YES, I HAVE POSTED A COUPLE OF THESE BEFORE BUT IN LIGHT OF THE PREVIOUS SHOT AND A COUPLE OF REQUESTS, ONE LAST TIME.

Maybe I'm a sucker for abuse or derision, perhaps I'm just self possessed and arrogant, or is it that I'm comfortable with my decisions and confident in my own pre-existing design ethic, fuck, I don't know for sure but it's how I am . . . . I never envisioned owning a product of the MoCo, let alone a model that I knew from the get go would have the living piss taken out of it by the serious, lifelong devotees of the marque and detractors, I mean, fuck, I'd put shit on me, fad jumper, scenester, hipster . . . . sorry dudes, but I know my heritage and so do those around me who have known me the last, oh, I don't know, thirty fuckin years and more !!!

Pardon the covering of old ground to the few who have been checkin my stuff since the inception, I'd been deliberating over a new scoot for a couple of years, and I mean 'new', I didn't want any drama, unexpected or expected mid journey failures . . . . it had to be reliable on a daily basis for work use and ready to rock and roll for everything else above and beyond that, terminal roadside trauma I didn't need, sorry, the memories of old Meridan like malfunctions had lost their allure, you gotta get to the gig if you're gonna move the booze.

So . . . . I committed to buyin the Skirtster, figured what damage I was gonna inflict upon the pretty lame stock standard "factory custom look" to make it mine three months prior to its arrival, and live the Harley dream, [ha ha ha] which was always going to involve entirely non factory parts and absolutely no factory merchandise, I was buying a bike, not a new lifestyle . . . . anyway, over a year and a half of ownership I don't regret for a minute purchasing what is now the "Purple Penis", it does its job perfectly and without complaint, all the mods have been based pretty much on function and enhanced performance and she's done, end of story . . . . almost.

The plan was always to get me a slice of genuine used Bar and Shield action, which, after much searching, went down just before Christmas, and now that I have most of the parts assembled it's a matter of putting together my own, legitimate 'custom' hoggly chop . . . . having only ever owned and ridden Triumphs, that's gonna be a brand new thrill and one that I'm totally stoked to be embarking on, as much as I love the penis machine, there is nothing like an old, used and loved bike, nothing !!

Project Shoveller, which I will finally be posting shots of next week, at last, will give me ample opportunity to enjoy the delights of unforseen moments of roadside solitude, sudden and unexpected financial hemorrhaging from the arse and all the other wonderful joys that only owning and riding silly old motorcycles can provide . . . . sadly, given that my recently discovered spanner genius has closed doors and is now working 'for' someone, I might just have to locate me a new guru to do the hardcore engineering and build essentials that my mediocre mechanical skill set has no real chance of completing to the level I want . . . . . . . now, there's a bloke in Braidwood who is perfect for the job, just have to convince him to take it on . . . . cheers folks, shiny side skywards.

IN A WORLD LADEN WITH UBER COOL HARDCORE CHOPS AND CUSTOMS, HAND FABBED METAL MASTERPIECES AND PERIOD PERFECTLY CORRECT SICKLES COMES . . . . MY NEAR BOG STOCK STANDARD '48 PRIOR TO ITS REBIRTH AS THE "PURLPLE PENIS" . . . . ABOUT TWO MONTHS INTO OUR LOVE AFFAIR . . . .

The popular line about only old Skirtsters being cool . . . . shove that one, they were all new once.

At this point in our life together all that had been done to the Sporty were the pipes, bars, tires and the losing of about forty tons of horrid plastic, reflectors, belt guards and anything else that isn't required. It got flogged and flogged hard in the first two months, around 8,000 klms, and is now sitting on the 35,000 mark . . . . also with tuning 'Dynopakthingy', new rear shocks and front springs, the larger non custom 1200 tank and Von Pato's paintwork, Speed Merchant finned derby cover, removed output cover, de-blacked fork legs and brace and hand re-worked air cleaner . . . . it is what it is folks and no apologies, a ultra reliable, moderately cool everday tool, the '74 shovel is going to take me back to the '69 and '74 Trumpy ownership days of breakdowns, cursing, kickstarting, scraped knuckles and phone calls to mates with utes in the middle of the night from hundreds of kilometers away.

***** ALL THOSE WANTING TO SEE THE SPORTSTER CATEGORY TAKE THE LEAD IN CHOPPERDAVE'S POLL, GET OVER THERE QUICK SMART AND IN A HURRY AND PUT IN YOUR VOTE . . . . THOSE BLOODY SHOVELS ARE NEARLY HITTING THE FRONT !!! DON'T TELL ALLEN AT LADY HUMP . . . . HE'LL BE TRULY SUICIDAL . . . .

THE ROLLING STONES "RESPECTABLE" FROM 'SOME GIRLS' 1978 . . . . 50 YEARS A ROLLIN AND KEEF'S STILL WITH US, AND MICK, CHARLIE AND THE 'NEW KID' RONNIE . . . . THE BEATLES . . . . WHO THE HELL WERE THEY ????

FILE UNDER "ITS ONLY ROCK AND ROLL, BUT I FUCKIN LOVE IT, YES I DO !!!"

THE SEMINAL BAD BOYS OF ROCK AND ROLL, THE FIRST WHITE GUYS TO COVER BLACK MUSIC WITH CONVICTION AND AUTHENTICITY, THE BAND THAT THE TERM 'LOCK UP YOUR DAUGHTERS' WAS COINED FOR . . . . AND SORRY KIDDIES, THE BAND WHO EMBODIED THE PUNK ETHOS BEFORE THE MC5, PISTOLS AND RAMONES HAD STRUCK A CHORD IN ANGER . . . .

