Wednesday 12 June 2013

"DEATH OF A RELATIONSHIP" . . . . THE FINAL BELL TOLLS FOR MY BELSTAFF 'TRIALMASTER', IT'S BEEN IN MY POSSESSION SINCE 1990 WHEN I WAS GIVEN IT AS A HAND-ME-DOWN BY A MUCH OLDER BUDDY . . . . GREASY, WAXY, DIRTY, SMELLY, FRAYED, BATTERED AND TOTALLY, ABSOLUTELY WATERPROOF, WINDPROOF AND FUNCTIONAL . . . . SO SAY WHAT YOU WILL, 'FLANNEL HARDCORE', THIS HAS FUCK ALL TO DO WITH WILL SMITH OR BRAD PITT !!!!

The old Trialmaster was bought new by Greg in 1975, so by the time he gave it to me it had been broken in and then some, by his own admission, it had never been re-waxed so it was a tad dried out, I spent eight hours reapplying beeswax one night with my mum's hairdryer about a week after he donated it to me and then had it done once more about five years ago by a professional . . . . apart from a couple of holes and tears which I had the same fella patch with waxed leather, it has proven an invaluable tool over the course of the nearly quarter of a century since it became mine, the only reason it's now been superceded by a new variation is I've become way too obese to fit something that was only ever an official size below my usual extra large requirements, but for twenty plus years it was the epitome of form and function being inextricably intertwined . . . . I don't want to wear some dayglo, Thinsulate lined, breathable, nylon microfibre, flash branded jumpsuit, I just want to wear a proven, long lasting, weatherproof jacket that does what it is supposed to, and that is simply to keep the fucking weather out.

Belstaff has now become a heavily fashion focused brand made in Italy, it's been seen on all the Hollywood elite over the last eight years and more and has also become the victim of being designated a hipster item along with Red Wings, Vans, CT's and a hundred other 'brands' that are now common as muck . . . . as for that, I don't give a shit, if something's inherently good and performs its designated task without fail, just because the Fashion Police, who have never actually owned one in most cases, deem it unhip and uncool ain't no reason not to own it . . . . however, when the price triples and the real purpose gets relegated to second level importance over style, then they can fuck off, and that's what's befallen the once brilliant Belstaff brand, it's not that Smith, Pitt, Cruise and McGregor are poncing about in them and every old Pommy bike owner is wearing one, even if it's an Asian rip-off, it's just they are now a shadow of their former self . . . . so, after much soul searching and equivocating over the last year, I've jumped ship for something else a little more honest and still made in the U.K and have consigned the dear old dirty friend to the closet which, after thousands of miles and megalitres of rain, dirt and foul weather is pretty bloody sad . . . . fare thee well old son, it's been a grand journey, you'll be gone but not forgotten.

8 comments:

  1. Always wanted a 'waxed cotton' jacket. Like you say prices are rather stratospheric these days for the latest versions. For years I made do looking like a highway worker in my bright yellow, rubberized canvas, non-breathing, wind flapping, leaking at the crotch, one size fits all 2 piece suits. Been lucky and scored some cool gortex stuff at thrift stores (or charity shops as some call them...). Not too flashy in colors, and one is a 2 piece unit sold under the BMW brand that some rich man donated after having a minor off and scuffing it a little.It's more of a real winter riding suit, haven't used it much...but I'm sure it would be up to snuff in some pretty bleak weather. Keep forgetting your heading into the winter season 'down under'.

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    1. Luckily winter on the Gold Coast is just less warm than summer mate, but they are an unreal bit of kit and the old girl still has plenty of life left in it yet, I'll do a bit of blurb on the new model soon, I used to have a pair of super heavy, offshore oil rig yellow rain pants but some bastard pinched em when I left them on the verandah to dry off, couldn't even melt them on the headers of the Bonnies . . . if it's got BMW on it Laz I reckon you could rest assured that it's gonna do the job, the Krauts wouldn't put the spinning prop on them if they didn't.

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  2. I wear a Barbour International. Quite a bit cheaper than the Belstaff and just as good? Discuss!

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    1. Exactly what I got Andy, plain black and it's perfect, and a third of the price of the nuovo mondo Belstaffo . . . was out in a two hour downpour on the weekend, not so much as a damp patch . . . mind you, can't believe folk pay all the extra coin for the faux mud covered McQueen jigger, fake mud for Christ's sake, I mean, wear the fucker long enough and it'll get dirty, what is that shit !!!

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  3. Please mail to: Attn: Noot DFS/USA, 501 Richings Street, Charles City, Iowa USA 50616 "Im 6'1" 190 lbs. tall, lanky. Thank You !

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    1. What, you don't reckon I'm a chance at losing the necessary twenty five kg's that would see me fit in the the thing again . . . yeah, alright, I see what you mean.

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    2. I've lost 36kg's now. At least I think that's right. Stupid metric system!! 81lbs down anyway.

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    3. Shoot Wes, that's unreal man, you must be feelin tip-top-of-the-world-ma and rightly proud, not to mention just better, congrats buddy, stoked for ya !!! Bravo.

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