ANOTHER SHOCKING INSTALLMENT CONFRONTING THE GLOBAL HIPSTER EPIDEMIC . . . . HAVE YOU RECENTLY GROWN A BEARD, STARTED WEARING FLANNEL SHIRTS AND SOME RETRO DORK SPECS . . . . IF YOU HAVE, THEN YOU'RE LIKELY ALL OVER THIS CURRENTLY HOTLY 'TRENDING'* BEHAVIOR AS WELL . . . . DRINKING OUTTA THE OLD 'MASON JAR' AND THE LIKE . . . . GET A CLUE AND A GLASS, YOU DUMBARSE MOCK HILLBILLY WANKER . . . . DEATH TO HIPSTERS !!!

* THE WORD 'TRENDING' HAS BEEN USED IN A CYNICAL MANNER IN THE ABOVE POST TITLE . . . . YEP.

THIS IS SO PATHETIC IT'S ACTUALLY SCARY . . . . THINKING THIS KINDA CAPER IS EVEN REMOTELY COOL IS EVIDENCE OF HOW COMPLETELY FUCKING DELUDED YOU ARE . . . . DRINK UP, LOSER.

HEY, LOOK AT ME . . . . I'M SO JUST SO HARDCORE, I'M DRINKIN' OUTTA JARS . . . . HE HEY !!!

BEEN HAVING A SPOT OF BOTHER WITH A FEW OF THE 1%ER CLUBS AROUND TOWN LATELY, THE BOYS ARE RUNNING IT WELL INTO THE RED ZONE . . . . JOHN Q LAW IS A TAD PERTURBED AND HAS RUSTLED UP A POSSE OF REINFORCEMENTS TO ESTABLISH LAW AND ORDER ON THE STREETS . . . . BUT LOOK OUT FOLKS, THERE'S A NEW OUTFIT IN TOWN AND THESE DUDES DON'T FUCK AROUND, 'SONS OF MUMFORD' M.C . . . . 0.05%ERS, TOUGHER THAN S.O.A !!!

ON THE SUBJECT OF THE 'REAL DEAL' LADS, WE MUST HAVE WAY MORE THAN THE NATIONAL PER CAPITA AVERAGE OF OMC's AROUND THESE PARTS, SOMEWHERE IN THE VICINITY OF FIFTEEN CLUBS ALL VYING FOR SUPREMACY AND THE USUAL TURF WAR CAPER . . . . GETTING A WEE BIT HEAVY IN FACT, HOWEVER, AS IS USUALLY THE CASE, THE MEDIA IS GOING INTO A MASTURBATORY FRENZY, WHIPPING THE PUBLIC INTO A STATE OF MASS FREAK OUT AS WE'RE SURELY ONLY MOMENTS FROM A COMPLETE AND TOTAL OVERTHROW OF THEIR BELOVED SYSTEM OF EN MASSE SOCIAL ANESTHESIA . . . .  

THREE DAYS WITHOUT RIDING, GOING INSANE IN THE MEMBRANE . . . . HAVEN'T HAD TIME NOR THE ABILITY TO MAKE CALLS ON IT OWING TO HAVING TO CARRY VINO WITH ME . . . . AND A MASSIVE HANGOVER THAT LASTED ALL DAY AND IS ONLY CLEARING NOW . . . . I'M ITCHING SOMETHING CHRONIC TO PLANT MY ARSE IN THE SADDLE SIX HOURS FROM NOW AND SPEND THE DAY ON THE ROAD . . . . THE PURPLE PENIS IS READY TO ROLL, SO AM I . . . . OFF TO BED !!!

OVERCOMING YOUR MOST DEEP-SEATED FEARS . . . . HUGE SURF, SCARES THE LIVING SHIT OUT OF ME EVERY TIME I SEE THE STUFF . . . . DUDES CLIMBING SHEER ROCK CLIFFS THOUSANDS OF FEET HIGH, WITH OR WITHOUT ROPES, MY SPHINCTER TIGHTENS UP . . . . GUYS WORKING MILES UNDERGROUND FOR A LIVING, COULDN'T EVER DO IT NO MATTER THE CASH . . . . TRAVELLING AT INSANE SPEEDS ON THE HIGHWAY, BIKES OR CARS, MY KIND OF FUN, NO DRAMA AT ALL.

