"HOTROD HAYRIDE 2012" [BY 'BUBBLEBOXLIZZIE' POOTUBE] . . . . WITH OVER SIX YEARS OF HISTORY BEHIND IT, THE 'HAYRIDE' IS A STAPLE ON THE POMMY/EURO SCENE . . . . RODS, CUSTOMS, BIKES, BANDS, BIRDS AND BOOZE . . . . . GOOD, HONEST, PETROL HEAD FUN . . . . NICE LITTLE PICTORIAL OVERVIEW, CHEERS 'BUBBLEBOXLIZZIE' FOR THE MASH-UP.

WORTHWHILE SCOPING OUT SEVERAL MODELS OF THE FOUR WHEELED VARIETY THAT YOU DON'T SEE MUCH OF EITHER IN THE STATES OR HERE IN OZ . . . . IF I EVER GET TO THE U.K I'LL GRAB ME MATE LOVEY AND CHECK THIS SHEBANG OUT FOR SURE . . . . HEY 'TC', HOPE YOU HAD A FAT TIME OF IT YOUNG FELLA !!!

MORE FROM THE ACCIDENTAL MOTORCYCLE MYTHOLOGY DEPARTMENT . . . . EVEN COMPLETELY SHITE, B-GRADE FILMS HAVE THEIR REDEEMING FEATURES . . . . 'THE THING WITH TWO HEADS' WAS SOOOOO BAD, HOWEVER, THE CHASE SCENE WILL BE FOREVER IN MY HEART . . . . EBONY AND IVORY LIVING IN PERFECT HARMONY, OH YEAH !!!!

Yet another shonky early seventies, semi exploitation flick that was once part of a group of B-movies considered so lacking in quality they were going to flushed down the cinemagraphic shitter of history . . . . until a whole bunch of us the world over started to develop a love afair with old plotless, talentless, scriptless, qualityless flicks in the latter part of the '80's . . . . I reckon all of us appreciators of the B-movie kulture ethic owe a big shout out and debt of gratitude to Joe Bob Briggs and his grounbreaking B-movie bible "Joe Bob Briggs Goes to the Drive-In" released in the late eighties.

If you haven't had the chance to read through this Holy Grail of all that is cheapo, pop culture, throw away, B-Movie, sexploitation, exploitation, Blacks/Blaxploitation opus, get your head out of your pop corn and give it a crack, essential reading up there with HST, Kerouac, Kesey, O'Rourke and the usual cast of luminaries.

Like many of it's genre, "The Thing with Two Heads" is mostly emminently forgettable shit, but the comic oneliners and the 'has to have' cop chase of the bi-cranial beast on a trailbike with pillion is simply fucking hilarious . . . . you get to see the highlights on this, the original trailer from the day, slapstick and uberschtick in nature, it still rates as a definitive moment in celluloid bike ridin urban folklore, have a giggle,  give it a squiz . . . . two heads are better than none !!!

"MOTORBIKIN" BY CHRIS SPEDDING AND SOME HARDCORE CHOPPER ACTION FROM THE SEVENTIES BRIT T.V SERIES 'FOLLYFOOT' . . . . NOTHIN REEKS MORE OF CHOPPER MANIA THAN A TRUMPY CUB WITH APES AND A SISSY BAR . . . . OR A CUTE LITTLE FLYING WING FOR COMPANY . . . . [VID BY 'SONIKS59' ON POOTUBE]

WE NEVER GOT 'FOLLYFOOT' OVER HERE IN OZ, UNLESS I JUST TOTALLY MISSED IT, BUT GOING BY THIS FOOTAGE IT WAS THE CHOPSHIZZLE, CHECK OUT THE WEE TRUMPET, APE CRAZY MOFO, LOOK OUT !!!! THE THREADS, THE HAIR, THE 70's, WHAT A FUCKING TRIP !!!

I WAS TRYIN TO GET MY FINGERS ON 'THE JOHNNYS' VERSION OF MR SPEDDING'S CLASSIC 'MOTORBIKIN' BUT FAILED, SPEDDING IS A GENIUS AXEMAN, PLAYED WITH LINK WRAY, BRYAN FERRY AND SMACK . . . . HAD BIG RESPECT FROM THE ORIGINAL PUNK CREW BACK IN THE DAY AS WELL AND PRETTY SURE HE'S STILL SHREDDING IT SOMEWHERE . . . . ALRIGHT PEEPS . . . . 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 . . . . 'FOLLYFOOT' !!!!

SHOULD I BE PISSED OFF OR IS THIS EMBLEMATIC OF THE 'MODERN' RUBBER MOUNTED SKIRTSTER . . . . TWENTY MONTHS AND LESS THAN 40,000 KLMS AND THE SWINGARM SO CALLED 'ISOLATORS' ARE FUCKED, FLOPPING ABOUT LIKE A PRICK IN A SHIRTSLEEVE . . . . WHAT NEXT, FRACTURED CASES ????

FILE UNDER " FLACID PURPLE PENIS BLUES" OR "FLUBBER MOUNTED FUCK UP"

Things get flogged out on any bike if you're using the thing on an almost daily basis, especially bits under changing load and rotation, I ain't a mechanic or engineer but I understand that concept, I would have thought that at just under 40,000 clicks in twenty months for a complete shit on behalf of the swingarm isolators was a teensy bit fucking weak . . . . I know blokes with isolastic No-Tones who have managed near on 100,000 fucking miles before they met their inevitable demise, and they were generally notorious for premature failure and set up drama, what the fuck Harley Davidson !!!!

Over the last month or so I'd noticed a little bit of harshness in the arse end department that was also manifesting itself in some more vague than usual mid corner steer 'weaving', I kinda figured it was nothing more than a adjustment of spring tension on the rear shocks now they've bedded in, that and maybe some new fork oil . . . . having read about and seen some pics of cracked cases on rubber mount sporties over the last couple of years or so I'd kinda surmised that perhaps it was related to nothing more than total operator neglect and lack of regular maintenance . . . . wrong !!!

Just seems to me a classic case of the factory fucking shit up, the way the swingarm mates to the frame, the rubber mounting, no full width pivot, the weave in sweeping corners that can never be fully ironed out . . . . up until recently, being a steadfast Trumpy owner, I'd not had too much time logged on the Bar and Shield product of any kind, but of the occasions I had the opportunity to throw a leg over mates Skirties, especially one 883 model from the early nineties set up for the 'Roaring Sporties' series, that little fucker pointed like it was on rails !!!!

Suffice to say, I now completely 'get' the respect, the reverance and the fascination among the cognescenti for the old Skirtster in its pre-rubberised format, it would appear that by making the decision to buy 'new' for the first Hoggly in my garage has not been as wise as I first thought, fuck it !!!!

Thank God the '74 shovel is totally devoid of nuovo mondo fripperies . . . . maybe if I get some solid bushes turned up for the now wallowing, graunching Purple Penis . . . . and of course, a two week wait for parts . . . . of course nobody's ever gonna need to order isolators, we'll just wait for the cases to break in half and sell them a brand new pair . . . . ha ha ha motherfucker !!!!

"DEADBEATMOTHERFUCKER"/DEADBEATMOTHERFUCKER/DEADBEATMOTHERFUCKER/DEADBEATMOTHERFUCKER/DEADBEATMOTHERFUCKER/DEADBEATMOTHERFUCKER/DEADBEATMOTHERFUCKER/DEADBEATMOTHERFUCKER/DEADBEATMOTHERFUCKER/DEADBEATMOTHERFUCKER[BY'KINGDEADBEAT'ONPOOTUBE]

I'm occasionally drawn to shit by some inner locating beam . . . don't know how it works or what prompts it. I really like this rough as guts, backpocket phone footage . . . . no passing judgement on the nature of the rides featured or any other criticisms . . . . blurry, grainy, scratchy and sketchy, it is what it is, end of story. Large ups to 'KingDeadbeat' for PooTubing it.

"1946 INDIAN CHIEF" [BY 'RIGHTEOUS CYCLE'] . . . . SUPER SWEET RESTO EXAMPLE OF THE BIG CHIEF . . . . AEROFLOW VALANCED GUARDS, ENCLOSED CHAIN AND OUTPUT SPROCKET . . . . THE PIPE FOLLOWING THE LOWER FRAME RAIL . . . . VOLUPTUOUSLY UNIQUE DESIGN . . . . A GREAT MATE OF MINE JUST JAGGED ONE.

OFTEN DESCRIBED AS AMERICA'S FIRST MOTORCYCLE PRODUCER, INDIAN AT ONE POINT OUT-PRODUCED, OUT-PERFORMED AND OUT-SOLD THEIR FIERCE RIVALS FROM MILWAUKEE YEAR AFTER YEAR . . . . SINGLES, SCOUTS, CHIEFS, IN-LINE FOURS, CARE OF BUYING OUT THE 'ACE' MARQUE, AND OTHER LESSER 'REDMAN' MODELS WERE HUGELY POPULAR WITH THE GENERAL PUBLIC AND LAW ENFORCEMENT AGENCIES ACROSS THE U.S AND BEYOND . . . . HOWEVER, IN THE YEARS FOLLOWING WWII, INDIAN STRUGGLED TO 'SHIFT UNITS', EVEN THE ADDITION OF A TELESCOPIC FRONT END ON THE BIGGER CUBE CHIEF AT THE END OF '49 WASN'T ENOUGH TO BOOST SALES . . . . THE ONLY INDIAN MOTORCYCLE BRAND I'LL EVER ACKNOWLEDGE CLOSED IT'S DOORS IN 1953 . . . . A SAD END OF AN ERA.



If there's one bloke more influential in my mid life switch of choice of two wheeled brand loyalty, it's Ponderosa Geoff, a motorcycle lover through and through but a devoted owner of the Motor Company's steeds above all else for the last forty years . . . . it was Geoff who first planted the seed in my mind, or burr under my arse, regarding Harley's going back to the early nineties, he'd take the Mickey out of me and beloved Bonnie suggesting one day I'd be ready for the 'real thing' . . . . it was also Geoff who quick as the proverbial flash greeted me with 'about time' when I went into the dealer where he was employed to slap the folding stuff on the skirtster twenty years later . . . .

Too cut a long story short, Geoff's super fund had been bleeding from the arse over the last few years and he was looking for a way to recoup some of the lost dollars . . . . hmmmmm . . . . what can we do, his lovely lady Sue is in on the deal too, a very understanding woman . . . . invest in vintage/classic bikes is what we'll do darlin . . . . pick up a pristine model in the States, ship it back here, hang onto the sucker for a while and then move the baby on . . . . instant profit if done properly, and Geoff is not one for half-arsing stuff, everything he does is annoyingly perfect !!!

So, after months of anal-retentive, fine tooth comb searching and quizing, he found his first mark, a mint '46 Indian Chief in DuPont yellow, which was about the loudest yellow known to human eyeballs in those days . . . . being a fastidious detail freak and meticulous dude by nature, he'd done enough background checking on this thing to make ASIO look like the Keystone Cops . . . . the big ol' Chief is fucking immaculate, numbers matching numbers matching, all correct example and it should be landing on our shores any day now . . . . I've drooled over the table in his office while perving on the photos on the computer and you know what . . . . Ponderosa Geoff has been hit up the arse by a rainbow, good on ya buddy . . . . who needs super ????

"DOA MOTORCYCLE" ['ROGERTIMM' POOTUBE] . . . . THE MOST SIGNIFICANT CHOPPER/BIKER FLICK EVER MADE . . . . BIGGER THAN 'EASY RIDER', WILDER THAN 'HELLS ANGELS ON WHEELS', MORE SINFUL THAN 'CHOPPERTOWN' AND FUNNIER THAN 'MOTOR MOUSE' . . . . RATED 'X' FOR XANY !!!!

THIS ROGER TIMM DUDE PUT THIS TOGETHER FOR SOME VIDEO COMPETITION BACK IN 2007, SOME OF YOU MAY HAVE SEEN IT, I HADN'T, AND IT CRACKED ME UP, LIKE FUCKING FUNNY . . . . A REAL MASH UP OF ANIMATION GENRES AND SOME PRETTY CHUCKLESOME DIALOGUE, TAKE A LOOK, BE INSPIRED, THERE'S SOMETHING IN THIS LUNACY FOR EVERYBODY . . . . EXCEPT MY MUM, SHE DIDN'T THINK IT WAS HARDCORE ENOUGH . . . . BUT THAT'S THE KINDA WOMAN SHE IS . . . .

"LUV SIC PART 3 - NUJABES FT. SHING02" ['MUSHIASHI' POOTUBE] . . . . HEY LOVEY HOMES DUDE MAN BRO . . . . I FOUND IT . . . . THE SOUNDTRACK FROM THE JASON JESSEE SLIDESHOW . . . . JUST A COOL BIT OF RELAXAYSHUN THERAPY . . . . GIT DOWN ON THE RIVERBANK !!!

"DR STRANGELOVE - PRECIOUS BODILY FLUIDS" . . . . 'WOMEN SEEK MY POWER AND THEY SEEK THE LIFE ESSENCE . . . . I DO NOT AVOID WOMEN, MANDRAKE . . . . BUT I DO DENY THEM MY ESSENCE' . . . . 'HE HE HE, YES' . . . . GENERAL RIPPER TO WING COMMANDER MANDRAKE . . . .

"MILO, 1942 HARLEY DAVIDSON WL" [BY 'MILOHISCOX' ON POOTUBE] . . . . I LOVE THIS SHORT BIT OF VINTAGE FUN, A BLOKE, HIS SCOOT, A PADDOCK AND A LOVELY BLUE SKY . . . . I REMEMBER BEING QUITE TAKEN WITH THE 'DICE' FEATURE ON THIS OLD FLATTY . . . . PARTICULARLY THE 'BIKE ON SIDE IN MUD' SHOT . . . . 'BOYS OWN' TYPE STUFF THIS IS.

'N.F.B', no fucking bullshit, is what this iddy biddy WL represents, zero lights, minimal comfort rigid frame, no front guard [fender if you're a Seppo] and a thwacking old side valve doing it's stuff down in the belly of the beast . . . . just getting out there and getting dirty, a beautiful and honest thing, fuck it, it's only a bike, get it filthy dirty, give the bastard a tub and Bob's your mother's brother. Apparently all those bloody Widows are grubby by nature . . . . kidding guys, please don't send the 'lads' around . . . . I didn't mean it . . . . I promise !!!

AW, SHIT . . . . !!!!! . . . . GOOD LUCK HONEY . . . . YOU DESERVE IT !!!!

