"CUSTOM CHOPPER WHEELIE AND BURNOUT" ['SITDOWNSTEVE' POOTUBE] . . . . I'VE HAD THIS IN THE DRAFT FOLDER FOR MONTHS, I'D ACTUALLY FORGOTTEN WHAT THE FUCK WAS ON IT . . . . JUST REGULAR 'BLOKE ON CHOP PULLS WHEELIE AND DOES BURNOUT' SHIT . . . . WELL, IT'S REGULAR UNTIL ABOUT 9 SECONDS IN . . . . ONE SUPER SKETCHY, BEE'S DICK AWAY FROM "CHOPPER WHEELIE FAIL FROM HELL" !!!!

LET ME GET THIS OUT THERE BEFORE I GO ANY FURTHER, I CAN'T PULL WHEELIES ON A CHOPPER OR A STREET BIKE, NEVER REALLY TRIED IN NEARLY THIRTY YEARS OF ROAD RIDING FOR THAT MATTER, I DON'T GENERALLY ENTER INTO BURNOUTS EITHER, NEVER HAVE, TO BE TOTALLY STRAIGHT, I REALLY ENVY THOSE WHO CAN DO BOTH SPONTANEOUSLY WITH STYLE, ELAN AND NO FEAR AT THE SQUEEZE OF A LEVER . . . . I CAN HOWEVER, 'RIDE' A BIKE PRETTY FUCKING WELL, TWISTIES, STRAIGHT LINE SPEED, GOAT TRACKS, TIGHT MOUNTAIN BENDS, SHORT SPRINTS OR LONG DISTANCE ARSE KILLERS, SPLITTING LANES WITH BARS LIKE A SCOTTISH LONGHORN, WHATEVER AND WHEREVER, I'LL PLAY AND PLAY PRETTY FERKIN HARD, I'VE GOT IT SUSSED IN MY OWN LITTLE WAY AND AM FULLY CONFIDENT I'LL ALWAYS HOLD MY OWN IN JUST ABOUT ANY COMPANY.

THE REASON I DON'T INDULGE IN WHEELIES IN PARTICULAR IS ALL SUMMED UP IN THIS VID AT AROUND THE 9 SECOND MARK, AS MUCH AS I LOVE AND WILL ALWAYS CRAVE SPEED AND TAKING SOME PRETTY BIG RISKS, GETTING MYSELF DELIBERATLEY INTO A POSITION WHERE I'M CLOSER TO A POTENTIAL LIFE THREATENING ENDO IS SOMETHING THAT I'M JUST NOT INTO . . . . LIKE I SAID, I'M NOT BAGGING THOSE WHO CAN AND DO, MOSTLY IT'S A POINT OF ENVY TO ME, BUT . . . . I'VE SNAPPED MY LEG IN HALF, I'VE BROKEN WRISTS MORE TIMES THAN I HAVE FINGERS AND TOES, I'VE BROKEN COLLAR BONES, RIBS, TOES, FINGERS AND MY TAIL BONE, COMING UNSTUCK ATTEMPTING A MONO ON THE TARMAC, I JUST DON'T NEED TO DO IT, NO THANKS, BUT HUGE KUDOS AND RESPECT TO THOSE WHO CAN, LIKE THE DUDE ON THE EDGE FEATURED HERE . . . . IF THAT MAKES ME A WUSS, SO BE IT . . . . I'LL GO AND SLIP INTO MY FAVOURITE LITTLE SKIRT RIGHT NOW DARLINGS.

DAVE ALLEN - "HAUNTED HOUSE" . . . . ONE OF THE FINEST OLD SCHOOL, STORY TELLIN, WISE CRACKIN, SCOTCH DRINKIN COMEDIANS EVER . . . . NOT THAT THE SCOTCH DRINKIN WAS FOR REAL . . . . THIS BEAUTIFULLY ARTICULATE, RIOTOUSLY FUNNY IRISHMAN WAS ALWAYS AT LARGE . . . . EVEN AS A YOUNG KID, FUNNIER THAN SHIT, COMPULSORY VIEWING IN MY HOUSEHOLD . . . . GHOST STORIES A SPECIALTY.

FILE THIS UNDER "ONE FUCKING SMOOTH DUDE" OR "ALWAYS LEAVE THEM LAUGHING" . . . . OR, ONE FINAL OPTION, "HALF FINGER, WILL TRAVEL" . . . .

THE SUNNYBOYS "HAPPY MAN" 1981 . . . . I AM A HAPPY MAN, HONEST, SOMETIMES THE BILE OBSCURES IT THAT'S ALL . . . . THESE GUYS WERE THE SHIT, GREAT TUNES THAT STANK OF PURE SIXTIES INFLUENCED, POST PUNK POWER POP . . . . SWEATY NIGHTS IN PACKED ROOMS WITH LOW CEILINGS . . . . ALWAYS RUNNING ON THE EDGE OF IMPLOSION . . . . POOR JEREMY, TORMENTED BY A BLACK DOG ALL HIS LIFE.

Some of the best times of my early twenties were spent at the Sunny's gigs, crank the volume and give it all, a pair of brothers from just south of the Goldy who took the country by the balls and gave us all a lesson in honest, from the heart, bare it all songcraft . . . . on stage they were in their element and at their zenith, we were lucky enough to work with them at their peak, what a fucking treat and an honour, the Playroom, the Grand Pacific, Bombay Rock and at Selina's in Sydney . . . . melody with balls of steel . . . . I gotta hang up, cause I'm a happy man !!!

DARKNESS ON THE EDGE OF TOWN . . . . TOOK OFF THIS MORNING TO CLEAR THE MIND AND BLOW OUT THE GLOOM . . . . I WAS HOME BY LUNCHTIME WITH A PAIN IN MY GUTS . . . . I'M USUALLY PRETTY FUCKING BOMBPROOF WHEN IT COMES TO GETTING CROOK BUT NOT TODAY . . . . IT DIDN'T HELP TO REDUCE THE LOATHING LAMENT OF TODAY EITHER . . . . TURNS OUT IT WAS DOWN TO CONSTIPATION !!!

I've been attempting to shed some of my winter fat build up over the last month and a half as I was feeling like the Round Count from Obese Town on a Virago two fiddy . . . . as is par for my course in life, one extreme to another, stopped eating carbs almost entirely and bang, shit's backed up, stacked up and racked up like a motherfucker . . . . a trip to the chemist and some hot laxative action and things felt a whole bunch better and several ton lighter, so after a dinner of cereal, fruit and a litre of water, I threw the leg over the Purple Penis and got the fuck out of town. A bit of light rain on my face felt good.

No specific route, brain in autopilot mode and up into the hills behind the Gold Coast which is still thick with schoolies celebrating life in the grown-up world by throwing themselves off highrise balconies like sad little lemmings and beating the living shit out of each other on the golden sands of Sufferers Parasite . . . . heard during the arvo that my chef buddy in hospital is starting to show signs of recovering after a marathon eight hour surgery, things were feeling a tad more positive than this morning, come on Dazzler, you can do it man, the two wee men and the older woman want you back home and we all want to be able to enjoy your culinary offerings again . . . . 

