DINOSAUR JUNIOR "WATCH THE CORNERS" . . . . EVEN THE STRAIGHT SECTIONS OF LIFE'S LITTLE ROAD COURSE ARE FRAUGHT WITH POTENTIAL PERIL . . . . BUT THOSE FUCKING CORNERS, MAN, THEY CAN BE SO GNARLY . . . . WE ALL GET TO COMPETE WHETHER AWARE OR NOT, IT'S JUST THE WAY IT ROLLS . . . . KEEP YOUR HEART OPEN, YOUR SENSES ON THE ROAD AHEAD AND THE OLD MIND IN 'RECEIVE' MODE.

BEEN REVISITING D. JR FOR OVER A WEEK NOW, FROM ANCIENT TO BRAND SPANKING NEW, SUCH A DEPTH OF QUALITY . . . . WHATEVER PERIOD IT CAME FROM . . . . THERE IS NO BAD MUSIC HERE !!!!!

THE ORIGINAL, ONE AND ONLY, "FLYING A", DAVE ALDANA . . . . FROM AN ERA THAT SPAWNED SO MANY LASTING LEGENDS CAME THE 'RUBBER BALL' . . . . EQUALLY ADEPT ON FLAT TRACK, ROAD RACING OR ANY OTHER FORM OF TWO WHEELED MADNESS . . . . A BITCHIN LITTLE VIDEO ON ALDANA AS HE IS NOW . . . . BAZ SHEENE ONCE TOLD ME HE HAD ULTIMATE RESPECT AND ADMIRATION FOR THE BLOKE.

CLASSIC ALDANA TURNING LEFT, HARD AND FAST AS ALWAYS . . . . GRAB A FISTFUL, TUCK IN, HANG ON.

YEAH, I KNOW, HUNDREDS OF OTHER BLOGS HAVE FEATURED THE SKELETON MAN IN RECENT TIMES, AND WHY THE FUCK NOT, THE FELLA IS DEADSET LEGEND MATERIAL, FROM A TIME WHEN THEY WERE MADE ON THE TRACK NOT THROUGH MARKETING HYPE, BUT THIS IS MY TURN . . . . GOIN SUPER STRONG FORTY AND MORE YEARS SINCE JOINING THE FRAY AS A YOUNG, NO FEAR, BIG BALLS JOCKEY, ALDANA IS STILL INVOLVED IN A SERIOUS WAY WITH PROMOTING HIS PASSIONATE MADNESS FOR TWO WHEELED COMPETITION . . . . LOVED, ADMIRED AND RESPECTED BY HIS PEERS, THOSE WHO CAME AFTER HIM AND FANS ALIKE, THE DUDE IS OUT THERE HAVING FUN AND PROVIDING A TOUCHSTONE WITH THE HALCYON DAYS OF SIXTIES/SEVENTIES RACING CULTURE, GOOD HUMOURED, AFFABLE AND APPROACHABLE . . . . REAL, HONEST COOL . . . . BARRY WOULDN'T HAVE SAID IT IF IT WASN'T HOW HE FELT, THAT'S A PRETTY FUCKING DECENT ENDORSEMENT !!!

THE "SADDLEMEN" CREW HAVE THROWN TOGETHER A GROOVY, UP TO DATE VIDEO OF MR ALDANA AND WHAT HE'S DOING WITH HIS NOW NOT SO YOUTHFUL SELF . . . . THE WORD 'INSPIRATIONAL' GETS THROWN A LOT THESE DAYS WITH THE FREQUENCY OF 'LEGEND' AND 'CLASSIC' . . . . IN DAVE'S CASE HOWEVER, ALL THREE ARE APPLICABLE IN THEIR PURIST AND MOST SPECIFIC MEANING . . . . LIVE LONG AND PROSPER DAVE, YOU'RE STILL BRINGIN A THRILL TO THIS FIFTY ONE YEAR OLD KID, JUST LIKE YOU DID WHEN HE FIRST SAW 'ON ANY SUNDAY' FORTY YEARS AGO . . . . HUGE RESPECT.