NADA SURF "POPULAR" . . . . I WAS NEVER A JOCK AT HIGH SCHOOL, I LOVED MY SPORT, ESPECIALLY FOOTY, BUT BY THEN SKATIES, MUSIC, BIKES, CARS, MILITARY MODELS, BOOKS AND DRAMA HAD RELEGATED IT ALL TO JUST ANOTHER 'THING' . . . . AND THE WHOLE NARROW MINDED, HANDS ON DICK BULLSHIT MADE ME LAUGH . . . . GO THE GEEKS !!!!

"MAX SCHAAF" [FROM 'THEZENYODA' ON POOTUBE] . . . . FIGURES THAT A POST ABOUT ONE LEGEND SKATER SHOULD BE FOLLOWED BY ANOTHER . . . . MAX SCHAAF, SKATER, BIKE RIDER, BIKE BUILDER, VANS LOYALIST, PAINTER, SAD CLOWN COLLECTOR, SELF BELIEVER, PART TIME POET, THINKER, CONDITIONER . . . . 4Q FROM OAKLAND.

HOW DO YOU START A BLURB ABOUT THE MAXIMUM SCHAAFSTER . . . . ??? FUCK IT, JUST BLITHER LIKE ALWAYS, JUMP IN WITH MY BOOTS ON AND HOPE THAT IT GELS SOMEWHERE ALONG THE LINE . . . . FIRSTLY, NO COMPARISONS WITH JJ ARE VALID, I MEAN THAT IN A NICE WAY TO BOTH GUYS, OTHER THAN A SIMILAR SHARED HISTORY AT THE TOP OF THEIR RESPECTIVE PERIODS PRO SKATING PYRAMID, SO WE'LL MOVE RIGHT ALONG.

I reckon there is no other bike builder of his age who has as much universal peer respect and good will shown their way as the man from Oakland, I can't recall reading of any one person or group putting shit on him . . . . since following what is obviously a life long passion and obsession for classic 'golden era' choppers, inspired by influences he has always proudly and openly worn on his sleeve, and turning out a line of beautifully simple, clean and purposeful rides, his contribution to the renaissance of shed built cool scoots can't be overlooked . . . . I doubt that was ever part of any plan, it just happened that way.

Everytime you see him in an interview, listen to his telling of yarns, talkin about his own stuff or of someone elses, there is an almost tangible sense of a bloke being totally straight and speaking from the heart, a complete absence of show biz wank . . . . no pretence of being the 'tough guy' or the 'hero dude', nor any 'my shit doesn't stink coz I build cool bikes' bullshit, if anything, and again, without actually knowing the guy, there's generally a too funny, self deprecating thing going on, the self administered ego check mechanism.

Whatever, like so many of the 'gifted' members of this tiny world and this even tinier community of custom bike nutters the world over, he's an absolute 'unit', an individual, doing shit his way, accept no substitutes . . . . as the skate kid became the bike rider, who morphed seemlessly and naturally into the builder, the painter, the poet, the artist, the sad clown, the joker, nobody ever had any grounds to sledge or slag or talk dirt . . . . and that speaks volumes about the dude in itself.

***** The video is a pretty slick 'slideshow' of a majority of the two wheeled turnouts from the stable of 4Q Conditioning, it shows a series of unbelievably cool and permanently memorable rides created from his mind's eye . . . . the fact that everyone knows these bikes isan absolute indication of how highly they are rated by not only cycle geeks like me and other observers, but by his fellow builders and 'industry' cohorts. It's also rounded out with a selection of shots featuring some of the original Bay Area scoots that the Schaafster holds so dear . . . . I hope you dig it like I did.

JASON JESSEE, INTERNATIONAL ENIGMA AND HUMAN CONUNDRUM . . . . CONTROVERSIALIST, SKATER, PUNK, BIKE RIDER, BIKE BUILDER, SINNER, LOWRIDER, FOWL FANCIER, GUN OWNER, ILLUMINATO/INFLUENCIA . . . . ONE MULTI-FACETED DUDE . . . . EYEBALL THIS TOO COOL SLIDESHOW ON THE MAN FROM "SLIDER MAGAZINE VOL. 11"

THE WORLD ACCORDING TO THE ONE AND DEFINITELY ONLY JASON JESSEE MUST BE SOMETHING AKIN TO EXISTING IN A PARALLEL UNIVERSE, MIND YOU, I'VE NEVER MET THE DUDE, UNLIKE SOME OF YOU OUT THERE IN BLOGLAND . . . . BUT JUST LIKE MANY OF YOU, HE HAS INTRIGUED, BEFUDDLED, AMUSED AND BEMUSED ME SINCE HE CAME INTO THE PUBLIC GLARE AS THE PROTOTYPICAL GEN X SKATER ALL THOSE EONS AGO.

Very few contemporary blokes get as much coverage on as many divergent blogs as does the central character in the skate/chopper community classic "Pray for Me", as much as he has clearly freaked out a lot of crew, the Highway Murderer gets a fuckload of respect and kudos . . . . whether it's his skating prowess, his Whiteboy Chicano lowrider caper, the Black Tibetan or just writing off and being a first class weirdo, there is always a fragment of the Jason Jessee persona multiplier principle that will find favour with anyone.

The totally rad slideshow from "Slider Magazine" I've put up here is just another series of moments in time from the ever dynamically changing yet constantly consistent, 'The Life of Jason Jessee Show', skating, bikes, generally kooking out in the way that endears him to us all . . . . screwing up in public with honesty and without grovelling apologies is maybe the key single thing that endears him to all of us, 'this is who I am, chickens and all, I'm still here, paranoid and powering in my own little way' . . . . does he look fat in this ??? Anyone ??? Who gives a fuck, it's Jason Jessee, retro seventies barrio sox and all, just dig it.

CHILDREN COLLIDE "SOCIAL CURRENCY" ['UMUISICAU' ON POOTUBE] EXCELLENT CLIP, CRACKER TUNE . . . . BITCHIN BIT OF FRESH STUFF FROM CHILDREN COLLIDE OUTTA MELBOURNE . . . . DIG THE HYPNTOTIC MELODY, BE BEDAZZLED BY THE FLARES, BE ENTRANCED . . . . THEY'VE BEEN AROUND A WHILE AND WORK THE PATH LESS TRODDEN.

"DR STRANGELOVE . . . . MEIN FUHRER, I CAN WALK !!!" . . . . KUBRICK'S B+W MASTERPIECE . . . . THE GREATEST FILM EVER MADE WAS ON AGAIN LAST NIGHT . . . . I CAN'T HELP BUT WATCH IT, AND EVERY TIME ONLY REAFFIRMS MY OPINION . . . . SELLARS ON SELLARS, BLACK COMEDIC GENIUS . . . . KIDDIES, GET ONTO IT, HISTORY CAN BE SO MUCH FUN . . . . YIPPEE !!!!

"PISSTAKE CYNICISM PAR EXCELLENCE . . . . TIMELESS ANTI GOVERNMENT GENIUS"

HOW THIS POLITICAL HOT POTATO OF ITS TIME EVEN MANAGED TO SEE THE LIGHT OF A COLD WAR DAY IS BEYOND ME . . . . THE C.I.A, THE K.G.B AND MI6 MUST'VE BEEN FULLY PISSED AT BEING MADE TO LOOK THE TWITS THAT THEY WERE WHILE PLAYING A GLOBAL GAME OF NUCLEAR DESTRUCTIVE CHESS . . . . A BLACK COMEDY SO COMPLETE, SO INCISIVE THAT AS A HISTORY LESSON ON WHAT NOT TO DO AS FAR AS INTERNATIONAL DIPLOMACY IS CONCERNED IS MORE ACCURATE IN ITS DEPICTION THAN REAL LIFE.

Peter Sellars played three key roles, Wing Cmndr Mandrake, the U.S President, Murkin Muffley and last but by no stretch of twisted immagination least, Dr Strangelove himself, an over the fucking top portrayel of an ex Nazi super scientist, many of whom were the brains behind the NASA program and weapons development . . . . stunning performances from Keenan Wynn, George C Scott, Stirling Hayden and Slim Pickens bring this hyper-real bit of cinematic brilliance to scarier than fuck life.

Oh yeah, this is cutting edge shit, even fifty years down the road to peace, love and understanding, if you haven't seen it, especially those under 30-40, get your hands on a copy and take a trip back to the height of the Arms Race, Mineshaft Gaps, Mutually Assured Destruction, Precious Bodily Fluids and so much more . . . . this is stuff you have to know about, snap quiz tomorrow, study hard !!!!

THIS HAS ABSOLUTELY FUCK ALL TO DO WITH THEE CORMANS SINGLE RELEASE EARLIER IN THE YEAR . . . . BUT IT HAS EVERYTHING TO DO WITH GOING TO 'ATR' IMMEDIATELY, IMMEDIATELY I SAY . . . . JASON WEBBER'S LATEST POST IS A 'MUST SEE' EVENT . . . . INSANE TWO WHEELED UBER ACTION . . . . GO, GO NOW !!!!!

"T-ROD AND GENE STONE, SWINGIN HARLEY HACK FROM HELL" . . . . I'M PRETTY SURE THIS IS THE CREW FROM L.A's 'ILLUSION CYCLES' IN ACTION ON THEIR TOUGHER THAN DIRT HARLEY OUTFIT . . . . ULTRA SHORT TRACK, OODLES OF GRUNT, ONE SUPER COOL, LEFT OF CENTRE CHAIR . . . . GO FAST, TURN RIGHT ????

I've read about this monster chair outfit for some time, quite the rarity and in some ways harks back to the days of the big Vincent twins being utilised on the speedway tracks for their incerdible and tractable grunt . . . . this Hoggly powered tri-wheeler is clearly the biz, obviously putting out truck loads of neddies and stump pulling ft/lbs of torque, looks to be barely able to open the fucker up before the straight disappears into cornersville . . . . I think this thing is so ferkin cool and big ups to T-Rod and his swinger, Gene Stone, for getting this rig together and winning on it, viva la difference !!!!

"HONDA Z50 HISTORY - HOW IT ALL BEGAN" [BY 'KARTRACER695' ON POOTUBE] . . . . BLOGLAND, AN EDUCATIVE EXPERIENCE . . . . CHRIS FROM 'SPEEDSEEKERS' BLOG EJAMACATED ME THE OTHER DAY . . . . Z50M, WHAT THE FUCK . . . . ??? NOW I RECOGNISE IT AS WHAT I THOUGHT WAS JUST AN EARLY 'A' . . . . THANKS JUNIOR, SEEK THE SPEED !!!!

Everybody's favourite tiny bike, with a near fifty year history behind it and still going strong, the Z50A 'Mini Trail' was the creme de la creme when I was in primary school in the late 60's/early 70's, would have sold my soul to get one but my mother had contrary ideas . . . . in a word, NO !!! Junior at Speedseekers, the most insanely diverse blog in the universe, put up a shot of a rather cute example and my ensuing comment was responded to by him with mention of the predecessor of the entire line, the Z50M . . . . holy small things Monkey Man, didn't even know there was such a beast !!!

So, as is my idiot, geek-boy want, I went off to glean more info on this mysterious great grandbaby of all the Flying Wing's teeniest range of mini rides, as it transpires, I was aware of the model by physical and styling reality but had zero idea that it was designated as a Z50M, I'd always just assumed that it was the earliest of the Z50A's . . . . turns out it's a wee bit like the first of the Honda fours, I think it was specifically labelled 'CB750' then from the next model they became KI, K2, K3 and onwards to K176 or whatever . . . . yeah, it's all useless trivia to some but to me it's the anal level of detail that excites me and constantly drives me off on spontaneous chasing of educational wild geese, Chris, a big thanks for the info buddy, muchly appreciated.

***** This little history lesson composed by 'KartRacer695' shows a brilliant pictorial history of Mr Honda's beautiful baby bike, the little 4 stroke that led many to a lifetime love affair with all things motorcycling . . . . even though I was never lucky enough to own one, countless hours spent flogging the living shit out of Tony Simic's was a life changing experience . . . . you meet the weirdest people on a Honda !!!!

"ILL MIND OF HOPSIN #5" . . . . FACE SLAPPIN REALITY CHECK, HOME TRUTHS FOR THE 'POOR ME' GENERATION . . . . GETTING UP IN YO FACE, UP FRONT, CALLIN YOU OUT, GO BACK TO SCHOOL TYPE SHIT . . . . TELLIN IT LIKE IT IS AND MEANING IT . . . . PAY ATTENTION !!!!! THANKS TO G.E.F FOR THE TIP ON THIS BLOKE'S LATEST.

"BATHURST RACES 1981 PART I OF 6" [BY 'MVAGUSTA175' ON POOTUBE] . . . . THERE'S A RIOT GOIN ON . . . . BATHURST WAS AN AUSSIE BIKE RACING PILGRIMAGE, A TWO WHEELED MECCA . . . . STEEPED IN DECADES OF TRADITION AND, ULTIMATELY, BLOOD . . . . ONE THE PLANET'S GREAT ROAD RACING CIRCUITS AND BATTLEGROUND FOR SOME OF IT'S HARDEST GLADIATOR JOCKEYS . . . . EVENTUALLY THE SHIT HIT THE FAN.

THE MOUNT PANORAMA CIRCUIT OUTSIDE BATHURST IN NEW SOUTH WALES HAS A HISTORY DRENCHED IN MOTORSPORT OF BOTH THE TWO AND FOUR WHEELED VARIETIES . . . . IT HAD BEEN THE HOME OF THE AUSSIE G.P AND THE LEGENDARY CASTROL SIX HOUR ENDURANCE SHEBANG, AS WELL AS THE FAMOUS HARDIE FERODO 500/BATHURST 1000 TOURING CAR CLASSIC.

Back in the day, tens of thousands of bike race fanatics would descend on the rural township and do what bike racing fans the world over do, watch their heroes put their balls on the line at the notorious widow making track, get on the piss and have a fucking party . . . . that lasted three and more days.

Trouble had been brewing between the bike race 'blow-ins' and the local cops for several years prior to 1981, a total absence of any facilities at the 'Mountain' where the throngs of fans gathered was cited as one significant reason, along with a feeling of being 'cheated' by the town who gladly took their hard earned but seemed to give fuck all back . . . . but at the bottom of it was a nationally prevailing headspace within the police force that all those on bikes were beneath contempt and should be treated as such, typical old school, southern fried pig thinking, or lack thereof as the case in hand turned out to be.

The non-thought processes went something like, lets not bother trying to work anything out with the masses, lets invent a brand new bunch of bacon boys called the Tactical Response Group, arm them with latest in riot gear and 'crowd control' tactics and we'll send em on in and bash the cunts, that was how it went down . . . . just writing this shit down sets my hand trembling, I was wrongfully arrested twice in Queensland during that period by pigs with the same Nazi mentality and it sucks arse !!!

