Saturday 4 February 2012

MOTHERFUCKING FURRY FACES AND THE JEALOUSY PHOBIA . . . FOR ALL OF YOU FACIALLY HIRSUTE AMONG US - THIRTY YEARS AND NOTHIN ! | Flickr - Photo Sharing!

WHILE YOU'RE ALL OUT THERE GETTING YOUR 'LOVE CYCLE' WELL AND TRULY OILED, SPARE A THOUGHT FOR THOSE OF US WHO SO DESPERATELY WANT TO COVER OUR FACES WITH TOILET BRUSH LEVELS OF FACIAL FUZZ BUT DUE TO GENETIC CIRCUMSTANCES BEYOND OUR FOLLICULAR CONTROL, WE ARE LEFT BALD AS A FUCKING BADGER AND FOREVER DEMEANED AS BEING NOT WORTHY OF THE TERM 'MANHOOD' . . . .

I've been trying since Historic Bike Racing weekend at Lakeside in 1990 to sprout some sort of S.R.V like under lip growth kinda thing . . . and now, twenty years down the track, what do I got to show for the dedication, the hard yards, withstanding the constant ridicule and withering remarks ???? Sweet fuck all, that's what I've got folks . . . nada, zip, diddly, zilch, zero . . . not a fucking thing . . . some guys can and others, despite our best and most zealous attempts, simply can't do the hairy face caper, and in the Brotherhood of Hairy Bastards, that ain't cool at all !!!!

I'd give my left testicle to be able to sprout hair on my face like a semi domesticated gorilla, to be able to have a shit and always know there is NO chance of coming away with a dag free freckle, to buy a bottle of shampoo to cater only for my body's hirsute hairsuit, to have the thrill of shaving at age three and all the other manifest pleasures that only a fully hairy man can appreciate . . .

However, frankly, I'd rather be as follicularly challenged as I am than have to cope with the results of a gene pool fuck up that requires me to shave every half hour, install an extraction fan in my shorts to evacuate the crack gas stench and find myself being shot at because someone mistook me for a "motherfuckin bigfoot" at a family picnic . . .

AS much as I would love to have a serious beard or even butt-fur, overall, with the benefit of male insight and intuition . . . . I'll be completely satisfied being bald as a fish's snatch . . . . anyone for deodorant ??????

**** FORGET ALL THAT SHIT, CAST YOUR EYES ON THE LINK BELOW THIS LINE . . . JESUS !!! GOOD BEARD . . . EXCEPTIONALLY PROMINENT, 44 MAG SLUG LIKE NIPPLES . . . . TOO MUCH CHICKEN PERHAPS OR NOT ENOUGH COCK ???? SHIT, DID I JUST WRITE THAT . . . ?????
Outstanding beard Flickr - Photo Sharing!

TO ALL MY GORRILLA LIKE MATES AND FRIENDS WHO MAY TAKE OFFENCE ABOUT THIS POST . . . . . . . . . . . HARDEN UP MOTHERFUCKERS . . . . . LOVE YOUSE ALL !!!!! XXXXX

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