Friday 29 June 2012

"ZOMBIE BOY - RICK GENEST" . . . . ALRIGHT, SO THE ENTIRE WORLD NOW KNOWS WHO ZOMBIE BOY IS CARE OF LADY GAGA . . . . I RECKON THIS IS A SUPER COOL PIECE OF FILM WORK . . . . SIMPLE AS THAT, NO MORE, NO LESS . . . . ENJOY.

"YANG YANG MAIDEN VOYAGE" [BY 'CROBACON' ON POOTUBE] . . . . WITH ONLY TWO DAYS TILL BF4 THE CRO TITILATES US WITH A TANTALISING TEASE OF HIS 'YANG YANG' MOSHEEN . . . . FROM WHAT I CAN SEE HERE, IT'S SIMPLY OUTSTANDING !!!!

Caleb 'Cro' Owens is one of my most admired builders of cooler than cool, made to ride, keep it clean custom bikes, and like all the other mega talented dudes on the invited builders list for BF4, he's been slaving away to get the near legendary 'Yang Yang' shovel completed for the big gig . . . . well, looks as though he's done gone and done it, buttoned and bolted, ready to roll.

The shit that always blows my mind with his bikes is the mad attention to micro detail and the absolute focus on 'rideability', its gotta look good but, above that, the thing has to function as a bike designed to be ridden and ridden hard . . . . 'Yang Yang' is clearly a step away from his previous catalogue of dope delights in style, a deliberate attempt to push himself into unchartered waters and out of his own comfort zone, that in itself takes hardcore commitment.

The result is yet again another awesomely sweet ride in a street tracker mould, the sucker is all about business, purpose and function melded into one seamless unit, so many killer one-off components and unique tweaks and twists . . . . motor, trans, frame, bars, pipes, paint, you name it, it's been fondled, fabbed, made and massaged, the very defintion of legit custom building, so together is this jigger it looks like it could've rolled out of the factory just as it is, there just ain't any way that the MoCo design team could ever have come up with something so fucking cool !!!



THING IS, CRO, AND THE BEWDIFUL 'YANG YANG', IS JUST ONE OF THE INSANELY GIFTED CREW OF INVITEES WHO HAVE BEEN FLOGGING THEMSELVES INTO MENTAL MELTDOWN TERRITORY IN THE PURSUIT OF BF4 GLORY AND RECOGNITION, AND FOR ALL THOSE LUCKY BASTARDS ATTENDING THE TWO WHEELED EYE CANDY FEST WILL BE EXTRAORDINARY . . . . TO ALL THE BUILDERS, THE VERY BEST OF LUCK IN COMPLETING YOUR LABOURS OF LOVE THAT SO MANY OF US HAVE BEEN FOLLOWING WITH HUGE INTEREST AND INTRIGUE, I'M JUST GLAD IT'S NOT ME WHO HAS TO CHOOSE THE ULTIMATE WINNER. 

Thursday 28 June 2012

DR DRE "LET ME RIDE" . . . . JASON WEBBER AND MARK CHOINIERE HAVE PRODUCED A WICKED FUNNY VIDEO THAT IS NOW OBVIOUSLY GOING FERAL, IT'S BLOODY BRILLIANT . . . . I COULDN'T RESIST THE URGE TO POST THE DR DRE EPIC ANY LONGER . . . . YA CAN'T FORGET ABOUT DRE !!!!

YES INDEED, JASON WEBBER FROM 'ATR' IS CLEARLY ONE CRACK UP DUDE, IN CAHOOTS WITH THE PHABULOUS PHOTOGRAPHY OF MARK CHOINIERE AND THE TIMELESS TONES OF DR DRE'S 'LET ME RIDE', THIS ONE AND A HALF MINUTE MINI EPIC IS SO FUNNY I HAD TO CHANGE MY SHORTS . . . . IF I KNEW HOW TO POST STUFF FROM VIMEO I'D DO IT, MORE IMPORTANTLY, TAKE THE HINT AND GET YOURSELF TO BF4 THIS WEEKEND, THE ALL TIME CUSTOM BIKE DO, MR WEBBER MIGHT EVEN SIGN YOUR GLOCK . . . .

"THE CHRONIC", WHAT CAN YOU SAY . . . . LANDMARK, EPIC, CLASSIC, 'HOOD RAP MEGA STAR, MOTHERFUCKIN 'A', IT WAS THE LEGIT SHIT . . . . HIS FIRST SOLO DISC AFTER THE BUNFIGHT THAT NWA BECAME, THE DEFINING SOUND OF GANGSTA RAP STYLE, CHOCK FULL OF GROOVES AND SAMPLES THAT PAVED THE WAY FOR THE NEXT GENERATION AND BEYOND.

THE SONG 'LET ME RIDE' STILL SHINES JUST AS BRIGHTLY NOW AS THEN, AROUND THREE DIFFERENT CLASSICS AS SAMPLES, A KILLER GROOVE FROM THE GET GO AND A VOCAL STYLE THAT FLOWS F'REAL . . . . HUGE CLIP TO GO ALONG WITH IT THAT INCLUDES SOME COOL CAMEO ACTION THROUGHOUT . . .  I DON'T CARE WHAT SHIT YOU'RE INTO AS A RULE BUT IF YOU DON'T GET THIS THEN YOU MAY WELL BE REQUIRING SOME MEDICAL ASSISTANCE.

Wednesday 27 June 2012

VINTAGE TRUMPY CHOPPER WHEELIE FAIL/SIDE SADDLE SAVE . . . . AND OTHER ASSORTED ACTION FROM THE WOEFULLY TRAGIC FILM, "COSY COOL" . . . . CURRENT AUSSIE HARD ROCKERS, 'THE DEVIL RIDES OUT' KICKIN ALONG WITH "BROKEN WHITE LINES"

A really happenin clip from one of the worst films ever made, the 1978, West Australian produced, "Cosy Cool", arguably the best bits of the entire stinky chunderfest that it was, no story, no plot, no acting, no direction, not a thing to recommend it whatsoever . . . . other than the completely hilarious scene in this post where the Trumpy rider gets way out of shape on the streets of Oz back in the day but manages to partially redeem himself in dignity destroying style . . . .

Current era W.A hard rockers, The Devil Rides Out, have utilised the footage from this eminantly forgettable celluloid can of worms to showcase what is a pretty cool tune by the name of "Broken White Lines" . . . . the lads from the West have worked with Fu Manchu, QOTSA and other big name touring acts, if you get a chance, check em out, they go hard . . . . which is a lot more than can be said for "Cosy Cool".



***** I obviously came across this while being nauseated by 'The Devils Ride' research, I last saw the "Cosy Cool" fiasco in the early, early eighties on hire from the local video store, I can't imagine it has gotten any batter with the passing of time . . . . avoid it at all costs, truly fucking bad,

Tuesday 26 June 2012

"LINKERT ATTACKS - UK 2011" [BY 'SCURVYDIRTYDOG' ON POOTUBE] . . . . THE RUFFIANS RIDE OUT FROM LAST YEARS LINKERTPALOOZA FEST IN THE U.K . . . . THIS WEEKEND'S GIG IS IN JARS IN LE FRANCAIS . . . . AND THERE'S A HELLISHLY HUGE HARLEY HAREM HURTLING HEADLONG TOWARD THE SITE . . . . BEWARE - ANGRY LINKERTS !!!!

Meanwhile, on the other side of the Atlantic, a bunch of lunatic lovers of Linkert equipped American motorcycles are braving the downpours of the European summer to assemble en masse, tell lies, drink beer, fart, fall over, laugh, tell more lies and drink more beer at what is bound to be a mighty and dangerous occasion . . . . much time is spent avoiding the demonic like flocks of killer carbies as they hover, swoop upon, then attack, the defenceless hordes of enthusiastic rider/drinkers as they attempt to enjoy the gathering of the clans . . . . the savagery of the generally harmless and often uesless cast carbs has to be seen to be believed, many a man has been reduced to a quaking, sobbing shell at this event.

Seriously though, the Linkert layover is seemingly all about good times, camararderie, story telling and sharing the love for all that is the venerable Linkert/American V-Twin relationship, there isn't a huge number of chops as such but there is always a shitload of classic Hogglies that are always ridden great distances to and from the event and their besotted owner/rider/drinker's . . . . as we know, the weather forecast, as just posted on Dice's blog is for oodles of perfectly beautiful riding conditions, varying from rain to heavy rain, so for those relishing the delights of a warm, welcoming California sun at BF4 this weekend, spare a thought for the Euro/U.K crowd as they swim their trusty steeds through swollen rivers and flocks of psychotic, killer carbies . . . . go get em guys !!!!

"ZOMBIE PERFORMANCE : STAINLESS WTF AND CHUPACABRAS" . . . . I'M PRETTY RETARDED WHEN IT COMES TO MAKING DECISIONS SOMETIMES . . . . WASN'T SURE WHICH BARS I WANTED FOR THE SHOVELLER . . . . SO I SAVED LONGER, DRANK LESS AND BOUGHT TWO . . . . STEFFAN AT ZOMBIE PERFORMANCE RULES !!!!!

I'VE BEEN FUCKING AROUND FOREVER, WELL, SINCE LATE LAST YEAR, TRYIN TO DECIDE WHAT BEND/STYLE OF 'BAR I'M GOING TO RUN WITH ON PROJECT SHOVELLER, BUT TRY AS I MIGHT, THE FINAL DECISION KEPT ON ELUDING ME . . . . FINALLY, I NARROWED IT DOWN TO TWO OPTIONS BUT COULDN'T BREAK IT DOWN TO ONE CLEAR WINNER, SO I SIMPLY SAID 'SCREW IT', I'LL SAVE A BIT MORE, FOREGO SOME BOOZE DRINKIN AND GET BOTH !!!

I decided I was gonna go with Steffan's kit from Zombie Performance after some deliberation, there is a group of really talented dudes out there making brilliant handlebars but ultimately I fell under the Zombie trance . . . . I ordered a set of the 8" WTF's and one of the 6" Chupacabra, both in 1" stainless with a light brushed finish, Steff was easy as to deal with and he set to work, a couple of days later, job was done, shipping details taken care of and they were on their way, easy peasy !!!

They turned up on the doorstep yesterday and are both fucking A1 excellent, even, balanced, oozing 'hand made', showing superb welding skills, that glorious lustre that only stainless can impart and narrow enough to safely split lanes all day long . . . . once again I'm stoked with the service, the product and the dude behind it all back in the States, thanks a bundle Steffan, you've done yourself proud, now it's just a matter of getting the narrowglide front end onto the '74 FXE and seeing which ones I like the most, that could prove more difficult than the pre purchase dilemma . . . .

***** CLICK ON THE LINK BELOW TO CHECK OUT THE ACTUAL 'BARS AS SNAPPED BY STEFFAN AFTER FABRICATION . . . . PRETTY BLOODY COOL I RECKON !!!!

ZOMBIE PERFORMANCE: Stainless bars!: Some Stainless Wtf Bars and Stainless Chupacabra Bars! Sent from my Samsung Epic™ 4G

"FTWCO AND C.O.C AT 'LOVE THY CHOPPER' 2011" [BY 'BRADINDSM' ON POOTUBE] . . . . MY MELONCHOLIC MOOD HAS DISSIPATED DRAMATICALLY . . . . TO BE REPLACED BY THE ANTICIPATION OF THE IMMINENT FLOOD OF DOCUMENTATION FROM BF4 OVER THE NEXT - YEAR OR SO . . . . THIS IS JUST A TASTE OF THE IMPENDING 'LOVE THY CHOPPER' SHINDIG.

It's the season where all those Northern Hemisphere dwellers are inundated with a kaleidoscopically ball tearing array of bike and kustom kulture related events, from Europe and the U.K across to the spiritual Mecca of the whole shebang, the West Coast of the U.S of A and all points in between . . . . another gig that's always looked the goods from magazine articles, blog biz and PooTube footage is "Love Thy Chopper", a mile up in the mountain air in Denver, Colorado, now heading into its sixth incarnation and put together by another bunch of chopper nutters who want to share the love.

This tidy bit of video footage captures some well known faces on the road to last year's event at some degree of speed, [check the instrument shots and spontaneous roadside action], a groovy perve on the event itself, bikes, crew, beards, bumcrack action, porta-loos and a fucking arse kicking soundtrack courtesy of 'The Dicks' . . . . again, if I was living in the States this would be another 'must do' gig, in a long line of 'must do' shindigs that blaze like wildfire across the land of the chopped all through the northern summer of peace. love and understanding. So, start prepping for the journey and if you're doing the marathon, can't get enough, keep on rollin double act from BF4, take it easy, but take it, shiny side up.

Monday 25 June 2012

FOSTER THE PEOPLE "CALL IT WHAT YOU WANT" . . . . MY DARLING DAUGHTER DIGS THIS TUNE AND SO DOES HER DOPEY OLD DAD . . . . PERFECT POP PLAYED PERFECTLY . . . . ARE YOU GAY ?? NO . . . . BUT NOT THAT IT SHOULD MATTER A FUCK IF I AM . . . . IN MY WORLD OF COOL BIKES, TOUGH CARS, DORKS, GEEKS, HARD MEN, PRETTY GIRLS, DIRTY ROCK & ROLL, SKATEBOARDS, FUNK, SOUL AND TAMIYA MILITARY MODELS . . . . EVERYBODY GETS A LOOK IN !!!!

CALL IT WHAT YOU WANT PEOPLE, I CALL IT 'LIFE'S RICH MOTHERFUCKIN PAGEANT' CAUSE THAT'S JUST WHAT IT IS . . . . SO MUCH BEAUTIFUL, WONDERFUL, GLORIOUS SHIT OUT THERE TO TAKE IN ON A DAILY BASIS . . . . HANG ON A COTTON PICKIN MINUTE BUDDY, YOU CAN'T SERIOUSLY SAY THAT SHIT AND BE INTO CHOPS AND RODS AND BOOZE AND ROCK AND ROLL . . . . YOU SURE YOU'RE NOT A FAG ???  SAY WHAT MOTHERFUCKER . . . . ???? HAS HAPPINESS BECOME UNCOOL ????