HUNTER S THOMPSON, CAPTURING THE ESSENCE OF FIGHTING THE FEAR . . . . IN CAHOOTS WITH HIS CONSTANT ILLUSTRATIVE HENCHMAN, RALPH STEADMAN

CLIFF HOAD'S "SPLITT DECISION" T-BUCKET, DONE AND DUSTED, OUT AND ABOUT . . . . LOVING THIS SHOT OF THE LOONIEST LOON IN MY WORLD'S TRIBUTE TO TOMMY IVO AND THE SIXTIES SHOW ROD SCENE . . . . I KNOW I'VE RAVED IT UP BEFORE BUT THIS PIC REALLY FEATURES THIS TESTAMENT TO ONE BLOKE'S OCD LIKE MANIA TO A 'T' . . . . SO MUCH OF THIS HAS BEEN HAND FABBED BY CLIFFY IT'S MENTAL, FRONT WHEELS, PIPES, STEERING WHEEL, SOFT TOP FRAME . . . .

AND THE LIST GOES ON AND ON AND ON . . . . HE BEGAN THE BUILD TWENTY YEARS AGO, COMPLETED IT THIS YEAR . . . . YOU CAN'T HURRY LOVE OR LUNACY . . . . CLIFFY, YOU'RE ABSOLUTELY INSANE !!!

CELLULOID HEROES FOR REAL LIFE INSPIRATION, DANIEL SIMPSON DAY . . . . SPECIFIC IMAGES LODGE IN THE MIND LIKE CHEWING GUM ON THE SOLE OF YOUR BOOT . . . . MY MOST LOVED CHARACTER FROM 'ANIMAL HOUSE' . . . . 'D-DAY' REPRESENTED EVERYTHING I FELT ABOUT UNI IN 1980; I JUST DIDN'T WANT TO BE THERE . . . . HIS CRAZINESS, HIS DISREGARD FOR AUTHORITY, THE LOVE OF BIKES AND CARS, THE SLICKED FLAT-TOP . . . . IT WAS RAMMING SPEED TIME !!!

"FREEDOM LIES WITHIN YOUR SOUL . . . . ALL YOU GOTTA DO IS LET IT OUT"

D-DAY'S CHARACTER RESONATED POWERFULLY WITH ME FROM THE MOMENT I FIRST SAW THIS EPIC FLICK IN FEBRUARY OF 1980 AS A FRESHER AT UNI ON MY FIRST NIGHT IN COLLEGE, AND IT HAS DONE EVER SINCE . . . . EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS FUN LOVING, ANARCHIC, DROPOUT-TO-BE APPEALED TO ME, THAT'S PROBABLY A PISS POOR ADMISSION FOR A FIFTY TWO YEAR OLD BLOKE TO MAKE BUT IT'S THE TRUTH, ALL I KNEW IS THAT THE ENTIRE UNI CAPER WASN'T GOING TO WORK OUT FOR ME . . . . I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT IT WAS I WANTED TO BE BUT I DEFINITELY KNEW WHAT I DIDN'T WANT TO BE, AND THAT WAS WHAT MY PARENTS, MY OLD SCHOOL AND SOCIETY EXPECTED OF ME, A TEACHER, A LAWYER, A SUIT . . . . NAH, THAT TRIP WAS NEVER MY BAG, THIRTY THREE YEARS LATER AND I'M PERFECTLY FINE WITH HOW THINGS HAVE ALL TURNED OUT . . . . D-DAY, THANKS A MILLION MAN, YOU REALLY WERE AN INSPIRATION, FOLLOW YOUR HEART AND YOUR INSTINCT, GO WITH YOUR GUT . . . . WHITELINEPSYCHO, GOT NO GRADE POINT AVERAGE . . . . DANIEL SIMPSON DAY, WHEREABOUTS STILL UNKNOWN.

MY LOCAL COUNCIL, STATE GOVERNMENT, BIG BUSINESS GROUPS AND DEVELOPERS WANT TO TURN THIS BEAUTIFUL PART OF MY TOWN INTO A CRUISE SHIP TERMINAL . . . . THIS PLACE HAS BEEN RAPED AND DESTROYED BY THESE CORPULENT, MORALLY CORRUPT ARSECLOWNS FOR TOO LONG . . . . FUCK OFF TOM TATE, FUCK OFF CAMPBELL NEWMAN AND FUCK OFF BIG BUSINESS . . . . THE PEOPLE ARE UNITED ON THIS ONE . . . . ENOUGH IS ENOUGH !!!