The 1981 races were the beginning of a series of confrontations between the fuzz and the crowd that would come to one ugly motherfucker of a head in 1985, and I do mean 'ugly motherfucker', leading to the event being permanently moved to Phillip Island . . . . where, oddly enough, the Victorian force got together with the various bodies representing the bike riding element and successfully avoided any drama at all, a substantially more diplomatic approach yielded instant results that have remained in place until the current day . . . .

Anyway, I should stop now before I wind myself up any further . . . . the video here is number three in a six part series and covers the entire '81 episode pretty well, my advice is watch number three first, then let it auto shift onto number four then go back and take in the whole bloody lot . . . . some great footage of the racers wrestling those monster supers of the day around one of the toughest circuits in the kingdom of racing, some equally honest and insightful vision of the first of five years of full on rioting and then the tranquil and dazed going home stages . . . . file this one under "lessons learnt"

BRAN VAN 3000 "ASTOUNDED" . . . . OFF TO SYDNEY IN A COUPLE OF WEEKS TIME TO CATCH UP WITH A SPECIAL GIRL . . . . WE'VE SHARED SOME PRETTY FULL-ON SHIT IN THE LAST FOUR YEARS . . . . BEEN REALLY BAD FOR EACH OTHER AND WE'VE BEEN SO PERFECT AS WELL . . . . I'M LOOKING FORWARD TO SEEING YOU BEC. XX

ANOTHER HOT-DOCK HOT ROCK, THE "92mm PARABELLUM BULLET" [BY 'JIMCYJIMCY' ON POOTUBE] . . . . I'VE SEEN SHOTS OF THIS BEFORE BUT HAD NO IDEA OF IT'S PLACE OF BIRTH, IT ALL MAKES 'SENSEI' NOW . . . . TOUGH, COOL, GORGEOUS, GREAT NOISE . . . . GOT IT ALL GOIN ON, TAKE A LOOK !!!!

* NOTE TO SELF - IF YOU GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER YOU CAN STILL MAKE IT TO THE YOKOHAMA H.R.C.S LATER THIS YEAR . . . WHERE THIS FOOTAGE COMES FROM.

"GUZZLER II . . . WAKE UP . . . HOT DOCK" . . . . 400+ KLMS IN THE SADDLE TODAY MANAGED TO REMOVE THE 'DIRT' FROM MY MIND AND MY SOUL . . . . BEAT THE RAIN ALL DAY, GOT HOME LATE ARVO . . . . PICKED UP AN OLD ISSUE OF "THE HORSE" WHILE ON THE 'THRONE' . . . . LET'S FOLLOW THE 'HOT-DOCK' THREAD METHINKS . . . .

THE PARTICULAR ISSUE OF BSC HAD THE ARTICLE ABOUT HERMIT LIKE ENIGMA, KEIJI KAWAKITA'S, S+S ANNIVERSARY BUILD, YOU REMEMBER THE JIGGER WITH THE RIVETS, PSEUDO OHC HEADS AND A SHITLOAD OF DETAIL OVERLOAD THAT TYPIFIES MANY ECCENTRIC WIZARD BUILDER TYPES . . . . AS I WAS READING IT ONCE MORE, IT OCCURRED TO ME THAT I'VE NEVER SEEN ANY OF HIS STUFF ACTUALLY RUNNING AND NOISED UP, SO AFTER UNLOADING MY DAILY EIGHT INCHES OF FIRM, UNBROKEN STOOL, I SET ABOUT PUTTING THE SITUATION TO RIGHTS . . . . AND HERE IT IS, "THE GUZZLER II" FROM 'HOT-DOCK CUSTOMS'



I gotta say, it ain't my scene as far as something I'd ever really want to own and ride, unless I'm on the quarter mile, but fuck, what a farout piece of fangling it is, attention to detail is over the top, finish is exquisite and the intergration of all the component pieces into one visually cohesive whole is pretty fucking sick . . . . sorta like Art Deco gets jumped by shiny post apocolyptic drag race aesthetics, ultimately distilling it all down to something utterly unique, hightech/lowbrow meets NASA/NHRA, and the rest is headspin inducing metalurgical and mechanical art . . . . not really my bag as already mentioned, but God, one helluva jigger of the meticulous kind and worth the admiration.

THE MELVINS "HONEYBUCKET" [BY 'STEVEPAYNE' ON POOTUBE] . . . . THERE ARE A BUNCH OF MELVINS FANS OUT THERE FAR MORE KNOWLEDGEABLE AND LONGTERM THAN I . . . . SOME RECKON THE ALBUM THIS CAME OFF WAS A 'SELLOUT' . . . . BEING ONLY MODERATELY FAMILIAR WITH THEM PRIOR TO THAT . . . . NO COMMENT OTHER THAN 'FUCKIN HEAVY SHIT' !!!!

PRETTY MUCH IN A CATEGORY OF ONE, A HUGE AND HARDCORE WORLDWIDE FANBASE, INFLUENCED AN ENTIRE GENRE, BUZZO OSBORNE AND CROVER'S REVOLVING DOOR OF HEAVINESS UNPRECEDENTED, THE ONLY MUSIC OF ITS GENERAL TYPE THAT I REALLY DIG . . . . GOT A FEELING THAT THE TERM 'HONEYBUCKET' IS AKIN TO A 'THUNDERBOX', OR AT LEAST THAT'S ALWAYS BEEN MY TAKE ON IT, ON THE VINO LAST NIGHT AT A FRIEND'S HOUSE, HE'S A HUGE FAN AND TOOK ME ON THE GRAND TOUR, AGAIN . . . . DON'T THINK THE NEIGHBOURS GOT OFF ON IT AS MUCH AS WE DID . . . . GO HARD JIMMY, USE THE FARCE.

WHEN I VERY FIRST HEARD THEM LATE-MID EIGHTIES SOMETIME, I ALWAYS USED TO DESCRIBE THEM AS 'THE BAND WITH THAT DUDE WITH THE ELECTRIC HAIR' . . . .



THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE ABOUT LICKING ARSE, I HAD TO YESTERDAY TO GET AN ACCOUNT OVER THE LINE AT A 5 STAR INTERNATIONAL HOTEL . . . . STILL GOT THE TASTE OF FAT, WHITE CRACK IN MY MOUTH AND WOKE UP FEELING HUNGOVER AND DIRTY, DONT' DO IT OFTEN, BUT WHEN I DO . . . . I HATE MYSELF, OFF FOR A THRASH TO BLOW OUT THE COBWEBS AND LOOSE THE STENCH !!!!

ODE TO RIVER PHOENIX BY 'T.I.S.M' AKA 'THIS IS SERIOUS MUM' . . . . OFFICIALLY TITLED "[HE'LL NEVER BE AN] OLD MAN RIVER" . . . . THE MASKED MEN OF AUSSIE ART ROCK, IRREVERANT, EDUCATED AND INSIGHTFULLY OFFENSIVE . . . . I LOVED EM !!!!

DURING THE EIGHTIES AND THE NINETIES THERE WAS NO MORE OUTRAGEOUS TIME TO BE HAD THAN A TISM GIG, BITING BLACK HUMOUR SATIRISTS AND MUSICAL TERRORISTS, INNOVATIVE, SHARP AS . . . . CHANNELING THE RESIDENTS MORPHED WITH DANCE PUNK DEAD KENNEDY'S, THESE TERTIARY EDUCATED SMARTARSE PISSTAKERS MANAGED TO FREAK OUT THE SQUARES AND THE UNDERGROUND HIPSTER ELITE SIMULTANEOUSLY . . . . ANONYMITY WAS THEIR GREATEST GIFT.

THE NINJA ASSASINS OF ALL THINGS SACRED WERE THE TITTIES FOR ANYONE WHO LIKED IN YA FACE LYRICAL CONTENT, PUMPED AND PULSING, THROBBING GRISTLE DERIVED NOISE OVERKILL AND THE OPPORTUNITY TO HEAR SOCIETAL NORMS LAMBASTED AS NEVER BEFORE . . . .

NOBODY HAD A FUCKING CLUE WHO THEY WERE, SO SUCCESSFUL WAS THEIR PERFECT PRETENCE WITH EVER EVOLVING MASKS AND DISGUISES, THOUGHT TO BE HIGH END ACCOUNTANTS AND LAWYERS, THEY WERE KILLING THE SYSTEM FROM WITHIN . . . . TO THIS DAY I DON'T THINK ANYONE COULD DEFINITIVELY NAME ALL THE MEMBERS OF THESE MUSICAL MERCENARIES.

PUTTING SHIT ON THE BIG END OF TOWN, THE OLD MONEY, PRIVATE SCHOOL SAUSAGE FACTORIES, HOLLYWOOD HODOWNS, PERVERTED POLITICAL MACHINATIONS AND THE LIKE WAS NEVER SO MUCH BOOZE FUELED FUN . . . . HITTING RAW NERVES EVERYTIME . . . . BLOODY EXCELLENT WORK !!!!



***** I HAD A QUICK VISIT TO THE WIKI SITE . . . . APPARENTLY NOW THEIR REAL NAMES ARE LISTED, ESSENTIAL READING TO GET AN IDEA OF HOW MUCH TURMOIL THEY MANAGED TO CREATE . . . . SERIOUSLY, GO, GO NOW, LEARN SOME SHIT !!!!

"47 KNUCKLEHEAD WITH DUAL LINKERTS" ['CHOPPERSTUFF' BLOG] . . . . GUY DID A FILTHY ARTICLE ON LARS' '52 PAN IN THE LAST GKM AND IT WAS FUCKING DIVINE . . . . BEEN TRYIN TO HUNT DOWN SOME FOOTAGE OF SAID BEAST BUT WITH LITTLE RESULT . . . . BUT I DID LOCATE THIS GEM FROM THE SAME TALENTED BUILDER . . . . A DOUBLE DOSE OF LINKERT LOVE !!!!

I've said it before and I'll say it again . . . . what the fuck are they putting in Sweden's drinking water, an overload of overproof Aquavit ???? So many super cool chops, bobs, rods and bands have eminated from this Scandik nation over the last thirty years you just gotta ask the question . . . . and to this long and illustrious list of all things cool you can definitely add the name of Lars Lundberg and his hand fabbed Swedish sex sickles.

Like I said in the title, I so wanted to get lucky with some footage of his insanely wonderful '52 pan chop as seen in GKM but could only find a wee bit of vidage, [well worth havin a squiz on the same PooTube channel as this, just not enough of it] . . . . however, there is this wicked, slightly wobbly film of another one of his creations, a '47 knuck running twin Linkerts, springer front end and all the other essential 'must have' shit . . . . as Lars himself says, it gets a poofteenth blurry but still a great perve on a fucking sweet ride.

I especially dig the curously groovy juxtaposition of the classic desert scene on the tank set against the lush greenery of a Swedish, troll infested forest . . . . the global influence of the timeless era of the west coast chopper 'idyll' is all pervading . . . . the ghosts of Easy Rider inhabit the entire bloody planet, that's some serious legacy . . . . thanks to Guy for the cracker write up and Lars for the inspiration and the awesome skills . . . . let's ride !!!!

"1965 PANHEAD CHOPPER" [BY 'CHOPPERBRIAN1' ON POOTUBE] . . . . BARE BONES, NO FUSS CHOPPIN AT ITS MOST HONEST . . . . MOTOR, FRAME, WHEELS, BARS, BLOKE AND AWAY YA GO . . . . GOOD BIKE, GOOD TUNE, GOOD CAMERA WORK, GOOD CLIP . . . . GOODNIGHT !!!!

***** BIG SHOUT TO 'GLOVER'S GARAGE PRODUCTIONS' FOR STITCHIN IT ALL UP.

"CALL TYRONE" MISS ERYKAH BADU . . . . BANANA GRRRLY, HOPE THIS PEPS YOU UP A POOFTEENTH . . . . IT AIN'T YOUR SITUATION BUT THE SUBJECT MATTER OF USELESS, FUCKTARD BLOKES IS UNIVERSAL . . . . HOPE NONE OF Y'ALL ARE FEELIN AWKWARD . . . .

THE FLYING BURRITO BROTHERS "HOT BURRITO #1" [BY 'RATTLESNAKEBLUES' ON POOTUBE] . . . . NUDIE SUITS, WESTERN BOOTS, HE DIDN'T GIVE A HOOT, NEEDLES SHOOT, KEEF IN CAHOOTS, A RESTLESS SOUL WITH SEVERED ROOTS . . . . GRAM PARSONS AND FBB . . . . RECORD SALES MEAN FUCK ALL !!!!

SWEET DREAMS FOLKS . . . . SLEEP NOW IN THE MIRE.

"BROOKLYN INVITATIONAL 2011" [BY 'TURBOSTEVE84' ON POOTUBE] . . . . I JUST FINISHED WATCHING '6OVER' AGAIN . . . . THE MENTION OF WALT SIEGL'S NAME SENT ME IN SEARCH OF ONE OF HIS BUILDS IN PARTICULAR . . . . THE 900SS DUKE BASED BEAUTY I'VE ONLY SEEN IN MAGS AND BLOGS . . . . I GOT LUCKY IN THE BIG APPLE.

'Turbosteve84', whoever you are buddy, has put together a mostly really sweet vid showcasing last year's uber show in Brooklyn, some bitchin shots of the bikes, some of the builders, Tom Fugle with some vaguely familiar bloke sitting beside him, and, key to this post, Siegl's magnificent Ducati 900 SS based custom/cafe coolout sickle . . . . it's not running I know, but it gives you such an enhanced appreciation of just how much of a standout job of fabrication, building and construction skills it is, like really fucking extraordinary, even though his back catalogue of bike production is so bloody diverse, the Bologna Bomber is a genuinely unique bit of kit.

So, keep your eyes on the road for the familiar faces, check out a pretty decent coverage of the rides both in the show and the street and although you mightn't necessarily be into the specfic style of scoot, you'll be pretty gobsmacked at just how meticulously Walt Siegl put this particular one off Italian Stallion together . . . . magnifico !!!!

METRIC "YOUTH WITHOUT YOUTH" [BY 'OGATOMARTIN' ON POOTUBE] . . . . ANOTHER FINE CANADIAN BAND . . . . CATCHY LIKE THE FLU, QUIRKY AS HELL, INTRIGUING LYRICS, SYNTH DRENCHED ROCK . . . . AND EMILY HAINES OUT THE FRONT . . . . SHIT, WHAT A GORGEOUS, GORGEOUS GIRL !!!

