"LOW PIPES SCRAPE NICE" + "EVERYTHING NEW IS OLD AGAIN" . . . . TWO YEARS, TWO MONTHS SINCE I ACQUIRED THE MOTORCYCLE MARQUE I HAD SWORN I'D NEVER OWN . . . . 40,000 KLMS, NO UNFORESEEN ROADSIDE DRAMAS, THE PURPLE PENIS HAS PROVEN ONE TRUSTY STEED . . . . I DIDN'T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT THE HATERS WHEN I PUT DOWN THE DEPOSIT AND I CARE JUST AS LITTLE NOW . . . . MOST FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTION . . . . "WHAT MODEL IS IT ??"

TAKEN FROM THE "IT IS WHAT IT IS" FILES . . . . LOCATED IN BETWEEN "FUCK YOU VERY MUCH" AND "PATINA COMES OVER TIME AND WITH USE, NOT IN A CAN" . . . .

Haters and piss-takers, you've never worried me, neither face to face nor across the wide, faceless unknown that is the ether of the interwebnet, I knew exactly what I was gonna do to the 'Farty Eight' from the moment I first clapped eyes on one in 2010 just as surely as I was aware of the derision and scorn that would be poured upon me for buying the little fucker in the first place . . . . furthermore, I've never deluded myself with the bullshit fallacy about it magically turning into a 'custom bike', modified is what it is, I've only ever owned and ridden basically stock bikes over the last thirty odd years, four of them Trumpies, that have had a heavy dose of personal modifications inflicted upon them, same shit with cars, and I've always ended up being totally stoked on the end result . . . . I ain't no guru of custom building like so many of the crew out there whose skills and creativity I admire and respect so much, and have never claimed to be such a bloke, I have never chopped anything except food and illicit substances, and I only indulge in one of those anymore . . . . I'm just a guy who's confident [some might even correctly assume 'arrogant' is more appropriate] in his aesthetic sensibilities and abilities, I have a decent eye for things, always have, plain and simple, and just know I can achieve something that I'll totally love because it looks cool and functions properly . . . . but also, what happens as an accidental bi-product is it becomes something others generally dig as well, which is what we all kinda want, if you don't admit to that, you're telling fibs, the Penis Mobile is just another example of my ongoing history of tweeking shit and showing my influences of the last forty plus years.    

Mods inflicted have been, bars, pipes, Power Commander and commensurate re-map [?], Progressive Suspension front and rear, chrome rims and S/S spokes and nipples, BCM airfilter and Willis Bolts, 4.5 gallon tank and my paint design by Von Pato, H.D shift peg, H.D grips, Speed Merchant derby cover, Death Machine non points cover, stripped and polished fork brace and fork legs, ditched belt guards, output shaft pulley cover, L/H mirror, two tons of extraneous factory plastic shit and reflectors . . . . 'consumables' include, three rear tires, two steer tires, two L/H peg rubbers, one derby cover seal, one complete set of swingarm bearings, bushes and spacer, five oil filters, however many litres of oil, two fork oil changes and three sets of plugs . . . . not too shabby for a skirtster that has covered forty thousand kiloflogs in a bee's dick over two years.

Next on the agenda, speaking of customs and chops, is my much anticipated '74 FXE, code named, Project Shoveller . . . . stay tuned, or not.