I guess with the benefit of hindsight, this morning's rant might've been a touch over reactionary, I tend to get pretty negative on the subject of good people being fucked over by the hand of fate these days, way too much death and destruction in my life thus far, suicide, needle damage, bottle rot, road carnage, cancer, it seems sometimes that maybe I'm a massive jinx . . . . no fuck that self indulgent horseshit, but I have had a seemingly disproportionate amount of dear and close friends who have been taken out of the game far too fucking early, I couldn't even begin to count them, from late high school til now, it's no claim to fame, just a weird reality . . . . some folk can live their entire life without having much to do with the close up touch of the 'D' word while others constantly find themselves staring at its ugly fucking face . . . . I'm one of the latter I guess.

THE DRONES "SHARK FIN BLUES" ['AGO SOLDATI' POOTUBE] . . . . SEETHING, ANGST, CONFUSION, MISANTHROPY, PURPOSE, INTROSPECTION, HATRED . . . . THERE IS NO MYSTERY TO LIFE, WE EXIST THEN WE DON'T, LOOKING FOR A DEEPER MEANING JUST DOES MY FUCKING HEAD IN . . . . SHALLOW SEEKERS OF SELF GRATIFICATION, WE'RE ALL FUCKED ONE WAY OR T'OTHER . . . . HOLLOW BY BIRTHRIGHT, DOWN BY LAW.

ANOTHER GOOD FRIEND IN HOSPITAL IN ICU, NO RHYME, NO REASON, NO JUSTICE, A SLENDER THREAD OF LIFE AND HOPE, ALL ELSE MATTERS NOT A JOT . . . . EPHEMERAL, HERE TODAY, GONE FOREVER, MEMORIES HURT MORE THAN PHOTOS, PERSPECTIVE DOESN'T COME CHEAP AND NOBODY'S SELLING THE SHIT ANYWAY . . . . THE PAIN OF EXISTENCE AMPLIFIED A THOUSAND FOLD AND THERE IS NO CONTROL KNOB, YOU CAN'T TURN THE FUCKER DOWN BUT IT CAN TURN YOU OFF . . . . FINITO.

NOTHING CAN BE DONE, BEYOND HELPLESS, HELPLESS IN THE BEYOND, HAVE I BEEN A BETTER PERSON THAN I THINK I HAVE OR AM I MORE BASE THAN I'M WILLING TO BELIEVE . . . . ONLY TIME WILL ANSWER THAT CONCLUSIVELY, THAT AND THE ILL INFORMED OPINIONS OF OTHERS WHO ARE EVEN LESS ABLE TO MAKE THE CORRECT CALL . . . . GLAD I WON'T BE HERE TO READ THE VERDICT WHEN IT'S HANDED DOWN. TIME TO RIDE, TIME TO REGROUP . . . . TIME TO STOP THINKING.

SHRIEKBACK - "ALL LINED UP", A DUSTY DIAMOND FROM THE EIGHTES . . . . THOUGHT IT WAS COOL THEN AND HAVEN'T HEARD IT IN PROBABLY TWENTY PLUS YEARS . . . . TURNS OUT TO BE JUST AS FUCKING TRIPPY COOL NOW AS I REMEMBER IT BEING THEN . . . . MEMORIES OF POST GIG BAR CHASING, CRAWLING OUT AT SUNRISE, RAVING BEFORE RAVING, LIVIN IT X-LARGE AND LOVIN IT . . . . HAD IT ALL LINED UP.

THERE WAS A HELLUVA LOTTA SHIT MUSIC SPEWED OUT DURING THE '80's, PARTICULARLY OF THE ELECTRONIC PERSUASION, SHRIEKBACK WERE NOT PART OF THAT TURGID MIASMA OF MEDIOCRITY . . . . A KINDA SPOOKY/TRIPPY FEEL WITH THE VOCALS WORMING ALONG TO THE GROOVE, AND THE KILLER HOOK AND CHORUS, WRITING GREAT TUNES AIN'T ROCKET SCIENCE FOR SOME FOLK . . . . WISH IT HAD BEEN THAT WAY FOR ME, BUT NOT BEING BLACK, JEWISH OR CATHOLIC AND FROM A FAIRLY SAFE, DULL, MIDDLE CLASS UPBRINGING THAT WAS NEVER REALLY ON THE CARDS.

"THE MAGIC ROUNDABOUT - ORIGINAL BBC 1970's EPISODE" . . . . I DON'T KNOW IF THIS SERIES WAS EVER SCREENED IN THE STATES BUT FOR ANYBODY MY AGE FROM THE UK, AUSSIE OR NZ THE 'MAGIC ROUNDABOUT' WAS A STAPLE OF VERY EARLY CHILDHOOD . . . . RUMOURS AND URBAN MYTH ABOUT THE WRITERS BEING WHACKED OFF THEIR TITS ON ACID ARE RIFE . . . . I CHOOSE TO BELIEVE IT . . . . FEELS RIGHT.

I think it was originally produced in France or at least with some sort of French connection to it, but the stuff we grew up with was voiced by Poms . . . . it was kinda like psychedelia for little kids and I was tripped out by it completely, always felt pretty fucking 'magical' actually for a three and four year old, weird shit for sure. Zebedee, the springy dude, was the coolest . . . . made "Bill and Ben" seem pretty lame . . . . whoever said nothing good ever came from drug abuse ???

ONE YEAR AGO TODAY MY WHOLE BLOGGING CAPER BEGAN . . . . FERKIN HELL, TIME FLIES WHEN YOUR GETTIN NONE . . . . YEP, THE FIRST POST, THE BEGINNING OF MY JOURNEY INTO COMPUTER SEMI LITERACY . . . . STILL DON'T REALY KNOW WHAT THE FUCK I'M DOING OR WHERE THE FUCK THIS IS GOING . . . . THE STORY OF MY LIFE I GUESS . . . . BIG LOVE TO ALL THOSE WHO TAKE THE TIME TO READ MY SHIT. XXX

     #2  Tuesday, 22 November 2011

FUUUUUUUCCCKKKK !!!!

Way too much technological bollocks involved here for my old head to process, nonetheless, even at this embryonic stage of my Blogging journey just wanted to say a big thanks to DenverDan for turning out great shit . . .lovin the derby cover . . . . also to Roscoe and Steve at R.P.M at Nerang, great work, good guys . . . does it suck to now own a marque of sickle I swore I never would ???
So much self doubt, what the fuck, in love with the little sucker, a '48 thats been been given my usual aesthetic and performance tweaks courtesy of Roscoe and Steve, for an off the floor, current Hoggly, it's lookin pretty sharp . . . better than most in fact . . . . .but it ain't and never will be a "custom" build, that's comin next.
Once I figure this blogging caper out I'll post a piccy so you can all bag the shit out of an old Trumpy freak who's sold his soul to the Bar and Shield  . . . .
Wine of the week, 2011 Craggy Range 'Te Muna Road' Martinborough, Riesling . . .hook the sucker up with some fresh whiting fillets and off you go !!
Tune of the week . . . The Saints, 'Know Your Product'. More relevent now than 30 years ago !!!

