WLP
DIVERSITY
Sunday, 30 December 2012
WELL, THIS IS MY FINAL FORAY FOR 2012 . . . . TOMMOROW I'LL BE GOING OFF LIKE A FROG IN A SOCK DELIVERING VINO FOR THE MASSES . . . . IT'S BEEN A RUSH DOING THIS BLOG THING, CHATTING TO PEOPLE AROUND THE WORLD, SOME NOW ARE FRIENDS, GETTING EDUCATED, TURNED ON AND TRIPPED OUT . . . . TO MY PSYCHOS GUILD, THE BLOGS I FOLLOW, A HUGELY HAPPY AND PROSPEROUS NEW YEAR. PEACE.
DIVERSITY
"TEA LEAVES - YOU ARE THE SCUM OF THE EARTH" [TEA LEAF = THIEF] . . . . WENT TO A MATE'S PREMATURE NEW YEAR'S EVE BASH LAST NIGHT, JUST DROPPED IN TO SAY GIDDAY TO A WHOLE BUNCH OF REALLY GOOD FRIENDS . . . . FORTY FIVE MINUTES I WAS THERE, BIKE PARKED RIGHT IN FRONT OF THE HOUSE . . . . WENT TO LEAVE, FEELING STOKED . . . . SOME SHITBAG HAS STOLEN MY FUCKING GOGGLES !!!
IT'S ALWAYS BEEN A SAD IRONY TO ME THAT IN OVER THIRTY YEARS OF LIVING THE SAME KIND OF LIFESTYLE YOU CAN GO TO SHOWS, PUBS, GIGS, PARTIES, WORKSHOPS, CLUB RIDES, WHATEVER, LEAVE ALL YOUR KIT ON YOUR SCOOT KNOWING WHEN YOU RETURN IT'LL BE THERE . . . . IN UNDER AN HOUR AT A DEAR MATE'S HOUSE AND IN COMPANY OF CLOSE FRIENDS AND GOOD TIMES, SOME CUNT FIGURES THAT THEY HAVE A RIGHT TO TAKE MY PROPERTY . . . . WELL FUCKHEAD, I'M NOT A VIOLENT MAN BY NATURE BUT YOU BETTER HOPE I DON'T SEE YOU WEARING SOME BROWN LEATHER AND BRASS HALCYON'S WITH SOME DEGREE OF PATINA AND TARNISHING CAUSE I'LL FUCKING KILL YOU, I'LL TEAR YOUR HEAD OFF FIRST THEN REMOVE MY GOGGLES . . . . GIVEN THIS STYLE IS SCARCELY, IF AT ALL, AVAILABLE IN OZ AND CERTAINLY THE ONLY PAIR AROUND HERE, IT'S A DEADSET GIVEAWAY YOU FUCK, LIKE MOST THIEVES, YOU'RE DUMB AS DOGSHIT . . . . I'D SUPPORT AN OPEN SEASON ON THIEVES 365 DAYS A YEAR, KILL EM ALL AT THE SLIGHTEST PROVOCATION . . . . KARMA, YOU FUCKER, IT'S HEADIN YOUR WAY . . . . DROP EM BACK TO RALPH'S PLACE, SAVE YOURSELF SOME PAIN !!!
Friday, 28 December 2012
"MOVIES, MOTORCYCLES & MERLOT" - LODI'S FILM TRIBUTE TO BIKER FLICKS ['LODIFILM' POOTUBE] . . . . THE INTERJIGGER IS STILL FULL OF SURPRISES FOR THIS BLOGGER . . . . WENT LOOKIN FOR SOME GRAND FUNK RAILROAD AND RAN HEAD ON INTO THIS BITCHIN MASH-UP, FEATURING ONE OF THE RAILROAD'S BEST . . . . AND A TRUCKLOAD OF LEGEND BIKE RELATED MOVIE HIGHLIGHTS . . . . BUT MERLOT, WTF??
Don't hear too much of Grand Funk Railroad these days unfortunately, so, in an attempt to set the ledger straight I went on a wee expedition in search of the men from Michigan and, as mentioned, slammed head-on into this insane bit of mash-up work from the merlot drinkers at Lodi Film Festival . . . . couldn't believe my luck, shit does happen as the tee-shirt tells us. In just over five fabulous minutes this wild bit of footage shows scenes from a huge number of some of the coolest, most loved flicks involving bikes, bikers and bikies ever committed to celluloid, and some non bike related persons as well.
The hit list includes, Hell's Angels on Wheels, Mad Max, Any Which Way but Loose, Poker Run, Greasy Rider, Pee Wee's Big Adventure and shitloads more, all accompanied by one of Grand Funk's coolest tunes, "Sin's a Good Man's Brother", a classic blues rocker from the dudes from Flint, Michigan, a burg so often linked to modern day, in ya face doco dude, Michael Moore . . . . if you could go to sleep and dream of the best bits from your fave two wheeled themed films I reckon it would come up lookin like this . . . . giddy up !!!!
