Thursday, 16 January 2014
MY LONG SUFFERING MOTHER TURNED 89 TODAY . . . . LOST HER FIRST CHILD IN A CAR WRECK BEFORE I WAS BORN, MASHED HER FACE, JAW WIRED SHUT, HUSBAND AT SEA, UTTERLY ON HER OWN . . . . DAD RETIRES IN '77, THREE MASSIVE STROKES IN '81, DIES IN '95, PRETTY MUCH ON HER OWN SINCE . . . . STOIC AND LOVING BEYOND DESCRIPTION . . . . SHE LOVED THE DAY SPENT WITH HER FAVOURITE PERSON, MY DAUGHTER LIZZIE . . . . AND HER 52 YEAR OLD 'BOY', ME.
I was cogitating over the 'motherly love' thing during lunch while watching her giggle and carry on with Lizzie and had to excuse myself so as not to be seen crying seemingly out of the blue. This old bird has stood by me with unconditional love since I was a thirteen year old and started getting into strife at school, despite my behaviour being so contrary to her beliefs it defies description, broken bones, skateboards, motorbikes, cars, bad company, then later writing off . . . . she did the same through twenty five years of havoc after leaving school and quitting uni, playing live music, car wrecks, more skateboards, motorcycles, criminal records, getting totally fucked up, never having a 'proper' job, nearly dying, divorced from a woman she adored, all of this and more and mum's an old school, morally righteous, God fearin' woman and teetotaller . . . . she could've, and likely should've, bailed on me decades ago when so many other parents of her generation would've done exactly that, however, and thank the powers of the universe, she didn't. She kept lecturing, kept attacking the problem in the only way she knew how, by not backing down and never changing her beliefs while always asserting that I could better myself.
Well, guess what, I did, I finally got my shit together by forty years of age, sorted my 'problems' out and started being moderately responsible, it was too late for dad to witness but it wasn't for her, she's proud of her 'little boy' and what he's achieved in the real world at last, she is over the moon in raptures with her granddaughter and throughout it all she has given me nothing but unconditional love, the type that only a mother can give and I'l be reciprocating that until her last breath is drawn.