KICKSTART MY HEART . . . . SORTA COOL TUNE BUT A LIMPDICK, LYCRA CLAD, HAIRSPRAY OVERKILL BAND . . . . NOTHING LIKE THE KICK PEDAL DESIGNED BY THE MAN FROM MULLINS CHAIN DRIVE . . . . I DIDN'T WANT A HARLEY VERSION OF TRIUMPH'S NOTORIOUSLY PISSY ASSEMBLY . . . . I ALSO WANTED SUPER NARROW, UNBREAKABLE, SIMPLE, SMOOTH TRIPLE CLAMPS . . . . ENTER BRANDON CASQUILHO

What can you say about the one and only Senor Brandon Casquilho, freak genius extaordinaire, master metal massager, partaker of the gentleman's pipe, a man who can look equally as attractive in a tutu, a harp seal half jacket, or, simply nude sporting a magnificent mangina, I feel like by supporting him via his parts catalogue is somehow contributing to his ongoing mental health counseling in some small way, working for your sanity if you will . . . . but seriously . . . . I am serious, and please, feel free to call me Shirley.
 

I had been literally entranced by the Mullins Chain Drive site since it first went up, seeing close up the stuff that featured on several bikes I admired so much was something of a revelation, I've said before that you can just 'tell' quality by looking at some things on occasion and when you see his triple clamps, frames and kicker pedals and combine that with what you've seen of his own bikes, the metal work he's executed on tanks and the like for other blokes rides you have seen over the years in print and on the interweb . . . . it's truly outrageous !!

When my trees and kicker turned up I near moistened my underwear, totally and absolutely marvelous in every way possible, the triple clamps are the essence of form following function, clean and simple, no fancy, frilly shit here, just impeccable design and casting to maximise their strength and function, no concessions to milling out lightening reliefs, none of your cutesy  patterns, they're like military spec kit, the brief was to manufacture skinny trees . . . . so they're firstly skinny and secondly, totally fucking bulletproof . . . . done, jobs a goodun.

What do you want out of a kick pedal, I'll tell you what I don't want, loud silly colours, rubber, plastic, ice climbing serrations, but mostly, something that won't destroy itself after three months of use and will look simple, purpose specific and cool . . . . based on those criteria the Mullins pedal is a complete winner, sure there's other great options available out there but the design ethic behind Mr Tiny Dancer's product is all class all the way . . . . like his trees, this thing is built super tuff, A grade casting mounted on a first quality spindle and hardware make this one kickarse kicker. Mullins rules !!! 

THOUGHT I'D TAKE YOU THROUGH A BIT OF A CLOSE UP TOUR OF SOME OF THE BITS DESTINED FOR 'PROJECT SHOVELLER' . . . . IF IT WASN'T STILL WINTER AND THEY'RE ABOUT TO BE PUT TO USE, I'D SLEEP WITH THESE . . . . JOSH FRAZITTA'S 'THROWBACK' FINNED ROCKER COVERS . . . . SIMPLY OUTSTANDING QUALITY AND A TESTAMENT TO JOSH'S PURSUIT OF EXCELLENCE.

When I saw Irish Rich's write-up on these divine pieces from the ultra talented Josh Frazitta my mind began to swim, they looked the absolute duck's nuts, only bigger and finned and meant for shovelheads not the feathery bit between the legs of a drake, and I knew I had to have them . . . . I have had a love affair with cast alloy performance parts for years, ever since dad put a finned rocker cover on the LC GTR back in the seventies . . . . when I got my first set of Midtracks in the mail in 1977 that only intensified and moreso when the 169 Indy's arrived some two years later, I remember holding them and kinda rolling them around in my hands, the tiny surface irregularities, the dull sheen instead of a hard, antiseptic shine of chrome or high polish alloy . . . . think Halibrand and American Racing wheels, the wonderful Minilite and all the go fast goodies from the late fifties and early sixties cast from high magnesium content alloys, there is a tactile quality about them quite apart from the straight up visual allure . . . . Throwback's rocker covers are in the same league.

I waited a while until Josh had them all machined and ready to go and when they arrived in the mail, dang, if they weren't even better in the flesh than I imagined they could be, beautiful is a massive understatement, the detail and attention to it, is fully mindboggling, perfectly machined faces, bolt holes and seats, no daggy flash hanging off anywhere and the aesthetic appeal of classic era performance parts, amazingly presented stuff, real quality has an appearance you just can't fake . . . . these things have it in spades.