From the upside down piano line to the instantly memorable melody/hook/chorus line this modern day life saga totally rules, I mean completely, killer herpes like infectious grooves, uplifting, happy and delightful all at once, this song drew me closer to my daughter than any other tune has managed to achieve . . . . 'pop' shouldn't be a dirty word, 'popular' ain't a bad thing, it's just when it gets dumbed down to dull as piss level that the sellout syndrome starts to bite you on the arse, if something sounds or looks good, it just might be that it is . . . . will admitting in public, that some tune sung by a bunch of girly-boys gives you the twist, make you less of a man at Chopper Club meetings . . . . I suppose it might, you can't possibly expect to like something outside your little box and not get shitcanned, I mean, fuck, that makes so much cocksmoking sense . . . . the professionally butch shall inherit sweet fuck all.

Sunday 24 June 2012

"ANCHOR MOTORSICKLE" JUST POSTED A CRACKER WEEKLY TOP FIVE . . . . DROVE ME TO GO IN SEARCH OF ONE SONG THAT WAS A WATERMARK FOR THE LATE '80's AND EARLY 90's FOR ME . . . . DRAMARAMA WITH "ANYTHING, ANYTHING".

THERE WAS SUCH A TANGIBLE SENSE OF DESPERATION OOZING FROM THIS INTENSE THREE MINUTE BLAST, MAYBE IT ENCAPSULATED WHERE MY LIFE WAS HEADING TO, AND HOW IT ENDED UP BACK THEN . . . . JUST A FEW NANO RECOLLECTIONS . . . . JULES, T140, WINE, DRUGS, LIVER FAILURE, QUIT THE BAND, FAIL ENTRY TO JAPAN, LONLINESS, 18 MONTHS BOOZE AND DRUG FREE, SEPERATION FROM ALL I'D KNOWN, NEW FRIENDS, DUD FRIENDS, HEAD CHECK, SELF ANALYSIS . . . . DESPERATE TIMES, DIFFERENT MEASURES AND ONE STAND ALONE, FUCKING EXCELLENT SONG . . . . THANKS FOR THE REMINDER ANCHOR MAN . . . . DIG YOUR WORK !!!!

"BORN-FREE 3 SHOW PT 1" [ILUVSA66 ON POOTUBE] . . . . A BLOKE, A CAMERA AND A BIKE SHOW . . . . LESS THAN A WEEK TO GO TIL BF4 AND THE SENSE OF LONGING AND YEARNING ONLY GETS MORE INTENSE . . . . NOTHIN MORE TO BE DONE ABOUT THIS YEAR . . . . JUST HOPE LIKE HELL IT AIN'T THE LAST.

Just another overview of the swarms of bikes that fronted to last year's gig, shot without any tricks or post-production bullshit, no pounding soundtrack, nothin more than the bikes and the vibe of the crowd in the background . . . . great spread of the assembled massed ranks of two wheeled Kampf Kruisers, closeups of details, wide angle shots, really capturing the intensity of what it must be like in the flesh, well, as much as you can on film without 'being there'.

The thing that once again comes to the fore in this bit of footage is the key element about the Born-Free philosophy, it's about the bikes and the stylistic influences of days gone by, 'classic', 'period', call it what you like . . . . the absolute and complete absence of big dollar gumby machines that have proliferated in the last decade and a half are, thankfully, fucking nowhere to be seen, it's all about the hardcore passion and erection inducing love of all things hardcore and real . . . . not a single OCC or Big Bear lollipop tractor to be seen and that in itself is a bloody beautiful thang !!!!



I haven't felt this gutted about missing out on a 'gig' in my entire adult life, it's a strange emotional experience inside my head, the closer it gets, the more I want to check out stuff from the previous shows, the more I do that, the more the sense of 'loss' sets in . . . . hmmmm . . . . all I can do is wait once again for the photos and vids from what will be a specfuckingtacular BF4 to hit the interblog and webnet scene and live vicariously for yet another year while hoping like hell that the founders and the sponsors recieve the response from the punters to vindicate doin it all again next year, where hopefully, BF5 will be the one that I actually get to . . . .

Saturday 23 June 2012

THE SONICS "PSYCHO" . . . . TO THIS DAY, THE PRIMO DEFINITION OF A GARAGE BAND . . . . RAW, RAUCOUS AND RIPPIN IT UP RIGHTEOUSLY . . . . PIONEERING WASHINGTON STATE WHITE BOYS . . . . PUSH THE LOUD PEDAL INTO THE FLOORBOARDS !!!!

UNTIL THE EARLY EIGHTIES, I'D ALWAYS THOUGHT THIS WAS SUNG BY 'SCREAMING JAY HAWKINS', HAD NO FUCKING IDEA THAT IT WAS SOME GEEKY WHITEBOY FROM TACOMA, WASHINGTON . . . . THE GUYS LITERALLY INVENTED THE PROTOTYPE FOR WHAT WAS TO BE CALLED THE 'GARAGE SOUND', PRIMITIVE, BASIC, GRAUNCHING AND CRINDING, THE BAND'S EARLY STUFF WAS SONICALLY TWISTED WAY BEYOND THE NORM FOR THE TIME . . . .  

1965's "PSYCHO" IS THE EPITOME OF EVERYTHING THE SQUARES DIDN'T WANT LI'L JOHNNY AND JANEY TO BE INVOLVED WITH, JUST THE TITLE ALONE WOULD'VE BEEN ENOUGH TO SEAL MUM'S BEAVER FOR LIFE . . . . THE SONIC'S VERSION OF 'HAVE LOVE, WILL TRAVEL' IS AMONG A DANGEROUSLY DECENT CATALOGUE OF RIOTOUSLY ROWDY RECORDINGS THAT WOULD BE INFLUENTIAL ON CREW AS DIVERSE AS 'THE MC5' TO 'THE BLACK KEYS' . . . . FILE UNDER 'F' FOR "FUCKING WILD" !!!!

Friday 22 June 2012

THE BEATLES "TICKET TO RIDE" TOTP 1965 . . . . I'VE ALWAYS BEEN THE 'STONES TYPE' AS OPPOSED TO THE FAB FOUR FAN . . . . THIS IS ONE OF A HANDFULL OF THE MERSEY LADS TUNES THAT HAS BEEN A PERSONAL FAVE FOREVER . . . . I LOVE THE MIX OF MAUDLIN AND UPBEAT, THE SORROW AND THE SWEETNESS . . . . PLUS, LENNON WAS ALWAYS EDGY AND DARK . . . . DARK IS GOOD.

Fifty one tomorrow, all I wanna do is get the fuck out of town and avoid what mates have got planned, swag is packed, fresh oil in the Purple Penis, time to hit the frog and toad . . . . two hours of solitude and introspection on the scoot, hook up with one of my nearest and dearest and his missus, up to their mountain retreat . . . . good folk, good vino, good memories, good times . . . . adios.

Thursday 21 June 2012

YET ANOTHER FINE PIECE OF UNIT CONSTRUCTION EXCELLENCE FROM THE MILWAUKEE MOB . . . . THE FIRST OF THE LINE THAT WOULD ULTIMATELY TRANSMOGRIFY INTO THE SPORTSTER . . . . A WAY COOL, ORIGINAL SPEC, 1952 K MODEL ON THE RUN, BY "BARNTIQUE" ON POOTUBE.

I'm havin a ball skatin all over the PooTubieverse scrounging for good footage of some of the early incarnations of the K series hoglets, the little flatheads that could, and did, redefine the line of bikes coming from the land of the Bar and Shield . . . . and it doesn't come any earlier than the first model to be released back in 1952, the cornerstone on which a legend would be built, leading to the '57 XL Sportster, the longest running production model in the entire Hoggly range, I think, correct me if I'm wrong, by all means.

I'll agree that aesthetically they ain't everyone's cup of fifty weight, they have the slightly dorky look of an attempt to scale down the visual appeal of the big twins and not quite getting it totally right, the appearance was not as sharp as the Trumpy parallel twins especially, [but not much ever has been] against which it was competing . . . . still, they certainly had a character all of their own and one that kinda grows on you the older you get and when you see so many that have been fucked over in halfarsed chopper clown guise, the stock bikes start lookin even better, sorta cute fugly.



The bitchin black bomber featured in this video from 'Barntique' looks to be in not only brilliant visual nick, but moreover, judging by the hushed and restrained 'chuff-chuffing' of the baby flatthead, the mechanical side of things seem tight as a well tuned drum . . . . shoot, what's not to like ??? Yep, I'd only too happily have one of these parked in my garage without a second thought, I could be just like Mr Depp . . . . well, at least Hatchetface. 

SHOVELHEAD FINNED ROCKER COVERS FROM JOSH AT THROWBACK . . . . UNBELIEVABLE, THEY ARRIVED IN THEIR LITTLE TRAVEL BOX YESTERDAY . . . . BROKE TWO FINGERNAILS TEARING THE FREAKIN THING OPEN . . . . COMPLETELY FUCKING MINDBLOWING IN EVERY WAY, I'M GOING TO SLEEP WITH THEM I THINK . . . .

MY GUT INSTICNT WAS RIGHT ON, THE ROCKER COVERS I'VE BEEN RAVING ABOUT FOR THE LAST FOUR MONTHS ARE EVERYTHING I HOPED FOR AND THEN SOME, PURE CLASS ALL THE WAY . . . . FORM DEFINITELY FOLLOWS FUNCTION HERE !!! I'D REQUESTED THE TUMBLED FINISH FROM JOSH AND THEY LOOK THE ABSOLUTE DUCK'S NUTS . . . . THAT MAGNESIUM LOOK ROCKS MY WORLD !!!

MR FRAZZITA'S ATTENTION TO DETAIL IS AMAZING, THE CASTINGS THEMSELVES ARE IMPECCABLE, NONE OF THAT POROUS, POCK MARKED BOG ALLOY METAL WITH THIS STUFF, DENSE, HEAVYWEIGHT QUALITY THROUGH AND THROUGH, ALL THE MILLING AND MACHINED SURFACES ARE 5 STAR QUALITY IN FINISH, I RAN THE OLD STRAIGHT EDGE OVER THE FACES AND THEY ARE DEAD TRUE, THE HAND RELEIVED WORK ON THE FINS OF THE FRONT ONE TO ACCOMODATE THE FRAME'S BACKBONE IS SIMILARLY BRILLIANT . . . .

I KNOW THAT A LOT OF EMPHASIS ON A BIKE IS PLACED ON THE TANK AS THE JEWEL IN THE CROWN BUT FOR ME THE HEART OF THE THING IS THE MOTOR AND THESE THINGS WILL BE THE CROWNING GLORY ON PROJECT SHOVELLER FOR SURE . . . . ALL I CAN SAY IS THAT IF THE CLASSIC, TIMELESS APPEAL OF FINNED PERFORMANCE PARTS SHAKES YOUR TREE THEN GIVE JOSH AT "THROWBACK M.C PARTS" A CALL OR SHOOT HIM AN EMAIL, HIS STUFF AIN'T CHEAP BUT IT'S WORTH EVERY CENT AND IS FUCKING IMMACULATE . . . . IT REEKS OF QUALITY AND THE HUMAN HAND AND HEART, 100% ASTOUNDING !!!!

THANKS HEAPS FOR YOUR EFFORTS JOSH, SUPER APPRECIATED AND I LOVE YOUR WORK, BEST OT LUCK FOR THE FUTURE MATE, YOU DESERVE EVERY SUCCESS !!!

Wednesday 20 June 2012

IAN HUNTER - "ONCE BITTEN, TWICE SHY" FEATURING MICK RONSON 1975 . . . . FLATOUT ONE OF MY FAVE EVER TUNES, CLEVER TREVOR LYRICS, LOTS OF LAYERS . . . . AND ONE TIME BOWIE ACCOMPLICE, MICK RONSON, SCREAMING AWAY ON THE NOISECASTER . . . . GET THIS ONE ACROSS YOUR STATE LINE !!!!

1975, all the young dudes were becoming a tad cynical, punk was just around the corner and the glam thing was running out of sequins . . . . Quo, Slade, BTO, Bad Co were going great guns, Dark Side of the Moon was all over the charts, 10cc were feigning not to be in love and David Essex was gonna make us a star, arh ahh . . . . I'm just blithering, been to a winemakers lunch, back home and feeling nicely pissed . . . . this fuck off ditty from Ian Hunter, ex Mott the Hoople, had me from 'ello, the way it builds, the story he tells in that Cockney drawl, not to mention Ronson, one of the most overlooked axemen in rock history, cranking away . . . . fucking magnificent !!!!

There's a Bowie connection to this as well, he wrote it, or farted in the studio after doing 15kg of nose candy or somesuch . . . . I give up, you do the research, I'm not giving away all the UFI [Useless Fucking Information] it's taken me a lifetime of madness and passion to accumulate for nothing every time I put finger to keyboard . . . . play the bloody song for God's sake and then bugger off, I'm off to the pub to continue drinking . . . . later.

"1968 XLCH - ORIGINAL - START UP" [BY 'EPPERSOD1 ON POOTUBE] . . . . YOU CAN STICK THIS UNDER 'SPORTSTERS RULE', ESPECIALLY THE CLASSIC LITHE, LEAN AND 'SPORTY' ONES . . . . THESE DARLING WEE THINGS MAKE MY 2010 MODEL LOOK AND FEEL LIKE A BLOATED BLOODY BUFFALO . . . . 'CALIFORNIA HOT' - WHO KNOWS, WHO CARES BUT IT'S FERKIN SPORTYLICIOUS IN 'HUMPSPEAK'*

I've been reading Harry Sucher's late eighties edition of the Harley story again, unauthorised because the Motor Company were more tightlipped than the KGB and just as zealous in enforcing the 'no talk' policy . . . . I've been focusing on the development and production of the Skirtster species, all this research activity was initially prompted by continually being entranced with a couple of Noot's scoots I've been lusting over recently.

