PROJECT SHOVELLER HAS GOT ME SALIVATING IN ANTICI . . . . PATION !!!! TRAWLING AROUND BEING INSPIRED BY RIDES THAT I HAVE ALWAYS BEEN MOVED BY . . . . I'LL NEVER BE LUCKY ENOUGH TO OWN A KNUCKLE AND THE SHOVEL AIN'T GONNA BE IN THIS STYLE . . . . THAT DOESN'T MEAN DIDDLY, THIS SCOOT IS A DEFINITE INCLUSION IN MY TOP TEN OF THE LAST DECADE . . . . 110% RIGHT.

Of all the bikes Max Schaaf has knocked up this is still my personal pick, especially with this inlet cover as opposed to the other version often seen fitted, the pipes had me from hello, the 4Q logo on the tank is the boobies, ratio of rear to front wheel/tyre set-up, combo of chrome and paint breaking up the springer, the 'bars, the lamp and other subtle brass accents, oil tank . . . . then there's the sensually brutal aesthetic appeal of the knuckle sitting in the middle of the whole shebang, what's not to drool over ?? Super honest, made to wail tail, proto-cool bike building at its best . . . . fuck skating, lets ride !!!!

***** Thanks to whoever it was who took the pic, I pinched this one from El Corra Motors blog, cheers.

"BILTWELL" AWESOMENESS . . . . I DON'T DIG SHINY THINGS OTHER THAN RIMS AND PIPES . . . . BUT THESE BEAUTIES ARE FANTASTIC KIT, I REALISE WHY SO MANY CREW USE THEM, NO FUSS . . . . THEY'VE BEEN HIT WITH THE STEELO PAD TO LOSE THE 'SHINY SHINY' . . . . I WILL PROBABLY GIVE THEM A RUB WITH SOME 1200 WET AND DRY . . . . RELIEVE SOME MEAT FROM THE BRACKET, THEN . . . . JOB'S DONE !!!!

RETURN OF THE "PURPLE PENIS" . . . . LOOKING A BIT LIKE A TRANS-GENDER GIMP BUT NOW HANDLING BETTER THAN NEW . . . . NO MORE POXY, FLAKEY, RUSTY, SHITTY CHROME SPOKES . . . . KISSED GOODBYE TO THE STOCK BLACK RIMS . . . . NEW REAR BAG MINUS WHITEWALL . . . . 'BRUSHED' THE 'BILTWELL' STAINLESS PEGS, NEED TO MAKE A SMALL MOD TO FIT THEM . . . . THEN IT'S DONE !!!

NO BLOODY WONDER THE SPORTSTER-PHALLUS WAS HANDLING LIKE THE PROVERIAL BAG OF SHIT, FLOGGED RUBBER ISOLATING BUSHES, FLOGGED SLEEVE, BADLY WORN SPHERICAL BEARINGS . . . . STRANGELY, ONE OF THE BOLTS HOLDING THE SLEEVE IN PLACE HAD SHEARED OFF AT THE HEAD, THE SECOND WAS ONLY FINGER TIGHT, GOT TO WONDER IF THIS MAY HAVE BEEN A FACTORY FUCK-UP . . . . ANYWAY, ALL IS BETTER THAN GOOD NOW, NO EXAGGERATED BEEMER LIKE WEAVING INTO SWEEPING CURVES, NO FREE PLAY, TIGHT AS A FISH'S PRIVATE BITS . . . . IT'S PRETTY MUCH HOW I ENVISIONED IT BEING TWO AND HALF YEARS AGO, BIG LOVE TO ROSCOE FOR DOING THE BUSINESS IN HIS USUAL, HALF-ARSED, UNCARING WAY . . . . THANKS BRO, AWESOME JOB !!!!

THE CLASH "TRAIN IN VAIN" LIVE . . . . NOT ONLY MY FAVOURITE BAND BUT MY FAVE TUNE ABOUT LOVE AND LOSS . . . . YEAH, THE SOUNDS PRETTY ROUGH, THE LIGHTING FOR THE FOOTAGE SUCKS ARSE, BUT . . . . ITS SO FUCKING REAL, SO INCREDIBLY HONEST AND RAW . . . . GREAT ROCK+ROLL WAS NEVER ABOUT PERFECTION . . . . IT'S ABOUT HEART AND CONVICTION . . . . THE CLASH AT THEIR VERY BEST !!!