The hit list includes, Hell's Angels on Wheels, Mad Max, Any Which Way but Loose, Poker Run, Greasy Rider, Pee Wee's Big Adventure and shitloads more, all accompanied by one of Grand Funk's coolest tunes, "Sin's a Good Man's Brother", a classic blues rocker from the dudes from Flint, Michigan, a burg so often linked to modern day, in ya face doco dude, Michael Moore . . . . if you could go to sleep and dream of the best bits from your fave two wheeled themed films I reckon it would come up lookin like this . . . . giddy up !!!!
Thursday, 27 December 2012
THE ELECTRIC FLAG - "FINE JUNG THING" ['THE TRIP' 1967] . . . . JEEZ I WISH I'D BEEN JUST A BEE'S DICK OLDER DURING THE LATE SIXTIES . . . . SHIT WAS SO BRAND NEW, SO TOTALLY UNIMAGINED, SO SPARKLINGLY FRESH . . . . THE ARTS, BIKES, CARS, COLLECTIVE CONSCIOUSNESS, THE VIBE . . . . THERE'S NO SHAME IN IT ALL BEING DERIVATIVE THESE DAYS . . . . AS IN DERIVED FROM, COPIED, PURLOINED, STOLEN.
ALL THIS CHOPPING OF MOTORCYCLES, HOPPING UP OF CARS, PLAYING OF ROCK AND ROLL AND BLUES, WEARING OF SPECIFIC CLOTHES, SPEAKING IN PARTICULAR TONGUES, GROWING BEARDS AND DOPE, ALL OF IT, NONE OF IT'S NEW, NONE OF IT'S ORIGINAL, NONE OF IT'S OURS, IT ALL BELONGED TO SOMEONE ELSE, WE'RE ALL WEARING HAND-ME-DOWNS IN THIS CAPER . . . . AND THAT'S WHY SOME PEOPLE'S POMPOSITY AND OUTTA WHACK EGOS REALLY GET UNDER MY FORESKIN, YOU DIDN'T INVENT THIS SHIT, YOU WEREN'T THE GROUND POINT ZERO, YOU'RE JUST ANOTHER SLIGHTLY TWEAKED FACSIMILE OF THE GENUINE ARTICLE, A PRETTY DECENT MIMIC AT BEST . . . . AND THAT'S OKAY, IT'S ALL GOOD, THIS 'THING' DESERVES TO LIVE ON, BE KEPT ALIVE AND VIBRANT BY THOSE WHO HAVE LOVED IT ALL THEIR LIVES, CONSTANTLY REBIRTHING AND METAMORPHOSING INTO THE NEXT VARIATION ON A TIME HONOURED THEME . . . . JUST STOP TRYING TO CLAIM OWNERSHIP OF SOMETHING THAT ISN'T YOURS TO OWN, YOU'RE JUST ANOTHER THIEF IN THE NIGHT OF HISTORY, ANOTHER SCENE STEALER, EVERYBODY'S DOING IT AND HAS BEEN FOREVER AND SEVERAL DAYS . . . . YOUR SHIT STINKS JUST AS BADLY AS THE REST OF US, IT'S JUST BEEN DRESSED UP IN FLANNEL, DICKIES AND VANS.
YET ANOTHER IN A LONG LIST OF THIS YEAR'S CASUALTIES . . . . A MAN WHO REALLY KNOWS HOW TO 'GO DOWN' . . . . THE UNICORN PRINCE, THE SPIRIT OF HALF-SACK, THE LADY HUMPIN, SPORTSTER PUMPIN ALLEN FROM "LADY HUMP" . . . . ZOMBIE STEFF JUST BROKE THE NEWS THAT BLOGLAND'S KING OF COMEDY HAS SPENT FESTIVUS IN HOSPITAL . . . . BUY HIS 2011 PHOTO ANNUAL NOW AT 'LADY HUMP'
TWICE IN ONE YEAR, WHEN IT COMES TO HOSPITAL VISITATIONS, THE LADY HUMPER IS LEADING FROM THE FRONT, HE SPENT MOST OF THE NORTHERN SUMMER GIMPING AROUND ON CRUTCHES AS HIS HENCHMAN LUCKY LUCIFER WAS RECUPERATING FROM A STINT IN THE QUACK WARD . . . . IS THE ENTIRE LADY HUMP ORGANISATION JINXED ??