I went trawling for some footage and have come up with some real gold as far as bog stock examples go, we always see em in varying degrees of chopper chic, which I love, but not that often in unmolested/restored original condition . . . . you gotta remember that the raison d'etre behind the lauch of the baby vee twin was to compete with and halt the onslaught of post war Pommy parallel twins and big singles that were kicking American butt in competition events at the time on tracks all across the U.S . . . .

The answer had to be light, potent and posessed of a righthand gear shift, as the Brits had, to lure the riders away from the likes of Triumph, BSA, Norton and the other U.K based manufacturers that were responsible for this bottom kicking behaviour . . . . the flathead K series was the initial model, albeit not officially designated 'Sportster', which was then follwed by the overhead valve model XL which has subsequently gone on to justified legend status.

This fucking neato example of the '68 XLCH illustrates just how lean, stripped and ready for business they were in their showroom fitout, super tight through the waist, the thin barrels on the motor, the 'narrow glide' front end, alloy rims, bars meant for total control . . . . these babies were designed for speed, not just trundling along the freeways, they went on to fame and fortune on flat track scene and their distant progeny are still tearing it up today . . . .

Tragically however, the essence of the term 'Sportster' seems to have been lost as far as the factory goes, even the raciest of the Sporty family these days weighs in at a half ton or so, my 2010 XLX must surely equate to a medium sized tank . . . . yep, yep, yep . . . . 'Sportster' by name only it appears these days.

All you lucky enough to be the custodians of ridgy didge models like the one in the vid, love them, cherish them, draw them near to the hearth, they are deserving of your attentions and our admiration.

"1963 SHELBY 'COBRA DRAGON' SNAKE DRAG CAR" [FROM 'BUGGATTIBOY32' ON POOTUBE] . . . . FUUUUUCK !!! HOW KILLER GORGEOUS IS THIS ??? ONLY EVER SEEN ONE BEFORE IN A MAG, IT WAS DULL BLUE AND UNRESTORED . . . . CONVERSELY, THIS ISN'T DULL OR UNRESTORED . . . . BUT IT IS ONE OF ONLY 6 [8?] EVER BUILT IN SHELBY'S FACTORY . . . . SEE, I DO LIKE MORE THAN JUST MOPARS !!!

PUT TOGETHER BY THE GUYS WORKING FOR OL' SHEL IN 1963, THIS IS ONE OF ONLY 6 LEGIT 'DRAGON SNAKE' COBRAS PRODUCED, SHELBY HIMSELF HAD NO DESIRE TO BECOME INVOLVED IN THE QUARTER MILE GAME BUT THE MEMBERS OF COBRA TEAM H.Q HAD OTHER IDEAS . . . .

Several of the guys were totally into the drag scene and liked nothing more than slipping into a nice little frock, a splash of American Beauty lippy and some high heels to step out on a weekend evening on the Strip . . . . they also enjoyed hammering the living shit out of hi po four wheelers at the booming quarter mile scene around L.A at the time and decided they should get their freak on and put out a jigger built for the job, the 'Dragon Fang Rapid Death Super Cobra Snake' was the result.

It was motorvated by the 289 small block equipped with Weber downdraft carbs, full drag exhaust and an insane, everything balanced, micro clearanced, big power, built to kill internals package, along with all the requisite drivetrain components, drag slicks and anything else needed to get the job done . . . . this model featured here is the holder of so many records I can't be fucked listing them so please read the comments section underneath the video on PooTube to get your head around it . . . .

Just remember that these were done 'in house', not by some well connected privateer as several campaigners did with various Cobras during the sixties for drag purposes . . . . it's also worth noting at this point that the good ol' Shelby mob did produce one of these with the full race fat block 427 under the hood as well, it was affectionately known as the 'Dragon Fang Rapid Death Super Duper Shit Pooper Big Bad Motherfucker Cobra Snake' . . . . currently, whereabouts unknown.



I saw this on 'Mecum Auto Auctions' on cable just this morning, it sold for a very respectable $870, 000. 00 U.S and it was reasonably recent, given the prices for genny Cobras, seems like a gift at that money and will undoubdtedly go higher . . . . I'd love to think that maybe, even once, the owner might see fit to fire the thing up and let it have it's head doing what it was meant do . . . . if you can afford that kinda dollars for a car, you can afford to have the donk/box/diff rebuilt should it decide to lunch itself halfway down the quarter . . . .

Tuesday 19 June 2012

"RARE AS ROCKING HORSE SHIT 1969 1/2 DODGE 'SUPER BEE' A12" . . . . THIS ONE IS FOR YOU STEVO, YOU PICKY BASTARD . . . . ACTUALLY LEARNED ME SOME MORE COOL CHRYSLERCAR FACTS ABOUT THE SUPER BEE . . . . APART FROM THE OBVIOUS REALITY OF IT BEING ANOTHER KILLER MOPAR !!!!

Stevo is a great mate of mine and an anal retentive, numbers manic, Chrysler nut, the fastidious owner of a numbers matching '68 Charger R/T and an early hemi that is still looking for an appropriate body to call home . . . . no sooner had I posted the Roadrunner article, off goes my phone and it's Mister Mopar, calling from his government desk job, asking me why I didn't use the Super Bee instead of the Plymouth . . . .

Mate, honestly, fucked if I know, nothing personal buddy,  maybe I'm a Plymouth guy and didn't realise it, but in a belated attempt to atone for my transgression here is your beloved Stodgey Super Buzz in all its A12 coded glory !!! Stevo, you do know I've always thought the air scoops on the quarter were the absolute fucking biz . . . .



Couple of cool facts gleaned from the "carsbyjeff" sales blurb on this video is that unlike the Plymouth version, the Dodge came with aircon and power steer . . . . no further offence intended my Mopar Head Dude, but isn't that just a tad fucking soft . . . . !!!!!

"1969-1/2 'A12' CODE ROADRUNNER 440-6 BBL" FROM 'CARSBYJEFF' ON POOTUBE . . . . THE 'ELEPHANT' MOTOR TENDS TO GRAB A LOT OF THE GLORY IN MUSCLE CAR FOLKLORE . . . . HOWEVER, THE ARRIVAL OF THE MID YEAR SIX PACK EQUIPPED 'ROADRUNER' DROPPED A FUCKING MOPAR TOUGH BOMB ON THE CAR WORLD . . . . NO ARGUMENT ON THIS ONE !!!!!

"IT'S MOPAR OR NO CAR IN MY WORLD OF FOUR WHEELED WONDERS"

Any yarn about 'Chryslercars' will always be biased if I'm tellin the tale, but I would like to think that the level of bias is based pretty heavily on indisputable fact and so is the case with muscle car legend that the '69.5 Plymouth Roadrunner represents . . . .

The near mystical 'A12' coded mid year model was a bare bones, big block, big balls, freakshow, street and strip motherfucker !!! Included in the factory package was a lightweight glass fly away bonnet, zero hubcaps, black steelies/chrome lug nut rollers, monster airscoop, big Dana diff, four speed if optioned, zip aircon, no flash interior, yada, yada, yada . . . . and the Bowtie/Blue Oval killer 440 Wedge motor complete with massive bumpstick, six pack gas/air suckers, one off Edelbrock personafold, full race open exhaust and a shitload of other internal goodies that made it a genuine mega muscle car, drive it out of the showroom, down the street, onto the local quarter mile and blow everything else into the fucking weeds !!!! 



In mostly typical Chryslercar design fashion it was a tad boxy and plain to look at, it wasn't ugly like some of its Mopar brethren, just, well, almost bland, I couldn't give a squirt of monkey spunk, it's the classic 'sleeper', until you hear the bastard start up . . . . then it's time to run for the hills !!!

The A12 coded Roadrunners were the automotive equivilent of MC5 on a handful of uppers, and while the Hemi attracts a deserved amount of adulation and attention the half year model 440 equipped Plymouth was without a doubt a truly lethal and awesomely powerful beast that more than pulled its own weight in the super stable of big horse Mopars in the glory days of the late sixties.

**** YES THE 'SUPER BEE' WAS AVAILBLE IN THE A12 FORMAT AS WELL . . . . AS MUCH AS I'M AWARE OF AT LEAST . . . . AND THANKS FOR ALERTING ME STEVO.

Monday 18 June 2012

"DOWNHILL BABES MARYHILL FREERIDE 2012" . . . . THIS IS LOOSE SHIT, HAD TO PUT IT UP, PINCHED IT FROM G.E.F AFTER HE SWIPED IT FROM 'BOING BOING' . . . . A PAIR OF GIRLIES GOING THE GRAVITY RUSH IN NOTHIN MORE THAN SHORTS AND SNEEKERS . . . . BIG COJONES OR WHAT !!!!

DOWNHILL ALWAYS REMINDS ME OF CHUY MADRIGAL AND COMPANY FROM BACK IN THE DAY . . . . OUT HERE, ME AND RAT BOMBING HILLS IN FULL SPEED TUCK, MY OWN DEATH WOBBLE AT 45k/mh, SLIDE AND SPLAT, FLESH WEARING DOWN LIKE A SOFT BAR OF SOAP  . . . . ALL IN THE NAME OF THE INSTANT RUSH.

THESE TWO CHICKS HAVE GOT IT GOING ON, HOLDING HANDS TO DIG AND HOLD IT TOGETHER, THE FULL SPEED STICKS, PERFECT SURFACE AND CONSTANT GRADIENT, BEAUTIFUL DAY AND THEY'RE STYLIN TOO . . . . AND ONLY SOME SHORTS, TEE AND BIKINI TOP, GLOVES, PADS AND LIDS TO AVOID A LIFETIME'S WORTH OF POTENTIAL GRAVEL RASH ON THEIR PERTY LITTLE BODS IF WORST COMES TO OFF . . . .

GO CHICKY BABES . . . . ALL OR NOTHING . . . . LOVIN YOUR WORK, GIRL POWER !!!!

"KUSTOM LANE GALLERY", MELBOURNE, AUSTRALIA [DATAPSTA ON POOTUBE] . . . . A SUPER GROOVY KAVE OF KUSTOM AND LOWBROW KOOL SLAP BANG IN THE MIDDLE OF MELBOURNE . . . . OUR SOUTHERN KAPITAL HAS ALWAYS BEEN ABOUT THE KULTURE AND THIS IS A KRAZY KEEN ADDITION.

Accidentally fell onto this tasty little tidbit on the PooTube while on the hunt for some totally unrelated material, but you know how it goes when you're locked into hunting mode frenzy . . . . this shrine to the Lowbrow/Weirdo Art scene and it's klose kousin, Kustom Kulture, is tucked away in a kosy alleyway in Australia's 'Garden State' of Victoria's kapital city, Melbourne, my birthplace by the way.

The 'Mexicans', [now there's a link to the previous posts], as we Queenslanders call the Vics, have always had a killer size bee in their bonnets about Melbourne being the 'kulture kapital' of this wide brown land, particularly when going toe to toe with Oz's biggest city, the Kockroach Kapital of 'steak and kidney', that'll be rhyming slang for Sydney . . . . frankly, I reckon they're right, old Melbourne town is to Aussie what the Big Apple is to to the U.S of A, [I hope nobody gets pissed at the analogy], the city is steeped in multicultural and social backgrounds, stuffed to the fucking gills with the best dining experiences in the country, home to all kinds of groovy galleries and a whole mess more. It's just a bloody kool burg to visit and there is a fully happening vibe to the place . . . .

The Kustom Lane Kaper looks to be definitely adding another string to the bow for the locals and visitors alike, artwork from the Weirdo kommunity, tattoo artists, pop art, 40's 50's and 60's iconography, bike and rod displays and a dynamic array of ever changing events within the funky confines of their space . . . . so, if you live in Melbourne or you're in town as a tourist or even on a business trip, get your arse in there and pop your peepers at Kustom Lane Gallery . . . . krazy kool !!!

Sunday 17 June 2012

LOS LOBOS "DON'T WORRY BABY" 1984 . . . . I USED TO FIGURE I GOT ONTO THESE DUDES EARLY IN AROUND '82 . . . . THEN I FOUND OUT THEY GOT TOGETHER IN LIKE THE MID SEVENTIES . . . . SO MUCH FOR OVERNIGHT SUCCESS STORIES . . . . SHEEEET !!!!

FILE UNDER "MORE MAJESTIC MEXICAN MUSICAL MADNESS"

Los Lobos really smoked it into the bigtime with their rendition of Richie Valenz' "La Bamba" for the 1987 biopic flick of the same name, but for me it was the full on rockin blues of 'Don't Worry Baby' out of 1984 that had me blowing my load . . . . like I said, I figured they'd been around for maybe six years or so at that stage, how wrong could a bloke be, they were formed back in the mid seventies and just kept on keepin on until they stuffed their foot in the door . . . . another excellent Chicano band remaining totally true to their Mexican roots and unafraid to imbue their musical output with the many influences from their culture, they'd just been doin it longer than I ever imagined.

Drove up to Bris Vegas to see em one night around the time of 'La Bamba', six of us in my little '71 LC GTR, scoobs, beers and the stereo blasting the entire trip, got to the gig fully vibed, not too many cars in the parking area, cool, fuck yeah, we'll get a good spot inside . . . . get out of the car, have a group piss in the bushes then wander around to the front of the pub, excellent, not many punters at all, have us a beer and then head around to the entry to go in . . . . and on one of those shitty little push the letters into the holes signboards like you find in old clubs . . . . THE MANAGEMENT REGRETS THAT THE LOS LOBOS SHOW TONIGHT IS CANCELLED . . . . we went home.

CRUZADOS "MOTORCYCLE GIRL" . . . . TITO LARRIVA AND DRUMMER, CHARLIE QUINTANO, FORMED 'THE CRUZADOS' IN THE WAKE OF 'THE PLUGZ' DEMISE . . . . THIS OUTFIT SHOWCASED THE MEMBERS PLAYING ABILITIES AND SONGCRAFT . . . . AT THE TIME THEY SEEMED DESTINED AND FETED FOR BIGGER THINGS . . . . ANYWAY, A GREAT TUNE PLUS A BONUS MOTORCYCLE IN THE CLIP.