On the release of the multi-faceted and enduring 'London Calling' double album the boys from the Westway took to the roads of the USA to preach the 'Gospel According to Them' to the people, that legendary tour was called 'The Clash Take the Fifth', so named because they had good friend and keyboards player, Mickey Gallagher in tow, adding depth and feel side of stage, the band was so psyched for this tour, playing many gigs that became went onto to become musical myth . . . . I reckon this clip from New Joisey could be from that tour, Micks voice is pretty thrashed, Joe is on fire and Paul and Topper are just doing what great rhythm sections do, driving the beast from the crankcase up, I cant see Mickey anywhere but as I said, the lights and the lo-fi nature of the clip ain't shedding no light . . . . the song is all about politics of the human heart, the universality of the condition called life, pained and plaintive its always been a go-to tune for me, in moments of post relationship/marriage blues I've found it both restorative and uplifting . . . . from a double album that remains my ultimate 'Desert Island' must have, [well, a toss up with Miles Davis' 'Almost Blue'] this song from this time will always be something really special . . . . try and see through the grainy footage, listen beyond the sketchy sound and put yourself there and then . . . . fucking landmark, legendary stuff !!!

SPEAKING OF THE AWESOME STEVENAGE V-TWIN . . . . MY MOST ADMIRED VINCENT, AND IT'S A CUSTOM . . . . NOT JUST ANY SLIGHTLY TWEAKED, MODERN RUBBER SHOD, CLASSIC NERD JIGGER . . . . JEFF DECKER, ARTIST, MOTORCYCLE NUTTER AND ALL ROUND BRILLIANT TALENT IS THE OWNER/BUILDER . . . . DEFINITELY INSPIRED BY FREE, DICKERSON AND THE GOLDEN AGE OF SPEED . . . . OUTSTANDING WORK !!!

When Jeff Decker raised the curtain on this gorgeous Vinnie a few years ago it was met with predictable results from the arch purists and one eyed knuckle shufflers . . . . how dare someone defile not only a Vincent but a fucking Black Lightning to boot !!! You can't do that to a bike of that historical value !!! No, just watch me was Decker's response by way of executing the masterful piece of customising you see here . . . . the ghosts of Davies, Vincent and Irving would be chuffed to bits with this interpretation.

I remember reading about this thing on someone's blog or somewhere back then and was stoked to find out that Decker had access to a truckload of genuine parts that were used by, or designated for use by, both Rollie Free and Marty Dickerson . . . . how special does that shit make this superbly hand built and crafted custom ??? Plenty is probably the word you're searching for right now . . . . every thing done to this Lightning ads to the original design, both aesthetically and in performance terms, not a thing out of place and its all respectful of the ideals of the men who made the marque.

HISTORY YOU JUST GOT'S TO KNOW . . . . OR 'HOW THE WEST WAS WON' . . . . I DID A BLURB A WHILE BACK ON MARTY DICKERSON'S FAMOUS 'BLUE BIKE', ONE OF THE COOLEST RIDES EVER TO TURN A WHEEL . . . . I STUMBLED ONTO A GREAT LITTLE CLIP ON POOTUBE THAT GIVES A DECENT INSIGHT INTO THIS HALL OF FAME LEGEND'S ACTION PACKED LIFE . . . . FEELIN' THE NEED FOR SPEED, CLASSIC STYLE.

IF YOU'RE LIKE ME AND HAVE A FASCINATION AND PASSION FOR THE GLORY DAYS OF PIONEERING SALT FLAT RACING, YOU OWE IT TO YOURSELF TO BECOME FAMILIAR WITH THE EXPLOITS OF MARTY DICKERSON . . . . AND HIS EXTRAORDINARY, FAITHFUL AND FUCKING RAPID RAPIDE, THE LEGEND THAT IS "THE BLUE BIKE", NO POINT IN ME DRIBBLING ON HERE, HAVE A SQUIZ AT THE VIDEO BY 'FILMFISCHER' THEN GO AND DO SOME RESEARCH ON A BLOKE WHOSE CONTRIBUTION TO MODERN TWO WHEELED FOLKLORE IS SECOND TO NONE . . . . MARTY DICKERSON AND HIS BLUE BIKE . . . . TIMELESS COOL.