"5th BROOKLYN INVITATIONAL CUSTOM MOTORCYCLE SHOW" ['BBGARAGE' POOTUBE] . . . . THIS IS LITERALLY RED HOT OFF THE PRESS, IT'S ONLY JUST FINISHED AND 'BBGARAGE' HAS NOW POSTED THIS BRILLIANTLY PUT TOGETHER MINI-DOC . . . . WONDERFUL SHOTS OF THE BIKES, THE PEOPLE, THE SETUP, THE STREET, THE WHOLE SHEBANG . . . . IN ONE NICELY SCORED AND WELL CONSIDERED VIDEO . . . . I WOULD GIVE MY LEFT NUT TO ATTEND THIS ONE SOMEDAY !!!

FRESHLY AND LOVINGLY PLUCKED FROM THE "NO GREASE TIL BROOKLYN" PORTFOLIO . . . .

I couldn't think of a better reason to drag my tired old arse to the Big Apple than to spend some time checking out what is certainly one of the most respected shows on the planet, been keeping tabs on this gig since the first one, at least as much as I can do from half a galaxy away, and each year it seems to be a steady tweeking of what went down the year before . . . . no hoopla, no distractions, simply an intimate focusing on the bikes and the builders, all the likely and deserving suspects and all the current year's top notch scoots . . . . shit, what's the hell's not to like ???

FINAL FLING FROM THE BEAUDESERT SWAP . . . . THERE IS NOTHING MORE ENJOYABLE THAN WANDERING ABOUT AT A SWAP WITH NOTHING IN PARTICULAR TO LOCATE . . . . I IMAGINE THERE EXISTS A CERTAIN 'TYPE' OF PERSON WHO LIKES TO FREQUENT THESE EVENTS ON A WORLDWIDE BASIS . . . . MOST ARE BIT 'ODD', THEY ALL HAVE A LOVE FOR THINGS OF YESTERYEAR AND THEY TEND TO ESCHEW CONTEMPORARY TRENDS . . . . OLD SCHOOL FOLK !!!

In some sorta bizarre way, I reckon most regular attendees have discovered that all they need in life is the constant and consistent knowledge that the things they love and cherish are not part of the dreary, dull and drab modern world, these 'things, whatever they mat be, still represent substance in an age of transient, sub-standard, disposable shit . . . . I can't help but agree.

FRANKEN-T HYBRID . . . . NOT SURE WHAT THE FUCK IT WAS BUT WELL A TURNED OUT RIG

EDSEL'S DOWNFALL . . . . NEVER GOT THE DERISION, NICER ON THE EYE THAN MANY OF THE TIME

 MY PERSONAL PICK OF THE DAY . . . . 1967 COLT 1000 CRISP, CLEAN AND PACKING A PUNCH

 THE GRISWALDS WERE IN ATTENDANCE WITH THIS TASTEFULLY MODDED DELIVERY JIGGER

 A POIFECTLY PRESENTED PRISTINE PACKARD . . . . DRIVEN IN FROM SEVENTY FIVE MILES AWAY

 FAIRLY FUCKING FLASH FIFTY FIVE . . . . DEFINITIVE PERIOD STYLE, MINUS THE XXL ROLLERS

THE GUARDIAN OF THE GATE . . . . GROOVY GREEN 'A' MODEL POSTED AS GATEKEEPER

SUNNYBOYS "HAPPY MAN" (1981) . . . . GREAT AUSSIE OUTFIT, PERFECT SIXTIES INSPIRED POST PUNK POWER POP . . . . HAILING FROM MY HOME TOWN, JENNY AND SINGER/SONGWRITER, JEREMY OXLEY, WERE THE GOLDEN COUPLE . . . . JEREMY WENT ON TO FIGHT A LONG BATTLE WITH SCHIZOPHRENIA AND THEY SPLIT . . . . BUT NOT BEFORE MISS TUBBS WAS IMMORTALIZED AS THE OBJECT OF AFFECTION IN MOST OF THE TUNES ON THE FIRST KILLER ALBUM.

I'M ONLY TOO STOKED TO TELL YOU MY FIRST BAND HAD THE OPPORTUNITY TO SUPPORT THE SUNNY'S ON SEVERAL OCCASIONS AT THEIR ABSOLUTE BLISTERING, SWEAT-DRENCHED, LIVE SHOW PEAK AND OVER TIME I ALSO BECAME FRIENDS WITH THE LOVELY GIRL WHO IS THE SUBJECT OF THIS AND THE PREVIOUS POST . . . . YEAH, LIFE'S BEEN GOOD.

