Friday 29 March 2013

"HUNTING HARLEY'S - 1949 HYDRAGLIDE WITH ORIGINAL PAINT" . . . . ANOTHER OUTSTANDING ARCHAEOLOGICAL UNEARTHING FROM THE TODDSTER . . . . AS MUCH AS I'VE ALWAYS LOVED CUSTOM BIKES AND CARS, THERE HAS LONG BEEN A SOFTSPOT IN MY HEART FOR UNRESTORED, ORIGINAL CONDITION CLASSICS . . . . I KNOW THERE'S A BUNCH MORE OF YOU OUT THERE TOO WHO FEEL THE SAME WAY . . . . I GUESS IT'S SIMPLY THE TANGIBLE CONDUIT TO THEIR PAST.

I can totally dig a bare metal, frame up complete resto for sure, everything pristine and shining, patina and wear replaced by immaculata mechanica, pretty as a factory brochure from the day it was released, a thing of glorious but sadly sterile beauty. I did it once with a GTR Torana, it came out beautifully, even if I did have the original colour changed to Porsche Guards Red which was a huge mistake in retrospect, but it never had the soul it possessed in its original condition, kinda like a lovely motorised zombie/replicant, looks cool but isn't quite the same thing. 

For whatever reason, whether it be cars, bikes, guitars, watches, chicks, whatever, I've always been drawn to those things that show visibly the physical indicators of the life they've had, patina, the tell-tale signs of the love and care that has been bestowed upon them over time . . . . there's an honesty to it that infects me and those like me, the dings, chips, fading, stains and discoloration are all integral components of the beast's character, its steel soul, and to remove all of that for the sake of some surface level facelift is the same as a stunning and naturally glamorous middle aged woman filling her lips with plastic and having the skin on her face pulled back so taut she looks like a cat's bum.

Enough, this has skewed far enough. Just take a good look at the star of Mr Henning's latest acquisition and suck in the nuances of a piece of Milwaukee's finest in all its original, unmolested glory . . . . and hope like hell it doesn't end up being raped by some well heeled perfectionista looking for a podium finish at the local motorcycle show and shine.

THE HOODOO GURUS "KAMIKAZE PILOT" . . . . IN THE POST PUNK WORLD OF SWAMP ROCKIN, SIXTIES INSPIRED, OVERDRIVEN GRUNGE POWER POP, THE GURUS WERE KING . . . . ZEN MASTERS OF THE CATCHY LIKE SYPHILIS, THREE MINUTE KILLER DITTY, THEIR GIGS WERE ALWAYS FRANTIC AND BRILLIANT . . . . I WENT AND SAW THEM A FEW YEARS AGO . . . . YOU TEND TO FORGET JUST HOW GOOD THE GROOVY GURUS WERE, SO MANY GREAT TUNES ALL IN A ROW.

IF YOU'RE UP FOR GETTING SOME REAL QUALITY INTO YOUR C.D COLLECTION, GO GET YOUR PAWS ONTO THEIR FIRST STUDIO ALBUM, "STONEAGE ROMEOS" . . . . ENDURINGLY ENJOYABLE SHIT.

FARE THEE WELL WEE FOCUS, FIVE YEARS OF FAITHFUL SERVICE . . . . JUST ANOTHER BLAND, AMORPHOUS, MODERN CAR YOU SAY . . . . GIVE A SHIT I RETORT . . . . FIRST BRAND NEW CAGE I'VE EVER OWNED, ALL OF MY OTHER RIDES BEING FROM '71 AND EARLIER . . . . NO MODS OTHER THAN 18's, LEATHER, TINTED GLASS, AND LOWERED FOR THE CORRECT STANCE . . . . HEAT WHEN IT'S COLD AND COOL WHEN IT'S HOT AND NO FUCKING LEAKY WINDSCREEN SEALS !!!

YEP, COMES A TIME WHEN THE IMPRACTICALITIES OF OLD CARS JUST DON'T CUT THE MUSTARD ANYMORE. ONCE I JAGGED A DECENT STRAIGHT GIG I HAD NO HESITATION IN GARAGING THE '65 VALIANT, WHERE THE '70 ZC FAIRLANE AND '71 GTR HAD SAT BEFORE IT, FOR SOMETHING PRACTICAL, THE 'COOL' FACTOR OF BREAKDOWNS AND BLOWN APPOINTMENTS LOSE THEIR ALLURE . . . . THE SAME AS THE CONSIDERATIONS I TOOK INTO ACCOUNT WHEN BUYING THE PURPLE PENIS, IT'S BEEN A KILLER LITTLE TOOL, EXCEPT FOR NEEDING TO REPLACE ALL FOUR BRAKE ROTORS AT 75K AS THEY WERE MADE OF COMPRESSED BILLY GOAT'S SNOT. 130,000 KLMS AND IT'S BEEN A FUCKING HOOT . . . . TRADED IT TODAY FOR THE CURRENT MODEL, NOT ONE SINGLE MOMENT OF REGRET, WHEN IT COMES TO A RELIABLE WORK VEHICLE, YOU CAN STICK LEAKY WINDOWS, BROKEN DOOR HANDLES AND CONSTANT TINKERING UP YOUR PERIOD CORRECT ARSE . . . . THIS AIN'T 'COOL', BUT IT WORKS JUST FINE.

Wednesday 27 March 2013

BLATANTLY RIPPED FROM COC, SORRY JEFF, COULDN'T HELP MYSELF . . . . BEEN DROOLING AND DRIBBLING OVER THIS SINCE THE PRIEST POSTED IT TWO WEEKS AGO . . . . YET ANOTHER PIECE OF PERFECTION FROM THE LAND OF THE RIDING SUN . . . . OUTRAGEOUSLY PRACTICAL AND PURPOSEFUL IN EVERY RESPECT . . . . SOOOOOO FUCKING TOUGH AND SOOOOOO FREAKIN COOL, THIS IS PURE UNADULTERATED BIKE PORN . . . . SO, SPORTSTERS ARE CHICK'S RIDES ??