And just like all the bits and pieces that have come before these eyecatching, sand cast, retro styled, hand made, immaculately finished components, they have that same character, a 'patina' that only this level of quality and production technique possess, individual, massaged with love and care by the human hand, not just popped out of some endless, automated, sterile assembly line . . . . there's real commitment and passion in this shit, you can feel it, you do sense it and, moreover . . . . they look great and will also do a proper job of helping dissipate heat away from the top end . . . . the shovel's gonna thank me for this, sure as hell.

I've said it before and I'll say it again, my sincere thanks and gratitude to Josh Frazzita for top shelf service and having the balls, persistence and unwavering commitment to quality to get these babies out there, well done mate, an extraordinary result you should be rightly chuffed about . . . . I'll run them with real pride. 

FATHERS DAY SPECIAL . . . . TO ALL MY GOOD BUDDIES NOW IN THE FULL FLOWER OF FATHERHOOD . . . . I LOVE YOUSE ALL . . . . WHO'D HAVE THUNK IT THIRTY YEARS AGO . . . . ALL GROWED UP WITH YOUNG'NS OF OUR OWN . . . . RESPONSIBLE, UPRIGHT AND SOLID CITIZENS ONE AND ALL . . . . WELL, MOSTLY . . . . TE, HE, HE !!!!

THE FINKSTER ABOUT TO SWAT THE DRAGON FLY . . . . THE NEXT SHOT WAS TOO MESSY TO PUBLISH

TWENTY YEARS AGO . . . . POST GIG . . . . EXPLODED HEAD ON A TOP OF AN EXPLODING HEAD TEE . . . .  OH DEAR

DEDICATED TO 'HAIRY LARRY' . . . . TAKEN FROM ZAPPA'S SURREALIST COUNTER CULTURE CLASSIC "200 MOTELS", A SCENE THAT ENDED UP IN THE CUTTING ROOM SHITTER . . . . THE PHANTASTICALLY, PHABULOUSLY PHALLIC, 'PENIS MOBILE' . . . . SOON TO BE ISSUED BY HOT WHEELS AS A 'TREASURE HUNT' SPECIAL . . . . TALK ABOUT FREAKIN OUT THE SQUARES, THIS WAS RADICALLY NAUGHTY STUFF !!!!

I'D ONLY EVER SEEN A PHOTO OF THIS PHANTASMAGORICAL MOSHEEN ONCE BEFORE, IN A BOOK ABOUT CARS OF THE STARS OR SOME SCHTICKY THING LIKE THAT, I'D TRIED TO SIT THROUGH '200 MOTELS' YEARS AGO . . . . WASTED AND MORE THAN A BIT BENT OUTTA SHAPE AND COULDN'T FOR THE LIFE OF ME REMEMBER A SCENE CONTAINING PHOOTAGE OF PHRANK'S 'PENIS MOBILE' . . . . 

NOT REALLY SURPRISING AS I NOW DISCOVER IT WAS CUT FROM THIS ZAPPA FUNDED AND WRITTEN, CONTROVERSIALLY PREVOCATIVE COUNTER CULTURAL MINDPHUCK. APPARENTLY THE MOVIE HAS NOW BEEN RESTORED AND RE-RELEASED WITH ALL SCENES INCLUDED . . . . IF YOU HAVE THE TIME, THE INCLINATION AND HEADSPACE, CHECK IT OUT, PROTOTYPICAL PHRANK . . . . TAKING A SWIPE AT SOCIETY, THE STRAIGHTS, THE MUSIC BIZ, EVEN HIMSELF . . . . NOT SURE IF I COULD ATTEMPT IT AGAIN WITHOUT THE RIGHT ACOUTRAMENTS . . . . IF YOU DIG WHAT I'M LAYING DOWN . . . . MAN . . . .