I KNOW BUGGER ALL ABOUT THIS MOB OTHER THAN THEY'RE CANUCKS, THEY'VE BEEN AROUND AT LEAST SIX OR SO YEARS THAT I'M AWARE OF, THEY CAPTURE A KIND OF MUTATED BAUHAUS MEETS SHIRLEY MANSON SORTA THING . . . . THEY HAVE PUT OUT SOME REALLY COOL GEAR PRIOR TO THIS THAT I'VE ENJOYED BUT THE NEW STUFF IS AWESOME, AND THEY'VE GOT A THEREMIN AS WELL, YOU'LL NOT GET ANY BETTER THAN THAT !!!!

TUNE IN TO THE LYRICS ON THIS, THEIR LATEST RELEASE, IT'S ALL WEIRDO BLEAK PSYCHADELICA, OR THAT'S HOW I VIBE ON IT, WHATEVER THE FUCK IT IS, I RECKON THEY'VE GOT 'IT' GOING ON . . . . AND EMILY HAINES IS A TOTAL AND ABSOLUTE BLOODY GODDESS . . . . OOH LA LA !!!!

"1964 CHEVY IMPALA" ['INNOVATIVEPHOTOS' ON POOTUBE] RIPPED FROM SX70S . . . . THE SUPREME TEAM HAS A SPECIAL PLACE IN BLOGLAND FOR ME . . . . THEY WERE ON BOARD HERE REAL EARLY AND I JUST TOTALLY DIG THEIR SITE . . . . LOWRIDER NIRVANA, SHOTS THAT WARP THE EYES AND MIND . . . . TE NUMERO UNO HOMIES !!!

Skate crew, especially dinosaurs my vintage, cast your mind, or what's left of it, back to Pineapple's interview in 'Skateboarder' around '79, [can't be bothered draggin it out of the closet to verify the date] and featured in the shots were a couple of his then primered Impaler, [as in 'Impale'], low, lean and mighty mean . . . . that's when I started my love affair with the concept of 'low', not just the Chicano/Latino interpretation but the whole physical and aesthetic concept of it, in the fucking weeds from that time on would always be the way I'd want to set up a car, if you can get over speed bumps without bottoming out . . . . the thing ain't low enough !!!

The '64 in this clip is just delicious to my eyes, almost the essence of a stock lookin rig being made to look a million bucks by genny paint, a few judiciously applied pinstriping highlights, a cool set of classic five spokes, narrow whites . . . . and sitting on its fucking guts, the definitive lowrider and the perfect illustration of why the '60 thru '64 model Impalers look so supreme when treated this way. Even the ugliest car in the world can appear so much more attractive with a sweet set of rollers and a belly flop stance.

Finally, with this stunner, not only do you get to go all gooey in the groin region by perving on the car, you also get the heightened visual rush of some absolutely perfect photography that shows the bags doin their trip in combo with the theatre in the round approach to filming it . . . . the reason I stole it from Robbie and his crew is nothin more than laziness, I can just lock on to it and enjoy the vicarious pleasure, and what a fucking pleasure it is, without having to push too many buttons.

If you're into the whole Lowrider thing, magnificent paintjobs, wicked cars, super sexy senoritas and Supreme shots . . . . head on over to SX70's blog and fry your fajitas, stay low, be supreme homies.

GOIN' SOMEWHERE - DicE MAGAZINE AND "THE BLACK TIBETANS" . . . . WHY AM I POSTING THIS WELL WORN CLIP OF DICEMAN DEAN ON HIS FLAMED MOSHEEN ?? BECAUSE I HAVE JUST FINISHED WATCHING MY COPY OF "6 OVER" . . . . MADE POSSIBLE IN NO SMALL WAY BY THE PAIR OF POMS FROM 'DICE' . . . . I'M FULLY BLOWN AWAY !!!!

Even allowing for the hubub surrounding the now runaway and deserved success of 'Choppertown' and it's follow ups 'The Harbortown Bobber' and 'Brittown', the great flicks from 'Lowbrow', the 'Two Wheeled Terror' series, the 'EDR', and a bunch of other gooduns from the last six to eight years or so, the nature of this latest documentation of the shit we all love so much has knocked my stinky socks off like no other. Believe me, if you don't have a copy yet, lift your game and hook in, the wait for its release was fully worthwhile . . . . "6 Over" kicks start !!!!

The Dicemen, in cahoots with Wild Honey Productions, Michael Schmidt, Davey Cooperwasser, Michael Heart and the central cast of '6 Over' have delivered a film so epicly cool and honest, so devoid of dumbarsed machismo and faux biker 'badass' bullshit it leaves you feeling nothin other than inspired and uplifted . . . . it's serious in it's insight into each of the featured riders/builders/freaks and the cast of supporting dudes, it's also disarmingly up front because of it . . . . just real.

Moreover it's fucking funny, not side splitting wacky, just consistently and endearingly chucklesome, especially the self depracating, piss taking Jason Webber, but all the guys deliver their own goods, Max, Kim, Eddie, Caleb and Jeremiah . . . . there's no posturing, no posing, no wank at all, as I said, it's straight up and unaffected by any sense of celebrity, even though the guys are clearly celebrities within a world within a world . . . . the motherfucker is, for want of a more appropriate descriptor, righteous, no doubt.

The direction and pacing of the thing is spot on thanks to the obvious talent of Mr Schmidt and the lens work is something wonderful to behold, different frames, change it up, change it down . . . . and the tunes are a subtle background to the narrative of the flick without ever becoming over the top . . . . shit, I could go on but there's no point . . . . I reckon '6 Over' does for me what 'On Any Sunday' did forty years ago, and that's fucking cool . . . . get out and buy it, then take it home and watch it, then, repeat ad nauseum, 6 over and over and over.

DEEP PURPLE "HIGHWAY STAR" ['VEVO' ON POOTUBE] . . . . VALE JOHN LORD, DEEP PURPLE'S FOUNDER SADLY SUCCUMBS TO CANCER AGED 71 . . . . THE MAN WHO GAVE THE PURPLE ONES THEIR UNIQUE SOUND . . . . THE LOUDEST HAMMOND SOUNDS EVER GENERATED . . . . ALSO WRITING THE ALL TIME RIFF FOR GUITAR BEGINNERS..

IN THE ANNALS OF ROCK FOLKLORE THERE WILL ALWAYS BE A SPECIAL PLACE FOR DEEP PURPLE FOUNDER/KEYBOARDIST/SONGWRITER, JOHN LORD . . . . APART FROM SHEER VOLUME, HE PROVED BEYOND DOUBT THAT THE VENERABLE HAMMOND HAD A PLACE IN THE PANTHEON OF ROCK AND ROLL . . . . STORIES OF HIS MONSTER STACK OF LESLIES, THE UNITS RESPONSIBLE FOR GENERATING THE EARDRUM SHATTERING VOLUME FROM HIS HAMMOND, WILL REMAIN LEGEND . . . . IT WAS LORD WHO CAME UP WITH EVERY LEARNER GUITARISTS FIRST RIFF, "SMOKE ON THE WATER'S", DA DA DA, DA DA, DADA, DA DA DA, DADA . . . .

DEEP PURPLE MIGHT NOT HAVE BEEN MY FAVOURITE BAND BUT I LOVED EM ALL THE SAME, AND A LOT OF THAT WAS DOWN TO THE SUPER POWERFUL, DARK MIST SOUNDS OF THE UNIVERSE'S LOUDEST HAMMOND ORGAN . . . . WHEN THEY PLAYED IN BRISBANE IN THE EARLY SEVENTIES, IT WAS SAID YOU COULD HEAR THE NOISE IN MT GRAVATT . . . . THAT IS NEARLY TEN FUCKING MILES AWAY !! I WOULDN'T BE SURPRISED, A LOT OF THAT WOULD'VE BEEN THE THUNDERING, VIBRATORY, GUT CHURNING, BOTTOM END HUM PUT OUT BY LORD AND HIS KILLER KEYBOARD.

HE MAY WELL BE RESTING NOW BUT I DOUBT VERY MUCH IF IT WILL BE 'IN PEACE' IN THE TRADITIONAL SENSE . . . . ROCK ON JOHN LORD, ROCK ON !!!!

SONS OF ANARCHY, OCC, BIKER BUILD OFF, THE SHIRE, THE DEVILS RIDE, THE KARDASHIANS, JERSEY SHORE, THE IDOL SERIES, THE VOICE, MASTER CHEF, BIG BROTHER, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH . . . . REALITY MY ARSE . . . . WHAT IS IT WITH ALL THIS SHIT ????

YES, I KNOW, 'SONS OF ANARCHY' ISN'T A 'REALITY SHOW' . . . . IT JUST SMELLS SO BAD . . . . AND YES, THERE WERE SOME LEGIT BUILDERS ON 'BUILD OFF' . . . . STILL FUCK ALL TO RECOMMEND ANY OF IT . . . . ADD ONTO THAT LIST, PARIS HILTON, LARA BINGLE AND ALL THE OTHER NO TALENT BUMS FAMOUS FOR NOTHING AT ALL . . . .

THE MAJORITY OF THE SHEEP-LIKE PUBLIC GET WHAT THEY DESERVE IN THE FINAL ANALYSIS I GUESS . . . . TOTAL BLOODY SHITE !!! 

"J. N. ROBERTS - DESERT RACING LEGEND" [BY 'ELRODRACING' ON POOTUBE] . . . . 100% CERTIFIED DESERT RACING LEGEND, YOU NAME IT, HE WON IT . . . . MULTIPLE TIMES . . . . THE MINT 400, BAJA 500 AND 1000, RODE ISDT, FEATURED IN 'ON ANY SUNDAY' AND 'DUST TO GLORY'.

AS A KID MENTAL FOR TWO WHEELED MOTORSPORT, THE NAME J. N. ROBERTS WAS ONE I WAS FAMILIAR EVEN BEFORE THE RELEASE OF BRUCE BROWN'S 'ENDLESS SUMMER' INSPIRED 'ON ANY SUNDAY' . . . . WE'D GET STALE, OUT OF DATE FOOTAGE OF SHIT LIKE NASCAR, NHRA, FLAT TRACK AND EVEN THE LEGENDARY BAJA 500, AND LATER, THE 1000 . . . . I RECKON THE AUSSIE T.V EXECS HAD TWEAKED THAT THE AVERAGE 'ORSTRYNE' BLOKE WAS RIGHT INTO ANYTHING TO DO WITH RACING CARS AND BIKES . . . . THESE U.S SPORTS SHOW BLACK AND WHITES WOULD GENERALLY PLAY ON A SUNDAY LATE MORNING AND EARLY AFTERNOON AND I'D BE RIVETED TO THE TELLY WATCHING TOTALLY ENTRANCED AND THAT'S WHERE I FIRST HEARD OF ONE J. N. ROBERTS.

Roberts' career over the second half of the sixties and into the early seventies was in-fucking-credible in terms of victories in the most highly regarded races of the day, he won outright the Mint 400 and took out the Baja 500 and its big daddy offshoot, the 1000 on multiple occasions . . . . he'd go onto to represent the States in two ISDT's that I know of, became a stuntman of some note and also appeared in 'On Any Sunday' and the mid two thousands gem, 'Dust to Glory', the guy had seriously oversized nads and talent to back them up . . . . I'm sorta positive he kept racing on a part time basis up until the eighties . . . . how fucking cool is that shit ???? And along with Malcom Smith and some bloke called McQueen, was also partly responsible for getting the Husqvarna brand the profile it was deserving of back in the day.

The video I've stolen from the PooTube is nothing more than 'J.N' on board a Husky, on the pin and charging through the dusty minefield that desert racing is, tussocks of grass, shrubs, rocks, stones and gibbers, logs, rabbit holes, loose sand, creek beds . . . . what else have you got ??? There's also a hell bit of heavy twangin, bass slappin, snare rollin, trainkeeps a comin rockabilly as a soundtrack, it's only a minute sixteen in length, but sweet Jesus, it's a wild and crazy ride !!!!

MAMMOTH MAMMOTH "HELL'S LIKELY" ['FASTER007 ON POOTUBE] . . . . LOUDER, LOUDER, HARDER, HARDER, FASTER, FASTER . . . . ANOTHER RAGING RATPACK OF YOUNG ROCKERS OUTTA MELBOURNE . . . . NEEDED A MONDAY MORNING PEP UP, WOULDN'T YOU KNOW IT, PERFECT BLUE SKYS . . . . AFTER ANOTHER BLOODY DISMAL WEEKEND !!!!

A town with a mammoth history of filthy excellent rock and roll venues to match their output of top of the heap bands, Mammoth Mammoth has a worthy place in continuing that tradition, young, fast and mighty mean . . . . drawing inspiration from Motorhead, Electric Frank and a whole bunch more besides but making it their own without a doubt, cranking out sub three minute classic rock tunes, a noble and honest pursuit if ever there was one.

The clip was shot in the dunnies at the Cherry Bar in Melbourne, tight space, nice trough lollie odour and a mosh scene that could well be a world first . . . . I fuckin love these guys, haven't been able to get the 'Hell's Likely' chant out of my scone for the last week !! Anyway, off to the land of booze and bars, wine, women and beautiful baristas . . . . someone's gotta do it, it's my job !!!

HEBREW . . . . WOTCHA DOIN ON THAT THERE THING ?? . . . . ROSCOE BUCHANAN TURNING UP THE WICK ON BAZ THE LAD'S BRUTE . . . . NOTE CLUTCH LEVER AND REAR WHEEL POSITION . . . . WE'RE STEPPIN OUT TONIGHT BABY !!!!

Owning your own business is always a tough gig, even tougher in economic times like these, Roscoe, ace spannerman, tuner, builder, pedaller, burnout baron, dragnut, cynic, pisstaker and all round top bloke, has recently shut up shop to go and ply his trade for another independent bike shop . . . . it's an absolute fucking shame but at least this way he gets to have a life, see his missus, relax a bit, maybe even come for a ride with me and possibly even help get Project Shoveller up and running.

Wishing you all the best mate in the new office, at least the stress of bills and cuntstomers will be a thing of the past . . . . I'm sure you'll love working on all those delightful twenty year old YZ 80's and quad bikes . . . . ha ha ha . . . . see ya during the week with my new rims and spokes !!!!

**** Big love to Rod Cole, ace photog and piccy snapper for the image . . . forgot to put it up before, sorry mate. X

THIRD AND LAST FROM THE FINKE DESERT DUST DEATH DASH . . . . AND THIS IS NOW, OR AT LEAST MODERN DAY . . . . EXCELLENT IMPRESSION OF SPEED AND CONCENTRATION . . . . GO HARD OR GO SOMEWHERE ELSE !!!!

