PUT TOGETHER WITH NOTHING MORE THAN A FEW TWIGS, A BIT OF SNOT AND SOME BAILING WIRE . . . . A TESTAMENT TO A DERBY LAD'S PERSISTENCE, DEDICATION AND COMPLETE AND UTTER LUNACY, A SAGA SO SORDIDLY SHAMEFUL THAT IT CAN ONLY BE TOLD NOW . . . . TO PROTECT THE GUILTY, SACRIFICES HAD TO BE MADE, AND SANITY WAS THE FIRST VICTIM, BLOODLUST FOLLOWED IN THE WAKE . . . . BAKING TRAYS WERE DEFILED, NAKED ALLOY WAS TURNED, TEA WAS MADE, AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN, LEATHERS WERE MOISTENED IN THOSE AREAS THAT DEMAND SUCH RITUALS AND FINALLY . . . . VANS BELONGING TO THE LEBANESE PEOPLES FRONT WERE RENTED TO UNDERTAKE THE PERILOUS JOURNEY TO THE NORTH, TO THE PLACE WHERE THE PRECIOUS 'GUZZALINE' WOULD PROPELL TEAM LOVELESS TO NEAR VICTORY.
SERIOUSLY THOUGH, LOVEY, WITH HELP FROM THE LURKER IN THE SHADOWS OF THE TEAM LOVELESS MOBILE R+D CENTRE, HAVE MANAGED TO SNATCH DEFEAT FROM THE JAWS OF VICTORY AND THEN ORCHESTRATE A COMPLETE REVERSAL OF FORTUNE AND TAKE THE UPPER HAND ON WHAT WILL BE A VICTORY MOST PROUD . . . . MEIN FUHRER, I CAN RACE !!!!
achtung! achtung! whitey, i am not worthy! we are just a couple of old bastards fucking about in a shed, drinking tea, swearing and generally causing mayhem in the quiet derbyshire village where we live, they fucking hate us, the womens institute and their golf playing husbands, fuck 'em! dangerous, get another wickerman made and let's burn it, pass me the petroleum and a zippo, 'top of the world ma, top of the world!!!!'
ReplyDeleteI love it when you come over all frothy and loopy like . . .'top of the world Ma, top of the world !!!', a bald headed Derbyshire lad with a Cagney complex, hilarious mate, scrape Danger Boy off the ceiling.
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