"KEEPING THE DUC THING ALIVE" OR "STOP TALKIN BOLOGNA" . . . . ONE OF THE SEXIEST, COOLEST CHICKS I'VE EVER KNOWN, JENNY TUBBS AND HER GTL 500 IN 1982 SOMEWHERE OUTSIDE OF DUBBO . . . . THE GIRL GREW UP SURROUNDED BY SICKLES COURTESY OF HER FATHER'S MANIA FOR THINGS OF THE TWO WHEELED PERSUASION . . . . SHE WAS ALSO THE INSPIRATION FOR A SIZABLE CHUNK OF THE SONGS ON 'THE SUNNYBOYS' FIRST ALBUM . . . .

SHE'S SNAPPED PHOTOS FOR ROLLING STONE AND NUMEROUS OTHER MUSIC MAGS, SUNG IN SOME CRACKING ALL GRRRLY POST PUNK BANDS OF THE EIGHTIES, BUT ABOVE ALL ELSE, SHE LOVES BIKES, HAS A MAGNIFICENT KNOWLEDGE OF MARQUES AND MODELS AND HAS BEEN RIDING SINCE SHE WAS A WEE LASS . . . . NOW LIVING THE HAPPILY MARRIED LIFE IN BOSTON MA. SHE STILL POSSESSES THE SAME NUTSO LUST FOR LIFE THAT HAS CHARACTERISED HER EXISTENCE, THIS PHOTO IS SO COOL IT GIVES ME CHILLS, GORGEOUS CHICK GETTING INTO WATERPROOFS, LOOKING LIKE SHE'S STEPPED OUT OF 1965, HAVING A BALL . . . . JENNY TUBBS-BARBATO, YOU ROCK !!!

TALKING ITALIAN - DUCATI MADNESS REIGNS SUPREME IN BRUNSWICK HEADS . . . . FOR THE THIRD TIME IN AS MANY WEEKS I RAN INTO THE BLOKE WHO OWNS THIS NEAT AS A PIN '78 860 GTS . . . . NOWHERE NEAR AS COMMON AS THE DARMAH OR THE SS BUT LIKE ALL THE HULKING WOG JOB VEE-TWINS OF THE PERIOD, A BRUTALLY EFFECTIVE BLASTER . . . . WITH THE TURNING CIRCLE OF A B-DOUBLE AND SHIT IN TOWN TRAFFIC . . . . ON THE HIGHWAYS, BELLISSIMO !!!

THIS THING IS QUITE THE KILLER RESTO, DOWN TO ORIGINAL FASTENERS, 32 MM DELL'ORTOS, HEADLAMP BRACKETS, U.S SPEC REFLECTORS, LEGIT SEAT COVER, CLOCKS AND CONTIS, AND ALL DONE WITH THE INTENTION OF USING THE BASTARD IN ANGER AND GETTING SOME SERIOUS MILES ON THE ODOMETER . . . . HAVING RIDDEN QUITE A FEW OF ITS SIBLINGS I CAN SAY UNEQUIVOCALLY THEY ARE A GREAT RIDE, AS LONG AS YOU'RE NOT PUTTING ALONG IN HEAVY TRAFFIC OR WANTING TO DO A QUICK U-TURN IN A NARROW STREET, BUT POINT THE SUCKER AT SOME OPEN ROAD WITH SOME SWOOPING TWISTY BITS THROWN IN AND IT TORQUES ITS 90 DEGREE HEADS OFF . . . . ALWAYS LOVED THE SOLID 'CLUNK' OF THE GEARSHIFT IN CAHOOTS WITH THE MASSIVE LOWDOWN PULLING POWER OF THESE LATER SQUARE CASES, NOT TO MENTION WHAT IS ARGUABLY THE SEXIEST ENGINE NOTE IN THE WORLD OF MOTORCYCLING . . . . LIKE I SAID IN THE INTRODUCTION, BELLISSIMO SIGNOR TAGLIONI !!!