REGURGITATOR - "ALL FAKE EVERYTHING" . . . . SO YOU THINK YOU'RE AN ORIGINAL, LEGIT, PART OF THE INNER SANCTUM OF COOL . . . . WELL, THAT'S A CROCK OF EPIC PROPORTIONS . . . . WHAT'S WORSE, THE 'HOG' YUPPY WANNABE OR THE DUDE WITH THE RIGHT INK, THE THREADS, THE BIKE . . . . EVEN THOUGH AT FORTY HE'S ONLY BEEN RIDING FOR THE LAST SIX YEARS . . . . ALL THE SAME BULLSHIT TO ME, 'BRO'.

FILE UNDER, "THE TWO SIDES OF THE SAME SHITTY COIN" . . . . OR "A WHOLE MESS OF INK AND FILTHY JEANS DON'T MAKE A BIKER EITHER" . . . . OR "ORIGINAL WAS SIXTY YEARS AGO, EVERYBODY'S TAINTED WITH IMITATION AND PLAGIARISM"

I DON'T GIVE A FUCK IF YOU'VE BEEN RIDING A LIFETIME OR THE LAST WEEK . . . . I REALLY DON'T DESPISE YOU IF YOU'RE A WEEKEND WARRIOR LAWYER DUDE DONE UP IN ALL THE FACTORY ENDORSED SEW ON GARBAGE, IF YOU'RE A HALF DECENT HUMAN BEAN THEN ALL IS SWEET, WHATEVER FLOATS YOUR BOAT . . . . BUT IF YOU'RE DEPICTING YOURSELF AS PART OF THE 'DIRTBAG ELITE' WEARING ALL THE 'CORRECT' HARDCORE LABELS, CHAMPION BEARD, ALL THE REQUISITE TUFF STICKERS AND THE CORRESPONDING 'ATTITUDE' BUT IN REALITY YOU'VE BEEN 'INTO' THE LIFE FOR, I DUNNO, THE LAST FOUR MINUTES . . . . YOU'RE EVERY BIT AS FAKE AND SHALLOW AS THE MUCH MALIGNED HOG MEMBERS, PROBABLY WORSE. 

THERE'S MORE THAN ONE KIND OF HIPSTER . . . . THE SCENESTER HAS MANY FACES AND MANY GUISES, BUT THE SMELL IS ALWAYS THE SAME . . . . BAD . . . . BE REAL, BE YOU, I'LL BE REAL AND BE ME . . . . 'ALL FAKE EVERYTHING' SUCKS ARSE !!! 

REGURGITATOR IS A GREAT BAND FROM BRISBANE IN AUSTRALIA'S SUNSHINE STATE, FIRST SAW THEM BACK IN THE EARLY NINETIES AS 'PANGEA' . . . . LOTS OF WATER UNDER THE BRIDGE SINCE THEN, STILL WRITING RELEVANT TUNES, STILL TAKING THE PISS WHERE IT'S NEEDED AND STILL KICKIN IT . . . . GO THE GURGE !!!

"HUNTING HARLEY'S 1940 KNUCKLEHEAD POLICE BIKE ORIGINAL PAINT AND DOCUMENTS" . . . . ANOTHER TIME WORN DIAMOND IN THE ROUGH FROM THE HARLEY HUNTER DUDE . . . . REMINDS ME OF 40's AND 50's BLACK AND WHITE FILMS . . . . SPED UP CHASE SEQUENCES, CORNBALL SCRIPTS AND THE GOOD GUYS ALWAYS WIN . . . . JUST LIKE REAL LIFE . . . . EEK, SORRY, WHAT THE FUCK WAS I THINKING ??