AS ZOMBIE STEFF WROTE, SUPPORT THIS TWISTED UNIT BY PURCHASING SOME OF HIS COOL, FUNNY, PISSTAKING SHIT HERE http://ladyhump.blogspot.com.au/ RIGHT NOW, THIS DUDE KEEPS ENTERTAINMENT LIVE AND HAPPENING . . . . BESIDES, THE WAY 2012 HAS GONE FOR AL, IF HE DIDN'T HAVE BAD LUCK HE'D HAVE NO FUCKING LUCK AT ALL . . . . DO THE RIGHT THING, HELP OUT A BUSTED UP UNICORN BREEDER.
Wednesday, 26 December 2012
MY LITTLE STUDIO PROJECT, 'DEXTER PENDLETON'S TRAINWRECK', TWANGIN IT UP COUNTRY STYLE WITH THE SOON TO BE RELEASED INTERNATIONAL #1, "THE BALLAD OF WHITELINEPSYCHO" . . . . IT AIN'T NO BALLAD EITHER, JUST A UNIVERSAL TRUTH AT HIGH SPEED . . . . APPARENTLY THE INITIAL POST HAD A LINK FAILURE AS A COUPLE OF EMAILERS INFORMED ME . . . . CRANK IT UP LOUD AND KICKSTART IT !!!!
**** I'D BE REALLY STOKED IF YOU COULD LET ME KNOW IF THIS NEW LINK JIGGER DOESN'T WORK . . . . I'M A TOTAL FUCK-KNUCKLE WHEN IT COMES TO THIS SORTA SHIT, THANKS FOLKS, CHEERS.
Tuesday, 25 December 2012
T'WAS THE DAY BEFORE CHRISTMAS ON THE NORTHERN END OF THE COAST, THE SOCIAL ELITE WERE WATCHING 'ROOS ON THEIR GOLF COURSE AND EATING FRENCH TOAST . . . . IN THEIR GATED COMMUNITIES AS THEY DRINK AND THEY FEAST, THEY TAKE NATURE FOR GRANTED, WHILE THEY DESERVE IT THE LEAST . . . . MONEY'S NOT THE ROOT OF ALL EVIL, SHITLOADS OF FUCKERS WITH STACKS OF IT ARE THOUGH.
From the get go it started badly, my last call for Christmas eve was meeting a long term client at his palatial home at a high end 'gated community' at the northern end of the Coast to sort out a wine and food match for their Chrissy dinner wing ding, he's actually a cool old dude, self made squillionare, what you see is what you get, no airs and graces, no faux snob/wanker attitude, just some good old school class . . . . I'd gone on the Purple Penis to avoid getting fucked over by any one of several crawl zones in the local traffic grid, when I was getting buzzed through at the gatehouse/bunker the SS type guard dick was sceptical as to my veracity as I sat their talking into the intercom while he stared at the picture of the bloke with camo shorts, Death Machine '666' tee and grimy muleskinner boots on his monitor . . . . eventually letting me in after I answered all one hundred and fifty of his geniusly considered questions designed to show me up as the phony wine dude, violent, gun toting hardcore biker type I so clearly am, fucking dickheads with Security badges . . . . what's that shit about ???
So . . . . I've infiltrated the compound, putting along at the designated forty kph this fucking idiot woman comes running out in front of me, I mean 'in front of me', waving her fat, flabby arms like there's been some kind of scene, I come to a standstill and she's yelling some fucking gibberish at me which I can't decipher a single word of . . . . kill the motor and ask if she could go again, expecting to be asked inside for either a quick bit of the old 'rich widow in/out action' or, to pull the axe out of hubby's skull where he's lying in a pool of blood in the kitchen, no such luck with either sadly, turns out her beef was along the lines of 'do you have to make so much noise ????' . . . . I attempt to explain that in order for the motorcycle to make forward progress of its own volition the motor part of its structure must actually be operating and unfortunately I can't fix the noise level as the volume knob has fallen off, the look of complete bewilderment and horror on her trout-like face was enough to tell me she wasn't buying it in the least, I bad her a fond farewell as she kept nattering, wished her all due festive cheer to which she sneered lovingly into my eyes as I pointed the Noiseglide toward Graham's palace. The wine and food matching was sorted in a couple of minutes, he offered me a hundred bugs for my time and talent, which I graciously accepted, [fuck yeah], and I was back on the Penis Mosheen and headed for the gate.
On the ride back to Hitler Boy Security Trooper, there was a mob of roos grazing under some trees on the golf course that many of the residents play appallingly bad golf on, just down the street from the recent Flailer Bitch encounter, I pull over, cut the engine, grab the Galaxy XXII and pop some shots of the creatures, it's a tad incongruous really, roos in such an upmarket, sterile, urban setting, they were very accommodating actually, letting me get fairly close before they hopped off up the hill . . . . I turn around to walk back to the bike and there she is, Mrs Flabby Flailer, standing beside the scoot and staring daggers right at me, what the fuck, this could get ugly I suggest to only myself. Arriving within helmeted earshot, Mrs Flabby Flailer proceeds to inform me she has just spoken to Officer Genius at the Central Command Position and he is on his way to escort myself and the Purple Penis from the premises.