***** FOOTAGE COURTESY OF THE 'FINKE DESERT RACE' . . . . THANKS A BUNCH.

"FINKE 1983" [BY 'TERRYTOPGUN ON POOTUBE'] . . . . FUCK !!!! I MEANT TO PUT THIS ONE UP FIRST, YOU KNOW, JUST FOR SOME SORT OF CHRONOLOGY, OH WELL, SHIT HAPPENS . . . . A COOL OVERVIEW OF THE ENTIRE RED DIRT ENDURO CAPER AND WORTH A SQUIZ . . . . A VERY YOUNG STEPHEN GALL TAKING FIRST . . . . IT'S ALL TWO STROKERS AT THIS POINT . . . .

RINGA-DING-DING-DING-DING-RINGA-DING-RINGA-DING-DING-DING-DING-DING . . . . THAT'S ABOUT THE LIMIT OF MY CHAINSAW POWER IMPERSONATION ABILITIES.

"FINKE RIVER DESERT RACE 1986" [FROM 'ROOHUNTS' ON POOTUBE] . . . . FROM THE DEAD CENTRE OF THIS WIDE, BROWN LAND . . . . THE LAST OF THE TWO STROKE INTERCEPTORS . . . . AUSSIE'S GREATEST ENDURO RACE FOR BIKES, FEATURING THE DIRT TRACK DYNAMO STEPHEN GALL AND ALSO JIM ELLIS AND PHIL LOVETT . . . CONTINUING THE INTERNATIONAL BUSH BASHING THEME.

THE FINKE RIVER, THOUGHT TO BE GEOLOGICALLY, THE OLDEST WATERCOURSE IN AUSTRALIA, IS SLAP BANG IN THE EPICENTRE OF THE COUNTRY, NOT FAR FROM THE TOWN OF ALICE SPRINGS, LITERALLY THE 'RED CENTRE' . . . . THE RACE BEGAN IN ABOUT THE MIDDISH SEVENTIES AND IS YET ANOTHER EPIC DESERT AND DUST HIGH SPEED THRASH FOR THE TWO WHEELED LOONIES WHO LIKE PUTTIN THEIR BALLS ON THE LINE IN THE PURSUIT OF DRY DIRT DEVOURING GLORY.

The footage captured from 'helivision' here focuses on Aussie motocross superstar of the eighties, Stephen Gall and two other hell for leather racers in Jim Ellis and Phil Lovett at the zenith of the monster two stroke screamers . . . . just prior to the four stroke thumpers taking over, despite the old Yamaha TT500's eminent suitability for the event over ten years previous, again, it's basically twist the throttle wide open and go hard for 250 klms, turn around and repeat . . . . usual shit of imminent death at all points along the way with soft sand, bulldust, snakes, logs, boulders and massive heat combining with flat out, on the gas riding . . . . fucking hard, dirty, dusty yakka for sure !!!!

SUPER BEST FRIENDS "NO LOGO IS A JOKE" . . . . HEY LOVEY, I RECKON THIS IS 'STICKIN IT TO THE CORPORATE MAN' . . . . ANGRY YOUNG PUNKS FROM OUR NATION'S CAPITAL CALLING THE 'BIG BRAND' STINKFIST SWINDLE . . . . ALL THE WAY HOME WEARING NIKE AND DRINKING COKE . . . . DON'T BELIEVE THE HOAX !!!!

I'VE GOT A LIST OF PERSONAL CHARACTER SHORTCOMINGS A MILE LONG, BUT AS LENGTHY AS THAT SHIT LIST MIGHT BE, BUYING INTO THE BRAINWASHING PUSHED OUT LIKE SO MUCH CORPORATE BRANDED TURD THESE DAYS IS SIMPLY NOT PART OF MY AGENDA . . . .  AS IT IS WITH A VAST MAJORITY OF THE FOLK WHO I HAVE HAD THE PLEASURE OF INTERACTING WITH ON THE INTERWEBNETTHINGY OVER THE LAST EIGHT MONTHS, IT DOESN'T MAKE US HEROES OR LEGENDS, IT JUST MAKES US RELATIVELY 'FREE', IT'S DIVERSE AS IT IS CONSTANT.

'CORPORATE' KIT IS ALRIGHT IN ITSELF, IT'S THE WANK PR THAT TOTALLY GAGS, I LOVE MY COKE, I BOUGHT A NEW HARLEY, I COLLECT HOT WHEELS, I PUT B.P IN MY VEHICLES, I EAT AND ENJOY McDONALD'S, I SHOP AT WOOLWORTHS, I EVEN HAVE A PAIR OF NIKES . . . . I JUST HAPPEN NOT TO THINK THAT AT THE POINTY END OF THEIR CORPORATE PYRAMID IT'S ALL PEACE, LOVE AND UNDERSTANDING . . . . I'M FALTERING HERE, HANG ON.

Whatever your personal bag might be, if you're out there supporting the little guy, whether it's boots or bikes, if you're sporting tees that proudly proclaim your allegience to shit that has been assembled and manufactured with human hands, heart and soul, if you aren't busting a gut to step into the latest big brand dictated 'lifestyle' choice, if you're 'in it', whatever the fuck 'it' may be, because you love it and for the duration not the 'glory bubble' . . . . then you're pretty much impervious to the marketing bullshit and poison that ultimately eats its way like acid into a persons 'ness' and turns them into some whole other entity and leaves them wandering the aisles of the department store of life like a dumb, starstruck fuckdoll, vaccuous, stained, drained and tainted, without chance of redemption . . . . if you don't buy in, you'll never have to sell out . . . . use, but don't get used.

Super Best Friends have been 'discovered' over the last year by Australia's 'Radio Triple J' as part of there long running 'Unearthed' ritual, they come from our 'Diplomatic Capital' and perhaps that explains their strident aversion to the world of government and big business . . . . demonstrably from the 'sturm und drang' side of the agitprop/agitpop side of the rock and roll fence, they wear their youthful, angst ridden hearts on their sleeves and I have a sneaking suspicion there is a big future in front of them . . . . as they say in the song . . . . don't believe the hoax !!!

"PARIS-DAKAR 'THE MOTORCYCLES' TRIBUTE 1979 - 2008" [BY 'MATTHEISSPEED' ON POOTUBE] . . . . AFTER GOING BACK TO THE '65 ISDT AND MAKING A MENTION IN PASSING ABOUT THE POTENTIAL FOR SERIOUS LEVELS OF HURT IN THE PARIS-DAKAR SLOGFEST . . . . HERE'S A REMINDER OF JUST HOW UNFORGIVING THE OLD COURSE USED TO BE.

FILE THIS ONE UNDER "EAT DUST . . . . EAT DUST AGAIN . . . . AND MORE . . . . WOULD YOU LIKE SOME MORE DUST SIR ???"

This ultimate enduro in it's old form was the test of man and machine from hell, I'm not saying the new South American event is soft, but the traditional, long term African location seemed to offer up a constant cloud of near death experiences for the two wheeled competitors it was a little like a desert version of the IOM . . . . the speeds these guys were pushing were in-fucking-sane and on top of bikes loaded to the gunwhales with personal kit, tools, not to mention long range tanks heavy with guzoline and across terrain that would have you pissing blood for weeks regardless of flash kidney belts and ultra long travel suspension . . . . fuck yeah, real mens business here !!!

There is some total bullshit action in this collection of highlights that was initially shown on telly in the final, 2008 rally prior to its relocation, footage taken from 1979 to the last year in Africa, from before the days of the Tenere and Super Tenere, the Beemers, Aprilias, those dirty great Flying Wings . . . . all on the pin and headed for either Dakar or dirty, dusty disaster in attempting it, and the get offs in this piece are both epic and even comical, riders in this rally to end all rallies deserved all the kudos, credit and coin they got . . . . I mean, how much would it cost to seek the services from a specialist bronchial dust removing doctor once you've shaken your brain to jelly, got blisters the size of a blimp on your arse, hands and thighs and compressed your spine so much you finished the rally two inches shorter than when you set off . . . . all for the love of two wheels.

**** P.S - I know, I know . . . . the 'softrack' sucks balls, Enya for this, what the fuck ????

THE BLOODY BEETROOTS "ROCKSTEADY", BIKES, BABES, BOOBIES, BOOZE, BEATERS, BIKE SURFING, CIRCLE WORK, ALL BOXES TICKED . . . . I FUCKIN LOVE THESE GUYS, WHICH IS KINDA WEIRD GIVEN HOW MUCH I DETEST ELECTRO SHIT . . . . THEY CALL IT 'DANCE-PUNK' BUT I CALL IT DIRTBAG-DOOF . . . . CRANK IT UP AND GET OFF !!!

THIS DOOF-PUNK COLLECTIVE HAIL FROM ITALY AND HAVE BEEN SPEWING OUT SOME REAL EDGY SHIT OVER THE LAST SIX OR SO YEARS . . . . DOOF-DOOF WITH DIRT, GERMS, GREASE AND FILTH UNDER ITS FINGERNAILS, HEARD EM A FEW YEARS AGO ON A RARE EXCURSION INTO 'CLUBLAND' AND I WAS HOOKED.

As I said already, usually I can't stand the whole repetitious, monotonous drivel that most so called 'dance music' represents to me, dull as piss and dumb as a box of hammers, but this stuff is diiferent in every way . . . . Sir Bob Cornelius Rifo [clearly an Italian name] put this project together as a live D.J act that went feral and has ended up takin it on the road throughout Italy and the world, I would go and check this stuff out anytime . . . . there is a tie in with Death Crew 77 but I leave that to the hardcore doofers to suss out for themselves.

ANYHOO, STAND ON THE LOUD PEDAL, FIX YOUR EYES ON THE CLIP AND GO TO HELL WITH THE LATEST AND GREATEST IN DIRTBAG DANCE PUNK, THE BLOODY BEETROOTS, BELTIN YOU ROUND THE EARS WITH "ROCKSTEADY" . . . . YEAH !!!!

SHADY LANE "CONVENIENT FACE HINGE" . . . . A DELIGHTFULLY DISTURBING VIDEO AND A FANTASTICALLY FREAKY LITTLE TUNE . . . . I'M JUST OFF TO SCORE ME SOME OF THOSE BATH SALTS . . . . MMMMM, A NICE BIT OF FACE NIBBLING, TASTY SHIT !!!

1965 ISDT ISLE OF MAN - PT 2 0F 3 . . . . I GUESS WE ALL ASSOCIATE THE I.O.M WITH THE TT ROAD RACING . . . . IT'S ALSO SEEN ITS SHARE OF ENDURO ACTION STARTING WITH THE 1965 ISDT . . . . MAN, THIS LOOKS LIKE COLD, WET, MISTY, DIRTY WORK . . . . AND THAT'S THE NATURE OF THE BEAST IF THE ISDT WAS YOUR BAG.

Words like grueling, fatiguing and frustrating come to mind when I watched this bit of history for the first time tonight, the Paris-Dakar is way more capable of fucking your shit up but there are so many intricate and exacting tests invoved in a six day trial . . . . all sorts of annoying ways of pushing a wet and cold rider and his mud machine beyond their limits, a myriad of ways to lose points not only for yourself but for your country, it was a legitimate test of riders, bikes and teamwork and I'm sure it still is.

This is part two of a three part gig so go on and check out the first and the last parts, the perfectly British narrator runs through the rules and regs so you get a decent idea of just how torturous this caper would've been when combined with arsewipe weather on a little island in the Irish Sea nearly fifty years ago . . . .

BIG AUDIO DYNAMITE - "E=MC2" . . . . THE BLOGOSPHERE, WHAT A TRIP, ONE THING ALWAYS LEADING TO ANOTHER . . . . GUY MENTIONS BERNIE RHODES, I THINK 'THE CLASH' THEN BOUNCE STRAIGHT OVER TO 'B.A.D' . . . . THESE GUYS WERE GROUNDBREAKERS . . . . SAMPLES IN ROCK MUSIC, WTF ???

MICK JONES AND DON LETTS IN THE SAME BAND . . . . THAT SHIT WAS ALWAYS GONNA YIELD SOME SWEET MUSICAL FRUIT . . . . NOBODY SOUNDED LIKE THESE GUYS AND STILL DON'T . . . . THIS GEM MAKES ME FEEL WARM AND FUZZY EVERY SINGLE TIME I HEAR IT . . . . FUSING SO MUCH TOGETHER FOR THE FIRST TIME . . . . PROPER FUCKING DYNOMITE THIS IS . . . . SAMPLERS PARADISE . . . . OH YEAH.

THIS IS MY "PURPLE PENIS" 2010 XL1200X '48 . . . . I SAID FROM THE OUTSET OF THIS BLOG THAT BIKES LIKE THIS ARE NOT 'CUSTOMS' AND NEVER WILL BE . . . . THEY ARE 'SLIGHTLY MODIFIED STOCK' RIDES . . . . THE WORD 'CUSTOM' IS SOOOO PROSTITUTED THESE DAYS IT'S NOW NEAR FUCKING MEANINGLESS !!!!

HELLO OLLIE BANANAS, NOW YOU CAN HAVE A DECENT PERVE AT MY TOOL, WORK TOOL THAT IS BABY . . . . YES, I HAVE POSTED A COUPLE OF THESE BEFORE BUT IN LIGHT OF THE PREVIOUS SHOT AND A COUPLE OF REQUESTS, ONE LAST TIME.

Maybe I'm a sucker for abuse or derision, perhaps I'm just self possessed and arrogant, or is it that I'm comfortable with my decisions and confident in my own pre-existing design ethic, fuck, I don't know for sure but it's how I am . . . . I never envisioned owning a product of the MoCo, let alone a model that I knew from the get go would have the living piss taken out of it by the serious, lifelong devotees of the marque and detractors, I mean, fuck, I'd put shit on me, fad jumper, scenester, hipster . . . . sorry dudes, but I know my heritage and so do those around me who have known me the last, oh, I don't know, thirty fuckin years and more !!!

Pardon the covering of old ground to the few who have been checkin my stuff since the inception, I'd been deliberating over a new scoot for a couple of years, and I mean 'new', I didn't want any drama, unexpected or expected mid journey failures . . . . it had to be reliable on a daily basis for work use and ready to rock and roll for everything else above and beyond that, terminal roadside trauma I didn't need, sorry, the memories of old Meridan like malfunctions had lost their allure, you gotta get to the gig if you're gonna move the booze.