TAKEN FROM THE "GIRLS BIKES RULE" FILES . . . . STANCE, STYLE AND CLASS . . . . I'D LIKELY KILL FOR THIS THING . . . . WELL, AT LEAST YELL QUITE LOUDLY AND STAMP MY LITTLE FEET.

Take a decent look at this bloody Banzai 'Bombshell' and tell me about the girly bits, the shit you'd change, stuff you'd like to put on . . . . yep, thought so, not one single thing, this thing is stone cold perfect, every compact, coiled-ready-to-pounce inch of it, from the ultra sticky rubber to the thumb in a bum seat position, the dude who put this projectile together has his shit wired tight as a piccolo snare drum . . . . Jerry Branch come-fuck-me heads, titty pipes, picks big enough to pull up a B double, no bullshit, function only rear shocks and likely the same race ready front end, the carburetion thirsty enough to drain the tank within two city blocks and fuck knows what internals . . . . built for one thing and one thing only, wick the bastard up and get on it . . . . this boys and girls, is a fucking motorcycle. 
THANKS TO MR WRIGHT AT COC FOR THE REVELATION AND ENLIGHTENMENT

Tuesday 26 March 2013

PROBOT "SHAKE YOUR BLOOD" [UNCENSORED] . . . . MR KILMINSTER AND THE GROHL DUDE WAS ALWAYS GONNA BE A KICKARSE RESULT . . . . LEMMY GRAVEL-GARGLING WHILE FINGERING THE FOUR STRINGER, GROHL SMASHING THE LIVING SHIT OUT OF THE DRUMS . . . . SAW THE LEMMY BIO-PIC EARLY THIS MORNING AND IT'S FUCKING BRILLIANT, HAWKWIND AND MOTORHEAD, A 110% LEGEND . . . . GROHL, NIRVANA AND THE FOOFIGHTERS, NOTHIN ELSE NEEDS SAYING.

FILE THIS UNDER "ROCK+ROLL DISTILLED IN A BOTTLE" . . . . TOUGHER THAN DIRT, SHIT YEAH !!! 

I SELL TOP FLIGHT VINO FOR A QUID, THIS IS HOW IT GOES SOMETIMES . . . . FIVE DAYS IN NEW ZEALAND WITH OUR WINERY . . . . A COMPLETELY BEAUTIFUL BIT OF THE WORLD, PERFECT WEATHER, GREAT PISS, BONZA NOSH . . . . MY WORK BUDDIES ARE COOL PEOPLE, NOT MUCH IN COMMON WITH ME BUT GOOD FOLK NONETHELESS . . . . THE JOYS OF ONLY EVER HAVING WORKED GIGS THAT I LOVE . . . . WORKING FOR THE MAN DOESN'T MEAN SELLING YOUR SOUL

THE LAND OF THE LONG WHITE CLOUD . . . . GOTTA LOVE THE KIWIS, EXCEPT WHEN IT COMES TO RUGBY . . . . BEEN THERE THREE TIMES NOW . . . . GOD I LOVE WINE, IT TELLS A STORY IN EVERY GLASS
TEN YEAR VERTICAL OF OUR 'TE MUNA' PINOT NOIR . . . . LIKE OLD BIKES, WHEN IT'S GOOD, IT'S GREAT
POST TASTING, A RELAXED FEED AT THE LOCAL PUB . . . . NIGHTS ARE ALL ABOUT EXCESS INTAKE
'MARTINBOROUGH HOTEL' IN MARTINBOROUGH . . . . HOME OF OUR MOB'S GREATEST VINEYARDS
UNLIKE OZ, THE SKIES ARE DEVOID OF EUCALYPT VAPOUR . . . . ABSOLUTELY FUCKING CRYSTAL CLEAR

Sunday 17 March 2013

"MY MATE'S MARVELOUSLY MAGICAL MOTORCYCLE MUSEUM" . . . . IN THE BACKWOODS OF SOMEWHERE NEAR SOMETHING LURKS A SERIOUS MAN-CAVE STUFFED TO THE EYEBALLS WITH TERRIFICALLY TASTY TWO WHEELED TREASURES . . . . A COMPACT YET EXCELLENT COLLECTION OF SOME TRULY CLASSIC MOSHEENS . . . . ON A STINKING HOT ARVO I PUNTED THE 'PURPLE PENIS' OUT TO THE PONDEROSA TO PONDER AND PERVE . . . . I CAME, I SAW, I DROOLED !!!

I've had the pleasure of knowing Geoff for nearly twenty five years, a fair dinkum Aussie Renaissance Bloke, a brain the size of a planet, a heart as big as an ox, staunch and true, no bullshit and a spirit and soul that you just don't come across too often, an old school gent by any measure. It was the 'G' who had been in my ear for years to get with the program and park my arse on one of Milwaukee's finest, despite my well known and long held aversion to actually ever owning one given my predilection for the offspring of Edward Turner's Speed Twin . . . . and it was the Big Unit who greeted me with 'about bloody time' when I strode into Morgan and Wacker to slap down the reddies for the deposit on the Skirtster, he also happens to be one of the finest and most knowledgeable parts specialists in the country, known and respected across this wide, brown land as a great bloke with a capacious mind for part numbers from Knuckles to Twin Cams and every fucking thing in between, and what they've superseded into or what can do exactly the same job, a freak and a doyen of the marque and its century plus history.

I reckon the reasons that drew us together initially were twofold, we loved music, comedy, trivia, history, film and other ephemera and, despite our individual personal preferences for choice of sickle, we both just loved motorcycles, all of them, good, bad and indifferent, if the fucker had two wheels and a motor, we were all over finding out more about it and had been since childhood . . . . nothing's changed one jot, other than now, instead of owning one everyday ride and some form of shovel project jigger, he has recently accumulated this splendid little flock of classics that really reflect his broad spectrum passion for bikes and their place in his life. He's hunted them all down himself over the last eighteen months, all from the States, all utterly authentic, and all in fine fettle, using his super fund with a view to eventually selling a few to make an honest profit . . . . given that his so-called fund was going rapidly tits up things have turned out pretty bloody well I think . . . . couldn't happen to a nicer chap !!! Thanks for the treat mate, see you soon.

