"DEATH OF A RELATIONSHIP" . . . . THE FINAL BELL TOLLS FOR MY BELSTAFF 'TRIALMASTER', IT'S BEEN IN MY POSSESSION SINCE 1990 WHEN I WAS GIVEN IT AS A HAND-ME-DOWN BY A MUCH OLDER BUDDY . . . . GREASY, WAXY, DIRTY, SMELLY, FRAYED, BATTERED AND TOTALLY, ABSOLUTELY WATERPROOF, WINDPROOF AND FUNCTIONAL . . . . SO SAY WHAT YOU WILL, 'FLANNEL HARDCORE', THIS HAS FUCK ALL TO DO WITH WILL SMITH OR BRAD PITT !!!!

The old Trialmaster was bought new by Greg in 1975, so by the time he gave it to me it had been broken in and then some, by his own admission, it had never been re-waxed so it was a tad dried out, I spent eight hours reapplying beeswax one night with my mum's hairdryer about a week after he donated it to me and then had it done once more about five years ago by a professional . . . . apart from a couple of holes and tears which I had the same fella patch with waxed leather, it has proven an invaluable tool over the course of the nearly quarter of a century since it became mine, the only reason it's now been superceded by a new variation is I've become way too obese to fit something that was only ever an official size below my usual extra large requirements, but for twenty plus years it was the epitome of form and function being inextricably intertwined . . . . I don't want to wear some dayglo, Thinsulate lined, breathable, nylon microfibre, flash branded jumpsuit, I just want to wear a proven, long lasting, weatherproof jacket that does what it is supposed to, and that is simply to keep the fucking weather out.

Belstaff has now become a heavily fashion focused brand made in Italy, it's been seen on all the Hollywood elite over the last eight years and more and has also become the victim of being designated a hipster item along with Red Wings, Vans, CT's and a hundred other 'brands' that are now common as muck . . . . as for that, I don't give a shit, if something's inherently good and performs its designated task without fail, just because the Fashion Police, who have never actually owned one in most cases, deem it unhip and uncool ain't no reason not to own it . . . . however, when the price triples and the real purpose gets relegated to second level importance over style, then they can fuck off, and that's what's befallen the once brilliant Belstaff brand, it's not that Smith, Pitt, Cruise and McGregor are poncing about in them and every old Pommy bike owner is wearing one, even if it's an Asian rip-off, it's just they are now a shadow of their former self . . . . so, after much soul searching and equivocating over the last year, I've jumped ship for something else a little more honest and still made in the U.K and have consigned the dear old dirty friend to the closet which, after thousands of miles and megalitres of rain, dirt and foul weather is pretty bloody sad . . . . fare thee well old son, it's been a grand journey, you'll be gone but not forgotten.