So . . . . I committed to buyin the Skirtster, figured what damage I was gonna inflict upon the pretty lame stock standard "factory custom look" to make it mine three months prior to its arrival, and live the Harley dream, [ha ha ha] which was always going to involve entirely non factory parts and absolutely no factory merchandise, I was buying a bike, not a new lifestyle . . . . anyway, over a year and a half of ownership I don't regret for a minute purchasing what is now the "Purple Penis", it does its job perfectly and without complaint, all the mods have been based pretty much on function and enhanced performance and she's done, end of story . . . . almost.

The plan was always to get me a slice of genuine used Bar and Shield action, which, after much searching, went down just before Christmas, and now that I have most of the parts assembled it's a matter of putting together my own, legitimate 'custom' hoggly chop . . . . having only ever owned and ridden Triumphs, that's gonna be a brand new thrill and one that I'm totally stoked to be embarking on, as much as I love the penis machine, there is nothing like an old, used and loved bike, nothing !!

Project Shoveller, which I will finally be posting shots of next week, at last, will give me ample opportunity to enjoy the delights of unforseen moments of roadside solitude, sudden and unexpected financial hemorrhaging from the arse and all the other wonderful joys that only owning and riding silly old motorcycles can provide . . . . sadly, given that my recently discovered spanner genius has closed doors and is now working 'for' someone, I might just have to locate me a new guru to do the hardcore engineering and build essentials that my mediocre mechanical skill set has no real chance of completing to the level I want . . . . . . . now, there's a bloke in Braidwood who is perfect for the job, just have to convince him to take it on . . . . cheers folks, shiny side skywards.

IN A WORLD LADEN WITH UBER COOL HARDCORE CHOPS AND CUSTOMS, HAND FABBED METAL MASTERPIECES AND PERIOD PERFECTLY CORRECT SICKLES COMES . . . . MY NEAR BOG STOCK STANDARD '48 PRIOR TO ITS REBIRTH AS THE "PURLPLE PENIS" . . . . ABOUT TWO MONTHS INTO OUR LOVE AFFAIR . . . .

The popular line about only old Skirtsters being cool . . . . shove that one, they were all new once.

At this point in our life together all that had been done to the Sporty were the pipes, bars, tires and the losing of about forty tons of horrid plastic, reflectors, belt guards and anything else that isn't required. It got flogged and flogged hard in the first two months, around 8,000 klms, and is now sitting on the 35,000 mark . . . . also with tuning 'Dynopakthingy', new rear shocks and front springs, the larger non custom 1200 tank and Von Pato's paintwork, Speed Merchant finned derby cover, removed output cover, de-blacked fork legs and brace and hand re-worked air cleaner . . . . it is what it is folks and no apologies, a ultra reliable, moderately cool everday tool, the '74 shovel is going to take me back to the '69 and '74 Trumpy ownership days of breakdowns, cursing, kickstarting, scraped knuckles and phone calls to mates with utes in the middle of the night from hundreds of kilometers away.

***** ALL THOSE WANTING TO SEE THE SPORTSTER CATEGORY TAKE THE LEAD IN CHOPPERDAVE'S POLL, GET OVER THERE QUICK SMART AND IN A HURRY AND PUT IN YOUR VOTE . . . . THOSE BLOODY SHOVELS ARE NEARLY HITTING THE FRONT !!! DON'T TELL ALLEN AT LADY HUMP . . . . HE'LL BE TRULY SUICIDAL . . . .

THE ROLLING STONES "RESPECTABLE" FROM 'SOME GIRLS' 1978 . . . . 50 YEARS A ROLLIN AND KEEF'S STILL WITH US, AND MICK, CHARLIE AND THE 'NEW KID' RONNIE . . . . THE BEATLES . . . . WHO THE HELL WERE THEY ????

FILE UNDER "ITS ONLY ROCK AND ROLL, BUT I FUCKIN LOVE IT, YES I DO !!!"

THE SEMINAL BAD BOYS OF ROCK AND ROLL, THE FIRST WHITE GUYS TO COVER BLACK MUSIC WITH CONVICTION AND AUTHENTICITY, THE BAND THAT THE TERM 'LOCK UP YOUR DAUGHTERS' WAS COINED FOR . . . . AND SORRY KIDDIES, THE BAND WHO EMBODIED THE PUNK ETHOS BEFORE THE MC5, PISTOLS AND RAMONES HAD STRUCK A CHORD IN ANGER . . . .

THEY MAY WELL BE SPEEDING TOWARD SEVENTY BUT THEY'RE THE BENCHMARK FOR A COMMITMENT TO DOIN THE BUSINESS FOR LIFE . . . . JUST AS THEIR HEROES BEFORE THEM DID . . . . AND EVEN THOUGH THE PONCY JAGGER HAS BOUGHT HIMSELF A KNIGHTHOOD, MUCH TO THE CONSTANT AND DESERVED PISSTAKING FROM KEEF, RON AND CHARLIE . . . . 'RESPECTABLE' . . . . I DON'T THINK SO !!!!

"FIRING UP THE HORNER BROTHERS MAGNIFICENT IRVING-VINCENT" [POST ON POOTUBE BY 'SMDRZ440'] . . . . I'VE POSTED THIS AFTER THE MEMORY JOG BY TIM AT LOVELESS ENGINEERING . . . . THE WINNERS OF THE '08 BATTLE OF THE TWINS HAVE COME A LONG WAY WITH THEIR STATE OF THE ART UPDATE ON THE GREATEST VEE-TWIN EVER PRODUCED . . . . MESSRS DAVIES, VINCENT AND IRVING WOULD BE OVER THE FUCKING MOON !!!!

REGULAR READERS WOULD LIKELY BE AWARE I'M A COMPLETE IDIOT FOR THE H.R.D/VINCENT CAPER AND THEIR PLACE IN THE WICKED WORLD OF MOTORSICKLE FOLKLORE . . . . AS IF THEY WEREN'T A COOL ENOUGH BIT OF KIT AS A STANDARD JIGGER BOTH BACK IN THE DAY AND SIXTY YEARS DOWN THE BLACKTOP OF LIFE, THEN THE AUSSIE ENGINEERING MOB, THE HORNERS, TAKE IT ALL TO ITS NATURAL, STATE THE ART CONCLUSION . . . .

Check this shit out, what a wild piece of over engineering deliciousness, a steroid driven, 'big block' Vinnie complete with dry clutch and a host of other space age retro fit upgrades, mounted in a frame that launches the behemouth well and truly into the 21st century . . . . I knew the lads had swept all before them at Daytona four years ago but hadn't seen that much of the bikes up close or heard much since . . . . so when Lovey posted them hot on the heels of his spiritual victory at the Festival of a Thousand Bikes at Mallory Park, I went off in search of more meat to sink my fangs into . . . .

This thing is absolutely fucking gorgeous tough in every possible way, and it only goes to show how brilliant the initial Vincent twin concept was seventy years ago, and by the time the genius who Phil "Tuning for Speed" Irving was, had finished fettling the Stevenage rocket, it justly became the single most impressive vee twin ever made . . . . the Horner Bros reworking of the Vincent powerplant proves conclusively this is the case. The case for the defence rests. Thanks for the inspiration Lovey.

I PROMISE THIS IS GOING TO BE MY LAST BF4 POST . . . . WELL, HOPEFULLY . . . . I LOVE THE WAY THIS CLIP CAPTURES THE INTENSE REFLECTIVE PROCESS OF THE BUILDER . . . . MICHAEL BARRAGAN FROM 'EVIL SPIRIT' CONTEMPLATING LIFE, THE UNIVERSE AND EVERYTHING THE NIGHT BEFORE THE 'BIG ONE' . . . .

GUYS AT THE LEVEL OF THIS BLOKE, WHOEVER THEY ARE, WHEREVER THEY ARE, WHATEVER THEY'RE BUILDING, I GUESS THEY MUST ALL GO THROUGH THIS PROCESS OF INTROSPECTION AND SELF CRITICISM . . . . LOOKING DEEP WITHIN THEIR MINDS EYE, ASSESSING WHETHER THE FINAL REALITY MEASURES UP TO THE MENTAL PICTURE THEY'VE CLUNG TO THROUGHOUT THE JOURNEY OF TRYING TO GO FROM CONCEPT TO REALITY . . . . IT'S SO MUCH MORE AT THIS STAGE OF THE GAME THAN, 'SHIT, ONLY TWELVE HOURS LEFT TO GET THIS SUCKER DONE !!', BY NOW, THERE AIN'T NO GOIN BACK.

I LOOK AT THIS AS REPRESENTATIVE OF WHAT ALL TRULY GREAT CRAFTSMEN PUT THEMSELVES THROUGH WHENEVER THE END OF THE ORDEAL IS NIGH, HAVE THEY REMAINED TRUE TO THEIR VISION, THEIR 'IDEAL' FORM . . . . NO MATTER WHAT THE GAWKERS AND THE HAWKERS MIGHT SAY OR THINK ABOUT IT, THE SIGNIFICANT AND PRE-EMMINENT CONCERN FOR TALENTS SUCH AS THIS IS ONE THING AND ONE THING ONLY . . . . DO 'THEY' LIKE WHAT THEY'VE DONE, PURE AND OH SO FUCKING SIMPLE, ARE 'THEY' SATISFIED THAT THEIR BEST HAS BEEN GOOD ENOUGH IN THEIR OWN EYES, 'THEY' SET THEIR OWN STANDARD FOR THE ELUSIVE MOTHERFUCKER THAT PERFECTION IS, PLEASING THEMSELVES IS THE HARDEST PART OF ALL.

FOR WHAT IT'S WORTH MR BARRAGAN . . . . YOU NAILED IT.



***** MUCHOS GRACIAS TO 'EVILSPIRITENGINEERIN' FOR THE POST ON POOTUBE.

THE IDES OF MARCH "VEHICLE" (1970) . . . . ANOTHER ALL TIME BALL TEARING SOUL TRACK FROM THE DIM, DISTANT PAST . . . . WHAT A MAGNIFICENT NOISE, NOTHIN LIKE YOUR 'AVERAGE WHITE BAND' OF THE TIME . . . . PLUS SOME KILLER VISUALS OF A PAIR OF CELLULOID FOUR WHEEL ICONS FROM "AMERICAN GRAFFITI"

When you're a young kid, shit is easily misinterpreted, I first heard this in primary school at about the same time I became aware of 'Blood, Sweat and Tears' and 'Chicago', in fact, I thought it was BS+T until my super cool older next door neighbour and Norton Commando owner, Gary Carter, whose mind warping record collection I had complete access to, learned me different . . . . I was also pretty wigged out to discover the vocalist wasn't a black dude, nor was he David Clayton Thomas, we didn't have music channels, PooTube, stacks of stuff in the paper devoted to popular culture, plus, my mum hated it all, it was the 'Devils Work', the more she poured scorn on it, like motorcycles and fast cars, the more I gravitated towards it . . . . it irked me but I knew she was doin what her honest, old school Christian heart believed to be right, it was simply a double generation gap . . . . love ya mum !!!!

Totally formative times, the early '70's, for this suburban white boy, music, anything motorised, Mad magazines, skateboards, Hot Wheels, clothing, but particularly music, songs like this genuinely 'moved' me, gave me some bizarre rush I couldn't even fathom . . . . which now, forty and more years later, I can identify as the kickarse 'soul' power thing of it all, compared to the typical four or five piece rock and roll stuff, this shit had depth and richness that outweighed most rock stuff by tons . . . . the same with funk, R+B, cool jazz and even 'good' disco, I love my rock and roll like crazy but kit like The Ides of March with its growling, sexually charged vocals, blaring, stabbing horns, throbbing rhythm section and all out oomph to this day really gives me the horn, deep, deep, down in ma belly . . . . c'mon, get some soul into ya homies !!!!



***** MUCH SOUL LOVE TO 'THEBACMASTER' FOR THE POOTUBE POST AND THE BITCHIN CLIP . . . . TOO GOOD DUDE !!!

THE DAMNED "SMASH IT UP PTS 1 + 2" [POSTED BY 'PESKELETON' ON POOTUBE] . . . . I KNOW ALL THE PURISTS WILL SAY 'WHAT ABOUT 'NEW ROSE' OR 'PROBLEM CHILD' OR 'NEAT, NEAT, NEAT' OR 'JET BOY, JET GIRL', [WHICH COINCIDENTALLY 'PLASTIC BERTRAND' TOTALLY RIPPED OFF] . . . . WELL, I SAY 'FUCK THAT SHIT', THIS IS MY BLOG . . . . GET YOUR OWN !!!!

WOT'S NOT TO LOVE ABOUT THE DAMNED . . . . I ASKS YA ???

AT A TIME WHEN THE PUNK THING WAS OVERLOADED WITH BANDS TAKING THEMSELVES FAR TOO SERIOUSLY, THE JOLLY CAPTAIN SENSIBLE, THE LUGOSI-ESQUE DAVE VANIAN, THE GRUBBILY ADORABLE RAT SCABIES AND THE SOON TO BE FLICKED, FAR TOO UP HIMSELF BRIAN JAMES, BROUGHT SOME LONG OVERDUE HUMOUR TO THE PROTO PUNK TABLE . . . .

Often cited as the first Pommy punk outfit to release a single with 'New Rose', they were actually beaten to the punk, te he he, by Australia's own 'The Saints', but that is beside this particular point.

In the wake of the moderate success of 'New Rose' and the album "Damned, Damned, Damned" and the disaster of its follow up, "Music for Pleasure", the guys had a spat, broke up and then reformed minus the previously mentioned James, who had been the primary songsmith . . . . dragging ex Saints bassist, Algy Ward, into the Entirely Silly Punk Boys Musical Experience Club while Sensible moved to guitars, they threw together the delightfully more melodic "Machine Gun Etiquette" album and it's from this long player that my choice here, 'Smash it Up' Parts 1 + 2, [out of the 4 on the album], is taken.



The cool urban myth/legend about the song is this . . . . Vanian, Scabies, Sensible and Ward were well aware of the constant shit that the punk bands were copping from the squares and the royalty of the musial mainstream, [soon to be culled and killed off by the same yobs they were bad mouthing], for their so called lack of musical ability and songcraft skills . . . . 'fuck those tossers' the lads said and went about writing their magnum opus that 'Smash it Up' represents, it was a deliberate 'stick it up your arse' to those self same, flare wearing, blow wave blowing, jet plane snorting, filthy rich wankers who had totally lost touch with their audiences and the world in general.

