LIVE TO RIDE, RIDE TO SLEEP . . . . OBVIOUSLY, JUST GETTIN THE NEW PARTS BOLTED UP WAS NEVER GOING TO BE ENOUGH FOR THIS DAY . . . . GOT SOME DINNER INTO MY GIZZARD THEN DECIDED A QUICK RIP DOWN THE HIGHWAY WOULD BE JUST THE TRICK . . . . FAILED TO TAKE INTO ACCOUNT THE DELAYED EFFECTS OF THE PREVIOUS NIGHT'S PISSFEST . . . . BY ABOUT THE 170 KLM MARK . . . . FEELIN SLEEEEEEPY.

THE RIDE SOUTH TO BYRON BAY, INTERNATIONAL DESTINATION FOR THE GREAT UNWASHED, SWEDISH TOURISTS, WOULD-BE SURFERS, WOOD DUCK BLOW-INS AND DREADLOCKED DIRTBAGS, IS AN EASY ONE HOUR BLAST ON THE SCOOT . . . . 180 ODD KLMS ROUND TRIP, TWO LANES ALL THE WAY, STRAIGHT STRETCHES, COOL CURVES AND NICE SCENERY, ON A THREE QUARTER MOONLIGHT NIGHT, DEE-FUCKING-LIGHTFUL !!! 

THE PENIS MOSHEEN, REPLETE WITH MR BOYLE'S NEWLY INSTALLED AIR CLEANER HANGIN NEATLY OFF THE RIGHTHAND SIDE, WAS LOVIN LIFE, THE EVENING'S COOL AIR BEING SUCKED INTO THE THROTTLE MOUTH GIVING THE DONK ALL THE MIX IT NEEDED AND ME . . . . FEELIN FINE AND JUST TAKING IT ALL IN, PRETTY MUCH ON AUTO PILOT, PASSING THE FEW CARS OUT ON THE ROAD, NOT FLOGGING IT TOO HARD FOR FEAR OF AN ENCOUNTER WITH THE STATE OF THE ART FUZZ-MOBILES THE WALLOPERS ARE NOW RUNNING SOUTH OF THE BORDER.

INTO BYRON TOWN, DISMOUNT, FEEL OUT THE NEW ADDITION FOR ANY SIGN OF LOOSENESS INCURRED ON THE JOURNEY, ALL IS HUNKY DORY, QUICK SQUIRT, SUCK ON A CIGGY, BACK ON THE BIKE AND TURN IT AROUND FOR THE TRIP HOME . . . . BY THE TIME I HIT THE BORDER, COMING CLOSE TO TWO HOURS SINCE HEADING OFF, I'M IN ZOMBIE MODE, THE DOWNSIDE OF LAST NIGHT'S BOOZE INTAKE HAS KICKED ME FAIR IN THE BALLS, NONE OF WHICH I'D CONSIDERED PRIOR TO DECIDING ON THE RIDE. 

FEELIN SO FUCKING TIRED THAT IF I WAS IN A CAR I WOULD'VE PULLED OVER AND HAD A KIP . . . . UNZIP THE JACKET, STAND UP ON THE PEGS, SHAKE, JUMP AND SHOUT TO TRY AND BRIGHTEN UP, ALL TO NOT MUCH AVAIL, BY THE TIME I HIT BURLEIGH HEADS, I'M SHAGGED AND REAL DOUGHY, PULL INTO THE GLOW OF THE GOLDEN ARCHES IN A FINAL BID TO FIRE UP THE SYNAPSES AND NEURONS ENOUGH TO GET ME HOME . . . . DOUBLE SHOT BLACK AND TWO SUGARS, TWO MARLBOROS. ANOTHER PISS, TIME TO MOUNT THE PURPLE PHALLUS AND GET ON IT. 

LETS NOT FUCK ABOUT THIS TIME, LOTS OF SPEED, MORE ADRENALIN, JUST WHAT I NEEDED, CRANK IT ON, THE LAST LEG TAKES A LITTLE OVER FIVE MINUTES TO COVER THE FINAL FIFTEEN KLMS . . . . TURN OFF THE MOTOR, COAST INTO THE DRIVE, STAND DOWN, STEERING LOCK ON, INSIDE, A COUPLE MORE CIGS WHILE I'M WRITING THIS SHIT UP, "KINGPIN" ON CABLE . . . . FUCK THAT, TIME FOR BED, NYE NYE FOLKS.