***** POST SCRIPT . . . . THE 'PENIS MOBILE' WAS THE DESIGN OF LONG TIME ZAPPA ALUMNI AND ARTIST, CAL SCHENKEL, HE DID FRANK'S ALBUM COVERS, CONTRIBUTED VOCALS ON OCCASIONAL TRACKS AND WAS GENERALLY AT THE EPICENTRE OF THE ZAPPA VORTEX . . . . HE ALSO, AND SORTA UNEXPECTEDLY FROM MY POINT OF VIEW, DID THE COVER ART FOR ONE DON VAN VLIET'S MUSICAL MILESTONE/MILLSTONE "TROUT MASK REPLICA" . . . . I'D REALLY LOVE TO KNOW WHAT BOTH ZAPPA AND BOOFHEART THOUGHT ABOUT THAT . . . . ???

A FEW MORE SHOTS I GOT IN AT WILLOWBANK BEFORE THE SUMMER SMELTER-SWELTER-MELTER SMACKED ME ON MY SUNBURNT ARSE . . . . THE POOR BLOKE PICTURED WAS CAMPAIGNING THIS MIGHTY TOUGH, QUICK [AT LEAST, POTENTIALLY] BIG INCH S&S SPORTY WEDGED INTO THE BUELL FRAME . . . . IT WAS NOT TO BE HIS DAY UNFORTUNATELY . . . . WHAT A DRAG.

To cut a long and frustrating story short, the bloke losing substantial amounts of weight and 'precious bodilyfluids' in the full leathers on a day that was the best part of forty degrees, has been persevering with this waycool, way long laddered, way tough lookin jigger for a couple of years . . . . big coin spent on the full tits S&S donk and box with all the goods, frame, forks, rubber, tuning, dyno, yada, yada, yada, but sadly for him on this day of reckoning, the whole operation turned to very runny, smelly poo and any chance of victory evaporated like race gas on the tarmac . . . .        

The thing was running like a very large sack of shite, his times were getting worse and worse and he was on the verge of heat stroke at one point, everything he and his sidekick/spannerman tried was not only in vain but retrograde by degrees, the epitome of the old chestnut 'oh well, that's racing' . . . . nonetheless, he kept going back for more time and time again when it would've been so easy to chuck it in and walk away, load the beast onto the trailer and fuck off home . . . . 

But, like all of you who race, in whatever form it may be, the reason he didn't was universal, he was getting his jollies, the rush, the adrenalin, the fix, even on a bike that was so letting him down . . . . the thrill of just being out there, that's what kept him humping his rapidly dehydrating bag of bones up to the Chrissy tree time after disappointing time, even on a bad day, it's the best thing going . . . . he'll be back at the next meeting doing exactly the same . . . . having a big fucking go !!!!

THIS . . . . THIS IS WHERE I LIVE . . . . THIS IS WHERE I'VE LOVED . . . . THIS IS WHERE I'VE LOST . . . . WHATEVER THE CASE MAY BE . . . . THIS . . . . THIS IS HOME.

THE BEST WAY TO SEE SUFFERERS PARASITE . . . . SOME DISTANCE AWAY LOOKING PRETTY

SOME DAYS ARE DIAMONDS . . . . THE VIEW SOUTH . . . . HIGHRISE ANYONE ?

SUNSET LATE SUMMER LOOKING WEST TO THE HILLS . . . . LOVE THE SMELL OF FRANGIPANI BLOSSOM

STORM FRONT ROLLING IN FROM THE WEST . . . . BIG RAIN ON THE TIN ROOF IS CACOPHONOUS

THE SKY'S BEEN CRYING . . . . GOD'S TEARDROPS ON THE FRANGIPANI BLOOMS

DADA LIFE "KICK OUT THE EPIC MOTHERF**CKER" . . . . DOOF-DOOF WITH A 9" SCHLONG AND BIG, HAIRY BALLS, FUCK YEAH !!!! . . . . YET MORE EVIDENCE THAT THERE'S SOMETHING WEIRD GOING ON WITH THE WATER SUPPLY IN SWEDEN . . . . BITCHIN CLIP TO ACCOMPANY THE LATEST SHTICK FROM THIS PAIR OF NO FRILLS DOOFERS . . . . ULTRA SLOW-MO FOOTAGE IS JUST MENTAL !!!

Doof-doof has never really been my bag of frosted cocks as a general rule, then every now and again a tune will come along that grabs me by the piece of skin between the scrotum and the backdoor and hurls me onto the dancefloor in my twisted little mind . . . . throw in a super rad clip to amp up the musical psychosis levels and I'm out there, throwing it down and looking the right tosser, this pair of dangerous Dadaists from the land of the dubious water supply are just those kind of dirty, dangerous doofer dudes . . . . fucking shit up at 160 bpm . . . hell yeah !!!!