LOVIN THIS OLD BUS, SCOOT BY THE MO-CO, PATINA BY FATHER TIME, RESCUED BY THE HAPPY HARLEY HUNTER, WHAT A GIG THIS BLOKE HAS, SCREW THE AMERICAN PICKERS CREW, THEY'RE OK BUT THIS IS SUCH A TARGET SPECIFIC OPERATION . . . . I DIG ALL THE RECYCLED, REBUILT, REFURBISHED, EVEN RE-PATINA-ED, BIKES GETTING AROUND, THAT BEING SAID HOWEVER, I'VE ALWAYS HAD A BUG UP MY ARSE WHEN IT COMES TO UNRESTORED, ORIGINAL PAINT, OIL STAINED, LOVE AND USE WORN BIKES AND CARS . . . . HELL, GUITARS, BYCICLES, WATCHES, TOOLS, CAMERAS, ANYTHING THAT SHOWS THE MARKS AND PATINA OF WHAT IT WAS DESIGNED FOR . . . . BEING UTILISED TO PERFORM THAT SAME TASK, TIME AND TIME AND TIME AGAIN.

This fabulous old 1940 EL exhibits all those characters by the bucketload, oozing way more cool than oil and obviously in darn good nick given its venerable age and history, love the off white paint too, pretty sure as a new bike it wasn't hard white, please correct me if I'm wrong . . . . gotta say, I'm also a real fan of Todd, the Dude doin all the footwork in the pursuit of buying all these old tubs, probably many of you in the States know the guy, to me, he's just this manically possessed hunter of all things old and born in Milwaukee and I reckon it's a really noble cause . . . . I'd love to think someone would buy it and leave it as is, sadly, that's highly unlikely . . . . unless it ends up in the hands of Mr Knucklebuster.

P.S . . . . Lovey, you gots to attempt to dissuade old Sweary Mick from messing with the tank at least, the way it is now has to be preserved, those decals alone are absolute gold, to lose them for the sake of some nice new ones would almost be sacrilegious . . . . I know you hold the same opinion but give it a serious old crack before resigning yourself to the 'instructions from on high' . . . . love ya brotherman dude.

JOY DIVISION "TRANSMISSION" AND A BRIEF BUT INTENSE READING FROM JOHN COOPER CLARKE . . . . THIS SHIT IS FOREVER . . . . NOTHING ELSE NEEDS TO BE SAID.

WARSAW . . . . JOY DIVISION . . . . NEW ORDER . . . . A GENUINE AND PERPETUAL LEGACY.

THIS CHICK IS RULIN HER ROOST WITHOUT A DOUBT . . . . MY FAVE GRRRLY IN ALL OF BIKE BLOGDOM, THE ONE AND ONLY . . . . MISS OLIVIA BANANAS . . . . A RELATIVE NEWCOMER TO 'THE LIFE' SHE IS SUCKING THE MARROW OUT OF EVERY BONE ON THE CARCASS . . . . OLLIE AND THE UBIQUITOUS 'LITTLE PONY' ARE LE REAL DEAL !!! DOIN IT ALL WITH HER OWN CRAZY STYLE . . . . VIVE LE BANANA !!!

Poor young thing, a popped out Ollie catches some zeds surrounded by some class company on her recent adventure on The Picadon Run in France, this crazy, funny, honest, straight up weirdo French gal has grabbed the biking life by the balls and is wrestling the entire ridin and rockin caper to the ground on a daily basis . . . . her blog, http://thebigmamaintrospection.blogspot.com , is a gig totally worth checking out, she writes like a French woman speaks and I reckon it's so fucking cute, always telling it how it is, heart on her sleeve, warts and all.

There are lots of cool blogs out there for all sorts of reasons, but Miss Olivia Bananas 'The Big Mama Introspection' is genuinely something out of le box, a regular bike ridin, soul surfin, street skatin, disc spinnin, fun havin, straight shootin gal . . . . so get your merd together and check in on the world of Ollie and her Little Pony . . . . tres fantastique !!!!

"1974 XLH IRONHEAD" [BY 'TUCHIYAF' ON POOTUBE] . . . . SHORT AND SWEET, JUST LIKE THE BIKE . . . . I LOVE SIMPLICITY AND AN ABSENCE OF BULLSHIT DOODADDERY AND FRIPPERY . . . . I NEVER FIGURED THAT THE SKIRTSTER WAS ABOUT ANYTHING MORE THAN 'LESS' . . . . SOMETHING REALLY HONEST ABOUT THIS LITTLE CRITTER THAT GIVES ME A THRILL . . . . PERIOD CORRECT, PERHAPS . . . . TOTALLY COOL, YES.