For the record, the line-up consists of the following - 1946 Indian Chief, 1957 Panhead, 1969 U.S spec T150 Trident, [yes, they came with the Breadbox tank], 1973 Kawasaki Z1A 900 and a 1982 FLH . . . . anyone who knows their shit will realise the significance of each model and why they have earned their spot on the floor of the shed, anyone who doesn't probably needs to start doing more than just following blogs and looking at pretty pictures . . . . funny thing, the only one that doesn't drop any oil is . . . . that's right, you guessed it, the Trumpy . . . . the irony was not lost on either of us.

"SOME DAYS ARE DIAMONDS" . . . . AFTER NEARLY TWO WRETCHED MONTHS OF RAIN AND CLOUDY SKIES, WE GET A CRACKER LIKE THIS . . . . THE NAME 'SURFERS PARADISE' ALMOST SEEMS APPLICABLE ON THIS PRISTINE, MAGIC MORNING . . . . AFTER LAST NIGHT'S BLAST AROUND THE HINTERLAND I JUST KNEW THAT IT WAS GOING TO BE ON THE ROAD AT A SPARROW'S FART COME SUN-UP . . . . SIX A.M AND THE PURPLE PENIS AND I WERE AWAY.

IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT YOU'RE RIDING, REALLY, IT DOESN'T, IF YOU'RE A LOVER OF THE TWO WHEELED MODUS OPARANDI, THESE ARE THE DAYS YOU LIVE FOR, THE ONES THAT MAKE UP FOR THE SHIT WEATHER, THE ARSECLOWN CAGERS AND ALL THE DOWNTIME DUE TO SCOOT MALFUNCTIONS THAT HAVE PRECEDED IT, ONLY A RIDER KNOWS THAT FEELING, IT ALL LINES UP PERFECTLY, YOU, THE BIKE, THE ROAD AND . . . . THE FUCKING BRILLIANT BLUE SKIES SHINING DOWN ON YOU AS THE PAIR OF YOU, BIKE AND RIDER AS ONE ENTITY, MAKE YOUR WAY TO SOMEWHERE OR NOWHERE AT ALL, THE OLD CLICHE ABOUT THE JOURNEY NOT THE DESTINATION COULD NOT BE MADE MORE MANIFEST THAN ON A DAY SUCH AS THIS.

I had the most awesome time this morning, me and the Purple Penis, 24 carat joy, from 6.00 a.m until I rolled into the driveway some four hours later, everything was as good as it gets, the road, the traffic, the feeling, all running at 110%, the shit we all crave and devote our lives to chasing and capturing no matter how fleeting it can be . . . . and to see the frequently turgid, vapid and vacuous town in which I reside looking so immaculate and almost virginally innocent with all the usually visible scum washed clean away, was a real 'inner glow' moment, the beach, or what's left of it, the skyscraping residential towers, happy folk out and about being, well, happy, even if only for one short day, it was fucking wonderful . . . . and come 1.00 p.m this arvo, I'll be doing it all over again, out to catch up with Geoff, Roscoe and company at Geoff's big arsed shed about an hour's ride from here, the mountain roads are going to be orgasmic, not even the kooks and the HOG members are gonna fuck my shit up today, this is perfection !!!
SATISFACTION . . . . PARKED UP 400m FROM THE BEACH, LOOKING EAST INTO A BRILLIANT MORNING
AFTER THREE AND A BIT HOURS IN THE SADDLE . . . . THE INTERNATIONAL BREAKFAST OF CHAMPIONS !!!!

Saturday 16 March 2013

"BOSOZOKU 暴走族 MOTORCYCLE GANGS FROM JAPAN" - FROM THE CREW WHO BROUGHT US 'CHOPPERTOWN', 'BRITTOWN' AND 'THE HARBORTOWN BOBBER' . . . . ONE WORLD STUDIOS HAVE PUT THIS DOCO TOGETHER ON THE UNIQUELY JAPANESE BIKE CULTURE SUB-SECT THAT HAS BEEN AROUND FOR YONKS . . . . I CAN REMEMBER THE FIRST TIME I SAW IT WAS IN 'THE FACE' IN THE EARLY EIGHTIES . . . . JUDGING BY THIS FOOTAGE, IT SHOULD BE A REAL HOOT !!!

"SAYONARA SPEED TRIBES" . . . . FROM WAY BEFORE THE JAPANESE CHOPPY SCENE.

I really know relatively little about them other than they were once upon a time legit crazy bastards, the bikes, the mass rides, constant blues with the fuzz, they were fightin, fartin and fucking their way across Japan's major urban centres, I think a bunch of whities in the U.K, Europe, the Staes and Australia thought they were just soft boys playing dress ups . . . . how wrong could you be, don't go mistaking the Boso Boyos for New Romantics, they were their very own real deal and definitely not to be fucked with, that much I do know. Anyhoo, check this shit out and then go buy the entire movie when the One World Studio dudes release the sucker a bit later on . . . . hot in the city tonight !!!!

NOTHING SUCCEEDS LIKE EXCESS . . . . AND MIKEEYRAT LOVES HIS FORDS . . . . THE RANCHERO LIVES IN A LARGE BOX AND IS BASICALLY NOCTURNAL . . . . ENCHILADAS ARE DELICIOUS, EXTRA SOUR CREAM AND DOUBLE JALAPENOS RESULT IN HEARTBURN . . . . THE GIRLS WERE GETTIN MIGHTY OBSTREPEROUS WHILE THE GUARD DOG SNOOZED . . . . FOUR PEOPLE, FOUR BOTTLES OF VINO, A CASE OF BEERS AND ATTENDANT DELIGHTS . . . . WELL, I'M GOIN UP THE COUNTRY.

Friday 15 March 2013

I WENT TO A FUNERAL TODAY FOR A BLOKE WHO I SAW ONLY FOUR WEEKS AGO, LIFE OF THE PARTY, GENUINELY NICE FELLA . . . . STABBED HIMSELF IN THE HEART THREE TIMES, TOLD THE PARAMEDICS TO LET HIM DIE . . . . I THOUGHT AT THE AGE OF FIFTY I WOULD'VE SEEN THE LAST OF THE MANY SUICIDES THAT HAVE INFECTED MY LIFE, WRONG . . . . IT'S ALWAYS THE FOLK YOU THINK MOST UNLIKELY . . . . IF YOU'RE DEPRESSED, TELL YOUR FUCKING MATES !!!