I WAS LUCKY TO JAM WITH MANY MUSICAL HEROES OVER THE YEARS, TREASURED MEMORIES ONE AND ALL . . . . THIS NIGHT IS POSSIBLY THE MOST INTENSELY MEMORABLE OF THE LOT . . . . TOURING ON THE SUCCESS OF 'PULP FICTION' AND IT'S SOUNDTRACK, LINK WRAY PLAYED OUR BLUES BAR IN '96 . . . . WHAT A FUCKING RUSH, THREE SONGS WITH A HERO AT MY OWN GIG . . . . SHIT MAN, HE WAS LOUD !!!!

I've posted before about this unforgettable night in my life so find the original post for more details, Link Wray, near seventy, and just destroying it live on stage at mine and my best mate's gig, 'The Doghouse Blues Bar and Grill', the show was totally fucking awesome, ear-bleed loud, frantic young players backing him up and a thousand sweaty, berzerk punters getting off . . . . Link called me up toward the end of his set and we did three tunes, Flying Saucer Rock and Roll, Walkin the Dog and Route 66, I remember it vividly even though I was pretty well pissed, I was so stoked and couldn't get the grin off my mug . . . . I didn't know this shot existed until a couple of days ago when a mate gave it to me, thanks a million Jay Boy, the quality isn't brilliant but I'm definitely getting it framed and hung somewhere . . . . just thought I'd share it before I do, a night that I'll always remember . . . . R.I.P Link Wray, the King of Fuzztone guitar.

LINK WRAY CRANKING IT AT 'THE DOGHOUSE' 1996 . . . . AND ME TRYING TO GET MY HEAD AROUND SINGING WITH A CERTIFIED LEGEND AND PERSONAL HERO . . . . MY TRUSTY SIDEKICK, GORDONS GIN, FIRMLY IN MY RIGHT HAND

TOM WAITS "HELL BROKE LOOSE" . . . . THE OLD GRAVEL GARGLER MAKING A STATEMENT ON WAR, POLITICS, RELIGION AND ALL THE OTHER SHIT THAT FUCKS THE WORLD IN ITS ARSE . . . . SURREAL, HAUNTING AND CUTTING REAL CLOSE TO THE BONE . . . . DID SOMEONE MENTION COLLATERAL DAMAGE ???

In a week when another five Aussie troops lost their lives in the war against . . . . whatever it was we were warring over . . . . I figured this was pretty appropriate, or at least timely . . . . fuck, this guy just keeps getting better [or should that be bitter?] with age, spewing vitriol like napalm, this is what you call a well directed rant . . . . nobody seethes like Tom with a gutful.

My thoughts and best wishes for safety and a homeward journey go out to all our servicemen and women deployed around the world . . . . doing what they have done throughout history, following orders and putting their lives on the line . . . . Australia is thinking of you.

SPIRITUALIZED "LITTLE GIRL" . . . . YOU GOTTA SEE THIS CLIP . . . . I HAD HEARD THIS FABULOUS, EARLY SEVENTIES FEEL TUNE ON THE RADIO IN THE CAR A FEW TIMES RECENTLY . . . . I HAD NO IDEA THAT THE VIDEO FEATURED THE SEXY AS, POMMIE BIKER STUNT CHICK, CHESCA MILES . . . . PLUS SOME RATBAG GERMAN STUNT DUDES, BIKE ACTION AND MORE COOL SHIT !!!!

AWESOME NEWISH RELEASE FROM 'SPIRITUALIZED' . . . . MADE EVEN ALL THE MORE AWESOME DUE TO CHESCA MILES, SUPER SEXY ENGLISH GIRL OF MAJOR RIDIN SKILLS, AND I'M TALKIN BIKES HERE, APPEARING AS THE LEAD CHARACTER . . . . LIKE I SAID, WICKED TUNE AND WICKED CLIP, MAKE SURE YOU READ THE NOTES ON THE BACKGROUND BEHIND THE MAKING OF THE CLIP ON THE POOTUBE PULLDOWN THINGY . . . . SERIOUSLY NEAT SHIT, ENJOY.