"CAFE RACER - 131" JIM'S SPEED EDITION H-D" ['HARLEYRACINGBIKE'] . . . . BEEN OUT SEEKING PIPE INSPIRATION LATELY, GOT A YEARNING FOR TITANIUM BUT IT'S SO FUCKING EXPENSIVE FOR THE CORRECT GRADE TUBE . . . . HAVE LOVED THE SEGMENTED LOOK FOR AGES, ANYTHING THAT SHOWCASES THE CREATORS TALENT AND ART GIVES ME THE HORN . . . . FELL ONTO THIS BIG INCH MISSILE AND THOUGHT IT PRETTY BLOODY COOL . . . . BUT WAIT, THERE'S MORE !!!

. . . . AND THE MORE IN THIS CASE IS ALL ABOUT LESS.

I RECTION IT'S ONE REALLY COOL LOOKIN LOW LEVEL LAND ROCKET, MONSTER JIM'S MOTORVATOR WITH OPEN PRIMARY NEATLY JAMMED IN BETWEEN THE MONOSHOCK FRAME RAILS, GARGANTUAN, PIGEON SUCKING BELLMOUTH, NICELY THOUGHT OUT AND SEEMINGLY BEAUTIFULLY EXECUTED, TOTAL HORN PIPES AND CANS, WHEEL SELECTION THAT SUITS, SCHMICK LINES ON THE CUTE SEAT/DUCKTAIL CAPER, TANK PROFILE THAT HARMONISES PERFECTLY ATOP THE BIG TWIN, FULL TILT RACE POSITION CLIP-ONS, FRONT ANCHORS THAT COULD PULL UP THE USS NIMITZ, A FUCKING TOTALLY COOL THING INDEED . . . . WHAT ELSE COULD YOU WANT ???

HOWEVER, THE THING THAT REALLY IMPRESSES ME THE MOST . . . . HIS STARTING TECHNIQUE . . . . PUSH THE BUZZER, A COUPLE OF GENTLE BLIPS ON THE TWIST GRIP AND IT'S AWAY, GROWLING LIKE A SASQUATCH ON STEROIDS AND AMPHETAMINES, ALL LATENT, RELAXED MUSCLE, READY TO BE UNLEASHED IN TYRE DESTROYING OUTPUT SHOULD THE OCCASION ARISE . . . . YOU KNOW IT'S THERE, IT'S IMPLICIT BY VIRTUE OF UNDERSTATEMENT RATHER THAN ANY OVERTLY 'BLOKEY', SIXTEEN YEAR OLD SCHOOLBOY, PREMATURE EJACULATION, MINE'S BIGGER THAN YOURS, STYLE OF FIRING THE FUCKER UP, WINDING THE THROTTLE ON UNTIL VALVE BOUNCE IS ACHIEVED, TOP-END COMPONENTS ARE INITIALLY STARVED OF LUBRICANT AND EVERYONE WITHIN EARSHOT IS DEAFENED AND LEFT MUTTERING, 'WHAT A FUCKING KNOB !!!' . . . . WELL, THAT'S WHAT ALWAYS GOES THROUGH MY MIND.

I LOVE EXCESS DISPLAYS OF HORSEPOWER  AS MUCH AS THE NEXT BLOKE, IT'S THE MOST SIGNIFICANT AND VISCERAL PART OF THE WHOLE BIKE/CAR EXPERIENCE, THE KNOWLEDGE THAT BETWEEN YOUR HAIRY, WHITE LEGS SITS AN ENGINE THAT COULD PEEL PAINT OFF THE NEXT DOOR NEIGHBOUR'S CEILING AT THE FLICK OF A WRIST OR STAB OF THE HOOF . . . . BUT ISN'T THE INSTANT CANING OF SAID POWERPLANT JUST TO HAVE ANY SURROUNDING LIFEFORMS EITHER FLY, RUN OR CRAWL AWAY, OR THINK OUT LOUD OR TO THEMSELVES, 'WHAT A FUCKING RETARD WANKER' JUST A BIT OBVIOUS . . . . ARE YOU NOT CONFIDENT IN THE POWERFULLY SUBTLE NOISE AND ALARM STARTING BOTTOM END THUMP OF YOUR PRIDE AND JOY TO IMPRESS THOSE WHO GIVE A FUCK WITHOUT HAVING TO NAIL IT INTO MOTOR DESTROYING REDLINE BEFORE THE FUCKER IS EVEN CIRCULATING ITS LIFEBLOOD PROPERLY, IS THE FACT YOU LOOK LIKE A COMPLETE COCKHEAD NEVER ENOUGH TO CONTAIN THE FLOOD OF SEMEN INTO YOUR TROUSERS . . . . I THOUGHT NOT. LIKE I'VE SAID ON PREVIOUS OCCASIONS, LESS IS NEARLY ALWAYS MORE, DON'T GIVE THE GAME AWAY BEFORE THE KICK-OFF . . . . WALK SOFTLY AND CARRY A BIG STICK . . . . OR JUST CONTINUE BEING A COPYBOOK ARSECLOWN . . . . WHATEVER.