THESE ARE THE TWO SONGS HIS FAMILY CHOSE TO PLAY AT THE SERVICE . . . . LOVE YA PETE AND WILL MISS YOU ALWAYS . . . . BUT IF YOU WERE STILL HERE, I'D SLAP YOU IN THE FACE !!!
IT'S ALWAYS THE PEOPLE LEFT BEHIND WHO PAY THE LIFELONG PENALTY FOR SUICIDE, AND, HAVING BEEN AT THE BOTTOM OF A BLACK HOLE WITH A BIG BLACK DOG ON BOTH SHOULDERS SOME EIGHT YEARS AGO, I KNOW FIRST HAND, ON MEDS FOR LIFE BUT AT LEAST I'M STABLE AND HAPPY . . . . IT'S EASY TO AVOID THIS SHIT IN MOST INSTANCES, PUT YOUR TRUST IN THOSE YOU LOVE AND SEE A QUACK, THINGS CAN TURN AROUND . . . . IT JUST PISSES ME OFF . . . . COMMUNICATE . . . . PLEASE.

Thursday 14 March 2013

"4th BROOKLYN INVITATIONAL 2012" ['DOUGCRAIG WHISTLER'] . . . . SOME SERIOUSLY DECENT STILLS FROM LAST YEAR'S BROOKLYN GIG, COVERING WHAT SEEMS LIKE A GOODLY AMOUNT OF ENTRANTS AND PUNTERS RIDES . . . . FROM WHAT I'VE SEEN ON POOTUBE, ON BLOGS AND IN MAGS THE LAST FEW YEARS I LOVE THE FOCUS ON THE BIKES ALMOST AS 'ART' IN THE SETUP AND CONTEXT OF THIS GIG . . . . AND IT'S SLAP-BANG IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BIG APPLE !!!!

I still wanna get my arse over to Born Free, I'd love to go to the Hippy Killer Hoedown, do the ride out to the Love Cycles bash, the delights of the Mooneyes gig in Yokohama, and so many more besides, but there is something that really draws me to the nature and appeal of this groundbreaking show in Noo Yoik, it's a bit hard to describe, maybe it's a combination of serious and low-key, perhaps my impression of it being just a tad more 'hardcore' than the others, or maybe it's simply down to the fact it's in the Big Apple, the one city I want to visit before all others, I dunno . . . . fuck, like I said, difficult to put my finger on it, so I'll stop even trying, apart from saying there are some great shots in this pastiche from Mr Doug Craig Whistler and it's fully worth taking the time to check it out . . . . I just keep expecting the Ramones to suddenly appear in shot and Indian Larry, English Don and The Steg to turn up on their respective steeds, but I'm weird like that I guess.

Wednesday 13 March 2013

"A BORING OLD FART WHO LIKES WHAT HE LIKES" . . . . A MATE OF MINE DREW MY ATTENTION TO THE FACT THAT ALL MY BIKES AND CARS HAVE ALWAYS LOOKED KINDA THE SAME, HE SAID IT IN A SEMI DEROGATORY, TAKING THE PISS KINDA WAY . . . . BUT HE'S RIGHT, THEY DO AND HAVE . . . . I THINK I DISCOVERED EARLY ON IN LIFE THAT I DIG A CERTAIN STYLE AND TYPE OF PROPULSION AND THAT'S JUST HOW IT IS . . . . I DON'T THINK I WOULD'VE MADE A HIPPIE.

SAME AS BEING COMFORTABLE WEARING THE SAME OLD BORING SHIT I'VE BEEN DOING SINCE MY MIDDLE TEENAGE YEARS, ALL INFLUENCED I GUESS BY WHAT I SEE AS CLASSIC, HONEST, OLD SCHOOL STUFF, FROM THE GLORY DAYS OF WWII AND THE POST WAR YEARS INTO THE BEGINNINGS OF THE ROCK AND ROLL ERA, SURE, I'VE DONE THE PUNK THING, FLIRTED WITH THE SKA CAPER, EVEN THE JOY DIVISION INSPIRED 'ALL BLACK AND GREY' SAD FUCKER THING . . . . HOWEVER, I'VE ALWAYS ENDED UP BACK AT THE SAME OLD SHIT, WELL GEOFF, FUCK IT MATE, I YAM WHAT I YAM WHAT I YAM . . . . MAYBE THAT'S WHY THE SOON TO COMMENCE CONSTRUCTION OF PROJECT SHOVELLER IS GOING TO BE SUCH A CHALLENGE FOR ME STYLISTICALLY SPEAKING, BREAKING OUT OF THE SAFETY ZONE OF WIDE, LOWSLUNG BARS, STANDARD RAKE, SWINGARM ARSE-END, 'PERIOD CORRECTNESS' . . . . BRING ON THE CHOPPY JIGGER I SAY . . . . BETTER LATE THAN NEVER I RECKON.
TWO OF MY BIKES, NEARLY TWENTY FIVE YEARS APART, DEFINITELY A SIMILARITY OF THEME GOING ON.

SUICIDAL TENDENCIES "WAR INSIDE MY HEAD" + "POSSESSED TO SKATE" . . . . WHAT A FUCKING BAND, SPAWNED FROM THE LOCALE THAT BEGAT THE 'DOGTOWN' SKATE RATS NEARLY TEN YEARS BEFORE . . . . BOTH INFLUENTIAL AND NOTORIOUS IN THEIR FORMATIVE YEARS, THEY FREAKED THE SHIT OUT OF THE SQUARES . . . . HAVEN'T SEEN EM LIVE SINCE 1998 BUT AFTER CHECKING OUT METALLICA, REMINDED ME HOW FUCKING GREAT THEY ARE, VATOS LOCO !!!