"1948 FL PANHEAD BOBBER JOBBER" [BY 'DOGCHOP' ON POOTUBE] . . . . IF YOU WANTED A BLUEPRINT FOR PUTTING TOGETHER A BOB JOB YOU COULDN'T GO PAST THIS . . . . FROM THE SECRET SOCIETY OF WIDOWS AND WELSHMEN . . . . A CHAP WHO MANY OF YOU LIKELY KNOW . . . . A BUILDER OF SUPER TASTY, FIRST CLASS SCOOTS . . . . A TOTAL GRASP ON THE ESSENCE OF PERIOD PERFECTION !!!

The sexy bloke seen kicking the old pan into life is its creator, a member of notorious bad boys, The Black Widows, one of the popular Low Level Hell bloggers, and from what I've seen on the interblog and PooTube over several years, arch eventer-come-party boy and connoisseur of mouldy old Harleys and their modification into retro style perfection . . . . the '48 panhead in this clip is one of my faves from his portfolio of the many bikes he's posted, the term 'period correct' gets a hard time from some quarters but for me it's just different strokes for other blokes, and if this beautiful black beast ain't period perfect, I'll eat poo for a month . . . . it's tough but easy on the eye, everything about it is absolutely spot on . . . . undoubtedly the fella in question will be Tripping Out this weekend on one of his steeds, if I was there I'd definitely be checking it out, whatever it is . . . . W.W.N.W.W . . . . ????

KIM BOYLE AT BCM . . . . A ZEN MASTER OF THE 'LESS IS MORE' APPROACH TO THE DESIGN ETHIC . . . . IT BLOWS ME AWAY HOW SOMETHING AS COLD AND LIFELESS AS METAL CAN APPEAR TO BE 'ORGANIC' IN ITS FORM . . . . THERE IS A DEFINITE AND TANGIBLY TACTILE NATURE TO THIS GUY'S WORK . . . . CHECK OUT HIS BLOG FOR VERIFICATION . . . . BAUHAUS AND BIKES IN PERFECT COEXISTENCE.

Another disciple of the 'fuck the frills' school of engineering design, if it serves no purpose, piss it off, excess is dead weight, form dictated entirely by function, keep it simple is the mantra that this dude seems to follow . . . . of all the blokes building bikes and producing parts, it's my opinion that nobody is at the same level of refined minimalism while still retaining eye popping beauty as the fella from Boyle Custom Moto . . . . as his profile becomes way more visible his work attains a sophisticated elegance borne of vanquishing the Devil in the detail.

I'm a simple bloke and I like simple things, when seeking out airfilters for the shovel, that was my overriding and all consuming concern, it had to be clean, simple and able to integrate fully with the overall 'theme' of the thing, so many cool rides are shot in the foot by the selection of a filter that stands out like dog's balls because it is at odds with the overall feel and look of the bike it's sitting on . . . . I wanted nude, unpolished alloy, no lines, contours, milled channels, branding . . . . just a part that would do the job it's made to do, not scream 'look at me'.

When this wee jigger arrived in its box and wrapped in Kim's signature shop rag, I literally couldn't put the thing down, not only did it look the boobies but the way it felt in my hands was so damned enjoyable, tactile, wanting to be caressed, fondled and gazed at up close, simplicty made manifest . . . . the attention to finish on every surface, seen and unseen is unbelievable, inside where all the physics of vortices and velocity do their thing to force air into the old Super E is as immaculately machined as the outer body is clearly hand finished, less is so much more.

CHIC - "GOOD TIMES" [1979] . . . . BRINGIN THE FUNKY GOOD TIMES GROOVE . . . . THE LATE, ENTIRELY GREAT, BERNARD EDWARDS AND THE BASSLINE THAT LAUNCHED A THOUSAND SAMPLES . . . . I'VE BEEN CONTEMPLATING THIS SINCE MATT AT 'DicE' CAME OVER ALL REFLECTIVE LATE LAST WEEK . . . . PERPETUALLY FUNKALICIOUS !!!!