  #1   Tuesday, 22 November 2011

Testing . . .one, tsu, one, tsu . . .

Music, motorcycles and cars . . . .

SLADE "CUM ON FEEL THE NOIZE" 1973 . . . . HOW THE FUCK COULD I NOT PUT THIS UP IN LIGHT OF THE LAST POST . . . . ONE OF LOVEYBROTHER'S FAVES AND MINE AS WELL . . . . OGLE AT THE SARTORIAL SPLENDOUR, BE AMAZED BY THE SUEDEHEAD, MULLET-LIKE, BLUNT FRINGED BOUFANTS . . . . MOREOVER, DON'T EVER SUGGEST THOSE PVC CLAD SOFTCOCKS 'QUIET RIOT' CAN HOLD A FUCKING CANDLE TO THIS.

THE NOISE: THE PRIMAL, VISCERAL, HAMMERING, THROBBING, ALL PERVADING, HORN INDUCING, NOISE . . . . THE THING THAT REALLY STICKS IN MY MIND WHEN IT COMES TO BIKES AND CARS IS EXACTLY THAT, THE NOISE . . . . BEING A FIVE YEAR OLD AND HEARING THE M.P's BEEZA COME BLATTING DOWN THE ROAD IN FRONT OF OUR HOUSE ON THE NAVAL BASE, THE NOISE . . . . "5 NORTH" ['GRANTPETERSON' P/TUBE]

STICK THIS ONE AWAY UNDER " THE NOISE . . . . [C'MON FEEL THE]" OR "BRING IT" . . . .

Maybe it's the same for everybody, I don't know, but no matter how cool, how sweet, how fucking brilliant a bike or car might appear to the eye, it doesn't really mean anything until the belly of the beast is growling like the Devil himself with chronic gastric reflux and a vile case of the cyclonic sphincter . . . . I'm not even talking about running it with the butterflies wide open like footage of Debbie in post doing Dallas state, nor under full load waiting to launch off the pad, not screaming it's tits off in tyre shredding burnout mode, just up and chugging at idle or shifting on down the highway sitting on the speed limit . . . . it's the sound, the sensation of those shock waves as each sparking combustion chamber ignites the charge sending the spent vapours tearing past the exhaust valve, down the pipe and finally breaking the sound barrier as it exits into the world at large filling your ears with the sweetest sound known to man . . . . happiness is a free breathing donk doin its thing !!! 

I remember being so amped as a kid in the back of dad's LC GTR Torana, sitting on the old fashined ton on the highway in the days of unlimited speed and the mind warping noise as a Norton, Trumpy, Harley or a 750/4 blew by as it overtook us, mum freaking the fuck out in the front, 'lift your foot Keith, lift your foot' while the old man and I were pleasantly enjoying the ultimate combo meal of speed and noise . . . . no word of lie, one time coming home from the holidays in Bris Vegas in about '72/'73 on the Newell Highway, again sitting happily on 95-100mph, mum and dad up front, me truck spotting in the back, I noticed a rapidly approaching Kenworth cabover behind us, within minutes it was filling the rear window and then it pulled out without so much as a downshift puff of diesel smoke and went past us . . . . with an empty 40' flatty on the back he must've been doing 105, maybe more, nearly blew us off the road too, the GTR wasn't a big car. But the sound of that big Kenny at full noise with its blower spinning like a giant hairdryer was music to my eleven year old ears, ooh ee !!!

So . . . . where was I . . . . yeah, noise, the aural sex that only a motor is capable of engaging in, not the cacophonous sound of a great band or the soothing tones of Miles Davis, not the crack and bang of guns, nor the singing of cute little birds, not the silence of waking up in the country miles from civilisation, not the sweet nothings whispered in your ear by the girl you love, nah, none of it, not one single other noise making thing compares to the sound that a well sorted motor is capable of doing for me . . . . with that in mind, have a look and, more importantly, a listen to this cracker video from Mr Grant Peterson, yes, 'that' Grant Petersen, as he and his buddy, whom I'm sure many will also be familiar with, as they move it on out down the freeway, this says it all, if you're not feeling it or not getting it, you probably never will . . . . adios.

JOHNNY CASH "FIVE FEET HIGH AND RISING" . . . . IT'S BEEN SAID BEFORE BUT I'LL SAY IT AGAIN . . . . JOHNNY CASH WAS PUNK AS FUCK . . . . THE MAN IN BLACK EXPERIENCED THE WORST AND THE BEST OF LIFE'S RICH PAGEANT . . . . HE BOUGHT INTO THE BIG LEAGUE BUT STEADFASTLY NEVER 'SOULED' OUT . . . . WRITING AND SINGING TUNES STRAIGHT FROM THE MAIN VEIN . . . . GONE BUT NEVER FORGOTTEN.

I HAVE ALWAYS FELT THERE WERE VERY FEW ENTERTAINERS WHO WARRANTED A LATE IN THEIR CAREER REBIRTH AS MUCH AS THIS GUY DID, SELF DESTRUCTION AND A CLEAR CASE OF SELF LOATHING WERE ABLE TO BE PUT IN THE PAST, STARTING WITH HIS MID EIGHTIES RE-ASSOCIATION WITH HIS COWPUNK PEERS, WILLIE, WAYLON AND THE 'KID' KRISTOFFERSEN . . . . CULMINATING IN HIS REINTERPRETATIONS OF NICK CAVE'S MATERIAL AND BEYOND, A NEW LEVEL OF DARK, UPFRONT INTROSPECTION THAT STANDS AT THE TOP OF THE PILE, NOBODY COULD TELL A TALE LIKE THE ONE AND ONLY MAN IN BLACK . . . . YEAH, JOHNNY CASH WAS PUNK AS FUCK !!!!

"SPORTSTERS - BORN TO RIDE" . . . . THE BABY HOGGLY THAT'S STOOD THE TEST OF TIME . . . . WHILST IN MODERN, STOCK FORM THEY ARE UNDOUBTEDLY BLOATED, CORPULENT SHADOWS OF THEIR FORMER SELVES . . . . STRIPPED AND RIPPED, CHOPPED AND DROPPED, THE LITTLEST HARLEY IS STILL BORN TO BE RIDDEN AND RIDDEN HARD . . . . POWER TO WEIGHT RATIO, SKIRTSTERS WIN HANDS DOWN !!!!