THEY MAY WELL BE SPEEDING TOWARD SEVENTY BUT THEY'RE THE BENCHMARK FOR A COMMITMENT TO DOIN THE BUSINESS FOR LIFE . . . . JUST AS THEIR HEROES BEFORE THEM DID . . . . AND EVEN THOUGH THE PONCY JAGGER HAS BOUGHT HIMSELF A KNIGHTHOOD, MUCH TO THE CONSTANT AND DESERVED PISSTAKING FROM KEEF, RON AND CHARLIE . . . . 'RESPECTABLE' . . . . I DON'T THINK SO !!!!

"FIRING UP THE HORNER BROTHERS MAGNIFICENT IRVING-VINCENT" [POST ON POOTUBE BY 'SMDRZ440'] . . . . I'VE POSTED THIS AFTER THE MEMORY JOG BY TIM AT LOVELESS ENGINEERING . . . . THE WINNERS OF THE '08 BATTLE OF THE TWINS HAVE COME A LONG WAY WITH THEIR STATE OF THE ART UPDATE ON THE GREATEST VEE-TWIN EVER PRODUCED . . . . MESSRS DAVIES, VINCENT AND IRVING WOULD BE OVER THE FUCKING MOON !!!!

REGULAR READERS WOULD LIKELY BE AWARE I'M A COMPLETE IDIOT FOR THE H.R.D/VINCENT CAPER AND THEIR PLACE IN THE WICKED WORLD OF MOTORSICKLE FOLKLORE . . . . AS IF THEY WEREN'T A COOL ENOUGH BIT OF KIT AS A STANDARD JIGGER BOTH BACK IN THE DAY AND SIXTY YEARS DOWN THE BLACKTOP OF LIFE, THEN THE AUSSIE ENGINEERING MOB, THE HORNERS, TAKE IT ALL TO ITS NATURAL, STATE THE ART CONCLUSION . . . .

Check this shit out, what a wild piece of over engineering deliciousness, a steroid driven, 'big block' Vinnie complete with dry clutch and a host of other space age retro fit upgrades, mounted in a frame that launches the behemouth well and truly into the 21st century . . . . I knew the lads had swept all before them at Daytona four years ago but hadn't seen that much of the bikes up close or heard much since . . . . so when Lovey posted them hot on the heels of his spiritual victory at the Festival of a Thousand Bikes at Mallory Park, I went off in search of more meat to sink my fangs into . . . .

This thing is absolutely fucking gorgeous tough in every possible way, and it only goes to show how brilliant the initial Vincent twin concept was seventy years ago, and by the time the genius who Phil "Tuning for Speed" Irving was, had finished fettling the Stevenage rocket, it justly became the single most impressive vee twin ever made . . . . the Horner Bros reworking of the Vincent powerplant proves conclusively this is the case. The case for the defence rests. Thanks for the inspiration Lovey.

I PROMISE THIS IS GOING TO BE MY LAST BF4 POST . . . . WELL, HOPEFULLY . . . . I LOVE THE WAY THIS CLIP CAPTURES THE INTENSE REFLECTIVE PROCESS OF THE BUILDER . . . . MICHAEL BARRAGAN FROM 'EVIL SPIRIT' CONTEMPLATING LIFE, THE UNIVERSE AND EVERYTHING THE NIGHT BEFORE THE 'BIG ONE' . . . .

GUYS AT THE LEVEL OF THIS BLOKE, WHOEVER THEY ARE, WHEREVER THEY ARE, WHATEVER THEY'RE BUILDING, I GUESS THEY MUST ALL GO THROUGH THIS PROCESS OF INTROSPECTION AND SELF CRITICISM . . . . LOOKING DEEP WITHIN THEIR MINDS EYE, ASSESSING WHETHER THE FINAL REALITY MEASURES UP TO THE MENTAL PICTURE THEY'VE CLUNG TO THROUGHOUT THE JOURNEY OF TRYING TO GO FROM CONCEPT TO REALITY . . . . IT'S SO MUCH MORE AT THIS STAGE OF THE GAME THAN, 'SHIT, ONLY TWELVE HOURS LEFT TO GET THIS SUCKER DONE !!', BY NOW, THERE AIN'T NO GOIN BACK.

I LOOK AT THIS AS REPRESENTATIVE OF WHAT ALL TRULY GREAT CRAFTSMEN PUT THEMSELVES THROUGH WHENEVER THE END OF THE ORDEAL IS NIGH, HAVE THEY REMAINED TRUE TO THEIR VISION, THEIR 'IDEAL' FORM . . . . NO MATTER WHAT THE GAWKERS AND THE HAWKERS MIGHT SAY OR THINK ABOUT IT, THE SIGNIFICANT AND PRE-EMMINENT CONCERN FOR TALENTS SUCH AS THIS IS ONE THING AND ONE THING ONLY . . . . DO 'THEY' LIKE WHAT THEY'VE DONE, PURE AND OH SO FUCKING SIMPLE, ARE 'THEY' SATISFIED THAT THEIR BEST HAS BEEN GOOD ENOUGH IN THEIR OWN EYES, 'THEY' SET THEIR OWN STANDARD FOR THE ELUSIVE MOTHERFUCKER THAT PERFECTION IS, PLEASING THEMSELVES IS THE HARDEST PART OF ALL.

FOR WHAT IT'S WORTH MR BARRAGAN . . . . YOU NAILED IT.



***** MUCHOS GRACIAS TO 'EVILSPIRITENGINEERIN' FOR THE POST ON POOTUBE.