Starting with the beautifully beguiling intro that builds into a riotously raucous, full tilt punk anthem, all the while showcasing a newfound sense of melody and songwriting gained since the departure of Mr Serious, its catchy as syphyllis hooks had 'Smash it Up' slot straight into the charts, it wasn't so much a case of selling out but rather stepping up . . . . so even though the tune may not have convinced the 'legends' gang or the 'popular' musical press of the time, the fact that many of their collective careers were retarded or permanently shut down due to the 'no talent bums' of the punk revolution must've been fucking sweet satisfaction in itself . . . . 'Smash it Up' or die trying, giddy up motherfucker !!!

FAAAAARK !!!! SACHSENRING YESTERDAY, CASEY LAYS IT DOWN ON THE LAST BLOODY LAP . . . . NOW BACK IN THIRD IN THE MOTO-GP STANDINGS, BUT, MARK MY WORDS . . . . HE WILL COME BACK WITH THE FIRE IN HIS BELLY AND THE TALENT TO TAKE THE TITLE . . . . C'MON AUSSIE, C'MON !!!

SAT AND WATCHED THE RACE LAST NIGHT, ONE OF MY FAVOURITE CIRCUITS ON  THE TOUR, EXCELLENT TWISTIES, TRICKY CAMBERS, HEAPS OF GOOD PASSING OPPORTUNITIES . . . . THERE WAS SOME SIZZLING ACTION IN THE MID PACK AS THE LIKES OF SPIES AND CRUTCHLOW THREW IT ALL DOWN, CRUTCHLOW SADLY SELF DESTRUCTING IN THE LAST QUARTER . . . . BUT IT WAS ALL ON AT THE POINTY END OF THE FIELD WITH STONER TRYING TO REEL IN PEDROSA OVER THE FINAL FEW LAPS AFTER THE LITTLE SPANIARD HAD SNATCHED THE LEAD IN A RED HOT MOVE WITH ONLY A HADFULL OF LAPS LEFT . . . . YOU COULD SEE CASEY WAS GETTING LINED UP READY TO NAB THE LEAD OVER THE FINAL TWO AND WITH THE POWER TO MAKE IT STICK, AND THEN . . . . WELL, AS THEY SAY, THAT'S RACING !!!!



***** POSTED ON THE TUBE OF POO BY "R4V3N181" . . . . CHEERS BUDDY.

"BORN FREE 4 'GARAGE COMPANY' SHOVEL" . . . . SOMETHING SHORT AND FREAKIN SWEET, JUST A BUMMER IT AIN'T NOW MINE . . . . THIS HAS GOTTA BE A PROTOTYPICAL CHOP, SO DAMNED PERFECT IN EVERY WAY . . . . LINES, ANGLES, RATIOS, PAINT, FRONT TO REAR . . . . BIG CONGRATS TO THE YOUNG KID WHO WON IT.

I guess if I had to break it down, of the two '69's up for grabs at BF4, it was the fucking gorgeous flamed chop that I was lusting after, as much as the 'USS Enterprise' was a superb example of its model type . . . . to my eye, and for what it's worth, the Renaissance man of chopperdom's creation represents all that remains perpetually cool and permanently evocative of the spirit of the zenith of the style . . . . to nail it so completely without it becoming cornball was a major achievement in itself, as it was to be a ride that had to appeal to a broad spectrum of potential new owner, it had be subtle as much as it had to be eye popping, brain frying cool . . . . oh, and that rear wheel/tyre/guard setup gives me an instant boner, totally tough !!!

There are so many thousands of heavily altered/custom/chopped/bobbed bikes I've had a fondness for over the last thirty odd years and for a myriad of different reasons, however, this sexy/tough '69 is right up there . . . . what Kiyo and crew have done ain't anything new or stylistically groundbreaking, it's not some big inch killer street weapon, nor some twisted, off beat, freak machine, but what it does represent is an immaculate embodiement of all that a super slick, sweet as, legitimate classic chopper should be . . . . absolutely functional, utterly balanced in proportion, and fastidiously assembled by someone who obviously has a deep and passionate comprehension of his medium . . . . yeah, fuckin A, that was the one I wanted to win !!!!



***** Thanks a bunch to "VideoCrafters" for putting the clip up on PooTube, like I said, short but oh so bloody sweet !!!

LOU RAWLS MONOLOGUE "STREET CORNER HUSTLER'S BLUES" LIVE [FROM 'RATHAHONNI' ON POOYUBE] . . . . RECORDED IN L.A IN 1966 AS THE WATTS RIOTS WERE RAGING ALL AROUND, A TRUE LEGEND ALBUM FROM AN EQUALLY LEGEND PERFORMER . . . . SOMETHING TO REALLY 'LISTEN' TO, HILARIOUS, INSIGHTFUL AND MASTERFULLY DELIVERED . . . . THE SMOOTHEST VOICE IN THE BIZ AND A SERIOUSLY COOL CAT. R.I.P

THIS IS FOR MY GOOD MATE TIM AT THE 'LOVELESS BLOG' . . . . IF YOU WANNA GET A WINDOW INTO THE MULTIPLE TRIALS AND TRIBULATIONS OF PUTTING TOGETHER YOUR OWN RACE BIKE, GO AND VISIT HIS SITE . . . . 'LOVEY' HAS BEEN SLAVING AWAY AT THIS FUCKING GORGEOUS, METICULOUSLY ENGINEERED, BACKYARD BULLET FOR SIX LONG, HARD MONTHS . . . . THE BLOKE IS TOTAL WORKING CLASS THROUGH AND THROUGH, EMPHASIS ON THE WORD 'CLASS', HE'S BATTLING ON SUPPORTING A FAMILY AND DOING THE RIGHT THING EVERY TIME . . . .

DURING THE COURSE OF THIS BIKE'S GENESIS HE HAS BEEN FUCKED OVER BY 'SO CALLED' MATES . . . . BADLY LET DOWN BY 'SO CALLED' PRO'S . . . . INVESTED INSANE AMOUNTS OF TIME AND TOIL TO GET THE THING ACROSS THE LINE . . . . BEEN UP AGAINST THE CONSTANT DRAMA OF BALANCING DOLLARS SPENT VERSUS FAMILY CONCERNS . . . . TIMMY IS STRAIGHT UP 110%, A GENUINE FELLA IN ALL POSSIBLE WAYS AND TO SEE HIM THWARTED ON SO MANY OCCASIONS HAS BEEN AS GUT WRENCHING AS IT'S BEEN INSPIRING SEEING HIM LIFT HIMSELF UP AND GET ON WITH THE JOB.

THE LAST WEEK HAS SEEN HIM AND HIS TRUSTY OFFSIDER PUT A CATASROPHE OF MOTHERFUCKER DIMENSIONS BEHIND HIM, PICK HIS SHIT UP OFF THE GROUND, FAMILY BEHIND HIM ALL THE WAY, BURN THE MIDNIGHT OIL AND SNATCH VICTORY FROM THE JAWS OF A DEFEAT SO CRUSHING IT WOULD'VE HAD A LESSER BLOKE INSIDE FOR MANSLAUGHTER . . . .

TODAY HE IS TRACKSIDE WITH HIS BELOVED 'BUZZ BOMB', HAVING RISEN LIKE A SOUL BOY PHOENIX FROM THE ASHES, AND READY TO DO BATTLE . . . . MATE, NO MATTER THE OUTCOME OF THE WEEKEND'S ORDER OF THINGS, YOU MADE IT, YOU'RE WHERE YOU WANTED SO MUCH TO BE AND SO DESERVED TO BE . . . . I WISH YOU THE MOST HEARTFELT GOOD LUCK, BUT YOU'LL MAKE YOUR OWN LAD, AS YOU DO . . . . IT'S BEEN A REAL PLEASURE AND A TREAT SEEING YOU GRAB THIS FUCKER BY THE BALLS AND DRAG IT ACROSS THE LINE . . . . BIG UPS AND BIG LOVE BROTHER, YOU ROCK !!!!

"AUSTRALIAN MOTORCYCLE ACES PT. 7 - DARYL BEATTIE" . . . . 'THE DAZZLER', IN A GOLDEN ERA IN AUSSIE POWER PEDALLING HE WAS THE PADDOCK PARTY PUNK . . . . NEVER TAKING 'IT' OR HIMSELF TOO SERIOUSLY . . . . NOT EVEN LOSING FIVE LITTLE PIGGIES COULD HOLD HIM DOWN . . . . GO THE DAZZLER !!!

FILE UNDER "WHAT COULD HAVE BEEN" OR "GETTING ON WITH THE JOB"

I FIRST MET DARYL AT A GIG IN ABOUT '93 ON THE COAST, ON THE PISS AND LOVIN LIFE, HE WAS A DEFINITE GREGARIOUS, LIFE OF THE PARTY DUDE AND A FUCKING LOVELY BLOKE . . . . OVER THE NEXT HALF DOZEN YEARS I WOULD SPEND QUITE A BIT OF TIME IN HIS COMPANY, PLAYING GIGS, DRINKING, OCCASIONALY RIDING, DRINKING, TELLING LIES, DRINKING AND GENERALLY HAVING A FAT TIME . . . . HE WAS NEVER, BY HIS OWN ADMISSION, QUITE AS SERIOUS ABOUT THINGS AS MICK DOOHAN WAS, MICK WOULDN'T TOUCH A DROP IN THE ENTIRE WEEK LEADING INTO A RACE, DAZZLER ON THE OTHER HAND, DID SOMEONE SAY THERE WAS A PARTY SOMEWHERE ? THE NIGHT BEFORE A MEETING ??? . . . . HE WAS STRICTLY FROM THE OLD SCHOOL BAZ SHEENE MOLD !!

He would become an investor in a unfortunately ill fated blues bar adventure with myself and my best mate where he lost a five figure sum of cashola yet not once did he bitch, moan or carry on, not at any point did he let it become a bitter, fucked up thing . . . . same as when he lost all five toes on the 'business' hoof, no sour grapes, no drama, just shut the fuck up, get on with the job and hoist yourself back in the saddle, not unlike how Mick approached his horrendous leg injury, he was all about the thing he felt blessed to be getting paid to do, ride psychotic, killer two wheeled missiles at death defying speeds for a gig.

He was royally fucked in the arse by Yamahahaha for a year that saw his ranking plummet quicker than even a nightmare could dream up, followed by the Suzuki experience that initially looked to be going brilliantly resulting in a second place in the championship behind his good buddy Mick, until the next seasons death bike started throwing him down the track more frequently than you change undies . . . . no fucking wonder the poor bastard decided to chuck it all in, despite all the shit, Dazzler never changed, never became an embittered, cynical, hateful cunt that would've been so easy to do and to understand, he has turned a serious downhill slide into a burgeoning career as one of the best, most informed and knowledgeable commentators in motorsport.

I still run into him every now and again, usually revolving around eating and drinking, nothing has changed, still a full on comedian at every turn, always havin a laugh and a lend, still as mad as a cut snake, just a wee bit older and a lot wiser, and still a lovely bloke . . . . go the Dazzler, stick it in !!!

"HUGE VINTAGE DIRT BIKE COLLECTION" [BY 'NOTOILINDUSTRIES' ON POOTUBE] . . . . WELL, IT SURE AS FUCK BEATS THE SHIT OUT OF A CRACK HABIT . . . . ONE MAN'S AMAZING ILLNESS AND ITS KALEIDOSCOPIC MANIFESTATION . . . . I LOVE MOTORCYCLES . . . . MOTORCYCLES, I LOVE !!!!

CHECK THIS SHIT OUT, ONE BLOKE WITH A DIRT BIKE BUG THE SIZE OF A MAICO UP HIS ARSE, GOD BLESS HIS KNOBBY SOX, A PRIVATE OBSESSION OF TECHNICOLOR PROPORTIONS AND DEPTH . . . . BE FASCINATED BY THE ONE MAN RESTORATIONS, DROOL OVER A TREASURE TROVE OF PERIOD SPARES, BE HUMBLED BY HIS NORMAL, NICE GUY NATURE, BE COMPLETELY FREAKED OUT BY THE THOUGHT OF HAVING 150 BIKES IN YOUR BACKYARD SHED, FAAAARK !!!!

I particularly got off on the little Yammy he brought back to life as the first bike he had as a grommet back in the early seventies . . . . oh, also, the lineup of legit, pre sell out/takeover, Maico muscle mosheens and a ship load of other classic chook chasers . . . . outside the sheer enormity of his own private Museum de Mud, the thing that really gets me is his enthusiasm and utter bloody madness for what he's into, dirt bikes of all makes and models . . . . and that's plenty good enough for me !!!

CREEDENCE CLEARWATER REVIVAL "FORTUNATE SON" . . . . HEAVILY POLITICAL, HIGHLY CRITICAL AND STILL TOTALLY PERTINENT . . . . FOGARTY'S DEFINITIVE PROTEST SONG, SPITTING VENOM AND VITRIOL AT THE PRIVILEDGED FEW AND THEIR PISSWEAK PROGENY . . . . NO MATTER WHAT THE COUNTRY, THE STENCH IS ALWAYS THE SAME WITH THIS SHIT !!!!

***** BIG LOVE TO THE DUDE WHO POSTED THIS SUPER COOL CLIP, TOP HOLE !!!

PENN AND TELLER "HOW TO DO THE SAWING A WOMAN IN HALF TRICK" . . . . THIS PAIR HAVE ALWAYS CRACKED ME UP WHILE PISSING OFF THE ENTIRE WORLDWIDE MAGICIANS UNION . . . . FUCKING SHIT UP AND BLOWING THE VEIL OF SECRECY STRAIGHT UP DAVID COPPERFIELD'S ARSE CAN'T REALLY BE A BAD THING, CAN IT ???

So, I'm watching an episode of the U.K series, "Penn and Teller Fool Us", pretty cool concept, some major good magic shit and everything's dandy . . . . come the end of the show and the two legendary party poopers get to blow the cover on a classic 'illusionists' trick . . . . and in this episode it's the all time favourite, sawing the pretty girl in half caper, you can almost hear a million uptight magicians around the world crying into their magical snotrags . . . . but of course, as with everything the clown princes of hidden pigeons do, there's a twist . . . . I just thought this was worthy of posting . . . . watch it now.

THE MODELS "TWO PEOPLE PER SQ KLM" . . . . POST PUNK POP DIDN'T COME ANY MORE SUBVERSIVE OR EDGY THAN THESE GUYS . . . . SORTA LIKE A MALEVOLENT XTC ON BAD ACID . . . . QUIRKY, ECCENTRIC, THREATENING AND FULL OF ANTI SOCIAL INTENT . . . . WAY AHEAD OF THEIR TIME.