Maybe I'm just jaundiced after having spent so much time on Brit bikes or perhaps growing up where the family car was a smallish, compact, two door, performance six cylinder that could out perform many others with a V8 twice the capacity and power . . . . perhaps these experiences have tainted my perception of what it is that I really get off on in the world of all things fast and furious, the way I seem to gravitate to those vehicles, whether two wheels or four, that possess a great power to weight ratio . . . . the classic illustration of smaller, lithe, nimble frames or bodies where the lack of overall weight and size is significantly enhanced by the simple addition of a moderately powerful mid sized motor, fuck, it's not rocket science, just common sense . . . . the birth of the entire bobber caper came from the same approach, trying to strip weight from mostly large, overweight American Big Twins in an attempt to keep up with the smaller, lighter, faster Pommy jiggers that were the new dominating force . . . . or maybe I'm just ok about the size of my cock.

Below are three random examples of the skirtster in three fairly divergent forms, all of which to me appear to be eminently rideable . . . . no drama, no fuss, kick em in the guts, drop it into gear, let out the clutch and off ya go, not just in a straight line [yawn] but up and into the hills, around town, where ever the fuck it might be, the much maligned baby of the Harley family is still the scoot to root . . . . thanks to BikeExif, HideMo and whoever the top pic was stolen from . . . . three cool tools that were born to ride.

EDDY CURRENT SUPPRESSION RING "WHICH WAY TO GO" AND RADIO BIRDMAN "ALOHA STEVE AND DANNO" . . . . TRYIN MY BEST TO GET MY BUSTED ARSE OUT THE FUCKING DOOR BUT THE TUNES ON 'RAGE' ARE JUST KILLIN IT . . . . TWO MORE LEGEND ACTS FROM THE LAND OF OZ . . . . ONE CURRENT, PUN INTENDED, AND ONE TIMELESS DIAMOND FROM BACK IN THE DAY . . . . LATER DUDES . . . . AUSSIE ROCKS, !!!!!

SKUNKHOUR "UP TO OUR NECKS IN IT" 1995 . . . . THESE GUYS WERE THE FUNKY COOL MOVIDAS FOR SURE . . . . FUSING RAP, FUNK, SOUL AND R+B INTO ONE UNIQUE SOUND . . . . HAD THE PLEASURE OF SINGING WITH AYA ON A COUPLE OF OCCASIONS AT THE DOGHOUSE . . . . HIS SOULFUL VOCALS TAPPING STRAIGHT INTO THE SPIRIT OF EARLY ROBERT PALMER . . . . GOOD TIMES WITH GREAT PEOPLE, BOO YA !!!!

OFF FOR A THRASH ON THE PENIS MOBILE, THREE DAYS WITHOUT THE OPPORTUNITY IS SENDING ME ROUND THE FUCKING TWIST . . . . A BIG SHOUT OUT TO ALL THE LATEST MEMBERS OF THE  DISCERNING PSYCHOTICS GUILD, GREAT TO HAVE YOU ON BOARD, SPECIAL HIGH FIVE TO DAVE-O . . . . YOU GUYS ARE 'KILLIN IT' MAN, LOVE YOUR WORK AND YOUR RAMPANT COCK . . . . BREAK FREE PEOPLES, ENJOY THE WEEKEND, ADIOS MOTHERFUCKERS !!!

FROM THE TOTALLY FUCKING TWISTED FILES COMES THIS LITTLE GEM FROM THE BACKWOODS OF "CASTE COUNTY" . . . . YOU THOUGHT YOU'VE BEEN HAVING A TOUGH LIFE . . . . HOLDING DOWN A STRAIGHT GIG, KEEPING UP WITH THE PAYMENTS THAT JUST EXISTING REQUIRES, THE SHIT'S FIVE FEET HIGH AND RISING . . . . BUT THROW A LEG OVER THE FREEDOM MOSHEEN AND IT FADES INTO NOTHINGNESS.

WELL . . . . IMAGINE RIDING THROUGH THE SLICK STREETS OF FILTHY FUCKING RICHVILLE AND YOU GET JUMPED BY THE JONES' AND THEIR CLAN AND BEATEN TO A MEAT PATTIE SIMPLY BECAUSE THEY RECKON YOU'RE NOT WORTHY OF RIDING YOUR OWN SCOOT . . . . FUCK THAT SHIT, THIS TALE BENEATH MAKES RUN-INS WITH THE LAW SEEM ALMOST JOVIAL . . . . OFFICER THARG YELLS, "WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE UP TO DICKHEAD ?? NOW, PULL THE FUCK OVER AND STOP BEHAVING LIKE A FREE MAN !!!"

NOW . . . . READ THIS TALE OF TERROR AND QUIT YOUR BITCHIN !!!!

"BEATEN AND HORRIBLY MUTILATED FOR BEHAVING LIKE A FREE PERSON"

Upper caste men slice off Dalit’s nose for riding bike

“A dozen upper caste men in Madhya Pradesh sliced off the nose of a Dalit man because they didn’t like the sight of a lower caste man riding a motorcycle in front of them.

“The victim has been admitted to the district hospital in Shivpuri for treatment.

“Prakash Jatav (31) was attacked by a group of men from the Kushwaha community after he was spotted driving his motorcycle near Jaitpur square that falls under Narwar police station in Shivpuri district on Monday.

“The gang of upper caste men pounced on the hapless victim and started beating him with shoes and sticks. Not satisfied with that, one of them cut off Jatav’s nose in full public view. Other members from the Dalit community who were there were too terrified to react and ran for cover.

“‘They badly beat me up with shoes, sticks and repeatedly told me that I have no right to drive a motorcycle,’ the victim said.

"XLCH MICA vs KONGS, NEWORDER2011" ['KANNON0120'] . . . . A LOVELY, LEGGY LADY GIVING HERSELF A DAMN GOOD CHOPPING . . . . WHAT'S NOT TO LOVE . . . . HERE'S SOME COOL FOOTAGE OF THE DELIGHTFUL MICA AND HER XLCH CHOP ON THE WAY TO THE NEW ORDER SHOW 2011 . . . . SET TO A ROCKIN GOOD J-PUNK STYLE SOUNDTRACK . . . . DEFINITELY DEVELOPING AN XLCH FIXATION, OH YEAH !!!!

PRETTY SURE MICA MIGHT BE PART OF THE 'VISE CREW' OVER IN THE LAND OF HIGHLY ACTIVE PLATE TECTONICS AND KILLER TSUNAMI . . . . . A REALLY SWEET LITTLE ROAD TALE ON VIDEO, FROM THE TRIP TO LAST YEAR'S NEW ORDER SHOW . . . . THERE'S JUST SOMETHING SO DAMNED SEXY-COOL ABOUT THOSE GORGEOUS PINS PUSHING HER KNEECAPS WAY UP INTO THE BREEZE AS SHE THREADS THE NEEDLE ON THE HIGHWAY, EVEN WITH THE LEGWARMERS ON . . . . ALSO A KICKARSE SOUNDTRACK FROM J-MODEL PUNK OUTFIT CRANKIN AWAY IN THE BACKGROUND . . . . YEAH, CHICKS ON SCOOTS, DOESN'T GET ANY BETTER THAN THAT . . . . LOVE YOUR WORK DARLIN !!!!