Not a clue who 'Tuchiyaf' is but it came as no surprise to discover he hails from Japan, yes indeedly, where it's always seemed that the pursuit of 'perfect form' in all things is something of a national pastime, nothing better exemplifies this than the obsession with old bikes, particularly Harleys . . . . the '74 Ironhead in the vid totally does it for me, the alloy rims, the boardtracker style pipes, the way he's managed to get the brake on the front end and not have it looking completely out of place, the stance, the tank, bobbed rear fender . . . . and then there's the bloody glorious sound as he vanishes off into the distance . . . . pretty fucking perfect . . . . honest as the rays from the rising sun Tuchiyaf San.

SHIT WITH FINS IS COOL, MAGNUSON SHIT WITH FINS IS THE COOLEST . . . . I'VE BEEN MENTIONING MAGNUSON FINNED PRIMARY COVERS SINCE I STARTED THIS WHOLE BLOGVENTURE NINE MONTHS AGO . . . . ONLY EVER SAW ONE IN THE FLESH ON A PAN CHOP IN THE EARLY NINETIES, IT WAS 'THE' FINSHIZZLE . . . . I REALLY WANTED A TRUMPY VERSION, NO POINT NOW . . . . BUT A 74" FX MODEL, HELL YEAH !!!!

Mmmmmmm . . . . fins . . . . droooooollll . . . . these things have always resulted in instantaneous horn action for me, and finally I've found some pics, they just weren't around that long ago on the interweb when I was initially hunting for them, an exchange between Irish Rich and Noot sent me off for another shot and I got lucky . . . . made by Jerry Magnuson's namesake 'Magnuson Products Development', the same mob who now do superchargers, they produced these sexy, highly effective units from the mid sixties [?] into the seventies before the market fell away and the company morphed into its current guise.

I knew they made one for Trumpies as well and had searched high and low for one twenty years ago after having seen the one on a member of the Rebels M.C chop's at a show in Sydney, but in the pre global backyard community that the interweb has become, I just lucked out and forgot about it . . . . fast forward twenty or so years and I mentioned them in correspondence to Denver Dan when buying one of The Speed Merchant's finned derby covers for the Skirtster and went onto name them in a few posts early on in this blog . . . . I was beginning to think I had imagined the whole year that I first encountered it because no matter how much I searched I couldn't find any fucking evidence whatsoever, until now, so here they is !!!

Like all alloy performance parts of quality, they were way more than just beauty mods, performance was the real bottom line, those huge, deeply grooved fins actually dissipated shit loads of heat away from the primary drive gear and clutch housing and plates, in a day when any extra assistance was sorely needed prior to modern oils, kevlar/composite shit, better quality seals, yada, yada, yada . . . . it just happens that they look the absolute fucking bollocks as a bonus into the deal !! The Magnuson branded examples were also made from top quality alloy, not just some melted down pots and pans, they didn't warp or end up pissing precious bodily fluids from hairline fractures that developed with use on inferior kit. Looking at the catalogue from the time, they weren't cheap even then, but quality shit never was.

***** SO, I'M PUTTIN IT OUT THERE, IF ANYONE HAS ONE OF THESE WONDERFUL JIGGERS FLOATING AROUND TO SUIT THE EARLY 74" FX SERIES AND YOU WANT TO UNLOAD THE LI'L FUCKER . . . . DROP ME A LINE AND WE'LL HAGGLE OUT SOME SORT OF A DEAL, I'M NOT GOING TO BE SWINDLED BUT I AIN'T GONNA WANNA SCREW YOU EITHER, IT'S TOO LATE FOR THE TRUMPY BUT THE PROJECT SHOVELLER COULD BE JUST IN TIME !!!

