Thursday 4 July 2013

"JOHNNY WOLF'S ASPHALT ARSEKICKER" . . . . THIS PERFECTLY PREPPED SKIRTSTER IS THE PROPERTY OF ACE PILOT FROM THE 'ASPHALT SQUADRON' BLOG, WING COMMANDER JOHNNY WOLF . . . . LIKE MOST GUYS LONG TERM RIDES IT'S BEEN A GRADUAL AND EVOLUTIONARY TRANSMOGRIFICATION OVER SEVERAL YEARS . . . . SO WHY IS IT HERE ON MY BLOG YOU MAY ASK . . . . IT PROVES CONCLUSIVELY THAT A UBER-COOL SPORTY DOESN'T HAVE TO BE A RIGID.

I get pretty pissed off with the headspace that dictates the only cool, legit form for a 'custom' bike has to be a rigid, I'm not hating on them for second, simply stating that it shouldn't be a given and each and every project and concept should be appraised on its own individual merits, the presumption that only a rigid frame is the basis for aesthetic cool is frankly masturbatory, pinhead bullshit, particularly when it comes to the only Harley that vaguely resembles a compact, precise, functional and utterly rideable motorcycle . . . . the Skirtster.

In my not so humble opinion, of all the myriad examples of rigid Sporty chops I've seen over the last twenty years it'd be a miracle if twenty percent of them actually ended up looking anything remotely like 'cool'. Sorry, but once you start seriously fucking with the balance and lines of the frame, the front end, swing arm, tank position, seat, pipes and wheel/tire selection . . . . you'd better have a really good idea of what the final vision will be or you and your one off, custom chopper/bobber/flopper are clubbed to death by the ugly stick. Bottom line is, so few guys have that innate sensibility to get it right, and those who don't never ask those who do for opinions, end result, shit on a stick.

Alright, enough of my ranting for now, to the scoot in the spotlight. The thing I love most about Johnny's Skirtster is that it tweeks my own skewed perceptions, notably regarding solids/mags/billet on bikes. As a rule I fucking detest them, reminds me of the plug ugly parts of the late eighties and early/mid nineties, all those puke stoopid water type flame job ripoffs, you know those hideous pinks and turquoise colours with big 'drips' hangin off them and all that poxy billet hardware . . . . yet the combo on this wickedly lithe and nimble lookin jigger is bloody brilliant, solid on the rear, sorta retro five spoke up front that almost makes the very useful front pick near invisble. Then there's the tank positioning, Frisco'd and right back on top of the frame. The fork shrouds add another touch of classy minimalism in cleaning up the frontend, the rake as well is just spot on, the short, chopped 2-into-1 is the dog's fucking bollocks and also allows a complete view of the no frills swingarm and shocks. I'm not a monster fan of the 'black bike' ideal either but I can't imagine this thing any other way . . . . yes indeedly, Johnny Wolf's swingarm Sporty chop is damned near perfect in my books, made all the moreso by the knowledge that when push comes to shove this piece of kit will handle its way out of or into anything, even with the fabulous non tires that the Deathmasters represent . . . . well, except wet grass at BF5 when dabbing the front stopper.

Visit Johnny at http://asphaltsquadron.blogspot.com.au/ . . . . photo by Johnny Wolf.














9 comments:

  1. Sweet Sporty! No bling is a good thing!
    Thanks for your positive comments about my Tracker. After reading your rant with Tim Loveless, I didn't think you liked them!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh fuck no Andy, just the ones who use the concept for legitimizing ugly, aesthetically abhorrent execution and design, a lot like many guys with their choppers and Punk with no talent bum musos. Yours are an example of how to do it well and have the thing cohesive and flowing, sorry about any unintended ill will. Timmy and I hold similarly cynical, old cunt views on things, we both know its all subjective but we're both prepared to call a spade a piece of shite.

      Delete
  2. Yep, the swingarm custom seems to be the newest thing, and there's nothing wrong with that. I saw a post a while back, (I think maybe on chopcult) advocating the swingarm craze. In it, they showed dozens of examples of cool as shit swingarm bikes.
    Additionally, an old fuck with crushed discs like me can ride them for more than twenty miles without going into traction.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Funny shit man, I wasn't aware it was now considered the new 'craze', I reckon there's room for em all, just so many rigids look like crap with broken, jarring lines, poorly thought out tank position etc . . . then I see things like yours and others and they always blow me away.
      Re the old bugger back syndrome, be interesting to see how I go with the bloody shovel when it's up and running in 'solid' format, never owned one and ridden a rigid for anything more than a couple of laps around the block where our workshop used to be back in the nineties . . . I can envision a kidney bleed problem as well as spine failure.

      Delete
  3. Used to hang out with a bunch of WW2 , and Korean War vets (sadly most of them have moved on...) at a local McD's...swapping stories about bikes. One Navy guy , (his mom was born on the Isle of Man...)..used to hang around with a bunch of the original Boozefighters after the war. He always referred to bikes as 'motors'. He'd say things like, 'we were out riding our 'motors' one time...'. This bike made me think of that. A motor, with enough stuff attached to it, to get down the road.When I was wrenching on them, I'd get a kick out of riding rigids and chops, but being a tall lanky dude, sometimes I felt folded up on them, probably because they were tailored to fit their owners. We'll see how my back gets along with my hardtailed Trumpet project someday...

    ReplyDelete
  4. Wow, I just now came across this, thanks for the props, it's very humbling. While it may be all the "craze" now, the bike has basically looked like this less the fork shrouds since 2009 ha ha. The tank is out being painted as I write this with a traditional flame job. The bike has always reminded me of a hot rod, and flake and candy panel paint jobs are very much played out....pretty much on every corner here in So-Cal USA, hell even on the baggers now. So keep an eye on my blog for updates, and thank you again for the kind words.
    Peace-n-Grease
    JW

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. A real pleasure mate and thanks for coming on board . . . it's weird, I'd been accidentally following its evolution almost since the first time you had shots of it on the net, maybe on the older QCB site, and always dug it, even in it's infancy . . . believe mate, I'll be keeping an eye out, stay safe and keep em rolling. WLP

      Delete
  5. Thank Homie!
    BTW- I now do remember you mentioning my bike and yer blog...it was the day I posted the pic above. Ha ha gettin' old sux!

    JW

    ReplyDelete