"THE WRECK OF THE EDMUND FITZGERALD" GORDON LIGHTFOOT . . . . SINCE READING A POST FROM DIESEL AT ZON I CAN'T GET THIS HAUNTING TUNE OUT OF MY SCONE . . . . FROM WHAT I REMEMBER IT WAS RELEASED IN 1976, ONLY A YEAR AFTER THE TRAGEDY OF THE FITZGERALD'S DISAPPEARANCE . . . . EVEN HERE IN OZ, THE SENSE OF MYSTERY AND FOREBODING IN THIS SEA SHANTY WAS INESCAPABLE.

IT STILL GIVES ME GOOSEBUMPS NOW, ESPECIALLY IN LIGHT OF DIESEL'S POST . . . . THE GREAT LAKES, MORE LIKE AN INLAND OCEAN TO ME . . . . GREAT CLIP OF THE SHIP, THE SEAS AND THE TUNE . . . . MEN WHO GO DOWN TO THE SEA IN SHIPS.

PSYCHO SEIKO, SEIKO FREAKO, WHITELINEPSYCHO . . . . JUST FRIGGIN AROUND WITH THE NEW SAMSUNG UPDATE ON THE GALAXY S3 . . . . COULDN'T FIND THE MACRO SETTING OVER THE WEEKEND CAUSE EVERYTHING HAD CHANGED . . . . THINK I'VE GOT THE LITTLE FUCKER SORTED NOW THOUGH . . . . MEET THE NEW SUNDIAL !!!

BOUGHT TO BE BULLETPROOF FOR LIFE . . . . THERE'S ONLY ONE KIND OF DIVING I'M INTERESTED IN.

"1969 XLCH HARLEY IRONHEAD SPORTSTER" AND "AMF XMAS DIV" ["69xlch22"] . . . . BOTH THE BLOKE AND THE BIKE IN THESE TWO VIDEOS ARE PRETTY DAMN LEGENDARY . . . . I'LL GIVE YOU A HINT, THE NAME OF THE BIKE IS 'ANIMAL MOTHER' . . . . THE OWNER/RIDER/BUILDER IS HIMSELF AN ACCOMPLISHED CHRONICLER OF ALL THINGS CHOPPER . . . . PRIMO BARE BONES ROARTY SPORTY ACTION !!!!

I've always been a fan of the old ironhead sporty, even over my years as a manic Trumpy lover, compared to the later models, even those immediately preceeding the introduction of the blockhead motor in '86 or whenever it was, the much loved and lusted after earlier jiggers are narrow, light, lithe and potentially brutally quick things . . . . I was parked beside one on Sunday and it made the Purple Penis look the size of my '74 shovel, a great, fat doughy exercise in flabby excess, the '75 Skirty on the other hand was all stripped back sinew and muscle, thin like a anorexic on slimming tabs, and it was nearly stock !!

Over the last three years or so I've been continually drawn to spending time of a night trawling through the net and reading more and more about the MoCo's 'sport bike' with a history and heritage unmatched even today . . . . Jappa Rocket lovers, don't scoff, it's perfectly true . . . . it's only in recent times I have learnt just how potent the original XLCH models were and how fucking deadly they can be in regards to knee joints, ankles and dignity . . . . I guess I would've been real partial to attempting to pick one up three years ago if I wasn't so concerned with dull reliability required for work duties, as I've said before, the excitement and romance of time spent on the side of the road struggling to fix, reattach or cobble something together on a bike has somewhat dwindled . . . . anyway, the venerable and entirely cool ironhead, what a thing . . . . gotta love em !!! 

As for the fella in the limelight in this pair of videos, it is none other than David Snow, fettling, fiddling and frottling on his killer '69 XLCH chop, totally fucking wicked, only the shit that's needed and nothing more, not even the rear guard or a seat on the shakedown run . . . . I read a great piece somewhere on the net a while ago written by the man himself about the dangerous vagaries and infamous perils of kicking the things into life, I could feel the pain by the time I was done . . . . I don't know Mr Snow and to be honest, the old Iron Horse was something I only ever read at mates places or when in a gig specialising in Hogglies, but I've only ever been told good things about the bloke and his encyclopedic knowledge of the thing he clearly loves so much, whether by one of the proprietors of The Speed Merchant or by any one of a good handful of esteemed and revered bloggers getting around . . . . a bloke who has obviously played a significant role in keeping the chopper fires burning and the history of the alternate biker lifestyle a relevant and living thing. Cheers mate, keep it rollin, keep it real.

B-52's "DANCE THIS MESS AROUND" 1980 [I SUSPECT THIS CLIP IS TAKEN FROM SNL] . . . . INSPIRED BY ME OLD MATE TIM OVER AT 'LOVELESS ENGINEERING AND TEA MAKING SERVICES' BLOG . . . . THESE GUYS WERE SO FAR OUTSIDE THE PARAMETERS OF WHAT EVEN PUNKS THOUGHT COOL BACK IN THE DAY I CANT ADEQUATELY DESCRIBE IT . . . . GET YOUR BEEHIVE UP BABY, WE'RE GOIN FROOGIN TONIGHT !!!

I BOUGHT THE 45" OF 'ROCK LOBSTER' AFTER READING A REVIEW IN 'SKATEBOARDER' MAG JUST AFTER THE PRINTING PRESS HAD BEEN INVENTED, IT TOOK FOUR MONTHS TO ARRIVE, IT WAS DIVISIVE AS FUCK, I LOVED HOW WHEN I GOT TO PLAY IT AT A SCHOOL SOCIAL IN '79 IT HAD ALL THE JOCKS AND STRAIGHTS COMPLETELY FUCKING UNHINGED, THEY WERE YELLING 'PLAY SOME BLOODY MUSIC',  NO SURPRISES THERE . . . . THEY WERE 'THE' BAND WHO REINTRODUCED CLASSIC '60's KITSCH AND BIRDSNEST HAIRDO'S TO THE BOOMER/GEN-X POST PUNK ERA, THEIR UNIQUELY QUIRKY, MINIMALIST, DIY MUSICAL ETHIC WAS THE EPITOME OF THE 'HAVE A FUCKING CRACK' BELIEF THAT BANDS LIKE THE PISTOLS AND THE RAMONES HAD INSTILLED IN OUR GLOBAL COLLECTIVE CONSCIOUSNESS . . . . THERE HAS NEVER BEEN ANYTHING LIKE THEM.  