THE MID EIGHTIES WAS A BIT OF DULL PERIOD FOR MUSIC IN MANY WAYS, SYNTHS WERE LIKE SYPHILLIS AND SILLY HAIR AND FUCKTARD CLOTHING ABOUNDED, IN BETWEEN ALL THAT DROSS WERE SOME BANDS WHO WERE STILL KEEPING THE SHIT REAL . . . . 'THE CRUZADOS' WERE AMONG THEM. THE TEXAS FLAVOURED R+B SUITED THEM TO THE GROUND AND THEY DESERVED A BETTER REPONSE FROM THE MUSIC BUYING PUBLIC THAN THEY GOT, BY THE LATE EIGHTIES THEY WERE GONE.

THE PLUGZ "HOMBRE SECRETO" ['REPO MAN' SOUNDTRACK 1984] . . . . A BAND OF UTMOST SIGNIFICANCE OFTEN OVERLOOKED, NOT ONLY FOR BEING PART OF THE ORIGINAL L.A PUNK SCENE . . . . THEY WERE FIERCELY PROUD CHICANOS AND THE BAND'S MUSIC DISLPLAYED THEIR CULTURE . . . . FROM THE PUNKED UP 'LA BAMBA' AND JOHNNY RIVERS 'SECRET AGENT MAN' IN THEIR ETHNIC LINGO, THEY WERE MEXICAN AMERICAN.

The guys went from the dawn of the '77 L.A punk movement, helping spearhead it, to releasing the fucking wicked, 1979 'Electrify Me' album, featuring 'La Bamba' on speed cover and single, through to soundtrack duties for the cult classic 'Repo Man' . . . . all the while proclaiming their cultural roots and heritage, they weren't the only band with Chicano origins but they sure were the ones leading the charge at the time.

Even all the way across the pacific in Oz we knew them and were digging on it by the turn of the decade, 1980, there was a definite link to skateboarding a la the Dogtown crew and their multi ethnic makeup  . . . . and, oddly enough, the 1979 released Cheech and Chong gem 'Up in Smoke' drew it all together in my mind, this was hardcore cool shit, 'Hold Fast' certainly applied to The Plugz.

Not long after 'Repo Man' came out the band finished up, as many bands of their type did, but this was not to be the last we heard of Tito Larriva and company, they would resurface in the not too distant future . . . . the clip that accompanies this, my favourite version even including those wacky Akron lads, of 'Secret Agent Man' was obviously done in more recent times but I reckon it's fucking te numero uno . . . . just like the band.

Saturday 16 June 2012

"TIRE SHAKE SHOOTOUT [OR, WHEN THE SHAKERS CAME TO TOWN]" . . . . I WAS VISITING A BIZARRE AND DEMENTED PARALLEL UNIVERSE BLOG WHERE A DUDE HAD BLATANTLY LIFTED THE C.O.C GRAPHICS AND CAME ACROSS THIS . . . . I THOUGHT IT ONLY RIGHT THAT I BLATANTLY AND WITH NO CREDIT, LIFT IT FROM HIM . . . . THIS IS A MUST SEE POST.

FILE UNDER 'TOTALLY TWISTED TIRE TALES' OR 'THIS AIN'T NO DRAG ACT'

YOU'VE GOT SEE THIS SHIT, IT'S UTTERLY A-FUCKING-MAZING, SUPER SLOW MO SHOTS OF THE BIG DRAG BAGS TRYING TO TWIST EMSELVES OFF THE RIMS OF THE ATTACHED VEE-HICKLE . . . . SHOT AND POSTED ON POOTUBE BY 'MRBJARE' AT THE FAMOUS MALMO STRIP IN SWEDEN, THIS FULLY MENTAL FOOTAGE SHOWS JUST HOW MUCH TORTURE THE TIRES GO THROUGH WHEN MEAN MOTHERFUCKER, BIG CUBE, MEGA NEDDIES DRAG BLOCKS HOOK UP.

Everybody who's even moderately into the science of the quarter mile caper will be aware of how much the drive tires on these things, even the two wheeled variety, distort during burnouts and over the initial launch phase of a run . . . . but to witness this shit in super duper slow motion with a mess of film making tricks thrown into the mix is a whole new level of mega mosheeen mindfuck, what the bags go through when seen at this speed blows my bloody mind . . . . hope you can dig this excellent footage as much as I did . . . . and thanks to "MrBjare" for the opportunity to share it, awesome dude.

DR. JOHN "REVOLUTION" 2012 . . . . THE GOOD SWAMP DOC IS A BONA FIDE FUCKING GENIUS INNOVATOR . . . . FROM HIS CURRENT FORAY 'LOCKED DOWN' SHOWCASING HIS UNCANNY ABILITY TO TURN SHIT UPSIDE DOWN AND INSIDE OUT . . . . VIVA LA REVOLUCION BABY !!!!

In a world where words like 'legend', 'genius', 'original' and 'talent' have been dumbed down to weak as piss level, this man exemplifies all of them and more, never afraid to veer off in different and untrodden directions, the Doctor has released this killer quirky track from his latest album . . . . he's gettin the mambo on with a gang of uber talented younger crew and not for one minute looking out of his league, after all, the man has been a certified groundbreaker for over forty years, this ain't no big wig marketing exercise . . . . this is the 80 Proof, bayou born, 100% swamp juice . . . . git some !!!!

Friday 15 June 2012

"AMAROO PARK CLASSIC BIKE RACING" CIRCA '83/'84 [BY 'AUSTPGM'] . . . . SUPERB AUSSIE GOLD HERE FOR SURE AT THE ONCE GREAT AMAROO CIRCUIT . . . . AND . . . . THE GREAT JOHN SURTEES PEDALLING HARD ON A '58 SHORTSTROKE MANX . . . . COMPLETE TRACK CAMERA COVERAGE AND HALF DECENT COMMENTARY AS WELL !!!!!

WHY THE FUCK SURTEES HASN'T BEEN MADE A KNIGHT OF THE REALM IS BEYOND ME, WORLD CHAMPION IN BOTH G.P BIKES AND CARS, ALL ROUND GOOD BLOKE AND DASHING DARER OF MANY DO'S, WHAT'S A CHAP TO DO LIZ, C'MON DARLIN, BREAK OUT THE SPECIAL SWORD !!!!

On with the yarn, Surtees was guesting out here in the national classic bike calender back in 1983 or 1984, [not quite sure which one] and his appointed steed was a very well sorted '58 Shortstroke Manx No-Tone which, in this case, proved entirely 'unapproachable' . . . . the gifted multi championship winner was near fifty at this time and as you can see in the footage, was still giving it a fair old kick in the balls, against a field that included the very talented but younger, Jim Scaysbrook . . . . now the editor of Australasian 'Old Bike' magazine



The grid features a shitload of the greatest single cylinder four stroke ever produced, the Manx, the gorgeous and sensational G50 Matchy, Manx Nortons and, of course, the feather bed framed, Joe Craig inspired, Norton Manx . . . . did I mention the Norton 30M . . . . just taking the piss . . . . also in the mix are some fucking breathtaking sounds being emitted from the beasts as they fairly zing around one of Aussie's great old school tracks, Amaroo, sadly now just a memory, note also the highside pipe setup on Surtees' bike, not often seen, by me at least.

Anyway, really stoked I stumbled onto this, some of the best footage I've seen from the day and a really cracking example of what classic racing is about, brilliant old bikes being steered by often equally as aged pedallers, givin it heaps of wrist and generally havin a great old time . . . . if you've never been to a classic meet, lift your freakin game, get your caper wired tight and get along, you'll be back for more guarenteed . . . . or I'll eat shit for a month !!!! 

"HIPPY KILLER HOEDOWN 2012" BY 'KEVINHOG1' ON POOTUBE . . . . JUST A REALLY COOL PHOTO MONTAGE OF THE RECENT HOEDOWN . . . . IT'S ACTUALLY JUST SOME MORE THERAPY TO HELP ME OVER MY PERSONAL BF4 DEBACLE . . . .

Even though the Hoedown and Born-Free are two totally seperate and distinct events there is a huge crossover of involved companies, counter cultural emphasis and obviously, audience in attendance. The crew who turn up to gigs like these all over the planet share the same love for bikes, especially, as they once were . . . .

Now that's a fairly broad brush to paint with, but that's the truth, be it bobbers, chops, whatever style of scoot it may be, they all have their roots planted in how things used to be and how they are now within a global community of true believers, punks, grungers, rockabilly's, retro purists, skaters, heavy metal heads, whovever . . . .

All I'm sayin is that it's a fucking good thing, so hook in and be part of it, suck it all in, look outside the square, even it if ain't what you would normally ride or be into, if it's cool, hand fabbed and honest, appreciate it for that, share the love people, lose the hate that is born of 'division', it's all good, we are all indeed 'Born Free' . . . . you gotta be able to dig that.

"BORN FREE 4" . . . . 'RIGHTEOUS CYCLE' IS FIRST TO COMPLETE THE TASK WITH THIS CLASSY '48 UL FLATTY . . . . ENGRAVING, CHROME, RIGID, GOLD ON BLACK, GOOD TO GO I SAY . . . . MANY MORE TO COME, BE THERE OR BE SAD !!!!

ROSE TATTOO "ROCK 'N' ROLL OUTLAW" 1978 . . . . THE ORIGINAL BAND WAS A BUNCH OF HARD-ARSED, REAL DEAL MOTHERFUCKERS . . . . NOTHIN LIKE EM IN THE STATES OR THE U.K AT THE TIME . . . . THIS SHIT STILL STANDS UP MEAN AND MENACING JUST LIKE IT DID 35 YEARS AGO . . . . THEY WERE OUTLAWS, NO FUCKING DOUBT.

Stand back Gunners, step aside Iron Maiden, back to the nursery Aerosmith, only room for the Tatts in this 'ere town, with the exception of Motorhead of course, there was no harder, heavier, more hammering outfit in the world . . . . full of piss and bad manners, the original lineup, most of who are now sadly dead, took Aussie then the world by storm during '78 and '79, often cited as the loudest act in Volume Town back in the day, they drank, played and lived as the suburban bad boys they were.



Only came in direct contact with them once, and in the 'middle period', around 'Scarred for Life', by which stage the band's 'character' had diluted a bit, doing a support at Bombay Rock on the Goldy, Angry demolished the entire drink rider during sound check, tore the phone off the wall in the band room and ran riot . . . . came back an hour before they were due on stage, downed another truckload of booze, wobbled out on stage and just destroyed it, even the new younger guys in the band were clearly freaked/impressed/awestruck/horrified . . . . yeah, Rock & Roll Outlaw, fuckin oath !!!

Thursday 14 June 2012

T - REX "GET IT ON [BANG A GONG]" 1971 . . . . SHIT, WHEN THIS CAME OUT WHEN I WAS IN PRIMARY SCHOOL IT WAS THE GLAMSHIZZLE . . . . I DIDN'T UNDERSTAND THE 'GLAM ROCK' CAPER, THAT WAS HOW ALL THE HIP ADULTS AND OLDER KIDS WERE DRESSING . . . . I JUST THOUGHT IT WAS A FUCKING AWESOME SONG . . . . AND STILL DO !!!!

MARC BOLAN AND T - REX INITIALLY STARTED OUT AS A FOLKY KINDA ACT BUT BY THE TIME THEY RELEASED THIS THEY FOUND THEMSELVES SPEARHEADING WHAT WAS TO BE LABELLED AS 'GLAM ROCK' . . . . YEAH, ALL THE SATIN AND VELVET MAY SEEM PRETTY FUCKIN LIMP THESE DAYS BUT BACK THEN IT WAS A WHOLE NEW COOL !!!!

The premise of taking some ultra basic three chord song structure and tarting it up with the new groove as the highly androgynous Bolan did proved a deadset winner, giving them a completely new and unique sound . . . . to this day, a feel that remains absolutely their own and became not only a signature, but ultimately, in the case of Bolan himself, a musical millstone, by the mid seventies he'd become disillusioned and withdrawn and not long after, it was all over . . . . he died in the same year as Elvis, another rock icon dead before his time . . . .

THE BASARA BOYS AND FRIENDS - "BON RUN 2012" POSTED ON POOTUBE BY 'GONZADEATH' . . . . ANOTHER YEAR, ANOTHER 'BON RUN' IN THE LAND OF THE RISING SUN . . . . A COOL SWEEP OF THE LINE UP FOR THIS YEARS RUN . . . . A STYLE THESE GUYS HAVE BEEN THE MASTERS OF FOR YEARS NOW. . . . NO SHOW PONIES HERE FOLKS, GOING GRUNGINGLY BACK TO THE FUTURE !!!!

Once more it's the time of the year where this crew of riders, not coffee shop posers, assemble for the bash they call the 'Bon Run', this is the 2012 version from Gonzadeath's pootube channel and he's been putting it out there since the first one . . . . the thing that stokes me the most is the guys devotion to their own quite specific interpretation of the 'speed bobber' image, it's purity and consistency has always blown me away, the ultimate homage to their own touchstones of inspiration.

A lot of you will recognise quite a few, if not many, of the rides in this pre run line up, and even from my perspective as a bloke familiar with them only through vids, blog and mag articles, you'll notice there is really only a refining process with most of them . . . . rather than wholesale stylistic change, it has always been about tweaking and perfecting, never jumping on the 'next big thing', to me, that is the really admirable thing, build a bike you love and hang onto the fucker because you got it pretty much right in the first place . . . . just make the bastard better !!!!



Similarly, the Basara mob and their immediate clan of cool have a genuine and obvious respect and love for building scoots which are not only stuffed full of genuine period parts, without falling victim of the 'period correct' bullshit, but bikes that are above all else meant to be flogged and flogged hard with no fear of getting em covered in road grime and filth . . . . I was having a rant about the 'faux patina' thing a month or so ago and my general detestation of it, these guys are the exact opposite of that caper, sourcing legit, well and truly used parts and then using the fuck out of them, on the road, at speed, just as the Gods of Speed intended it . . . . bang a drum, get it on, Bon Run !!!!