I had the privilege and pleasure of interviewing Mike Muir once, a live phone link from the States to here in Oz, all of the 'journos', of which I wasn't one by any stretch of a vivid imagination, just a rock dude with a skate/bike history who worked for a local street mag and owned a live blues bar, had five whole minutes to fire their questions at the younger brother of Dogtown Skates founder and OG Z-Boy, Jim 'Red Dog' Muir, before being told to get the fuck off, your time is up . . . . somehow or another, at my gushing instigation if I recall correctly, we got onto the subject of Dogtown and skating, Santa Monica/Venice, then lowriders, cars, bikes, blah, blah, blah, Mike Muir told his manager-come-co-ordinator something like half a dozen times over the next thirty odd minutes to 'just chill out, I'm talkin to someone', 'but Mr Muir, there are another twenty people waiting' she said the first couple of times, after that it simply became 'Mike, that's fifteen minutes', 'Mike, that's twenty minutes' . . . . I've met a shitload of famous folk in my time, just have, simple, no brag, just a fact, just call it an accidental occupational hazzard, and Mike Muir is at the top of the list when it comes to being real, gracious, respectful, stoked, grounded and seemingly not caught up in his own hype, I sincerely hope he's a happy chappy these days and still rushing from everything he's been part of for the last thirty five years . . . . possessed to skate, possessed to rock . . . . no fucking wonder !!!!

A LITTLE SHOVEL ACTION THAT ROSCOE COOKED UP OVER THE LAST FEW OF WEEKS . . . . BRING IT IN CHEAP FROM THE STATES, STRIP IT DOWN PRONTO . . . . SORT THE DONK OUT AND GET IT RUNNING AS IT SHOULD . . . . WORK WITH WHAT HE'S GOT AS FAR AS CYCLE PARTS GO, CHUCK TEN TONS OF EXTRANEOUS SHIT . . . . SOME FRESH, WHITE-HOT FLAMES ON THE BOBS AND GUARDS, FAB UP SOME MID RISE PIPES, WRAP AND ROLL EM . . . . AND JOB'S A GOODUN !!!

Monday 11 March 2013

TWO OF THE CREW WHO I RESPECT PT 1 . . . . INDEPENDENTLY INDEPENDENT, PAID THEIR DUES, DONE THE HARD YARDS, NOTHING TO PROVE, DOING THEY'RE OWN TRIP . . . . A COUPLE OF BLOKES I'VE COME TO LOVE AND RESPECT OVER THE LAST COUPLE OF YEARS, STAUNCH AND TRUE, TRIED AND TESTED . . . . EXQUISITE SKILLS, COMPLETE COMMITMENT AND DEEP SEATED PASSION . . . . TIM 'LOVELESS' BAILEY AND ROSCOE BUCHANAN . . . . HOLD FAST, STAY TRUE.

Timmy Bailey from the Loveless Engineering blog is a bike nutter through and through, was, is and always will be, not just a specific marque or style, bikes, anything with a motor between the frame and the wheels and he's salivating and flowing the memories from his own past, not regurgitated, homogenized, second-hand tales from others mouths, rather from his perspective and his experiences, the way he recalls it, warts and all. He also happens to be a bloke who turns out some superb race and road machinery from his mancave in the deep forests of Derbyshire, scooters, MZ two stroke screamers, vee twin thumpers, flat twin buzz bombs and Italian stallions, all of the highest level of workmanship and construction. In cahoots with his trusty tea swilling sidekick Dangerman, this football, soccer to all us Aussies and Seppos, mad soul brother is one guy whose shit you really have to check out . . . . Tim 'Loveymucker' Bailey, blood group . . . . Castrol 'R' positive.
Roscoe Buchanan, Kiwi transplant, Triple 6 Terrorist, all round throttlefreak, hotshoe hellraiser and ace wrencher on anything with an infernally combusting powerplant, sit this bro on something with two wheels and a motor and he's putting it to the ultimate test straight up. A preference for ballistic Buells and quarter mile rockets of recent times, Roscoe can wrestle em as well as massage the things into peak performance, patient and methodical, even the mysterious gremlins of electrickery are soon tamed and channeled in the right direction when Mr Buchanan is on the job . . . . Hogglies, Kwakas, Hondas, Suzies, Euro stuff, old Pommy kit, whatever the case maybe, the inked up Trans Tasman tyro will have it fettled and finished without any drama, whether it's building a chop from the ground up or reconstructing the crusty old Harmon horror you've just disintegrated all over the road, Roscoe's got the requisite skills and attention to detail to fix it not fuck it.  

Lovey, Roscoe . . . . love ya large bro-dude-men . . . . my kind of peoples for sure !!!!

Sunday 10 March 2013

SIX WEEKS OF CONSTANT RAIN, VARYING BETWEEN FULL-ON DOWNPOURS TO ANNOYINGLY INCONVENIENT DRIZZLE . . . . I DON'T MIND RIDING IN THE RAIN BUT EVER SINCE I BECAME THE ROUND COUNT AND OUTGREW MY 40 YEAR OLD, HAND-ME-DOWN BELSTAFF AND HAD SOME SCUMDOG SWIPE MY GOGGLES IT'S BEEN A PAIN IN THE ARSE . . . . THIS WAS THE FIRST SATURDAY NIGHT MINUS RAIN . . . . SO I GRABBED THE PURPLE PENIS BY THE BALLS !!!

I actually love riding in the rain when I'm sorted for it, Belstaff, rain duds, goggles and I'm good to go, haven't worn a full-face for years but thinking of getting one for the this winter, not that it's ever really too cold up here in pissing rain Queensland, but yeah, the wet ain't a concern as long as I'm dry and the stinky, greasy old waxed cotton Trialmaster that I inherited in 1991 or thereabouts has been a perfect partner all these years . . . . tragically, now I've officially become a fat count it's down for the count, the Halcyon's got stolen just before New Year's Eve and I still haven't replaced my old yellow rain strides so it's just been all too fucking hard, motivation and desire killed in the arse for the best part of two months constant rain and sorrow.