LIKE A LOT OF BANDS FROM THE 'EDGE' IN THEIR TIMES, WHETHER IT BE THE STONES, THE CLASH, THE PRETENDERS, WHOEVER, THE BEE-FIVE-TWOS AS THE YANKS SAY, HAVE ALSO BEEN STRUCK BY THE UGLY AND PAINFUL REALITIES OF DRUG ABUSE, CINDY'S BROTHER AND BAND GUITARIST, JONNY, DIED SOME TWO DECADES BACK, YEP, THE NEEDLE AND THE DAMAGE DONE . . . . BUT LIKE MOST OUTFITS WHERE THE SPIRIT PERVADES MORE THAN JUST EXISTING, THEY BOUNCED BACK AND ARE STILL PLAYING IN THEIR OWN PRIVATE IDAHO ROADSHOW OF THE WEIRD AND FREAKY . . . . LIKE DEVO, THEY HALE FROM AKRON, OHIO, WHICH I'VE COVERED IN A PREVIOUS POST, AND LIKE THE ARCH DEVO-LUTIONISTS, THEY'RE STILL DIVIDING PEOPLE ON THEIR MUSICAL MERITS AND WORTH . . . . DON'T LISTEN TO ANYONE IF THEY START ATTEMPTING TO TELL YOU THEY DON'T LIKE THE B52's . . . . TELL EM TO SHUT THE FUCK UP WHILE YOU HEAD OFF TO DANCE YOUR OWN MESS AROUND . . . . 2-4-6-8- DANCIN !!!!

11/11/2012 REMEMBRANCE DAY - LEST WE FORGET . . . . "DULCE ET DECORUM EST" BY WILFRED OWEN . . . . THE WAR TO END ALL WARS . . . . NEARLY ONE HUNDRED YEARS LATER . . . . WHAT A CROCK OF SHIT THAT TURNED OUT TO BE.

FOR ALL THE MEN AND WOMEN OF THE ARMED SERVICES OF THE NATIONS OF THE WORLD WHO HAVE GIVEN THEIR LIVES IN THE FREQUENTLY FUTILE CONFLICTS INSTIGATED BY POLITICIANS, KINGS, QUEENS, GENERALS AND POTENTATES, AND ALL THOSE CURRENTLY SERVING, WHEREVER YOU MAY BE.

COMMANDER K. A. WILLIAMS R.A.N [RET'D] O.B.E . . . . I LOVE YOU DAD . . . . I'M FOREVER GRATEFUL. 22/04/22 - 04/08/95

THANKS TO 'WORCESTERJONNY' FOR THE VID FROM POOTUBE . . . . GREAT WORK, DOES TOTAL JUSTICE TO THE POEM'S AND OWEN'S INTENT, CHEERS MATE.

"CHARMING EYE OF YOUR BICYCLE" . . . . NECTAR FROM THE CUP OF THE CHOPPER GODS . . . . I'VE BEEN ON THE LOOKOUT FOR A HEADLIGHT FOR PROJECT SHOVELLER FOR TEN MONTHS . . . . THEN ONE OF MY TWO CLOSEST MATES PRESENTS ME WITH THIS . . . . AN ABSOLUTELY PERFECT, IN BOX, NOS '70's BICYCLE LAMP . . . . FUCKING PERFECT BETWEEN THE NARROWGLIDE STAUNTIONS, BEST GIFT EVER, CHOOK !!!!

THE BEST THING I'VE EVER BEEN GIVEN FOR USE ON A BIKE OR A CAR, MIKEYRAT, A WELL KNOWN CONTRIBUTOR ON THE H.A.M.B, AND ONE OF MY TWO DEAREST AND CLOSEST FRIENDS, WAS THE ONE WHO DID THE GIVING . . . . COMPLETELY OUT OF THE FUCKING BLUE, IF I WASN'T HALF CUT AND ALREADY SEATED I WOULD'VE FALLEN ON MY FAT ARSE, IT'S ABSOLUTELY BEAUTIFUL IN EVERY WAY, BRAND NEW OLD STOCK, IN BOX, INSANE . . . . TAPERED, 'RECTANGULOIDAL' SHELL, THICK GLASS LENS, REAL OLD SCHOOL QUALITY CHROME ON REAL OLD SCHOOL, MADE IN JAPAN STEEL, THE FULL ON BOOBIES ALL THE WAY !!!! 

YEAH, IT'S GONNA REQUIRE SOME FUCKING ABOUT TO CONVERT IT TO 12V, ATTACH A STRONGER BRACKET/MOUNT, NEW GUTS ETC, BUT THAT'S ALL SMALL POTATOES . . . . IT'S THE PERFECT SIZE, IT'S ABSOFUCKINGLUTELY GORGEOUS AND IT WAS A SPONTANEOUS GIFT FROM A BLOKE I LOVE LIKE A BROTHER AND LIKELY THE ONLY DUDE I KNOW WHO COULD REALISE IT WOULD BE THE VERY FUCKING THING I NEEDED . . . . THANKS MIKEY, I'M TOUCHED AND BLOWN AWAY MAN . . . . AND LIKE MY OTHER BEST BUDDY, HE'S ALWAYS BEEN TRUE TO HIMSELF . . . . HOLD FAST MATE, BIG LOVE ALWAYS.

MORE FROM THE MAGIC MOUNTAIN HOUSE . . . . COOL TREATS, SCRUMPTIOUS EATS, RIGHTEOUS BEATS . . . . SMOKING CAUSES . . . . GOVERNMENTS TO REACT LIKE KNEEJERK DOGOODERS, ALL PACKETS SHALL BE BROWN AND FREE OF ADVERTISING THEY DECREED, 'FUCK OFF WANKERS' I SAID, GONNA COLLECT ME THE COMPLETE SET . . . . LOUIE, JULES AND CHOOK, I LOVE THESE GUYS, FAMILY, PROPER.

I USED TO FIGURE I COULD NEVER MOVE AWAY FROM THE CITY . . . . EVERYTIME I SPEND TIME WITH THIS CREW I WONDER HOW MUCH LONGER I CAN REMAIN WHERE I AM . . . . CONTEMPLATIVE.

OUR ROUND TABLE'S BETTER THAN YOUR ROUND TABLE . . . . GIFTS FROM THE CHOPPER GODS

THERE IS A LIGHT . . . . MORRISSEY GOES TO THE MOUNTAIN

BABY'S GOT BACK . . . . I LIKE BIG BUTTS . . . . ONCE UPON A TIME IN THE SEVENTIES

WELL DOC, IT'S LIKE THIS . . . . I WENT TO BED FEELING FINE, THEN WHEN I WOKE UP . . . .

NOW, TELL ME, WHEN DID YOU FIRST NOTICE THE ITCHING . . . . ARE YOU EXPERIENCING ANY DISCOMFORT?

HONEST, I ONLY HAD TWO DRAGS AND THEN THIS FUCKING FOOT STARTED GROWING OUT OF MY MOUTH

DOG . . . . DON'T YOU DARE . . . . DO NOT TAKE MY PICTURE . . . . DOG, DON'T !!!!