Wednesday 13 June 2012

BORN FREE 4 : RENE ASTENGO 'DAGO'S SPEED SHOP' . . . . ANOTHER DAY CLOSER TO THE ULTIMATE CELEBRATION OF FREEDOM THAT THIS GIG REPRESENTS . . . . ANOTHER DAY I'M FEELING GUTTED THAT I WON'T BE THERE . . . . MISSED IT BY THAT MUCH, SO CLOSE AND YET SO FUCKING FAR !!!!

I've got a long sleeve tee that one of my best buddy's brought back from the States in 1990, yeah, that long ago, it was from 'Dago Choppers' in Ocean Beach, the classic 'SS' logo on the front featured the following line, 'Blending fine art and Harley Davidsons', it's mostly holes these days but its been a faithful and trusty bit of gear for twenty years . . . .

I don't know whether Rene is related but I kind of figure that he is, maybe just a change of name and a shift in generation, [there has to be a tie in somewhere] either way, I'm not really familiar with too much of his output but I've been a fan of the Chicano style since Doug Saladino got his lowrider on the pages of Skateboarder back in the late seventies, bikes, cars . . . . I love it !!!

I wish Rene and every other builder in the BF4 fandango the very best of luck in their final, last minute endeavours as the mad scramble to complete their respective builds reaches fever pitch . . . . it has been a real thrill watching you all as things went from beginnings to near fully fledged bikes over the last few months, especially with the more recent video updates posted by Mssers Davis and Petersen on the Born Free blog, thanks a bunch for the opportunity to spy.



To all the sponsors, vendors, helpers, runners, gophers, associated crew and particularly Mike and Grant, you guys and gals are all part of something really fucking special, something unique and significant, an event so enormous in its scope that the entire custom bike world is aware of its existence . . . . the biggest, brightest and best names in the movement along with those from the outskirts and the nether regions, all brought together for one tremendous event like no other . . . . what else could you ask for if you're into choppers, bobbers, customs and completely cool out shit ??? Absolutely nothing !!!

I only wish that my plans and hopes to finally get my arse over there to witness this hellfire shebang hadn't fallen in a heap . . . . the only ray of sunshine is that the time will be spent with my beautiful daughter, and if there is one thing in my life that pales everything else into insignificance, then my darling Lizzie is that thing  . . . . you just never get that time again, as all of you with children would realise, plus, when it comes to the Freedom Fest that Born Free is all about . . . . there's always next year.

Monday 11 June 2012

"PARANOID" BLACK SABBATH [1970] . . . . THE MUSIC WORLD HAD ONLY JUST COME TO TERMS WITH THE LIKES OF HENDRIX AND LED ZEP WHEN THIS QUARTET FROM HELL UNLEASHED ITS METAL BLITZKRIEG . . . . RELENTLESS, DRIVING AND ABRASIVE . . . . IT FUCKING ROCKED AND STILL DOES !!!!

FILE UNDER "GRUDGING RESPECT" . . . .

Two heavy rock masterpieces were thrust upon the public in the first year of the seventies, Deep Purple's "Black Night" and the Birmigham outfit "Black Sabbath" with 'Paranoid', it was fitting that both bands came from the industrial heartland of Britain as their musical style was as hard and heavy as the steel mills of Sheffield and Birmingham . . . . Sabbath in particular, was the definition of 'heavy', it was a grinding freight train of rock and roll overload that almost buried Purple and Zeppelin in its wake and certainly had the squares and the straights well and truly fucked up and fully freaked out.

The band's name alone was causing the clergy and the chinless elite to pull their hair out and the whole nature of the music was so far removed from even the Stones, Cream, Vanilla Fudge and Zeppelin that the majority of the music press of the day, unlike the instant fan base the band attracted, were quite scathing in their reviews of the first two Sabbath albums . . . . on a technical level, let's be honest here, Sabbath were not the virtuosos that Page and company were, or even Deep Purple, that their primary contribution to rock + roll was the bar chord is evidence enough of their approach . . . . but, if it ain't broke . . . .

Personally, I don't find find them any heavier than my all time fave hard/heavy rock act, the manic, in your fucking face, Motor City 5, but they sure as hell were nothing like any other band of the time or since, and shit, were they loud . . . . you'll note I haven't introduced the term "Heavy Metal", as originally coined by the writer William S Burroughs, as I don't believe it was first used to describe Black Sabbath, or Deep Purple for that matter, in a musical sense . . . . some critic had already used it in reference to Hendrix and it was also written in an article regarding a description of MC5 and their sound, therefore fans, Heavy Rock is the most I'm prepared to concede.

"BUBBLE VISOR - BOTTROP KUSTOM KULTURE PT 3" . . . . FOLLOW THE LINK FORTHWITH TO SEE MORE OUTSTANDINGLY EXCEPTIONAL IMAGES FROM THE BUBBLE HEAD AT BOTTROP . . . . AND I DO MEAN EXCEPTIONAL, IT'S LIKE PHOTOGRAPHIC IMAX !!!! THANKS A MILLION TO LENNYWAY, BRILLIANT JOB MATE !!!!

bubble visor: Botropp Kustom Kulture part 3

"DANIEL SIMPSON DAY . . . . HAS NO GRADE POINT AVERAGE, ALL COURSES INCOMPLETE" . . . . HMMMMM, THAT RINGS TRUE IN THIS BLOKE'S EARS . . . . I CAN'T BEGIN TO EXPLAIN HOW SIGNIFICANT THIS FILM IS IN MY LIFE . . . . D-DAY WAS THE MAN FOR ME, FROM HIS ENTRANCE TO HIS EXIT . . . . 'WHEREABOUTS UNKNOWN', LOVED IT THEN AS NOW.

'ANIMAL HOUSE' IS STILL MY MOST BELOVED CINEMATIC MEMORY, THERE'S MANY OTHER FLICKS THAT I DIG BUT THIS MONUMENTAL ODE TO COLLEGE STUPIDITY, DISREGARD FOR AUTHORITY AND MUCH MORE WOULD HAVE TO BE MY NUMBER 1.

First saw it on Sunday night the 24th of February 1980 at Emmanuel College, University of Qld, it was the first night of 'O Week', and, as it turns out, it was to be a precursing metaphor for the next thirty years of my life . . . . beside the point . . . . from the moment that D-Day rode his bike up the stairs of Delta House, swilled his beer then played the 'William Tell Overture' on his throat with his fingers, he was 'the man' in my book, his disinterest in virtually everything else except partying, chaos, anarchy, bikes and cars struck a chord that still resonates deep within my stupid, childish mind to this day.

Nothing to be nessesarily proud of I suppose, but that's how it is, the spirit of going after only those things that are of importance to you, following your heart and soul, not planning stuff out, letting life have its head, living totally in the now . . . . yes, with the benefit of 20/20 hindsight, it's been selfish in many respects, it's caused many near and dear to me considerable pain and heartache, stability was a thing I knew fuck all about nor did I care . . . . I just kinda 'knew', with some dumb, third eye perception, that everything would be apples in the end, the classic Aussie expression 'she'll be right' comes to mind . . . . and you know what ? It is.

Shit ain't 'perfect', but what is, I've never had to work for 'the man', only ever worked jobs that I like, played music for twenty five years, I sell good piss for a day gig, I've got a beautiful twelve year old daughter, an ex who at least doesn't break my balls every other day, my mum's still alive and kickin at eighty seven and I've some brilliant friends in all walks of life who I've now known for thirty years, and one best buddy who is like a brother to me . . . . I never did plan this out, it just happened, and for that I am truly thankful . . . . cheers D-Day, wherever your spirit is.

"TALES OF THE RAT FINK" TRAILER/SHORT/PREVIEW THINGY . . . . I KNOW, IT'S OLD NEWS, GIVE A FUCK, IT'S PERPETUALLY COOL SHIT . . . . NOT SUBJECT TO THE DICTATES OF TRENDS, HIPSTERS, FASHION FAKIRS, HARDCORE'S AND THE LIKE . . . . THE BIG DADDY, A PERENNIAL PERSONAL PASSION AND SHINING BEACON OF CRAZY COOL . . . . YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE TO HAVE A BEARD TO DIG THIS STUFF !!!!

"IMMATURITY 101 . . . . DO NOT RESTRAIN YOUR INNER CHILD"

I've always tried to stay in touch with the shit that gave me the biggest tingly rush as a kid, possibly too much according to my ex wife and mum and dad, to the point where my maturation processes have been pretty retarded I guess.

As I grew older, certainly by the time I hit my twenties, it became obvious that a lot of my mates, my own parents, people I met at gigs, strangers who didn't even know me, would be making all sorts of fucked up value calls about me based on the shit that I was passionate about . . . . whether it was skateboards, bikes, cars, music, Rat Fink, Hot Wheels, whatever, these were all things they thought were the domain of kids and immature fucktards. When are you going to get a real job, are you going to finish your degree, aren't you too old to be playing with skateboards, why don't you just grow up ????

Well, here and now, at the age of fifty, nearly fifty one, my enthusiasm for all the wonderful things I hold dear hasn't diminshed one iota, not one fucking bit, if anything those feelings have only become stronger and more entrenched . . . .

I'm still a chatterbox, still the class clown, I'm putting my foot in it, always the kid in the candy store, sure, it gets me into strife, more serious folk get weirded out by it, people conjure up alterior motives that simply don't exist . . . . I like people, I'm gregarious by nature, until I find out they're cunts at least, I tend to gravitate towards like minded souls and I probably do it with too little thought as to consequences, the fact that 'words', when divorced from the physical presence of the speaker, can become terribly misconstrued and misrepresented doesn't always cross my mind until it's too late . . . . fuck, this isn't where this post was supposed to be heading !!!



Aaaarrrgh . . . . anyway, I love Ed Roth and his legacy as much as I love all those other things I have made mention of above and have done with relentless consistency for most of my life, I'm 'entitled' to present my take on things, my spin on commonly shared passions and beliefs, Rat Fink and his creator are purely emblematic of this . . . .

I don't have to 'earn' my stripes, I've done my time and put in the hard yards, I can still get 'it' wrong, especially on matters of a technical and historical nature but I'm still open to being learned, and I'll learn from the experience, providing someone is forthright enough to tell me at the time . . . . think what you like, I don't give a bag of frosted cocks, unless I figure you're possibly worth caring about, in which case I'll be the first to extend an olive branch . . . . this blog, these comments, all of it . . . . this is me, if you don't like it, then cool, you don't need to be here and I'll bid you a fond farewell. 

Sunday 10 June 2012

"BIG DADDY ROTH AND VON DUTCH DISCUSS PINSTRIPING AND MORE - PT 2" . . . . WHERE DID 'KUSTOM KULTURE' KOME FROM . . . . WHO DID WHAT WITH WHO AND WHEN . . . . WITHOUT THESE TWO KULTURAL IKONS WE'D ALL BE WATCHING MICKEY MOUSE AND GETTING BORED OUT OF OUR MINDS !!!!

The video I've posted here, [part 2 of 8 by "plazpastic" on PooTube], showcases two personalities and 'monster' talents, who, without their combined kataclysmic input the Kustom Kulture scene of today would be a much less vivid and exciting place to be . . . . yeah, I know, there were people who came before or at the same time as both Roth and Howard like Barris, Watson, Winfield and even Starbird to name some key co-conspirators . . . . but bare with me here.

It was the craziness, the extremes of hot rod design and form, and the fine art meets coach detailing meets signwriting/decorative/highlight elements that these two guys brought to the table that can't be underestimated, Ed 'Big Daddy' Roth and Kenny 'Von Dutch' Howard were the punks, the outlaws, in their respective fields . . . . they weren't just pushing the envelope, they were tearing the fucker to shreds in front of all the early elder statesmen and peers, and they didn't give a shit, it was their way or their way, no middle ground, accept no phonies . . . .

Precedents and parameters set then that still hold true today, just ask the current crop of genius builders and pinstriping/lettering maestros, they are still the fountainhead, the high priests of all we love and admire about this 'thing' that is bigger and better than all of us . . . . the essence, the magical invisible glue that binds 'us' and brings 'us' to a shared and mutually understood passion that you simply 'get' or will be forever lost on you . . . .

"BUBBLE VISOR - BOTTROP KUSTOM KULTURE 2012 PART DEUX" . . . . JUST A QUICK LINK TO AN AWESOME UPDATE FROM LENNY . . . . SOME UNBELIEVABLE, BIG ARSED CLOSE UPS OF SOME RIDGY DIDGE SPECTACULAR SCOOTS . . . . WITH BONUS SUNSHINE AT NO EXTRA COST . . . . DEUTSCHLAND UBER ALLES !!!!

Saturday 9 June 2012

NICK CAVE & THE BAD SEEDS "TUPELO" . . . . FRANKLY, HOW THE FUCK DID YOU EXPECT ME TO MENTION TUPELO WITHOUT SPEEDING HEADLONG INTO MR CAVE ET AL . . . . MY DEAR OLD LOVEY WOULD HAVE SEEN IT COMING A DERBYSHIRE MILE OFF . . . . TIME TO GET DEVILISHLY DARK AND DEMENTED AND SEW SOME BAD SEEDS . . . .

THE TRIP WITH THE SINGLE THAT THE BAD SEEDS RELEASED FROM THE ALBUM "THE FIRSTBORN IS DEAD" IS IT'S INVOCATION OF THE VERY SPIRIT OF BLUES GONE BAD, AND THE TIE IN WITH JOHN LEE HOOKER'S SPOOKY ODE OF THE SAME NAME.