CROSSTOWN TRAFFIC . . . . NINETY MILES AN HOUR GIRL, IS THE SPEED I DRIVE, YOU TELL ME IT'S ALRIGHT, YOU DON'T MIND A LITTLE PAIN, YOU SAY YOU JUST WANT ME TO TAKE YOU FOR A RIDE . . . . HENDRIX, MITCHELL AND REDDING . . . . THE COOLEST, TOUGHEST THREE PIECE IN TOWN . . . . EVERYTHING ELSE THAT CAME AFTER IS ONLY A PALE IMMITATION.

OLD GOLD MAINTAINS ITS ALLURE . . . . FROM THE 'LEAVING UHMERIKA TO FIND DESERVED FAME' FILES

ONCE A DUCATISTA, ALWAYS A DUCATISTA . . . . I FIRST MET DAVE, OWNER/BUILDER/RESTORER OF THIS CRACKING '72 450 DESMO, AROUND 1989/90, FIRST 110% DUC NUTTER I'D RUN INTO AT THE TIME . . . . HIS STABLE INCLUDED ALL THE SOUGHT AFTER 70's SUSPECTS AND ALL IN FINE FETTLE . . . . THEN CAME DIVORCE, THAT'S WHERE SHIT GOT UGLY . . . . SHE'D DONE THE DIRTY AND GOT BUSTED . . . . JUST TO RUB IT IN, SHE HAD HER BRIEF TAKE THE FUCKING LOT !!!!

BIKES INCLUDED IN THE PAYOFF PALAVER WERE A '72 SS, A SILVER SHOTGUN AND A LEGIT SMART REPLICA, THE SS WAS THE FIRST DUC I EVER RODE AND WOULDA BOUGHT THE JIGGER IF I HAD THE BUGS BUNNY . . . . THANKFULLY, DAVE'S ONE OF GOD'S REAL GENTS, HE REBUILT HIS LIFE AND HIS GAGGLE OF ITALO-CENTRIC EXOTICA AND IS BACK IN THE SWING OF THINGS, AND TODAY HE WAS SWINGIN OFF THIS SANO '72 BABY DESMO . . . . BOUGHT IN ROUGH BUT COMPLETE SHAPE IT'S HAD THE MAGIC WAND WAVED OVER IT BY DAVE HIMSELF, ALL PRETTY STOCK, EXCEPT THE DELIGHTFUL DESMO PORTION, SS PISTON, V2 STREET/RACE GRIND CAM AMONG OTHER HOT TOUCHES, THE 30ml DELL'ORTO PROVIDING THE PERFECT FUEL DELIVERY TOOL . . . . GREAT TO SEE AND HEAR SUCH A BEAUTIFUL WEE SCOOT AND EVEN BETTER TO SEE A GOOD BLOKE BACK IN THE GAME !!!

"THE DEVIL WEARS DADA", A GAME THE WHOLE FAMILY CAN PLAY . . . . ZOO-BOY G, ALL ROUND MERRY PRANKSTER AND ASSOCIATE OF THE LORD OF DARKNESS HIMSELF . . . . DOING DUMB SHIT IS THE MOST FUN I CAN EVER BE PARTY TO . . . . I RECKON MY EX-WIFE UNDERSTOOD THIS AND REALISED SHE REALLY WASN'T UP TO THE TASK . . . . MIKEEYRAT'S SPONTANEOUS UTILIZING OF THE CIGARETTE PACKET HEALTH WARNING 'EYE' PROVED ENTIRELY GIGGLESOME

I'VE KNOWN THIS GUY FOR THIRTY TWO YEARS, HE'S ALWAYS HAD THE KNACK FOR THE DRY, WITTY ONE-LINER AND A GIFT FOR THEATRE OF THE ABSURD . . . . 'THE DEVIL WEARS DADA', DARN TOOTIN !!!

DON'T IT MAKE YOUR BLUE EYES WEIRD . . . . FREAK OUT THE ARYAN NATION

BLUE EYED TRICLOPS . . . . PRECSIENCE AND FORESIGHT . . . . YOU CAN HAVE IT TOO !!!

LAST NIGHT A DEEJAY SAVED MY LIFE, MUSICAL MAYHEM AND THE MOUNTAIN OF MIRTH . . . . AFTER A TORRID WORKING WEEK DUE TO PRESSURE FROM ABOVE TO 'SELL, SELL, SELL' AND COVERING THE BEST PART OF 1000 KLMS I IMPALED MYSELF ON THE PURPLE PENIS AND HEADED FOR THE MOUNTAIN . . . . SILLINESS REIGNED SUPREME, WHICH IT OFTEN DOES AMONG THIS CREW . . . . BEERS, VINO, NOSH, CHIT CHAT, MIND EXPANSION THERAPY . . . . I'M BETTER NOW.