HELLO DARLIN . . . . ARE WE HAVING FUN YET . . . . SORTA LIKE DEJA VU, ISN'T IT GROOVER?

JULES AND I BOTH SUFFERING FROM LEADEN EYELID SYNDROME . . . . IT'S THE MOUNTAIN AIR I GUESS

MR AND MRS 'WE'RE DOING THIS THING OUR WAY' . . . . AND THEIR SECOND CHILD, TUI.

DID I MENTION THAT I REALLY DIG GROOVY LOVE LIGHTS . . . . AMBIENCE, MMMMMMMMM

HELLO CHILDREN . . . . I'M MR POTATO HEAD.

RANDOMS ON A FRIDAY NIGHT FROM THE HOUSE ON MAGIC MOUNTAIN . . . . A COUPLE OF THINGS THAT SPARK THE FIRES OF CHILDHOOD . . . . THE WARM, SOFT GLOW OF GROOVY LIGHTS . . . . AUSTRALIA'S FATBACK FORD, IN THE RAW AND CONTAINED WITHIN A BLISTER PACK . . . . AND DUMB-ARSED FOOTAGE YOU DON'T EVEN REMEMBER SHOOTING . . . . GOOD TIMES AND GREAT PEOPLE !!!

LUKE MILLION - "ARNOLD" [OFFICIAL VIDEO] . . . . LOVIN THIS FREAKY FUNKY FLEXING SHIT . . . . ARNIE IN PRIME "PUMPING IRON" MUSCLEHEAD DAYS . . . . IT'S ALSO GREAT FOR ALL THE WHITE GUYS WHO HAVE DIFFICULTY GETTIN THEIR FREAK ON, JUST FOLLOW THE INTRUCTIONS . . . . LISTEN CAREFULLY FOR THE PRESSURE FARTS, DON'T STAIN THOSE LITTLE GYM SHORTS NOW . . . . BECAUSE . . . . I'LL BE BACK !!!!

KINDA TAKES ME BACK TO THAT RANCID HAROLD FALTEMEYER PUS FROM 'BEVERLY HILLS COP' . . . . ONLY THIS IS COOL, GROOVY AND HUMOURSLY SILLY . . . . I ALWAYS THOUGHT THAT 'GYM' WAS JUST A BLOKE'S NAME . . . . WHAT THE FUCK ???

I'M SURE THERE'S A FEW OF YOU OUT THERE WHO'LL 'GET IT' . . . . FOR WHATEVER THE REASON.

"KICKSTART HARLEY DAVIDSON PANHEAD" ['NITOZINHO' POOTUBE] . . . . I LOVE THIS SORT OF BEAST . . . . SHORT PIPES, PANTS REMOVING OPEN PRIMARY, NARROW BARS, BARE BONES MINIMUM . . . . AND A SUPER COMPACT SHORT WHEELBASE LIKE IVAN MAUGHER'S SPEEDWAY RIG . . . . ANOTHER ONE OF THE MYRIAD GEMS IN THE LAND OF THE PERIOD PERFECT . . . . THE LOW IDLE ALWAYS FREAKS ME OUT THOUGH . . . .

Is it just me and my ageing, barely functional eyesight or is this one compressed little bobby chobber, the rear bag is just about biting through the gearbox by the look of it . . . . no matter, one terrifically cool lookin scoot from the home of raw seafood, fast trains and the highly unstable Western Pacific Subduction Zone . . . . also the epicentre of the "I bet my forty five degree V-twin can idle lower than yours", if you listen closely you can hear the bottom end screaming 'please adjust the fucking idle up just a bit' . . . . cool bombs away, tora, tora, tora !!! 

DZ DEATHRAYS "COPS CAPACITY" . . . . STRAIGHT OUTTA BRISBANE COMES THE DEATHRAYS, TWO BLOKES AND A TRUCKLOAD OF ANGST . . . . GARNERING HEAPS MORE CRITICAL ACCLAIM AND DESERVED INTERNATIONAL RECOGNITION BY THE MINUTE . . . . THRASH BOOM BANG, C'MON, SHAKE THAT THANG . . . . GOTTA DIG A MESSAGE OF UNIVERSAL TRUTH . . . . JUST LISTEN AND WATCH, YOU'LL GET IT !!!

I HAVE TO SAY, THE AUSSIE INDIE MUSIC SCENE IS LOOKING MIGHTY HEALTHY AT THE MOMENT . . . . SO MUCH GOOD SHIT EMERGING FROM UNDER THE FLOORBOARDS . . . . BRISBANE, MY STATE'S CAPITAL, HAS ALWAYS BEEN A HOTBED OF MUSICAL SUBVERSION DATING BACK TO THE SAINTS . . . . PERHAPS IT'S A REACTION TO THE HISTORICAL LITANY OF STRONGARM POLICE TACTICS . . . . AUSSIE, AUSSIE, AUSSIE, OI, OI, OI !!!

"HAPPY DAYS AND THE MEATHEAD MINDFUCK PSYCHOSIS" . . . . IT WAS A NICE ENOUGH MORNING FOR A THRASH THROUGH THE BACKWOODS OF THE GOLD COAST TODAY . . . . OVERCAST WITH THE THREAT OF RAIN, GUSTY, ALL OVER THE SHOP WINDS AND TWENTY EIGHT DEGREES OF PRE SUMMER HEAT . . . . THE PUPLE PENIS THROBBING SWEETLY BETWEEN MY WELCOMING, SPREAD LEGS . . . . THEN . . . .

. . . . THINGS TOOK A TURN FOR THE STUPID, CARE OF ONE FUCKTARD GORILLA ON AN ACCIDENTAL SEARCH FOR SOME EJAMAKAYSHUN REGARDING LIFE, THE UNIVERSE AND THE MIND EXPANSION OPPORTUNITES YOU NEVER EXPECT, CARE OF YOURS TRULY . . . . I HONESTLY HATE AGRO, HAVE MY ENTIRE LIFE, BUT I SUCK AT BACKING DOWN AND RELISH A VERBAL JOUST . . . . ESPECIALLY WITH IDIOTS. 

I'd pulled off the highway feeling tip-top-of-the-world-ma to get a packet of smokes before I began the ride in earnest, literally in and out was the plan. As I rolled up to the forecourt of the servo there's a trio of big fellas, all younger than me, standing around their bling mosheens having a coffee, all eyes on the solo dude approaching them. I pull up, turn the vibrator off, undo and remove my lid while minding my own business and walk into the shop, buy my fags and come back outside to the bike, now the centre of the mini mob's attention . . . . 'nice bike' says large chap #1, 'cheers buddy' says me in response, at the same time as I'm unwrapping the cellophane from the Marlboro reds, I slide one free of the pack, stick it between my lips and light it up when big chap #2 suddenly blurts out in a tone that goes straight up my nose and into the attack gland, 'whadayagotTriumphonyajacketfor?' 