CAVE AND HIS CO-AUTHORS HAD IN MIND THE BIRTH OF THE 'KING' WHEN IT WAS INITIALLY WRITTEN WHEN NICK THE STRIPPER WAS AT THE HEIGHT, OR IS THAT DEPTH, OF HIS JUNK INDUCED NADIR IN LONDON . . . . THE WORLD THROUGH HIS EYES WAS A BLEAK AND BESTIAL PLACE, [FUCK ALL HAS CHANGED I HEAR YOU SAY] AND ONE THAT WOULD BECOME POSITIVELY DANTE-ESQUE BY THE TIME HE HIT THE BOTTOM OF THE PIT IN BERLIN . . . .

If you can, get onto the Hooker version and have a listen, not that it's even related outside of a few phrases, it fits into the same 'dead zone' as Robert Johnson and the 'Crossroads' myth and harks back even further to the darkside of several times felon and convict, and writer of 'Black Betty', Leadbelly . . . . there's always been some fairly strong links to the underworld and the nether regions of existence in blues and rock culture, not even including the obvious and shlocksville likes of Sabbath, Maiden, Marilyn and Lady Ga Ga, but at this point in his career, the boy from Melbourne was certainly living the legend . . . .

"FRAU BLUCHER" 1960 TRUMPY BY 'ANGRY MONKEY MOTORCYCLES' . . . . TALKIN 'BOUT THINGS 'SOUTH OF THE MASON-DIXON LINE' . . . . DAN PATTERSON HAS DONE IT AGAIN . . . . ANOTHER INCREDIBLE TUPELO TURNED AND TUNED TRIUMPH . . . . DEFINITELY MONKEY MAGIC !!!!

When I first started encountering this southern gent's handiwork going back a few years on PooTube, I incorrectly assumed that he was French, there was someting about his pseudonym of 'SuperCrouton' that had me off in the land of escargot and good booze . . . . I knew he wasn't a cube of dried bread meant to be sprinkled on top of soups, chowders and broths because I'm a smart man . . . . turns out that Mr Dan Patterson of Angry Monkey Motorcycles hails from Tupelo, Mississippi, just up the road from Elvis Aaron Presley's humble little shack, 'Graceland' . . . .

Since then, he has been knocking out mad cool custom Trumpets on a regular basis, all of em represent a quite specific 'house' style [and there's nothin wrong with that] where attention to minimalist detail, quality of finish and function for the real world reign supreme . . . . the latest Monkey Mosheen, christened in a decidedly Germanic flavour, "Frau Blucher", [fucked if I know why, but I have recollections of a Frau Blucher in a flick] is true to all of the above, no frills, no fluff, no Lucas Prince of Darkness non-electrics, built to ride and right to run.



The shit that I really dig about the Monkey Man's bikes is that they show a real respect for some of the 'classic' elements of the bobber/hot rod look but also incorporate a consistant visual sexiness and purpose peculiar to the eye of their creator . . . . yes, there is a similarity among all of Dan's work, but as mentioned already, a specific 'house style', when executed with flawless precision like this by the builder, is only something to be applauded.

Not everybody wants to, or can, go off on a completely different tangent with each new project, but to continually refine, tweak, twist and evolve what you like to do is a noble and honest pursuit . . . . as much as I love chops where the builders utilise old, used, rebirthed and modified components just as much as I dig dead stock, as per factory, restorations and all points in between, the Angry Monkey sickles really give me the horn on their own peculiar and unique merits . . . . good job Dan, love your work !!! 

TONY JOE WHITE "POLK SALAD ANNIE" . . . . THE KING, THE GRANDFATHER, THE ORIGINATOR OF SWAMP ROCK-BLUES . . . . THIS BLOKE INFLUENCED EVERYONE FROM CREEDENCE, THE GUN CLUB TO STEVIE RAY VAUGHAN . . . . SOUTHERN FRIED ULTRA COOL, WHO'S YOUR DADDY !!!!

HALF A CENTURY LATER AND THIS PROTOTYPICAL TRACK IS STILL AS AUTHENTIC AND ATMOSPHERICALLY SWATHED IN THE MISTS OF THE SWAMP AS IT WAS WHEN HE RELEASED IT . . . . RESONATING WITH A FEEL THAT WAS ENTIRELY HIS AND ONE THAT HAS NEVER BEEN BETTERED, EVEN ELVIS' VERSION SOUNDS FUCKIN ORDINARY WHEN COMPARED TO TONY JOE'S . . . .

I'm not sure how old he is but he ain't no spring chicken, point being is, he is still out there playing live, writing tunes and recording, I saw him about eight or so years ago at a blues festival and it was a stellar gig . . . . a real natural performer and story teller par excellence, so if you're ever given the opportunity, go and suck in some seriously salubrious, southern swamp style, 'Loosianna' never sounds so good as when Tony Joe White's steering the boat through the bayou . . . . OW-OOOOO!!!

THIS WEEKEND IS ALSO THE "COOLY ROCKS" FESTIVAL IN COOLANGATTA ON THE GOLD COAST . . . . IT USED TO BE CALLED 'WINTERSUN' UNTIL A BUNCH OF CORPORATE/COUNCIL POWERTRIPPERS FUCKED IT UP . . . . STILL, IT'S WHAT WE'VE GOT SO GET ON DOWN OR UP AND TAKE A LOOK . . . . RODS, KUSTOMS/CUSTOMS, SOME BIKES, BANDS AND THE USUAL STUFF . . . . AND RAIN, AGAIN !!!

"BOTTROP KUSTOM KULTURE 2011 - THE SHORT FILM" BY 'PIXELEYE' ON POOTUBE . . . . IT'S THAT TIME OF THE YEAR AGAIN NORTH OF THE EQUATOR . . . . AND IF YOU'RE DOMICILED IN EUROPE THEN THE EPIC BOTTROP KUSTOM KULTURE GIG IS FOR YOU . . . . THIS WEEKEND, SHITLOADS OF BIKES, CARS AND ASSOCIATED SHENANIGANS TO BE ENJOYED . . . . BE THERE OR BE FOREVER CAST OUT !!!!

Unreal bit of short film making from 'Pixeleye' covering last year's bash at the biggest do of it's type in Europe, black and white is such a bullshit cool medium for this, hook it up with some dirty, sizzling rock + roll sound tracking and you have yourself one tastier than spit roasted cat eye candy . . . . like I said, if you're in Europe, get your shit together and head for the airstrip for a kickin kustom kulture kaos weekend of fun and frivolity, do it before the entire continent descends into economic oblivion and the Euro becomes worthless !!

Friday 8 June 2012

MY DAUGHTER'S CAT DIED LAST NIGHT . . . . I GENERALLY DON'T HAVE AN AFFINITY FOR FELINES, BUT IT WAS COOL . . . . WE'RE GONNA SPIT ROAST IT LATER TODAY . . . . DROP ROUND IF YOU'RE IN THE AREA, SHOULD BE YUMMY !!!!

No, seriously, it's just an experiment in genetic mutation undertaken in a joint venture between the collective genius of the National Front Movements of Britain and Australia, the KKK/Skinhead Alliance and the International Neo Nazi League . . . . clever lads aren't they . . . . you should see their grand and shining plans for the human race, interesting to say the most . . . . rational, balanced and completely sane . . . . really, they're all nice, lovable folk, just tragically misunderstood . . . .

No . . . . I lied . . . . it's the very talented Yo-Landi Vi$$er from Die Antwoord cuddling up to some pretty ghastly but brilliant uber surreal shock art from the slightly out-there mind of Niell Blomkamp and his bunch of cronies . . . . go to PooTube and follow the instructions to see more of this crazy stuff.

THE THE "HEARTLAND" . . . . MATT JOHNSON, ONE OF THE MOST OVERLOOKED, UNDER APPRECIATED SONGWRITERS, SOCIAL COMMENTATORS OF THE DAY . . . . EVERYBODY IN BRITAIN WAS TOO BUSY STICKING THEIR HEADS UP MORRISEY'S ARSE TO NOTICE . . . . OR MAYBE THEY JUST DIDN'T WANT THE UGLY TRUTH . . . . THIS IS THE 51st STATE OF THE U.S.A . . . . BUT IT COULD BE SOOOOO MUCH WORSE.

CULTURAL IMPERIALISM . . . . ONE EMPIRE FALLS, ANOTHER TAKES IT'S PLACE, GOD KNOWS, WE COULD ALL BE SPEAKING MANDARIN AND CANTONESE IN A HUNDRED YEARS FROM NOW . . . . "INFECTED" IS AN ALBUM THAT STILL SOUNDS AS FRESH AND VITRIOLIC NOW AS IT DID BACK IN 1986, IF YOU HAVEN'T HEARD IT BEFORE, AS OUR MOLLY MELDRUM SAYS, DO YOURSELF A FAVOUR . . . .

MATT JOHNSON DARED TO TACKLE THE BIG ISSUES, WHILE 'THE SMITHS', THE DARLINGS OF THE POMMY MUSIC PRESS AND ALT PUBLIC, MINCED AND POUTED ACROSS THE STAGE WITH MIRRORS IN THEIR HANDS . . . . IF ONLY SOMEBODY HAD STOPPED THEM, STOPPED THEM, STOPPED THEM . . . .

I DO LIKE THE SMITHS, HONEST I DO . . . . JUST WORKS ME UP A POOFTEENTH . . . . ANYWAY, ENJOY THE UGLY TRUTH CARE OF 'THE THE' WITH "HEARTLAND" . . . . SING ALONG ON THE OUTRO . . . . THIS IS THE 51st STATE, OF THE UUUUU - S - AAAAA . . . .



***** TRIVIAL FOOTNOTE . . . . WHEN I FINALLY GOT SEE TO HIM IN THE MID NINETIES, JOHNNY MARR WAS ON GUITAR DUTIES, NOT THAT IT MATTERED, THE LIGHTING GUY GOT SO CARRIED AWAY WITH THE FUCKING SMOKE MACHINE YOU COULDN'T SEE EITHER JOHNSON OR THE BAND . . . . BUT THE SOUND WAS GREAT, THANKS DIPSHIT, HOPE YOU'RE SELLIN YOUR BUM IN THE CROSS !!!

THROWBACK FINNED SHOVELHEAD ROCKER COVERS . . . . NO LONGER "COMING SOON", THEY'RE FUCKING HERE MY LOVES . . . . JUST PLACED MY ORDER WITH JOSH AT THROWBACK H.Q . . . . NOW IT'S JUST SIT BACK AND WAIT . . . . GIDDY UP !!!!

WELL, I'VE BEEN PATIENTLY WAITING FOR JOSH TO COMPLETE NOT ONLY ALL THE REQUISITE PREP WORK POST CASTING, BUT TO FULFIL ORDERS FOR BLOKES WHO HAD BEEN WAITING FOR MUCH LONGER THAN I . . . . TRUE TO HIS WORD, IN COMES THE GREENLIGHT EMAIL TO SAY THEY ARE GOOD TO GO, INTO THE PAYPAL ACCOUNT AND NOW IT'S JUST ANOTHER WEE WAIT AND I'LL HAVE EM IN MY HOT LITTLE HANDS AND THEN ONTO 'PROJECT SHOVELLER' . . . . CAN'T FUCKING WAIT !!!

They ain't cheap but they are the result of one bloke's mad pursuit of his own bit of perfection, from the minute I saw them on Applied Machete, [thanks Rich], I knew I was going to get me a set, I'm not a mechanic's or engineer's arsehole . . . . but, at the risk of blowing smoke up my own clacker, I reckon I can pick good quality in others work at a thousand yards, just cast your beadies over the photo in the link below and try to tell me otherwise . . . . bloody gorgeous to look at, in a classic speed equipment style, the fins will do what fins have always done, draw heat from the thing they cover, in this case the rocker gear, thereby giving a more efficiently cooled top end, even it's only by degrees, every little bit helps. Form following function, what a great concept, who'd have thunk that shit would work ???? D'oh !!!!

Yessiree, I'm over the friggin moon, of all the bits and bobs I've been accumulating over the past six months, these and Senor Casquilho's trees are the ones that I'm most hard over, shit, I love hand made, super quality stuff . . . . can't wait, bring it on home, yeah !!!

Throwback Motorcycle parts — Finned Shovelhead rockerboxes-- COMING SOON--

Thursday 7 June 2012

OBITUARY - RAY BRADBURY DIES AT 91, CARTOON POSTED BY 'ELMETICHE007' ON POOTUBE . . . . THE AUTHOR OF 'FAHRENHEIT 451', 'SOMETHING WICKED THIS WAY COMES', 'IT CAME FROM OUTER SPACE' AND MANY MORE . . . . IT'S A BIT WEIRD HOW I ONLY MENTIONED HIM IN A POST YESTERDAY . . . . I WAS NEVER A SCI FI FREAK BUT I LOVED HIS TALENT FOR HYPER VIVID STORYTELLING . . . . R.I.P


THE HELLACOPTERS - "(GOTTA GET SOME ACTION) NOW !!" . . . . CHANNELING THE COSMIC CONNECTIONS OF THE MC5, RADIO BIRDMAN AND SATAN THESE GUYS KICKED ROCK AND ROLL IN THE ARSE WHEN IT WAS MOST NEEDED . . . . ALONG WITH 'ROXETTE', 'ABBA', 'THE CARDIGANS' AND 'PETER, BJORN AND JOHN', MY FAVOURITE SWEDISH ACT . . . . FROM ANYWHERE COME TO THINK OF IT !!!

The late nineties/early noughties seems such a fucking intergalactic blur away to me now, 'metal damage, brain damage . . . . he he he', no wonder the old mind ain't quite so functional as it once was, but, as they say, goodtimes !!!

The 'Copters from hell arrived on our shores care of the J's, radio station Triple J, not long after the release of 'Supershitty to the Max' in about '96/'97, Aussies instantly took to them, what with a history of bands like Birdman, New Race, The Scientists all paying homage to The Stooges, The MC5, The Dolls and The Ramones, it was only natural . . . .

That love affair still exists today, along with 'Millencolin', 'The Hives' et al, the 'Hellacopters' hold a special place in the hearts of their fans Downunder . . . . they toured heaps, played whitehot, sweaty, honest rock shows, always appreciated the crowds and generally seemed to love the nature of the Oz way of doin things . . . .

