HEAVY METAL . . . . THESE ARE TWO OF MY FAVOURITE THINGS . . . . I LOVE IT WHEN SILVER STARTS TO GET OLD AND BEAT UP, PATINA AND BEYOND . . . . NEVER BEEN ONE FOR LOTS OF JEWELLERY, TWO RINGS, AN EARRING AND A WATCH, THAT'S IT . . . . PURPLE'S ALWAYS BEEN MY FAVOURITE COLOUR . . . . AMETHYST JIGGER FROM 'THE GREAT FROG' IN LONDON, PINKY BAND FROM A FLEA MARKET THIRTY YEARS AGO . . . . FINGERS FROM A BUNCH OF FUCKING BANANAS

Weird, first thing I did when I left school at the end of 1979 was get my ear pierced properly instead of jamming safety pins in it, obviously I was instantly a 'poofta' or a queer, cause only a homosexual would wear an earring, in fact if you had it in your left lobe you were most definitely riding the chocolate cha-cha, or so the sadly misguided urban, macho man myth would have had everyone believe . . . . the weird shit is that these days I feel like I don't even have my ear pierced when I see folk with multiple things hanging off and outta them, body mods and all the other stuff, back then ink was pretty fucking rad as well, real social outcast stuff, bikers, sailors, rockers, sharpies and a few other counter-cultural sub-groups, even when I got my first work done in '92 . . . . thank fuck things have changed as far as perceptions and acceptance goes . . . . it's a bit of a bummer though when you got librarians, ballerinas and accountants emblazoned with body art, not cause they shouldn't . . . . it's just lost its impact I guess . . . . whatever, fuck it, be free, do your thing . . . . we're all sheep one way or t'other in the final analysis . . . . baaaaa, baaaaaa . . . . maaaaaaa.

EVERY BLOKE SHOULD BE ALLOWED TO PICK HIS OWN RING . . . . IT'S NATURAL

MY 88 YEAR OLD MOTHER CALLS IT A 'CORGANANNY' . . . . MUM, WHAT THE FUCK ???