THE PURPLE PENIS ON ARRIVAL . . . . I'D NEVER HAVE IMAGINED HOW SWEETLY THIS WEE THING WOULD RUN, SITS EASY ON 140k/ph WITH OODLES TO BURN . . . . JUST OPEN PIPES AND A POWER COMMANDER

XP FALCON SQUARED . . . . THE METALLIC GREEN MIDSIZE FAMILY TRUCKSTER AND THE BROWN BOMBER

MY FAVOURITE VENETIAN . . . . JULES LOVES HER WAGOON, PARTICULARLY THE STYLING REAR BLINDS

NATIVE PARTY CRASHER . . . . GORGEOUS AND HEAVILY UNDER THREAT, IT'S NOT EASY BEING GREEN

LETTING SLEEPING DOGS LIE . . . . MS TOOHEY BRINDLE AND MR PAUL DIGGS, LYIN' AROUND THE HOUSE 

I STARTED SMOKING A WEEK AGO . . . . NOW I'M FUCKED FOR LIFE, SMOKING RUINS YOUR TEEF !!!

SOUTHERN FRIED KIDNEYS "GRAVEYARD" 1983 . . . . SEMINALLY PSYCHOTIC SWAMP RAWKERS, THE KIDNEYS MANAGED WITH GREAT SUCCESS TO AVOID THE MAINSTREAM ADULATION THEY NEVER CRAVED . . . . BY REMAINING TRUE TO THEIR UNDILUTED VISION OF GUTTER LEVEL, RAW, UNFILTERED SOUTHERN THRASH . . . . SNARLING, GRUNTING AND SLOBBERING, THEY TOURED THE SOUTHERN STATES OF OZ DISEMINATING A MUSICAL MANTRA THAT FEW WILL FORGET.

'DIFFERENT STROKERS FOR DIFFERENT FOLKERS' . . . . SIGHTED THESE TWO UTTERLY DIFFERENT SICKLES LAST WEEKEND, NOT MUCH IN COMMON THERE YOU MAY WELL OPINE . . . . YOU'D BE RIGHT AND WRONG . . . . THE B3 BANTAM CHOOK CHASER/CAFE RACER/TRIALS TAKER I LOVED FOR IT'S INDIVIDUALITY AND HONESTY . . . . THE EARLY EIGHTIES JAWA FOUR VALVE HAD ME FROM TURN LEFT, THE LAST OF THE CLASSIC MODERN ERA SLIDERS . . . . TWO WHEELS UNITED.

Like most guys my age who have always been bike nutters, I've seen a lot of BSA's most prolific product in a multitude of guises over the years, mint restos, unrestored shitters, scramblers, mini road racers, trials hybrids, ag-bikes and even a couple of half arsed comic chops, one with a raked Virago front end, but I ain't ever seen anything quite as unique as this little fucker, plastic Jappy MX tank and 'bobbed' rear guard, full length front guard and the entirely fetching cafe/beached dolphin seat, nonetheless, it's a motorcycle and I love it, ringa ding ding ding !!!

Then there was this 1979/1980 model speedway mosheen for sale at $3,500 standing proudly on its trailer and still evoking the sounds of these wonderful rockets in the days before noise restrictions and silencers fucking with the experience. The Jawa donk was fitted with the 4 valve, Briggs developed, head which in their day were an awesome bit of kit, helping to eke further life out of the marque that took over where the J.A. Prestwich powerplants left off, I remember going to the Sydney Showground with my dad and uncle to see the sliders in action as a young kid . . . . the sights, the smells and the sounds have stuck with me ever since, no brakes, fuck all suspension, one speed . . . . yep, go incredibly fast, turn left.