Be cool Dog, says I to myself, [because that's the name I've had for the last thirty five years] don't get too nasty just yet . . . . 'because I can' is my slightly ammended, flat, stick it up your arse response, 'butyourideaHarley' retorts barely intelligible, genius observer boy . . . . now the adrenalin starts pumping toward the hypothalamus, I fucking detest retarded giblet sniffers like this dick, he's angling for a reaction and he's about to get one . . . . 'no, really, shit, it was a '69 Bonneville when I left home half an hour ago' . . . . at this point silent chap #3 intervenes with something along the lines of 'come on whatever-his-name-was leave it alone', which I figure is a good idea, an ugly scene at half eight on a Saturday morning is not my idea of fun.

Without saying anything more I start putting on my lid and doing up the strap, chap #2 is clearly still in the mood to be learned a little as he repeats his opening gambit about the Triumph patch as he's being steered back to his ride by happy chap #1 and silent chap #3 . . . . the best I can muster at such short notice and without the morning caffeine injection under the belt is 'I just like fucking with peoples heads mate and it seems to be working just perfectly' . . . . as I jab the go button on the Purple Penis, Brain Boy is getting obstreperous with his two restraining buddies but I'm away and on the road before he can break free of their grip and question me further, the old ticker is racing and I can feel the sweat on my forehead as I accelerate up the road to the Hinterland . . . . once again my all purpose fuckwit magnet has operated at peak efficiency and led to another of life's little moments . . . . if only I could learn to not react, but that shit ain't ever gonna happen.

 

For what it's worth, that now frayed and grimy Triumph patch has been on the sleeve of my jacket since about 1993, it wasn't the 'real' Trumpy logo I wanted but it was all I could find at the swap meet back then to go on my then brand new jacket, it's now a whole bunch tighter but it still does the job and the patch will be staying exactly where it is . . . . just because I'm now riding Milwaukee's finest doesn't mean that the love of Trumpys and all other forms of two wheeled wonders has diminished any, I like bikes, just as I like music, cars, booze, chicks, art, literature etc, etc, etc . . . . life is way too short to let narrow minded tunnel vision fuck with maximising your enjoyment quotient . . . . or dealing with meatheads without a clue.

The rest of the day on the road was a hoot . . . . just as it always is and always should be, live to ride, ride to anywhere . . . . just ride the shit out of it . . . . be safe homiez, have a good weekend !!!

"KAWASAKI TRIPLE FACTORY - THE LITTLE MT3 1971" ['MITIKMOTO'] . . . . MENTAL MINI MONSTER EXTREME, HOW TO TRIPLE THE FUN OF A CLASSIC MINIBIKE . . . . STUFF A 250cc TRIPLE UNDER ITS BACKBONE AND BOB'S YOUR MOTHER'S VERY QUICK BROTHER . . . . THE FACTORY SHOULDA DONE THIS WAY BACK IN 1970 . . . . COULDN'T HAVE HANDLED ANY WORSE INTO CORNERS THAN THE ORIGINAL MACH III

FROM THE "BEAUTIFULLY STUPID" FILES COMES THIS BONA FIDE [TWO] STROKE OF GENIUS . . . .

The legend of the Kwaka Mach III is somewhat of a deadly double edged sword, while there isn't any denying that in a straight line the two-stroke triple was the quickest thing around in the day, the old Flexi Flyer was a notorious widowmaker when confronted with even a hint of required cornering not to mention the merest sniff of rain within a two hundred mile radius . . . . scarily fucking woeful would be an exercise in the art of understatement, I was only a ten year old anklebiter when they came out over here but the memory of their shat pants inducing, banshee howl and the lingering odour of Castrol in the air after the schizoid death machine had long vanished from sight will remain with me forever . . . . I got to ride one for the first and last time when I was at Classic Bike Tune in about '93 or '94, even with modern rubber, steering damper and a fairly ginger right wrist it wasn't a pleasant experience . . . . nah, you triple freaks can keep that shit !!!  

Back to the focus of this post, the wee green machine with a belly full of badness . . . . you gotta love the notion of stuffing massive donks into rigs never meant to accommodate such things, it's the hot rod tradition that has transcended time . . . . blokes being blokes and the theory of when way too fucking much is barely enough, go bigger . . . . the seeds planted by Roth's cartoons made real . . . . this little rocket is perfect, the baby Kwaka triple looking like a two wheeled version of a blown hemi in a Topolino, complete psychotic overkill at its most brilliant . . . . I'd like to think that the tyrants of triple two strokers may one day throw together one of each capacity, the two-fiddy is outta the way so now we can look forward to the 350, 400, 500 and the mac daddy 750 making an appearance . . . . just what every eight year old, backyard basher needs . . . . "look mum, no head !!" . . . . yep, in the world of hot rods and hot bikes, nothing succeeds like total excess . . . . bring it on !!!!

LeBEEF - BIGTIME BIKE BUILDING BRILLIANCE . . . . THIS SON OF A SWEDE HAS BEEN FULLY IN TOUCH WITH THE NORSE CHOPPER GODS FOR MORE THAN A DECADE . . . . FOLLOWERS CAN NEVER BE LEADERS AND PERFECTIONISTS DON'T TOLERATE LESS THAN PERFECTION . . . . AS SEEN IN THE LATEST ISSUE OF GKM . . . . DROOLING OVER GUY'S WRITE UP IN THE THRONE ROOM I GOT HIT BY THE DESIRE TO SEE MORE . . . .

Once more I find myself asking just what the fuck is going into the water supply in Sweden, aquavit, vodka, a rare, sub Arctic strain of peyote, liquid genius . . . . who knows, but it's been going on for some time now, all the way back to the eighties . . . . and Mattias, Son of Anders, is demonstrably drinking his fair share of it . . . . 'quod erat demonstrandum'.

I'll not bore you with any long winded blurb here other than to say that while ensconced in the dunny, where most of my serious reading and literary research is done these days, I was reading for the umpteemth time and ogling at LeBeef's glorious, glowing, golden mosheen as featured in the current issue of Guy's Kool Magazine . . . . fuck me, it is singularly outstanding . . . . check it out if you haven't already, subscribe now if it ain't arriving in your letterbox . . . . anyway . . . . I just had this flash that maybe having a quick search on the interweb might turn up something additional to what's in the mag, and by Thor, by Odin and by Loki, shazzam, there it was on the trusty PooTube . . . . in almost three dimensional, all moving, all growling, all moving, all horn inducing splendour . . . . a perfect visual feast, finish, fit, style, stance, the entire fucking sheboinker, a symphony in chopper sex . . . . without question, one of the prettiest bikes put together in the last twelve months . . . . drool on people !!!! 

SHIT, SORRY . . . . FORGOT TO THANK 'SHERIFFMEDIAGROUP' FOR PUTTING THE CLIP UP ON POOTUBE, CHEERS MAN . . . . SCOPE OUT THEIR CATALOGUE OF COOL STUFF.