Tuesday 5 March 2013

"CAFE RACER - 131" JIM'S SPEED EDITION H-D" ['HARLEYRACINGBIKE'] . . . . BEEN OUT SEEKING PIPE INSPIRATION LATELY, GOT A YEARNING FOR TITANIUM BUT IT'S SO FUCKING EXPENSIVE FOR THE CORRECT GRADE TUBE . . . . HAVE LOVED THE SEGMENTED LOOK FOR AGES, ANYTHING THAT SHOWCASES THE CREATORS TALENT AND ART GIVES ME THE HORN . . . . FELL ONTO THIS BIG INCH MISSILE AND THOUGHT IT PRETTY BLOODY COOL . . . . BUT WAIT, THERE'S MORE !!!

. . . . AND THE MORE IN THIS CASE IS ALL ABOUT LESS.

I RECTION IT'S ONE REALLY COOL LOOKIN LOW LEVEL LAND ROCKET, MONSTER JIM'S MOTORVATOR WITH OPEN PRIMARY NEATLY JAMMED IN BETWEEN THE MONOSHOCK FRAME RAILS, GARGANTUAN, PIGEON SUCKING BELLMOUTH, NICELY THOUGHT OUT AND SEEMINGLY BEAUTIFULLY EXECUTED, TOTAL HORN PIPES AND CANS, WHEEL SELECTION THAT SUITS, SCHMICK LINES ON THE CUTE SEAT/DUCKTAIL CAPER, TANK PROFILE THAT HARMONISES PERFECTLY ATOP THE BIG TWIN, FULL TILT RACE POSITION CLIP-ONS, FRONT ANCHORS THAT COULD PULL UP THE USS NIMITZ, A FUCKING TOTALLY COOL THING INDEED . . . . WHAT ELSE COULD YOU WANT ???

HOWEVER, THE THING THAT REALLY IMPRESSES ME THE MOST . . . . HIS STARTING TECHNIQUE . . . . PUSH THE BUZZER, A COUPLE OF GENTLE BLIPS ON THE TWIST GRIP AND IT'S AWAY, GROWLING LIKE A SASQUATCH ON STEROIDS AND AMPHETAMINES, ALL LATENT, RELAXED MUSCLE, READY TO BE UNLEASHED IN TYRE DESTROYING OUTPUT SHOULD THE OCCASION ARISE . . . . YOU KNOW IT'S THERE, IT'S IMPLICIT BY VIRTUE OF UNDERSTATEMENT RATHER THAN ANY OVERTLY 'BLOKEY', SIXTEEN YEAR OLD SCHOOLBOY, PREMATURE EJACULATION, MINE'S BIGGER THAN YOURS, STYLE OF FIRING THE FUCKER UP, WINDING THE THROTTLE ON UNTIL VALVE BOUNCE IS ACHIEVED, TOP-END COMPONENTS ARE INITIALLY STARVED OF LUBRICANT AND EVERYONE WITHIN EARSHOT IS DEAFENED AND LEFT MUTTERING, 'WHAT A FUCKING KNOB !!!' . . . . WELL, THAT'S WHAT ALWAYS GOES THROUGH MY MIND.

I LOVE EXCESS DISPLAYS OF HORSEPOWER  AS MUCH AS THE NEXT BLOKE, IT'S THE MOST SIGNIFICANT AND VISCERAL PART OF THE WHOLE BIKE/CAR EXPERIENCE, THE KNOWLEDGE THAT BETWEEN YOUR HAIRY, WHITE LEGS SITS AN ENGINE THAT COULD PEEL PAINT OFF THE NEXT DOOR NEIGHBOUR'S CEILING AT THE FLICK OF A WRIST OR STAB OF THE HOOF . . . . BUT ISN'T THE INSTANT CANING OF SAID POWERPLANT JUST TO HAVE ANY SURROUNDING LIFEFORMS EITHER FLY, RUN OR CRAWL AWAY, OR THINK OUT LOUD OR TO THEMSELVES, 'WHAT A FUCKING RETARD WANKER' JUST A BIT OBVIOUS . . . . ARE YOU NOT CONFIDENT IN THE POWERFULLY SUBTLE NOISE AND ALARM STARTING BOTTOM END THUMP OF YOUR PRIDE AND JOY TO IMPRESS THOSE WHO GIVE A FUCK WITHOUT HAVING TO NAIL IT INTO MOTOR DESTROYING REDLINE BEFORE THE FUCKER IS EVEN CIRCULATING ITS LIFEBLOOD PROPERLY, IS THE FACT YOU LOOK LIKE A COMPLETE COCKHEAD NEVER ENOUGH TO CONTAIN THE FLOOD OF SEMEN INTO YOUR TROUSERS . . . . I THOUGHT NOT. LIKE I'VE SAID ON PREVIOUS OCCASIONS, LESS IS NEARLY ALWAYS MORE, DON'T GIVE THE GAME AWAY BEFORE THE KICK-OFF . . . . WALK SOFTLY AND CARRY A BIG STICK . . . . OR JUST CONTINUE BEING A COPYBOOK ARSECLOWN . . . . WHATEVER.

4 comments:

  1. Titanium, what keeps an SR-71 from becoming toast...pretty amazing stuff. Only Titanium I own is an incredibly light back packing 'spork'. Have never worked with it..An amazing range of coloration when it's welded.
    Imagine that bike gets with the program...funny I was out picking up a new phone the other day, and some nimrod out in the parking lot was warming up his crotch rocket at redline revs...never impressed, just feel sorry for that tortured metal.

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    1. The Blackbird always amazed me Laz, love the fact at ground level it leaks petrol like a Trumpy fuel tap, gaps between panels, seals that don't, seats that rattled in their runners, then get it up at Mach 327 and Bob's your mother's brother, still the fastest plane ever built I think, and I love the multi hued discoloration thing with titty stuff under heat stress and it sounds nicer than S/S as well . . . Nimrods and dying metal, a match made made in idiot heaven mate !!!


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    2. Would occasionally see the Blackbirds cruising around over Sac-Town...they would do some slow laps over the town to cool off from supersonic flight, then land at the local Base. Even then they would have to let the suckers cool for awhile before the ground crews could approach them...My old man used to develop the film from the high speed cameras...pretty amazing stuff.

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    3. Wow Laz . . . my old man may have scanned his peepers across those shots out here in his role as O.C Naval Intel and Comm . . . they're a miracle of aeronautical engineering to this day man.

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