ASSORTED RANDOMS FROM THE LAST FEW WEEKS . . . . I'VE NEVER BEEN A PHOTOGRAPHER, NEVER TAKEN PHOTOS, I'M STILL NOT A PHOTOGRAPHER BUT I'M DIGGING TAKING PHOTOS FOR THE FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE . . . . C'MON BUBBA, SQUEAL LIKE A PIG, ANY OLD IRON, TE NUMERO UNO MINDO WARPO, SKELETONS IN THE DELIVERY, SUPPORT INDEPENDENTS AND INDEPENDENCE . . . . MAX RESPECT, NOT FEELING SCHAAFTED . . . . TRAVELLING AND TRIPPING

MORE GOODNESS FROM THE TRENCHES OF THE SUNDAY SWAP-A-THON AT B'DESERT [THAT'S HOW THE OLD TIME LOCALS PRONOUNCE BEAUDESERT] . . . . A REASONABLY TIDY, CYCLE PARTS ONLY, RESTO OF A 1935 FLATHEAD UP ON A TRAILER AND UP FOR SALE . . . . NOT BEING TOO UP ON MARKET PRICES FOR THESE OLD JIGGERS I WAS SOMEWHAT LOATHE TO PART WITH THE 25K REQUIRED TO MAKE IT MINE . . . . THE CHROME OUTER CASE COVER KINDA SUCKED ARSE.

The thing was painted in that contemporary Harley orangey yellow with super fine flake, almost polychromatic, which I didn't realise until I got up real close then had to avert my eyes so quickly I almost sustained whiplash, not my bag of frosted cocks but it's all good . . . . the owner chap, in black tee and beard in top shot, assured me, very proudly, that even though he'd thrown a fair chunk of cash at bringing the cycle parts up to scratch the motor hadn't been touched because some old fella had told him that's the way to do it . . . . doesn't quite make a shedload of sense to me but, hey, another cool old scoot saved from the deathbox.

THE TOWNSHIP OF BEAUDESERT, THAT'S 'BEAUTIFULLY UGLY' IN SOME WEIRDO, ROMANTIC, EUROPEAN LINGO, LIES INLAND AND ON THE WESTERN SIDE OF THE MOUNTAINS BEHIND THE GOLD COAST BY ABOUT FIFTY MILES . . . . THEY'VE BEEN HOSTING A SWAP MEET AT THE SHOWGROUNDS SINCE MOSES WAS POOPIN YELLA . . . . WENT OUT ON THE PENISMOBILE WITH CHOOK ON SUNDAY AND SPOTTED SOME COOL SHIT . . . . CARS, BIKES AND HEAT, PERFECT !!!!

"THE ONLY THING MISSING WAS THE SECOND 'L' IN THE BADGE ON RIGHT HAND GUARD"

Time to start with something other than bikes and cars for a shift in direction . . . this bitchin shorty '63 Scout was out and about in amongst the usual F-Trucks and Land Rovers, all original throughout and for sale, at a very sharp 3.5k, if I heard correctly, bit difficult with the owners Aussie drawl . . . . rare as rocking horse shit . . . move over trendy, moderne, SRV's, this is the grandpappy of them all . . . only this one's actually tough, cool and will last another fifty years. 

MIKEEYRAT AND I HAVE ALWAYS HAD A DETESTATION FOR GUYS OUT HERE STICKING CHEVY BADGES ON HOLDEN 'COMMODORES' . . . . THE COMMODORE'S AN AUSSIE PRODUCED COPY OF AN OPEL THAT HAS ACHIEVED CULT STATUS AMONG THE BRAIN DEAD BOGAN BRIGADE OVER THE LAST THIRTY ODD YEARS . . . . THESE DAYS THEY COME EQUIPPED WITH A CHEV V8 BUT EVEN BEFORE THIS GUYS WERE NAILING BOWTIES TO THEIR GRILLS . . . . BLOODY DICKHEADS !!!

"MIKEEY'S WINDOW STICKER SAYS IT ALL - CHEVY BADGES ON COMMODORES MAKE BABY JESUS CRY".

What I'm talkin about here is the in the same league as deciding to put a 'Cuda badge on a Valiant just because you stuck a 360 in it or deciding to whack a Super Glide badge on your skirtster because you've got a narrowglide front end, even though you're running the latest Bowtie donk at the pointy end of your current model Commodore SS doesn't make the fucking thing a Chevrolet, it's a friggin Holden, nothing more and arguably, a little less . . . . it's a tad similar to some crew who have dedicated the last few years of their life to getting all the correct 'tough stickers' on their bodies, wearing the decreed clothing, riding the accepted type of chop and thereby thinking they are now one of the founding fathers of the counter-cultural bike movement, wrong, just like Joey Bogan with his '86 model Commodore and it's non Chevy powerplant, just because you've gone and stuck the pretty badge on the grill, doesn't mean that it's now a Chev . . . capiche ???