Tonight was a welcome change, rode up the highway, headed up and over the mountain, through the 'Army Town' of Canungra, up to Beenleigh, back down the highway, stopped by the river near where I went to school light years ago, snapped two half arsed pics, and came home . . . . total distance about 80 klms, only a wee blast really but my sanity is fully restored . . . . easy as that.
 ABOVE, THE PRETTY LIGHTS AND NIGHTSCAPE OF SUFFERERS PARASITE . . . . NICE FROM A DISTANCE BUT UP CLOSE IT STINKS OF SOCIETAL DECAY AND BAD MONEY
ATTEMPTED THE LANDSCAPE SHOT WITH INTERGALACTIC TELECOMMUNICATIONS DEVICE, PRETTY FUCKING AVERAGE . . . . THE TIDE WAS RUNNING SUPER HIGH IN THE RIVER

Friday 8 March 2013

DEAD KENNEDY'S "CALIFORNIA UBER ALLES" . . . . CRACKING TUNE FROM THE KINGS OF CALI PUNK, TIMELESS, THOUGHT PROVOKING, INSIGHTFUL AND NOT A FAVOURITE OF A ONE TIME GOVERNOR . . . . ALWAYS THOUGHT IT SAD BUT FUNNY HOW MANY PUNKS AND SKINS USED TO DRAW NAZI LIKE PARALLELS WITH THESE GUYS TO SUIT THEIR OWN TWISTED ENDS . . . . WHEN NOTHING COULD'VE BEEN FURTHER FROM THE TRUTH . . . . TO HEAR YOU HAVE TO LISTEN.

A BRILLIANT CLIP BY SOME DUDE USING THE ORIGINAL L.P SOUNDTRACK SET AGAINST HIS OWN IMAGES AND VARIOUS BITS OF LIVE FOOTAGE . . . . JELLO AND THE GANG, CRANK IT UP TO TEN AND SOAK IT IN !!!

"MOTORCYCLE FILM - PORTRAIT OF DOOM" ['DANIEL THOMAS' POOTUBE] . . . . ANOTHER MINI-DOC FROM NOW 'DEATH SCIENTIST' AND LENSMAN EXTRAORDINAIRE DANIEL THOMAS . . . . I DIG THE DOOM AND ALWAYS ENJOY HIS CONTRIBUTIONS IN 'SHOW CLASS' BUT I HAVE AN ULTERIOR MOTIVE FOR SHOWING THIS . . . . I LOVE AND RESPECT THE WHOLE POST PUNK INSPIRED D.I.Y APPROACH TO MUSIC, ART, BUSINESS AND LIFE . . . . LIVE YOUR LIFE YOUR WAY.

IF SOMEONE TELLS YOU "NO, YOU CAN'T DO THAT", AFTER YOU'VE TOLD THEM TO FUCK THEMSELVES, YOU SIMPLY TURN AROUND, MAKE A DECISION AND SET ABOUT THE PROCESS OF DOING THE BLOODY THING YOURSELF, THAT'S HOW EASY IT IS, BEING TOLD THAT SOMETHING IS UNACHIEVABLE IS ALL THE REASON YOU NEED TO GO ABOUT PROVING THE NAY-SAYERS WRONG AND GETTING THE JOB DONE . . . . EVEN IF HUGE SUCCESS IS NEVER ENCOUNTERED, HAVING A SERIOUS CRACK AND GIVING A THING THAT'S ENTIRELY OF YOUR OWN MAKING A BIG SHOVE IS WORTH ITS WEIGHT IN SELF SATISFACTION, THE POWER OF ONE IS PRETTY FUCKING POTENT WHEN FOCUSED AND DRIVEN . . . . I'VE DONE IT WITH THREE BANDS, ONE BLUES BAR AND ONE BIKE SHOP AND ALTHOUGH NOT ONE EVER GOT TO QUITE THE HEIGHTS I HAD ENVISIONED, I WOULDN'T CHANGE A FUCKING THING, THE SHEER JOY AND THRILL OF DOING YOUR OWN TRIP IS WORTH ALL THE TRAUMA, DRAMA AND STRIFE . . . . IF ZAC DOOM AND A HOST OF OTHERS CAN DO IT, SO CAN YOU . . . . LIVE FREE BROTHERS AND SISTERS.

Tuesday 5 March 2013

"CAFE RACER - 131" JIM'S SPEED EDITION H-D" ['HARLEYRACINGBIKE'] . . . . BEEN OUT SEEKING PIPE INSPIRATION LATELY, GOT A YEARNING FOR TITANIUM BUT IT'S SO FUCKING EXPENSIVE FOR THE CORRECT GRADE TUBE . . . . HAVE LOVED THE SEGMENTED LOOK FOR AGES, ANYTHING THAT SHOWCASES THE CREATORS TALENT AND ART GIVES ME THE HORN . . . . FELL ONTO THIS BIG INCH MISSILE AND THOUGHT IT PRETTY BLOODY COOL . . . . BUT WAIT, THERE'S MORE !!!

. . . . AND THE MORE IN THIS CASE IS ALL ABOUT LESS.

I RECTION IT'S ONE REALLY COOL LOOKIN LOW LEVEL LAND ROCKET, MONSTER JIM'S MOTORVATOR WITH OPEN PRIMARY NEATLY JAMMED IN BETWEEN THE MONOSHOCK FRAME RAILS, GARGANTUAN, PIGEON SUCKING BELLMOUTH, NICELY THOUGHT OUT AND SEEMINGLY BEAUTIFULLY EXECUTED, TOTAL HORN PIPES AND CANS, WHEEL SELECTION THAT SUITS, SCHMICK LINES ON THE CUTE SEAT/DUCKTAIL CAPER, TANK PROFILE THAT HARMONISES PERFECTLY ATOP THE BIG TWIN, FULL TILT RACE POSITION CLIP-ONS, FRONT ANCHORS THAT COULD PULL UP THE USS NIMITZ, A FUCKING TOTALLY COOL THING INDEED . . . . WHAT ELSE COULD YOU WANT ???