***** FILE UNDER "BE A MAN AND ADMIT . . . . THIS IS THE FUNKY SHEEYIT"

1979 . . . . Disco was being brought to its flare flaunting knees on the backlit perspex dancefloor of clubland, the Punk virus was infecting the world's musical mindspace and Death to Disco was a sure thing that only the last dinosaurs at Studio 54 in a coke induced stupor would've bet against, it was a long way from the glory days of Saturday Night Torpor . . . . out of the fading glow of the mirror ball's reflected light came this piece of perfectly pure dancefloor funk that for a strobe light flickering minute almost made you think that the punk revolution was going to come to a grinding halt . . . . well, for as long as the aurally hypnotic and super funky bass kept pulsing in your ears.

From this one inspired masterpiece of funk drenched dancedelica, written primarily by bassist Bernard Edwards, came the bassline that within months would reappear as the loop on the first ever rap release, the equally incredible, eternal shrine to sampling, Sugarhill Gang's 'Rappers Delight', the record that introduced an entirely new musical form to the world at large . . . . it was such an obvious steal yet the man responsible for the killer bassline in question was nothing but effusive in his praise and admiration for the whole shebang, when he died back in the nineties, the fact that himself and guitarist co-founder, Nile Rogers, and the Chic-ettes together with the Sugarhill Gang had done a joint gig showcasing both Good Times and Rappers Delight highlights just how he felt.

The same bassline has subsequently been plagiarised by literally hundreds of acts the world over, more than even James Brown and Miles Davis combined . . . . this stuff is legitimately timeless, in five hundred years time when the folk on Mars are looking for a song that typifies not only the disco era but perhaps even funk and dance music generally, maybe Mr Edwards' composition and its killer bass track, not the more esoteric and high falutin George Clinton, Bootsy, P-Funk et al, will be the chosen example . . . .

ROB ZOMBIE . . . . I DIG HIS WORK WAY MORE THAN TRENT REZNOR'S . . . . BUT I LIKE STEFFAN'S 'BARS FROM ZOMBIE PERFORMANCE EVEN MORE . . . . UNLIKE DECISIONS ON TANK, TREES, AIRCLEANER, ROCKER COVERS AND KICK PEDAL, I LABOURED LONG AND HARD OVER CHOICE OF 'BARS FOR PROJECT SHOVELLER . . . . NUDE, BRUSHED STAINLESS WAS ALWAYS A CONSIDERATION . . . . BUT WHICH BLOODY STYLE ???

ALL THIS SHIT I'M PUTTING UP AND PUTTING OUT IS ALL STRICTLY A MATTER OF HIGHLY SUBJECTIVE PERSONAL PREFERENCE, I KNOW THAT, SO DO YOU, ONE MAN'S DRIVEL, ANOTHER MAN'S DELIGHT . . . . LOTS OF CREW DO LOVELY HAND FABBED HANDLEBARS, JUST A CASE OF CHOOSING WHO YOU WANT TO GO WITH IN THE END, AND IN THE END, I OPTED FOR STEFF'S OFFERINGS . . . . ZOMBIE STYLEE MAN !!!

MAYBE IT'S BECAUSE HE ENJOYS HIS CRAFT BREWS, POSSIBLY BECAUSE HE LIKES KNITTING, MAYBE BECAUSE HE IS PART OF THE ZEN BASTARDS AND WITH FRIENDS LIKE BASTARD PAT, WHO NEEDS AN ENEMA . . . . OR PERHAPS THAT HE MANAGED TO CONVINCE THE WORLD THAT THE ZOMBIE HE RAN INTO ON HIS SCOOT WAS A DEER BECAME THE FINAL CLINCHER, TRUTH BEING STRANGER THAN FICTION  . . . . I CAN'T TELL YOU FOR SURE . . . .

WHAT I CAN SAY IS THAT I'M FULLY STOKED ON THE THINGS, I COULDN'T MAKE UP MY MIND ON WHICH ONES I REALLY WANTED, SO, I SAVED A BIT MORE AND GOT BOTH THE 'WTF' MODELS AND THE VERY SNAZZY 'CHUPACABRA' TURNOUTS . . . . ALL HAND MADE HONESTY IN STAINLESS, NICE WELDS, NICELY BLANKED WHERE NEEDED, NICELY BRUSHED AND NICELY HANDLED WHEN IT CAME TO MY QUESTIONS AND THE ALTERATIONS FROM STOCK I DECIDED ON . . . . THANKS STEFF, HOPE YOU'RE ON THE WAY TO FULL CAPABILITIES AGAIN . . . . IF YOU NEED 'BARS . . . . THINK ZOMBIE !!!