I got to 'see' em only once, in Queensland, in either '99 or 2000, as I stated previously, the specific recollections are a bit hazy, particularly for that gig, too much of everything for too long before the show . . . . but I'm always reminded by my mates I was with that not only did I miss most of the show but that they fully rocked it . . . . and if you can't believe your buddies, who the fuck can you believe ??? Anyhoo, get ready to kick out the daily jams with one of their best, The Hellacopters with 'Gotta get some Action - Now !!'

MOTORHEAD "ACE OF SPADES" . . . . THIS IS FOR ME . . . . 400 POSTS UP . . . . MEANS FUCK ALL REALLY . . . . I JUST LIKE EVEN NUMBERS AND MOTORHEAD . . . . TOO BAD IF YOU DON'T . . . .

Wednesday 6 June 2012

"BEATLES 3000" BY 'ZOLTARKILL' . . . . FOOD FOR NOUGHT . . . . WHAT IF HISTORIANS, ARCHAEOLOGISTS, ANTHROPOLOGISTS AND ALL THE OTHER TRENCH DIGGERS HAVE BEEN JUST A POOFTEENTH 'OUT' ALL ALONG . . . . THIS COULD WELL BE A FUTURE REALITY . . . . FILE UNDER 'B' FOR FUCKING EXCELLENT !!!!

It's a bit like the Ray Bradbury short story, "A Sound of Thunder", you've only gotta stand on a little old butterfly and, FUCKOFF!!!, there goes the neighbourhood . . . . fell into this brilliant bit of schtick only tonight while bouncing of a Haints post, funniest shit I've seen for weeks . . . . .

History is pretty easily skewed in the space of one generation . . . . imagine the possibilities over a thousand years . . . . as I said in the title, what if we've been just a bee's dick off target for the last four hundred years . . . . ?????

"ISLE OF MAN TT 2012 RACE HIGHLIGHTS - THE RETURN" . . . . A YOUNG BRIT, CODE NAME '1234JUMPINGJ4321' MANAGES TO CAPTURE THE CEREBRAL CORTEX MELTING SPEEDS ATTAINED AT THE I.O.M . . . . AND A BIT OF HARMLESS MALARKEY . . . . FROM SEVERAL VANTAGE POINTS AS WELL . . . . KEY PHRASE, 'FUCKING FAST' !!!!!

There's shitloads of professional, big buck, high end camera footage out there by this stage of the IOM fortnight, shot from the prime positions atop scaffolding platforms or out of choppers or U.F.O's, the stuff in this clip is what it's like as Johnny Punter, looking around fellow gawkers noggins and finding a spot on the course wherever they can . . . . just as we would have to do if we were there.



Young Jumping Boy has managed to commit to video the real sense of death defying, sphincter puckering, testicle tightening speed these rocket riders are achieving in their chase for victory on this veteran widowmaker of a course . . . . note the soft, welcoming rock walls beckoning the jockeys with their warm embrace, the lure and proximity of unyielding houses and telegraph poles, and, of course, the acres of run off area, all beautifully designed to minimise damage to the human skeletal structure . . . . mmmmmm . . . . gimme some of that shit !!!

The first shots are taken at the bottom of Bray Hill, at this point on the circuit they're doing around 160mph, the Greeba section has already seen a fatality this year with still more races and the frantic, yet legendary, 'Mad Sunday' yet to come  . . . . make no bones about it . . . . this is the biggest, bravest, ballsiest motorcycle race in the world . . . . everything else looks almost safe by comparison.

DEATH SCIENCE "REVENGE RUN IV" BY DANIEL THOMAS . . . . THE DEAL IS THIS, I HAVEN'T FIGURED OUT HOW TO POST 'VIMEO' STUFF . . . . SO IN THE ABSENCE THEREOF, HERE'S AN INSIGHT INTO BOTH THE FILM MAKER AND THE SUBJECT MATTER . . . . IF YOU HAVEN'T YET SEEN THIS POST MODERN, MOTORCYCLIN MASTERPIECE, TRIP ON OVER TO THE 'DEATH SCIENCE' BLOG AND HIP YOURSELF . . . . A FRESH TAKE ON THE BIKER FLICK, FULLY WORTH A LOOK !!!!

A REALLY SWEET DOCO TYPE MOVIE CENTRED ON THE DEATH SCIENTISTS AND THE JOURNEY TO, AND BEYOND, THE DESTINATION . . . . IT'S OUTSIDE THE BOX, IT'S FRESH AND IT'S DEFINITELY RATED WITH A 'C' FOR COOL . . . . HUMOUR, MATESHIP, RIDIN AND REALITY !!!

The guys have put the thing together in cahoots with the uber talented Daniel Thomas behind the lens, clearly investing their own time and resources to get it done 'properly' . . . . and you know what the best part is ???? To enjoy and relish the combined fruit of their productive loins isn't gonna cost you a red cent . . . . that's right, it's completely free, nada, zip, diddly outlay required !!! How often these days to you get the opportunity to soak in the artistic joy of this level of quality without having to dig deep ??? I think the word you're looking for here is 'never' . . . .

I know its been out for a while now but it desreves a big, fat audience, it's not some quicky piccy thrown onto video gig, this is the genuine article by guys who appear to be that same thing, so, in a world full of fake and phony you owe it to yourself . . . . check it out, it's too good to miss out on.

Tuesday 5 June 2012

"BORN FREE 3" FROM '54EAST' ON POOTUBE . . . . I'VE BEEN OGLING OVER CLIPS FROM THE FIRST THREE BORN FREE GATHERINGS SINCE DAY ONE . . . . EACH YEAR HAS SEEN MY ANTICIPATION OF ACTUALLY GETTING THERE RISE WITHIN ME . . . . THIS WAS TO BE MY YEAR, MY TIME, BUT FATE HAD OTHER IDEAS . . . . SO I FIND MYSELF ONCE MORE WATCHING AND DREAMING . . . . SHIT HAPPENS.

THIS IS A FULLY WICKED CLIP OF BF3 PUT TOGETHER BY '54EAST', GREAT FOOTAGE, COOL TUNES AND A REALLY SWEET OVERVIEW OF WHAT IS THE ULTIMATE EVENT OF ITS KIND IN THE WORLD . . . . MIKE DAVIS, GRANT PETERSEN AND ALL THE SPONSORS DESERVE THE GREATEST LEVEL OF SUPPORT AND GRATITUDE FOR CONSISTENTLY GETTING THIS MONSTER LOGISTICAL NIGHTMARE WIRED TIGHT SO EVERYONE CAN SIMPLY TURN UP AND AND ENJOY THE SHIT OUT OF IT . . . .

SO, IF YOU'RE WITHIN RIDIN, DRIVIN, FLYIN OR MATTER TRANSMUTATION DISTANCE OF BF4 START GETTIN YOUR KIT TOGETHER, SORT THE TIME OFF WORK AND BE SURE TO GET ON OUT TO CALI FOR THE BIG GIG, JUNE 30TH, LOCK AND LOAD FOLKS . . . . BE THERE OR BE SAD . . . . LIKE ME . . . . ONCE AGAIN . . . .

DAR HOLDSWORTH HAVIN A YAP ABOUT HIS NAVY 'TRIBUTE/THEME/DEDICATION/MEMORIAL BIKE' THING . . . . I AM NO FAN OF THE ENTIRE CONCEPT OF THE SWISS FAMILY IDIOT INDUCED "THEME BIKE" GIG . . . . BUT . . . . THIS JUST GOES TO SHOW THAT IT CAN STILL END UP LOOKING NOT TOO UNLIKE A MOTORCYCLE.

What the Teutels and Discovery Channel have done to the world of custom motorcycles over the last decade should be classified as crimes against engineering aesthetics, I don't know if that makes them worse than all the sheep who ran off in great, mindless flocks and bought into the entire 'theme bike' shindig or not . . . . maybe they both dererve each other, who knows and who gives a fuck, it's all sewage under the bridge as far as I'm concerned, and all others of their ilk for that matter.

Dar Holdsworth, he of Brass Balls Bobbers fame, has jumped in with the currently incarcerated Billy Lane, to produce their own theme rides for the Services, Billy did Air Force [I think] and Darwin got the call up for the Navy . . . . the rest is by the bye, the end result for the Navy jigger is what I reckon to be the nicest lookin, best thought out, smartest engineered 'theme bike' yet.

No, I wouldn't own it even if I had the money and the inclination, but it sure goes to prove that this sort of broad spectrum, mass appeal, high mainstream public profile build can be undertaken with class and sophistication without having the end result looking like it was put together by a bunch of visually impaired troglodytes using tree trunks, lump-hammers and rocks.

In the Navy, you can . . . . . . . . .

Monday 4 June 2012

"A VISIT TO THE GARAGE COMPANY" BY 'THEHEINEKEN' ON POOTUBE . . . . YOU NEVER REALLY APPRECIATE THE FULL SCOPE OF SOMETHING UNTIL YOU SEE IT IN THE FLESH . . . . OR AT LEAST IN FILM AS A SECOND BEST OPTION . . . . GLOBAL INDUSTRY LEGEND, YOSHI, AND A WILD OVERVIEW OF ONE MAN'S ALL CONSUMING BEAUTIFUL ILLNESS/AFFLICTION/ADDICTION.

WOW !!!! WHAT A PLACE, YOU SEE DRIBS AND DRABS OF THINGS OVER A LONG PERIOD OF TIME BUT NOTHIN PREPARES YOU FOR THE NATURE OF IT OUTSIDE OF ARTICLES AND PHOTOS . . . . A FULLY UNSANE, ECLECTIC MASH-UP OF MAKES, MODELS, AGES, STYLES AND TYPES OF SCOOTS . . . . CHOPS BESIDES CLASSIC SPORT BIKES, PLUGGERS SURROUNDED BY RACERS, DIRT BY ROAD, CUSTOMS CHEEK BY JOWL WITH PERIOD CORRECTERS . . . . IT'S A BLOODY JUNGLE IN THERE !!!!

And all the result, originally, of one blokes obsession bordering on addiction to motorcycles and all things motorcycling, admittedly, this is the new, improved location and from what I remember of pics from the previous digs, a much bigger operation, the sheer variety of bikes on hand is mindblowing and such a rush to behold, complete bike envy of enormous proportions !!!



I suppose I needed to look at this to avoid thinking about the reality that my highly anticipated trip to the States to check out BF4 has fallen on it's arse as of this morning due to unforseen family commitments . . . . actually pretty heavily bummed to the point of devastated, it was only gonna be a whistlestop, four day assault but I was so psyched for the solo recce mission that I'd been planning since much earlier in the year . . . . oh well, fuck it, there'll be other times I'm sure, moreover, I've only got one twelve year old daughter and that kinda outweighs everthing else by the proverbial country mile, love you Lizzie . . . . I wonder if my tickets in the bike raffle are still worth a squirt of billy goat's piss . . . .

PETE WINGFIELD "18 WITH A BULLET" [ORIGINAL 1975 VERSION] . . . . GOTTA BE ONE OF MY FAVE ONE HIT WONDERS EVER . . . . CAME OUT JUST AS THE DISCO THANG WAS GAINING MOMENTUM . . . . A WELSH BLOKE DOING SOUL AND DOO WOP LIKE IT WAS EARLY SIXTIES ON ECCIE . . . . SWEET, SWEET STUFF !!!!

Reminds me of - the end of second form high school, broken leg, hospital, Cadillac Wheels and Chicago trucks, love, Jenny Andrews, summer, feeling like I was growing up, moving to Surftown, XR-75, toluene, Levi's, Tamiya, Coca Cola skate demos, happiness, sadness . . . . be my 'A' side baby, be side 'B' . . . . yeah, sweet as bro !!!

Sunday 3 June 2012

BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN "57 CHANNELS [AND NOTHIN ON]" . . . . THE BOSS, TELLIN IT LIKE IT IS . . . . THE DUDE GETS A HARD TIME FROM A LOT OF PEOPLE . . . . WITH VERY FEW EXCEPTIONS OVER THIRTY FIVE YEARS, I RECKON HE'S PENNED A TRUCKLOAD OF GREAT TUNES . . . . THIS IS FOR THE CABLE SPORTS PROGRAMMERS, FROSTED COCKS, THE LOT OF YA !!!

"FULL THROTTLE - ISLE OF MAN TT" MINI DOC FROM OZ T.V . . . . WOULDN'T YOU KNOW IT, THE FIRST WEEKEND OF THE SINGLE GREATEST BIKE CONTEST ON THE PLANET . . . . AND NOT A SCRAP OF NEWS ABOUT IT ON ANY CABLE SPORTS CHANNEL . . . . I MEAN WTF, NOT EVEN ON 'SPEED' . . . . IS IT NOT FAST ENOUGH TO QUALIFY ???

YEAH, THE MOST AWE INSPIRING SPECTACLE IN MOTORSPORT, AN EVENT THAT HAS KEPT FANS AND RIDERS COMING BACK FOR NEARLY A CENTURY, A ONE OF A KIND COURSE IN THE MOST PICTURESQUE OF LOCATIONS AND NOT A FUCKING SNIPPET !!! WAKE THE FUCK UP PROGRAMMERS . . . . GET YOURSELVES HIP !!!!

I mean, what gives, we used to get better coverage out here on commercial television back in the dark and distant eighties, now, there's absolutely sweet fuck all . . . . oh, we'll probably get some stale, bum dag, token clips next week, or month, but that'll be it, for a nation that is pretty apeshit over anything relating to blokes competing in or on things with loud, fast motors attached, we're being shafted !!!!

The video has been pilfered from a show on Australian telly along the lines of Sixty Minutes, only minus the ticking stopwatch . . . . Mark Skaife is a legend Aussie race driver, he does the I.O.M tour of discovery, chats to various other legends, and those who might be, it includes some great classic footage, bits from 'Closer to the Edge' and their own stuff . . . . all in all, a really classy minidoc on the most arse kicking two wheeled contest of big balls bravery in the world.