The Models [or 'Les Models' even earlier] in their original lineup as featured here were a band so far on the edge back in the day that the glory that should've been theirs was denied them until the uber poppy, pretty boy, James Freud [R.I.P] joined their ranks one album after this . . . . this track, taken from the fucking brilliant, 'Alpha Bravo Charlie Delta Echo Foxtrot Golf' offering was such a bitchin piece of state of the art punk/pop that even the 'ultra hip' scenesters of the time missed it completely.

Sean Kelly, vox/guit/lead vox, a dark and menacing presence on stage, dressed in black and grey, wearing fucked up, dirty old G.P boots, with a constant snarling sneer that was never exceeded for sheer disdain and contempt, Johnny Rotten crossed with Ian Curtis, he possessed a vocal style that was his and his alone . . . . more an instrument than a voice, his enunciation and delivery was completely spellbinding, his ability to write lyrics that to this day still shine like a crazy cracked diamond in their unique and eclectic approach were the elements that so endeared him to me, supported by a superb band who gave depth and clarity to his frontman position.

Unforunately, he was so uncommercial by nature that the addition of the talented but far more pop mainstream, James Freud, was probably justified to recoup record company dollars and expectations. For me though it was the end of a very special era, a period of musical output by a band that still sits in the top percentile of my favourite bands of the day . . . . head to PooTube and check out 'Two Cabs to the Toucan', 'Atlantic Romantic', 'Happy Birthday IBM' and 'Local and/or General' to see and hear this twisted bunch at their best then go and buy some of their scintillating noise/punk/pop shit if you can . . . . so fucking worth it !!!



***** Big love to "NZOZ1980" for his dedication to the Aussie/ NZ musical cause and for posting this on the PooTube.

"THE PLANK" . . . . R.I.P ERIC SYKES . . . . ANYBODY GROWING UP IN WHAT WAS ONCE 'THE BRITISH EMPIRE' WOULD HAVE FOND MEMORIES OF THIS WONDERFUL MAN . . . . LIKE HIS OTHER POST WAR COMEDIC PEERS, HE LEAVES BEHIND A LEGACY OF BELLY LAUGHS, ABSURD SKETCHES, ENDEARING SERIES AND AN INNOCENCE LONG SINCE LOST.

"The Plank" is arguably Eric Sykes' most enduring and excellent work, still as wacky and hilarious as it was nearly fifty years ago, forty five minutes of slapstick genius with class, pure, simple and virtually without dialogue. If you haven't ever seen it then you should take the opportunity to check it out and take a moment to contemplate the lovely bloke behind it . . . . if there's a heaven, his long time comic cohort, Ms Hattie Jacques, will undoubtedly have the kettle on ready for his arrival . . . . Eric Sykes, you made our world a brighter and happier place, long may we laugh.



***** Many thanks to "MrRobertHampstead" for putting it up on PooTube for all of us to enjoy.

"PRETTY BLONDE IN A NITRO F.E.D" [FROM 'VIDEOCRAFTERS' ON POOTUBE] . . . . YOU KNOW HOW MUCH THESE CACKLING BEASTS GIVE ME A WOODY . . . . THROW A CUTE BLONDE BABE INTO THE DEAL AND I'M GONE A MILLION . . . . SO IS SHE . . . . ON NITRO FUME OVERLOAD !!!!!

The shit don't get much better than this, an eye-poppingly gorgeous hemi dragster being tweaked with an equally eye-popping blonde haired babe in the cockpit . . . . sadly for the beautiful blonde, the big ol' hemi at idle, while it's donk doctor gives it it a tickle, is pumping out shitloads of unburnt nitro, like full on vapour . . . . the odour of this primitive 'go extremely fucking fast' juice is intoxicating when you're not close enough to be getting it up your nose and in your eyes, like the thrill you get at a classic bike meet with all the BP A wafting about . . . . but when you're sitting directly behind one of  these classic slingshots, minus mask and goggles, for minutes at a time while the mill is literally leaking fuel from the headers pointing straight at your perty face . . . . man, that shit is gonna fuck with your peepers.

Anyhoo, one mighty cool car, one mighty tough motor and one cute girl . . . . I just want to offer my shoulder for her to cry those nitro induced tears onto . . . . damn darlin, you are gorgeous !!!!

"LINKERT ATTACKS 2012" [BY 'BERRICHON37' ON POOTUBE] . . . . A BUNCH OF INNOCENT LOVERS OF THE LINKERT CARBY ARE RUTHLESSLY SAVAGED BY THE SELF SAME CARBURETION UNITS THEY SO ADORE . . . . A QUICK GLANCE AT A HANDFUL OF THE LINKERT LOONIES IN EUROPE . . . . OLD SHIT RULES !!!!

BEEN WATCHING THIS LOT OF DIEHARD LINKERT WORSHIPPERS DO THEIR THING FOR SOME YEARS NOW CARE OF POOTUBE FOOTAGE, SHITTY WEATHER AND OTHER ACTS OF THE MOTORCYCLING GODS NEVER DETER THEM . . . . FROM THIS YEARS SOIREE, A FEW MINUTES OF VINTAGE V-TWIN ACTION FEATURING SOME SWEET OLD HOGGLIES, A TRUMPY OR TWO AND THEIR EVER LOVIN, LONG HAULIN OWNERS, TA MUCHLY TO 'BERRICHON37' FOR THE CLIP . . . . NOW, ON YER BIKE !!!

"BORN FREE 4 - BIKER GRANDMAMA GETS WILD" . . . . HOLY BLOODY SWALLOW ME WHOLE BATMAN . . . . GOBBLING GRANNY GOES ALL THE WAY, AND I MEAN ALL THE FUCKING WAY . . . . TALK ABOUT A MANEATER, LOOK OUT MR JEREMY, GRANNY'S BACK IN TOWN . . . . NICE WORK LOVE !!!!

I first saw this talented bird on the "Chico-Moto" blog yesterday and while hunting down a totally disappointing absence of decent BF4 footage thus far, I ran smack-bang into the obvious extension of the shots published . . . . this proves beyond doubt that this girl ain't faking it one little bit, taking down an entire whatever the fuck it is in in one fell gulp, yep, all of it, not a single inch left out in the cold, impressive stuff for sure . . . . clearly a professional given the nice pouch kept handily on her shirt . . . . a party trick all the ladies can learn.



***** THANKS TO "AKAMACHETE1" ON POOTUBE FOR THIS PERECT PENILE PIECE OF PERVERTED POSTERITY

RONNY JORDAN - "GET TO GRIPS" . . . . COOLER THAN THINGS THAT ARE REALLY QUITE COLD . . . . RONNY JORDAN KICKIN IT WITH A FREAKINGLY GROOVALICIOUS DITTY THAT STILL GETS IT ON TWENTY YEARS FROM RELEASE . . . . DROP YOURSELF A SUPER CHILL ACID JAZZ TAB !!!!

From the zenith of the 'acid jazz' scene, this cat was beyond most others, the funk, the soul, the killer sense of 'groove', Ronny had it all goin on, even now I can listen to him and those magic hands of his gliding across the fretboard anytime I want to do some armchair traveling . . . . impeccably smooth and posessed of major talent, his tunes, whether originals or jazz standard/classics, can take the pain of the "turgid miasma of existence" away everytime . . . . the kind of acid that's always a good trip !!!

"JOYRIDES ART CO - INVITED BUILDERS BIKES" . . . . SOME COOL SHOTS OF THE TWENTY INVITED BUILDERS BIKES AT BF4 COURTESY OF MARK KAWAKAMI'S LENS AT 'JOYRIDES ART CO' . . . . CLICK ON THE LINK AND FEAST YOUR PEEPERS !!!

A PROVIDOR OF AWESOME PHOTOGRAPHIC DOCUMENTATION, MARK SNAPPED THESE PICS OF THE 'BIG TWENTY' AT BORN FREE 4 . . . . HIT THE LINK TO GET ONTO THE JOYRIDES BLOG, MAKE SURE YOU ACCESS THE MAGNIFY MODE SO YOU CAN CHECK OUT THE DETAIL ON THESE AMAZING SCOOTS . . . . MANY THANKS TO MR KAWAKAMI.

JOYRIDES ART CO

AND THE WINNER OF THE BF4 INVITED BUILDER COMP IS . . . . DRUMS PLEASE . . . . CRO CUSTOMS AND THE "YANG YANG" THANG . . . . TO BE HONEST, I'M NOT THAT SURPRISED, ABSOLUTE HAND FABBED GENIUS . . . . WELL DONE MANG !!!

WHILE MATT OLSEN AND HIS '47 KNUCK TOOK BIKE OF THE SHOW, IT CAME AS NO REAL SURPRISE TO ME THAT ONCE AGAIN, CALEB OWENS TOOK THE HONOURS IN THE INVITED BUILDERS COMPETITION . . . . LIKE MANY OF YOU, HAVING WATCHED THIS UNIQUE BUILD TAKE PLACE ON CRO'S BLOG OVER THE LAST FEW MONTHS, IT'S LEVEL OF OBVIOUS AND TYPICAL ATTENTION TO MINUTE DETAIL WAS TOTALLY INSPIRATIONAL TO SAY THE LEAST.

In the post I did last week on the beast's virginity breaking roll out I mentioned some of the endless list of one-off fab work that has gone into this bike, and all of the invited builders turned out some mad, superb quality, custom built rides . . . . but the 'Yang Yang' was a cut above, nothing escaped the hands of the cat from Culver City and the end result was a road rocket that is a fuck off example of one man's dedication and focus on making real his very singular vision.

The number of components that were made by the man himself or so radically refashioned with his own hands is virtually never ending, you name it and it has been subject to his mind's eye interpretation of how it should really look as a single part of an overall concept, everything has a place and a purpose and everything in its place . . . . total and complete harmony, do yourself a big fat favour and take some time to really look over this jigger, like, really look, it's fucking amazing !!!



I have truckloads of respect and deep admiration for all the invited builders, many of whom are some of my own heroes, they represent some of the most delicious cream of the contemporary custom cobbling crop and a massive pat on the backs of them all, the struggle and strife they went through to realise their individual projects can only be imagined . . . . to Caleb Owens, Cro Customs and the star of the show, 'Yang Yang', biggest ups possible for doing something so outside your relative comfort zone and in such a way that it will continue to blow minds for years to come . . . . love your work !!!!

PHOEBUS BEAT CLAN "ASSJACKAL RISING" . . . . STRAIGHT OUTTA SWEDEN . . . . THE THRASH MANIC POWER PUNK OF BROADWAY'S NEXT HIT ROCK OPERA . . . . THESE GUYS LIVE IN A SECLUDED CAVE DEEP WITHIN THE ARCTIC CIRCLE SUBSISTING ON A DIET OF ONLY USED 50 WEIGHT, SALTED HARP SEAL FLESH AND AQUAVIT . . . . CRANK UP THE VOLUME AND STAND BACK !!!!

I just can't get this shit out of my head and I don't want to either, "Assjackal Rising", and it's other two accompanying tracks, explode from the speakers, dripping melodic guitar overload, a pumping, throb happy bassline, belting drum tracks and punked out, seering and soaring vocals . . . . telling a story so truly depraved the Swedish Goverment and its intelligence agencies attempted to censure its release, fearing the potential scandal it might cause and the number of lives that may be lost.

Nonetheless, this reclusive sect of musical subversives have managed to get it out there so the truth can at last be told, the truth, like bad syphillis, can be a fucking ugly and painful thing and great rock and roll, like sweaty, dirty sex, can be a powerful tool . . . . so take your hand off your dick, wind the throbometer up to 'piss off the neighbours' level and prepare for a mindbending Phoebus Beat Clan beatdown with 'Assjackal Rising' . . . . the story even Assange was too fucking scared to tell !!!

BORN - FREE 4 . . . . THE NEWS IS OUT, MATT OLSEN TAKES THE BACON WITH HIS OFF THE RICHTER '47 KNUCKLEHEAD . . . . AN EXCEPTIONAL PIECE OF CUSTOM BIKE BUILDING FROM AN EXCEPTIONAL FIELD OF INVITED BUILDERS.

MEGA CONGRATULATIONS TO MATT OLSEN FOR TAKIN OUT THE TOP GONG AT BF4. EVERYBODY MUST'VE SEEN SOME PICS, AND VERY LIKELY THIS VIDEO, ABOUT THE WINNER OF THIS YEARS OVERALL SHOW, THIS YOUNG DUDE STUFFED SO MANY CUSTOM TOUCHES INTO HIS 61ci EL IT'S NUTS . . . .

AND NOW HE'LL BE OFF TO THE YOKOHAMA MOONEYES GIG AS PART OF THE DEAL, IN A SHOW WHERE THERE WAS SUCH AN UNBELEIVABLY HIGH LEVEL OF BIKE BUILDING GENIUS AND THE RESULTANT PHENOMENAL LINEUP OF TWO WHEELED WORKS OF MECHANICAL ARTISTRY, THAT'S NO MEAN FEAT.

TO ALL THE OTHER TALENTED BUILDERS WHO PUT THEIR CASH, TIME, BLOOD, SWEAT AND POSSIBLY EVEN TEARS, INTO THEIR RIDES, I RECKON YOU ALL DID A FUCKING UNREAL JOB, YOU TOOK IT TO A WHOLE NEW LEVEL, BRAVO GUYS. LIKE I SAID THE OTHER DAY, JUDGING THE WINNER IN SUCH ESTEEMED COMPANY WOULD HAVE BEEN ONE TOUGH GIG !!!! 

"FULL METAL JACKET" PRIVATE PYLE GETS UP CLOSE AND PERSONAL WITH HIS BEST FRIEND . . . . THIS SCENE STILL GIVES ME GOOSEBUMPS . . . . OUTSIDE OF 'APOCOLYPSE NOW' AND 'THE DEEERHUNTER', THE PREMIERE VIETNAM FLICK . . . . FUCKING INTENSE FROM BEGINNING TO END.

I'm gonna say it, Oliver Stone leaves me luke warm at best, bubble gum directing, prostituting history for his own skewed view and it's all about Ollie, Kubrick on the other hand was always about telling a story as accurately and as intimately as possible . . . . when 'Full Metal Jacket' was released back in '87 it blew me away, I paid to see it something like four, maybe five times, riveting stuff and full on from the opening scene and I thought it shat all over 'Platoon'.

Vincent D'Onofrio's compelling portrayal of the nerdy mummy's boy turned psycho, 'Pyle', is nothing short of fucking excellent, the geek goes from R Lee Ermey's [who is a former Marine, and, so is Gene Hackman] favourite whipping boy to dead-eye-dick then ultimately runs amok in the dunny with his 'liddle fren' in this chillingly unsettling scene . . . . anyway, just a great movie, stands the test of time by being as eminently watchable now as it was twenty five years ago . . . . oorah !!!