HOWEVER, THE THING THAT REALLY IMPRESSES ME THE MOST . . . . HIS STARTING TECHNIQUE . . . . PUSH THE BUZZER, A COUPLE OF GENTLE BLIPS ON THE TWIST GRIP AND IT'S AWAY, GROWLING LIKE A SASQUATCH ON STEROIDS AND AMPHETAMINES, ALL LATENT, RELAXED MUSCLE, READY TO BE UNLEASHED IN TYRE DESTROYING OUTPUT SHOULD THE OCCASION ARISE . . . . YOU KNOW IT'S THERE, IT'S IMPLICIT BY VIRTUE OF UNDERSTATEMENT RATHER THAN ANY OVERTLY 'BLOKEY', SIXTEEN YEAR OLD SCHOOLBOY, PREMATURE EJACULATION, MINE'S BIGGER THAN YOURS, STYLE OF FIRING THE FUCKER UP, WINDING THE THROTTLE ON UNTIL VALVE BOUNCE IS ACHIEVED, TOP-END COMPONENTS ARE INITIALLY STARVED OF LUBRICANT AND EVERYONE WITHIN EARSHOT IS DEAFENED AND LEFT MUTTERING, 'WHAT A FUCKING KNOB !!!' . . . . WELL, THAT'S WHAT ALWAYS GOES THROUGH MY MIND.

I LOVE EXCESS DISPLAYS OF HORSEPOWER  AS MUCH AS THE NEXT BLOKE, IT'S THE MOST SIGNIFICANT AND VISCERAL PART OF THE WHOLE BIKE/CAR EXPERIENCE, THE KNOWLEDGE THAT BETWEEN YOUR HAIRY, WHITE LEGS SITS AN ENGINE THAT COULD PEEL PAINT OFF THE NEXT DOOR NEIGHBOUR'S CEILING AT THE FLICK OF A WRIST OR STAB OF THE HOOF . . . . BUT ISN'T THE INSTANT CANING OF SAID POWERPLANT JUST TO HAVE ANY SURROUNDING LIFEFORMS EITHER FLY, RUN OR CRAWL AWAY, OR THINK OUT LOUD OR TO THEMSELVES, 'WHAT A FUCKING RETARD WANKER' JUST A BIT OBVIOUS . . . . ARE YOU NOT CONFIDENT IN THE POWERFULLY SUBTLE NOISE AND ALARM STARTING BOTTOM END THUMP OF YOUR PRIDE AND JOY TO IMPRESS THOSE WHO GIVE A FUCK WITHOUT HAVING TO NAIL IT INTO MOTOR DESTROYING REDLINE BEFORE THE FUCKER IS EVEN CIRCULATING ITS LIFEBLOOD PROPERLY, IS THE FACT YOU LOOK LIKE A COMPLETE COCKHEAD NEVER ENOUGH TO CONTAIN THE FLOOD OF SEMEN INTO YOUR TROUSERS . . . . I THOUGHT NOT. LIKE I'VE SAID ON PREVIOUS OCCASIONS, LESS IS NEARLY ALWAYS MORE, DON'T GIVE THE GAME AWAY BEFORE THE KICK-OFF . . . . WALK SOFTLY AND CARRY A BIG STICK . . . . OR JUST CONTINUE BEING A COPYBOOK ARSECLOWN . . . . WHATEVER.

HEAVY METAL . . . . THESE ARE TWO OF MY FAVOURITE THINGS . . . . I LOVE IT WHEN SILVER STARTS TO GET OLD AND BEAT UP, PATINA AND BEYOND . . . . NEVER BEEN ONE FOR LOTS OF JEWELLERY, TWO RINGS, AN EARRING AND A WATCH, THAT'S IT . . . . PURPLE'S ALWAYS BEEN MY FAVOURITE COLOUR . . . . AMETHYST JIGGER FROM 'THE GREAT FROG' IN LONDON, PINKY BAND FROM A FLEA MARKET THIRTY YEARS AGO . . . . FINGERS FROM A BUNCH OF FUCKING BANANAS

Weird, first thing I did when I left school at the end of 1979 was get my ear pierced properly instead of jamming safety pins in it, obviously I was instantly a 'poofta' or a queer, cause only a homosexual would wear an earring, in fact if you had it in your left lobe you were most definitely riding the chocolate cha-cha, or so the sadly misguided urban, macho man myth would have had everyone believe . . . . the weird shit is that these days I feel like I don't even have my ear pierced when I see folk with multiple things hanging off and outta them, body mods and all the other stuff, back then ink was pretty fucking rad as well, real social outcast stuff, bikers, sailors, rockers, sharpies and a few other counter-cultural sub-groups, even when I got my first work done in '92 . . . . thank fuck things have changed as far as perceptions and acceptance goes . . . . it's a bit of a bummer though when you got librarians, ballerinas and accountants emblazoned with body art, not cause they shouldn't . . . . it's just lost its impact I guess . . . . whatever, fuck it, be free, do your thing . . . . we're all sheep one way or t'other in the final analysis . . . . baaaaa, baaaaaa . . . . maaaaaaa.
EVERY BLOKE SHOULD BE ALLOWED TO PICK HIS OWN RING . . . . IT'S NATURAL
MY 88 YEAR OLD MOTHER CALLS IT A 'CORGANANNY' . . . . MUM, WHAT THE FUCK ???

Sunday 3 March 2013

"SMALL CITY CYCLES: BORN FREE 4 VIDEO" . . . . THIS VID WAS CIRCULATING IN THE LEAD-UP TO BF4 AND IT'S POPPED AGAIN JUST NOW . . . . WHY HAVE I GIVEN IT AN AIRING HERE . . . . BECAUSE TODD ASIN, THE BIG WHEEL AT SMALL CITY CYCLES, BUILDS SUPER SANO TRUMPY CHOPS THAT MAINTAIN THEIR SENSE OF BRITISHNESS WITH TOTAL PANACHE . . . . THE BIGGEST MISTAKE SOME BUILDERS MAKE IS TRYING TOO HARD TO TURN EM INTO HARLEYS AESTHETICALLY.

