LAST NIGHT A DEEJAY SAVED MY LIFE, MUSICAL MAYHEM AND THE MOUNTAIN OF MIRTH . . . . AFTER A TORRID WORKING WEEK DUE TO PRESSURE FROM ABOVE TO 'SELL, SELL, SELL' AND COVERING THE BEST PART OF 1000 KLMS I IMPALED MYSELF ON THE PURPLE PENIS AND HEADED FOR THE MOUNTAIN . . . . SILLINESS REIGNED SUPREME, WHICH IT OFTEN DOES AMONG THIS CREW . . . . BEERS, VINO, NOSH, CHIT CHAT, MIND EXPANSION THERAPY . . . . I'M BETTER NOW.

THE PURPLE PENIS ON ARRIVAL . . . . I'D NEVER HAVE IMAGINED HOW SWEETLY THIS WEE THING WOULD RUN, SITS EASY ON 140k/ph WITH OODLES TO BURN . . . . JUST OPEN PIPES AND A POWER COMMANDER

XP FALCON SQUARED . . . . THE METALLIC GREEN MIDSIZE FAMILY TRUCKSTER AND THE BROWN BOMBER

MY FAVOURITE VENETIAN . . . . JULES LOVES HER WAGOON, PARTICULARLY THE STYLING REAR BLINDS

NATIVE PARTY CRASHER . . . . GORGEOUS AND HEAVILY UNDER THREAT, IT'S NOT EASY BEING GREEN

LETTING SLEEPING DOGS LIE . . . . MS TOOHEY BRINDLE AND MR PAUL DIGGS, LYIN' AROUND THE HOUSE 

I STARTED SMOKING A WEEK AGO . . . . NOW I'M FUCKED FOR LIFE, SMOKING RUINS YOUR TEEF !!!