"1972 AUSTRALIAN DRAG RACING NATIONALS" BY 'RACE66ETHANOL' . . . . A REAL BLAST FROM OZ'S PAST, ALL CLASSES, ALL TYPES, ALL GOOD . . . . I DON'T BUY INTO THE 'CARS SUCK' THEORY, IT'S A BULLSHIT, SHALLOW, NARROWMINDED, FAUX BIKER DRIVEL DRIP . . . . ANYTHING WITH GRUNT UP FRONT IS A BIT OF ALRIGHT IN MY BOOKS !!!!

Some red hot period footage from the land of the Main Force Patrol, 1972, XU1's and HO's were the go on the street and on the strip it was a kaleidascopic miasma of old Brit, Yank, Jap and Aussie hybrids, a wonderful melting pot of beautiful 60's feds, altereds, Toranas, Corollas, 'Stangs, Humpies, Datos, Anglias, Morries . . . . you name it, it's here and running the quarter wide open.

Some seriously decent speeds being attained and the film speed is remarkably good, nothing looks like its been dredged out of the 1920's, sound quality is also superb, apart from an annoying 'bang' sound effect inserted at the end of some runs . . . . this is the shit that's absent from so much modern motorsport, relaxed, casual, good old fashioned fun, all destroyed by interfering legislative bodies, social do-gooders and a bunch of lawyer led, loser litigants who didn't want to take responsibility for their own stupid, gormless actions . . . . enjoy a portal back to a more innocent and enjoyable time.

APHEX TWIN "WINDOWLICKER" [H.D 720p] . . . . APHEX TWIN ISN'T, RICHARD JAMES IS . . . . UNSETTLING, UNWELL, UNSTABLE, UNUSUAL, UNAPOLOGETIC AND UNDER THE CONTROL OF THE HAND OF THE UNIVERSE . . . . MR JAMES WITH TEN MINUTES OF RELATIVE HAPPINESS . . . . PERFECT SUBSTANCE SUCKLING SOUNDS, SONICALLY SPEAKING.

Given Aphex Twin's twisted and seriously disturbing previous releases in the vein of 'Come to Daddy' and the bizarre 'Rubber Johnny' co-production with Chris Cunningham, the wonderfully dreamy on the good shit 'Windowlicker' is a fun filled frolic into Gene Kelly inspired throbbing man gristle joy, just dig it and sit the fuck down . . . . or stand the fuck up . . . . or whatever you want to do . . . .

Saturday 2 June 2012

THE CONTINUED PICTURE POSTING ADVENTURES OF IDIOT BOY IN THE LAND OF THE INTERWEB UPLOAD PARTY PLAN PRINCIPLE . . . . NOW, THIS ONE HAS ONLY TAKEN THIRTY ODD MINUTES, SUCK IT IN, LET'S SEE HOW IT COMES OUT . . . . OR DOESN'T, AS THE CASE MAY BE.

THE PURPLE PENIS IN PROFILE . . . . BIZARRE FACTOID #562a . . . . NEVER HAD AS GOOD MILEAGE FROM ANY SET OF BAGS AS I HAVE FROM THE HOGLET . . . . I HAVE ALWAYS RUN METZELERS, WITH THE EXCEPTION OF THE NEAR TERMINAL FLIRTATION WITH THE LEGENDARY NON TIRE THAT THE 'DEATHMASTER' AND K81 WERE ON MY FIRST BONNIE AND HERE I AM WITH THE MINI TRACTOR AND I'M CLOCKING UP 18,000 KLM ON BOTH REARS AND OVER THAT FOR THE STEER END.                                                                                                                                                                                  

NOW . . . . LET'S SEE WHAT THIS DOES . . . . BRING ME THE MACHINE THAT GOES 'PING' . . . . JUST PUSHIN BUTTONS AND HOPIN FOR THE BEST FOLKS !!!!!


TRY AND DO THIS WITHOUT THE BLOODY JUMP BREAK SHIT HAPPENING . . . . HOW TOTALLY FUCKING ANNOYING IS THIS ???? AAAARRRRGGGGHHHHH !!!! 

NOW THE PHOTO'S TOO BLOODY BIG, I'VE PUNCHED THE WRONG BUTTON AND STUFFED THE ABILITY TO TYPE NORMALLY WITHOUT IT DOING THIS DRUNKEN TANGO ALL OVER THE PAGE . . . . ENOUGH, BEFORE I SMASH THE FUCKING COMPUTER ALL OVER THE FLOOR . . . . BLOODY INANIMATE OBJECTS !!!! TIME TO GET OUT FOR A THRASH ON THE PENIS MACHINE . . . . I'LL BE BACK FOR YOU . . . . ODDBALL !!!!                                                                                                                                                                                                                                 

'ELLO 'ELLO, WOT'S ALL THIS THEN, AMEN . . . . JUST DICKING ABOUT TRYING TO LEARN HOW TO SIDELOAD UPDRAFT AND DOWNSHOP PHOTOS . . . . TAKEN ME THREE FRIGGIN HOURS TO ACHIEVE NOT BLOODY MUCH AT ALL !!!!

LET'S SEE IF IT STICKS, KNOWING MY LUCK, THE 'PURPLE PENIS' WILL HAVE TOTALLY VANISHED INTO THE ETHER BY THE TIME I CHECK THE BLOG OUT . . . .


AND NOT UNLIKE MY OWN MANHOOD, THE PHOTO HAS TURNED OUT TO BE FAR TOO SMALL, REMINDS OF THE LINE OUT WHATEVER THE MOVIE WAS . . . . 'IT'S JUST LIKE A PENIS . . . . ONLY SMALLER' . . . . ANYWAY, ENOUGH SHITE, LET'S SEE WHAT GIVES ???

***** HOLY SHIT !!! IT'S ALMOST WORKED . . . . BY GEORGE, I THINK I'VE NEARLY GOT IT BY THE SCROTE SAC . . . . SAY HELLO TO MY LIDDLE FREN, IN HIS FIRST OFFICIAL APPEARANCE ON MY BLOG . . . . WELL, IT'S A START, SMALL, BUT A START !!!

"BOBBER START UP" BY CHRIS WOODAGE U.K . . . . REAR SETS ON A SPORTY BASED, GOOSED RIGID . . . . INVERTED TOURER 'BARS ON A SPRINGER FRONT END . . . . OFFSET STAINLESS PIPES AND MORE . . . . A GORGEOUS BIT OF KIT FROM ANOTHER SUPER TALENTED LIMEY . . . .

Chris Woodage has a blog called, oddly enough . . . . Woodage Blog . . . . the dude is a world class shooter of shots of the photographic kind with a long list of uber subjects, part time sideshow freak/wall of death henchman, artisnal fabricator of unique lamps and lights, student of blipvert philosophy, a rider of the ocean's emerald highway and a passionate motorcycliste.

The scoot you see here is his little masterpiece and labour of love, judging by his metal working skills I imagine that many of the one off components are fabbed by Chris himself . . . . I love the retro feel of the thing and the 'Brough gets Tough' blending of classic Brit, pre war aesthetics with the equally classic lines of the Sportster donk . . . . you also don't see too many rigids with rear sets and what look to be inverted tourer 'bars atop a springer front end . . . . what can I say, I dig the thing, a lot. Bang up job mate, you should be stoked.

Go and check out his broader body of work in more detail at the Woodage Blog.

NIRVANA "LITHIUM" . . . . NEVERMIND AXL AND VINCE, IT'S KURT AND THE 'LOSERS' FROM SEATTLE . . . . FROM ARGUABLY THE GREATEST ROCK ALBUM EVER MADE . . . . ALL OF A SUDDEN THE GNRS, CRUE AND EVERY OTHER SPANDEX CLAD HAIR BAND WAS OBSOLETE . . . . THANK FUCK !!!!

We know they weren't the only ones, it was all happenin simultaneously in Washington's big burg, Tad, Mother Lovebone, Soundgarden et al, but it was these guys who got it all together with the follow up to 'Bleach' . . . . just one of those rare moments in rock+roll when all the right ingredients fall into the bowl at the same time, the band with new drummer Grohl, the producer, the studio and the fucking songs, it all went into the oven and out came the grunge cake that killed the L.A centric cock rock, hair bear fandango in the neck . . . . it was the second coming of the punk ethos done up in flannelette and Vans and splattered with the blood spewing forth from Kid Cobain's tortured vocal chords !!!!



I was lucky enough to catch them when they toured Australia with Violent Femmes just as the world went spastic over the just released 'Nevermind', they had been doing a rotation thing where one night the Femmes would play last, the next would be Nirvana . . . . by the time they hit Fisherman's Wharf on the Goldy it was Gano and the boys due to headline . . . . late arvo in front of about, I dunno, a shitload of punters, Kurt, Krist and Dave come on stage, the crowd is amped, they plug in, feedback everywhere, first two songs suck serious levels of arse, mix is fucked, they look lost . . . . this is so easy to do as a three piece . . . . then . . . . then the sound guy gets his shit together, the band find the connection and the whole motherfucker explodes in a nuclear sound bomb, sixty odd minutes of sheer rock and roll perfection, tight, pounding, grinding, uplifting, primordially perfect musical ecstacy.

It was spellbinding, utterly mesmerizing, my mind was so fully blown that I left immediately after they finished, even though I'm a huge Femmes fan, so I wouldn't dilute the sound still ricocheting between my ears . . . .

I don't know how many excellent bands I've seen in thirty plus years, possibly thousands, but to this day, those three blokes from Seattle remain the single most significant rock performance I've ever had the pleasure to witness, it was something so special, so intense that you knew you'd just been part of history being made, real, serious and enduring history . . . . we all attained a smidge of Nirvana that afternoon and everybody who was there knew it.

Friday 1 June 2012

I.O.M TT THIS WEEK, THE GREATEST ROAD RACE IN THE UNIVERSE . . . . DANGER WIL ROBINSON, DANGER, DANGER . . . . BIT OBSESSED ABOUT THIS ONE, NO OTHER BIKE RACE DOES THE SAME THING FOR ME . . . . BEST OF BRITISH TO ALL RIDERS AND PUNTERS FOR THIS YEARS SPECTACLE . . . . JOHN McGUINNESS - "BREAKING THE BARRIER" - PART 2 OF 3

THERE SIMPLY ISN'T ANYTHING ELSE QUITE LIKE IT IN THE WORLD OF TWO WHEELED COMPETITION, THE EXPLOSIVE AND POTENTIALLY DEADLY MIX OF MASSIVE SPEED, A ROAD COURSE 'MINED' AND LINED WITH EVERY CONCIEVABLE STATIONARY MAN KILLING OBJECT AND EVER CHANGING SURFACE CONDITIONS MAKE THIS A TRUE TEST OF A MOTORCYCLING MADMAN'S METTLE . . . . FUCKING INSANE 110%



This bit of high speed cinema not only features some wicked on board, aerial and stationary shots of last years Senior event, the 100th anniversary and the first time that the TT modern day ultra legend, John McGuinness, breaks the 130mph AVERAGE LAP SPEED, that's right, average lap speed, record . . . . all whilst coming within a poofteenth of complete, leather clad, hyper speed, total obliteration on the nastiest yet most beautiful circuit on the planet.

This weekend, spare a thought for the competitors who make the pilgrimage, literally, to this sacred place of two wheeled testicle size testing . . . . fly fast on speeding wings, give it your all and may every single one of you live to fly another day.

THE BEAT - "I CONFESS" (HQ) . . . . FUCK, I LOVE THESE GUYS, THEY'RE TOURING OZ IN A FEW WEEKS AND I'M THERE WITH BELLS ON . . . . THIS IS JUST A KICKIN TALE OF REGRET AND SELF LOATHING . . . . LOOKING BACK IN CLARITY AND SHAME . . . . THE UNIVERSALITY OF THE HUMAN CONDITION, THAT'S WHAT TUNES LIKE THIS ARE ALL ABOUT !!!!

Yeah, good ol love goin south, who doesn't know that feelin, who hasn't experienced the fucked up, head spinnin vertigo of romance vanishing down the shitter . . . . the pain, the anguish, the anger, the white hot hate of your own actions, thoughts and words . . . . the realisation that it's gone forever, the momentary flash twelve years down the track that you'd risk it all, every fucking thing, for just one more crack . . . .



Then the cold, flatline of knowing that shit just ain't never, ever gonna happen . . . . anyhoo, enjoy the best of The Beat, just before they disolved and were reborn as General Public . . . . can't wait to check em out, go back in time for a while . . . . remember the good stuff, block out the bad.

***** THERE'S A CAT OUT THERE I OWE AN APOLOGY TO, FROM THE HEART, STRAIGHT UP, UNRESERVED AND WITH NO STRINGS . . . . I LET A TINY REMARK GET UP MY NOSE AND OUTTA SHAPE . . . . I THEN DID A SMARTARSE POST TO VENT MY DELICATE SPLEEN, LIKE A WIMP, A FUCKIN WUSS, A PUSSY . . . . A THINLY VEILED BITCH SESSION THAT SHOULD NEVER HAVE BEEN PUBLISHED . . . . WEAK AS PISS AND I KNOW IT.

No point removing the post, too late, damage done, stable door's open and the old grey mare's long since bolted . . . . blokes have a right to feel defensive about shit like newcomers, loudmouths, whatever . . . . protective of somethin special, somethin they feel part of and close to, lookin out for your mates, keepin an eye on your kin, call it as you see it . . . . the honest intent is lost with only words sometimes, in tandem with unbridaled enthusiasm and naivete . . . .

Anyway, too much said already, shoulda just shut my mouth/stopped typing the thought, instead, out comes Mr Sensitive, Mr Smartmouth and the rest is history . . . . I haven't ever done this so publicly before, but, it's gotta be done . . . . sorry Dave, I fucked up.

POST SCRIPT . . . . I tend to dwell on shit in 'real life' and, as I've realised, it's the same doing this blog gig, I can only answer to myself in the final analysis . . . . before I kicked this fucker off six months ago the basic ethic was to be fair dinkum, therefore, to not follow my feelings at this point was outta the question. Peace out everybody, keep em rollin.