Mr Asin has definitely got a bead on getting it wired when it comes to cutting up and reconstructing classic era Trumpies and Brit bikes, all of the work done by his own talented paws, the end results are always lithe and lean and very much reflective of their lineage, as opposed to their Yankee V-Twin cousins, from the heart of the donk to the choice of front end, frame and wheel/tire selection, they are always clean, uncluttered and proudly of Pommy extraction . . . . along with practitioners such as Mike Davis, Kim Boyle, Pete Stansfield and some other supremely gifted dudes, these guys are consistently capable of respecting the nature of what it is that delineates a Pommy parallel twin in all it's mid sized splendour from the far more sizeable presence of the Milwaukee marvel, instead of those who do their very best to attempt prostituting the former into a pissweak interpretation of the latter . . . . it's always been a observation of mine that many British bike chops ultimately end up looking like a bag of shit simply because the owner/builder really wanted a Harley in the first place and had difficulty getting their heart and head around the fact that the Twain shall never meet. It is what it is, let it be that way and work with what you've got rather than what you haven't, each separate sickle to be taken and evolved on its own merits, it'll always yield the best end results . . . . love your work Todd !!!

Saturday 2 March 2013

"MORE CHINS THAN A CHINESE PHONE BOOK - THE RETURN OF THE ROUND COUNT" . . . . SO, LATE LAST YEAR ONE OF MY GOOD MATES WHO I'VE KNOWN SINCE WE WERE AT UNI TOGETHER CELEBRATED HIS 50th . . . . DOCTOR PIERRE BODIE, THE KING OF CAUSTIC, THE SUPER CYNICAL SCIMITAR, THE DOYEN OF DEADPAN AND ONE TIME SINGER IN MID EIGHTIES SUPER GROUP 'THE ZOO MUSIC GIRLS' . . . . HE WAS A DRIPPY DICK DOCTOR BY DAY . . . . ULTRA GROOVER BY NIGHT

TWO KIDS FROM THE CLASS OF '79 START QLD UNI IN 1980, ONE DOING MEDICINE, THE OTHER A HISTORY AND ENGLISH B.A, ONE FINISHES, GRADUATES, BECOMES A SPECIALIST VENEREOLOGIST, THE OTHER DROPS OUT AND BECOMES A FAIRLY SUCCESSFUL INDEPENDENT MUSO. THE PEARBODY WAS, AND IS, A CRACK UP DUDE, CYNICISM AND SARCASM A HOUSE SPECIALTY, FUCK SERVING IT COLD, THE PEAR ALWAYS HAD IT GO OUT ON A RED-HOT PLATE OF SIZZLING, EGO CRUSHING VERBIAGE THAT NEVER FAILED TO FIND ITS TARGET . . . . WE SAW HUNDREDS OF BANDS TOGETHER ALONG WITH MY DEAREST MATE, I.B, OVER A PERIOD OF A DECADE AND MORE, HE HELPED ME OUT WHEN MY BRAIN UNRAVELED AFTER DOING TOO MUCH OF EVERYTHING FOR TOO FUCKING LONG, HE WAS AND IS A TOTAL ONE-OFF UNIT AND IT WAS GREAT TO HOOK UP TO HELP HIM CELEBRATE HIS 50th.

IN THE SHOTS BELOW I'M JAMMING WITH THE DOKTOR ON JOY DIVISION'S 'TRANSMISSION', OR AT LEAST I THINK, THE PEAR LEADING THE VOCALS AND ME ON THE KILLER CHORUS, IT WAS A MONSTER HOOT AND FOR EVERY INCH THAT HE LOOKS SUAVE AND SVELTE, I LOOK THE FULL FAT COUNT, BUT A HAPPY ONE . . . . IN THE OTHER SHOT IS MY 'BROTHER' I.B AND HIS GORGEOUS LADY WIFE JANE AND AT THE BOTTOM . . . . SOME FUCKING OBSCURE SHOT OF MYSELF AND THE BODY OF A PEAR AT SOME GIG IN 1991 WHERE I HAD TO BORROW A JACKET TO ATTEND, NOT LONG BEFORE I HAD TO ABANDON LIFE FOR EIGHTEEN MONTHS TO 'GET WELL' . . . . BUT THAT'S A WHOLE OTHER BUCKET OF SHIT.

THE DUDE WHO WROTE THE TUNE I GUESTED VOCALS ON FEATURED ON THE PAGE FROM WHEREVER IT IS, THE EVIL TWISTED DR ADAM INGLIS, IS THE GUY ON THE RIGHT OF THE PARTY SHOT ON GUITAR, STILL THE LEFT FIELD, UNDERGROUND FREAK AND STILL ON CALL AT THE LOCAL A+E DEPARTMENT SAVING THE LIVES OF FUCKED UP RIDERS AND PARTY CRITTERS ON A WEEKLY BASIS. WE ALL WERE, AND ARE, TOTALLY DIFFERENT PEOPLE BUT NOTHING REALLY CHANGES WHEN IT COMES TO THE STUFF THAT MATTERS AND THE FOLKS WE LOVE, REAL, ENDURING FRIENDSHIP IS TOUGHER THAN DIRT . . . . PEARBODY, YOU ROCK !!!

Friday 1 March 2013

SNOOP DOGG - "WHO AM I" (WHATS MY NAME) [HD] . . . . WHAT'S MY MUTHAFUCKIN NAME, YEAH, YEAH . . . . ODDLY ENOUGH THIS TIMELESS HIPPIN-HOPPIN, RIGHTEOUS RAP DROPPIN, KILLER RHYME POPPIN GEM ALWAYS REMINDS ME OF MY EX-WIFE . . . . GO FIGURE, BUT IT'S ALL GOOD, SHE WAS COOL CHILLIN BACK THEN, FO SHO . . . . MAN, TIME FLIES BY AT LIGHT SPEED THE OLDER YOU GET, HEARD THIS TODAY FOR THE FIRST TIME IN YONKS . . . . I'M A SNOOP FAN.

Kinda funny, having had the nickname of 'Dog' since 1976, just how many of my friends started calling me 'Snoop' back when this was first released, peeps be frontin me, all up in ma grill, be bustin rap caps all over my ass . . . . a few of em still be throwin down twenty years later . . . . what's my muthafuckin name . . . . it be Whitejizza linenizza to the Psychoshizzle mawhizzle . . . . muthafuckin-A, ma wigger !!!

Seriously though . . . . I still get off on the 'Crosstown Traffic' sample at the start and the Snoop rap style was a real breath of fresh air, stick that alongside some legit, righteous grooves and melodic loops, some hip-hop legend cameos and it was an instant winner in my list of cool shit . . . . The Snoop, he be a certified playa, yo !!!