NEW BOOTS AND PANTIES, AT LEAST THE NEW BOOTS BIT . . . . AND YET MORE RUBBER GETS THROWN AT THE PURPLE PENIS IN AN ATTEMPT TO STAVE OF LESS THAN IDEAL HANDLING AND SOMEHOW REDUCE THE VISUAL PERCEPTION THAT THE STEER TIRE IS SMALLER IN DIAMETER THAN THE REAR ONE . . . . SO THIS TIME ROUND I THOUGHT WE'D HAVE A CRACK AT THROWING A WHITEWALL ON THE ARSE END WHILE RUNNING A PLAIN BLACK UP AT THE POINTY END.

AS MUCH AS I LOVE MY PURPLE PENIS, I'VE NEVER SERIOUSLY 'BONDED' WITH THE FRONT END, BUT EVERYTHING'S A TRADE-OFF WHEN YOU BUY OFF-THE-RACK. THE ULTIMATE SETUP FOR ME WOULD BE A NINETEEN INCH NARROW GLIDE AS GOD INTENDED THE SKIRTSTER TO BE EQUIPPED WITH . . . . HAVING HAD FOUR REAR AND THREE FRONT BAGS SINCE NEW I'M STILL PHAFFING ABOUT ATTEMPTING TO ALTER THE VISUAL PERCEPTION OF THE STEER TIRE BEING SMALLER IN DIAMETER THAN THE REAR, THIS TIME, TWO NEW TYRES GO ON SIMULTANEOUSLY WITH A W/W ON THE ARSE END AND THE PLAIN OLD BLACK ROLLER UP FRONT . . . . I RECKON IT LOOKS BETTER THAN IT DID PREVIOUSLY, THE DRAMA WITH RUNNING BOTH STANDARD BLACK TYRES IS THAT THE ENTIRE BIKE THEN APPEARS BLOBBY AND LUMPY AS IT DID AS A BOG STOCK THING . . . . NO THANKS, AS MUCH AS I'M NOT A GREAT LOVER OF WHITEWALLS, I'LL STICK WITH THIS FOR NOW, OR UNTIL A 19" FRONT END TURNS UP.