I thank the delightful Mrs Hitler for her manifold kindness, mount the Penis, start the donk, give it three of four decent handfuls of air and guzzaline, which I never do, pull rapidly away from the curb, flipping her the bird at the same time and proceed to the gate . . . . about one hundred or so metres from the exit point I spot Officer Super Sloth in the Hi-Po Security Golf Cart hurtling toward me, for a moment I think about giving him the same middle fingered show of love and warm wishes I had just shared with Nazi Woman but all I could do was laugh, uncontrollably, as he watched me go past him in the opposite direction with clearly no intention of stopping as he gestured in my direction . . . . Merry Christmas Graham, enjoy your neighbours, lovely people for sure.
Monday, 24 December 2012
JUST ANOTHER DUDE MAKING MERRY IN THE YULETIDE SPIRIT . . . . WISHING ALL THE PSYCHOTICS AND OCCASIONAL CONTRIBUTORS A SPLENDIDLY ENJOYABLE CHRISTMAS AND HOLIDAY PERIOD . . . . LOVEY, LARRY, OLLIE, NICKE, WES, VON HERR, LIQUOR STORE, SS70's, HERMIT, NOOT, RICH, THE DICEMEN, GUY, LADY UNICORN, MAX, THE FRENCH TWINS, ANCHORMAN ET AL . . . . SHARE THE LOVE, BE HAPPY, TRAVEL SAFE.
AND FOR MY FESTERING SEASON MUSICAL INTERLUDE SOMETHING THE GREASY GUY REMINDED ME OF THE OTHER DAY . . . . THOSE WELL KNOWN MASTERS OF THE SUEDEHEAD/BLUNT FRINGED/MULLET LOOK . . . . THE ENDEARINGLY ENDURING, SLADE . . . . C'MON FEEL THE TOYS !!!!
DEXTER PENDLETON'S TRAINWRECK - "THE BALLAD OF WHITELINEPSYCHO" . . . . AN ODE TO HUSTLING YOUR ARSE BACK HOME . . . . RUNNING AGAINST THE CLOCK, THE ROAD, THE WEATHER AND THE COPS WITH THE EVER PRESENT RADAR GUN . . . . THOUGHTS OF WANTON LUST ON THE HIGHWAY OF LIFE, WHERE SKETCHY MENTAL IMAGES OF YOUR MAIN SQUEEZE ARE ALL THAT KEEPS THE MILES WINDING DOWN.
SOME FULLY TWANGIN COUNTRY ROCK GOODNESS FOR ALL THOSE TRAVELING ON TWO WHEELS THIS FESTERING SEASON . . . . GET THERE QUICK AND GET THERE SAFE . . . . LOVE ON KIDDIES.
***** PLUG IN THE HEADPHONES AND JAM YOUR HOOF ON THE LONG PEDAL FOR BEST RESULTS.
DEXTER PENDLETON'S TRAINWRECK IS - WHITELINEPSYCHO, VOCALS . . . TEZ, BASS GUIT/BACKING VOX . . . BUTLER, DRUMS/GUITARS
***** PLUG IN THE HEADPHONES AND JAM YOUR HOOF ON THE LONG PEDAL FOR BEST RESULTS.
DEXTER PENDLETON'S TRAINWRECK IS - WHITELINEPSYCHO, VOCALS . . . TEZ, BASS GUIT/BACKING VOX . . . BUTLER, DRUMS/GUITARS
Sunday, 23 December 2012
HELLO CHILDREN, HAVE YOU ALL BEEN GOOD LITTLE BOYS AND GIRLS DURING THE YEAR . . . . HAVE YOU STOOD ON THE CAT'S TAIL, DID YOU PULL THE WINGS OFF A BUTTERFLY, HAVE YOU POURED KEROSENE ON A CANE TOAD AND THEN DROPPED A MATCH ON IT . . . . AND DID YOU LIE TO YOUR PARENTS AT EVERY POSSIBLE OPPORTUNITY . . . . SANTA CLAUS IS COMING TO TOWN, YOU EVIL LITTLE FUCKER !!!!
JUST TWO MORE SLEEPS UNTIL THAT JOLLY OLD FAT MAN WITH CHRONIC HALITOSIS, A HISTORY OF BREAK AND ENTER, BURGLARY AND BOTHERING REINDEER, ENTERS YOUR HOME AND RUINS YOUR LIFE FOR THE NEXT WEEK . . . . HO, HO, FUCKING HO !!!
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