PHOTO COURTESY OF http://www.chopcult.com 

PHOTO COURTESY OF http://www.jockeyjournal.com

CHILDISH GAMBINO "FIRE FLY" . . . . ANOTHER SURVIVOR OF 'THE GREAT DRAFT PURGE' OF LAST WEEKEND . . . . LOVE THIS SHIT, DEFINITE FEEL GOOD GROOVE, TELLIN A COOL TALE, A BIT OF SKATE ACTION . . . . APART FROM THIS TRACK, I DON'T KNOW DIDDLY ABOUT THESE DUDES . . . . I DIG THE TUNE AND THAT'S WHAT MATTERS . . . . HOPE YOU DIG IT TOO, C'MON, RELAX . . . . FREE YOUR MIND !!!

**** IF YOUR LIVING IN AUSTRALIA AND YOU'VE GOT SOME SORT OF INDEPENDENT, ALTERNATE, HONEST, COOL BIKE/CHOP, CAR, SKATE, MUSIC, FILM, CULTURAL EVENT TYPE CAPER COMING UP AND WANT SOME HELP GETTING IT OUT THERE . . . . SEND ME THE BLURB, THE POSTER OR GRAPHICS AND I'LL PUT IT UP FOR YOU, NOW THAT I CAN POST PICS AND CUT AND PASTE . . . . NO STRINGS, NO CATCHES, NO BULLSHIT, I'M A NICE GUY . . . . MY CAR'S NICE, MY DOG'S NICE, MY WIFE'S NICE . . . . I'M NICE . . . . WELL, NOT REALLY, BUT I WILL DO IT . . . . LATER KIDDIES, THIS OLD DOG'S OFF TO BED . . . . ZZZzzzzzzz

"CRAZY" - DEFINITION - MAD, INSANE, UNUSUAL, IMPRACTICAL, MENTALLY DERANGED, ERRATIC . . . . "OBJECTIVE" - DEFINITION - UNINFLUENCED BY EMOTIONS OR PERSONAL PREFERENCES, BASED ON OBSERVABLE PHENOMENA, PRESENTED FACTUALLY . . . . "FACEBOOK" - DEFINITION - OBSELETE . . . . SOME BLOKES NEED A BIT OF ATTITUDE ADJUSTMENT, OPEN YOUR MINDS, GET MORE OUT OF LIFE !!!

SINCE WHEN WERE CHOPPERS EVER ABOUT SENSIBLE ?? IT TAKES BALLS TO TAKE RISKS . . . . MAKING CRAZY FRANK SEEM RELATIVELY SANE.

JEFF WRIGHT OF CHURCH OF CHOPPERS METICULOUSLY, PURPOSEFULLY AND WITH VERY SPECIFIC INTENTIONS RECENTLY COMPLETED THIS AMAZING SCOOT AFTER SIX MONTHS OF LABOURING, HE CALLED IT 'THE CRAZY BIKE' . . . . I ASSUME BECAUSE HE THOUGHT IT WAS . . . . I DUNNO . . . . CRAZY ??? IT SURE AS SHIT AIN'T YOUR RUN OF THE MILLSTONE, PERIOD CORRECT, RETRO, BEEN THERE DONE THAT CHOP, AND, IT'S JUST A SHOT IN THE DARK, MAYBE, JUST MAYBE, THAT WAS THE ENTIRE BLOODY POINT OF THE EXERCISE . . . . YA THINK ???

IT'S CLEAR THAT A FEW FOLK AROUND BLOGWORLD AREN'T GETTING IT, THAT'S A FUCKING SHAME, ONE OF THE MOST INCREDIBLY CRAFTED AND CONSIDERED BUILDS IN THE LAST TEN YEARS . . . . IT MIGHTN'T BE QUITE YOUR CUP OF DATURA BUT TRY OPENING THE MIND, DON'T JUDGE IT AGAINST WHAT YOU KNOW, TAKE IT ON ITS OWN INSANE IN THE MEMBRANE MERITS . . . . GO AND TAKE YOURSELF A VISIT TO http://coccrazy.blogspot.com.au/ AND CHECK OUT THE ENTIRE PROCESS, IT'LL FRAZZLE THE SIGHT RECEPTORS . . . . IT'S FUCKING CRAZY !!!!

THE COC 'CRAZY BIKE' . . . . YOU'LL NOTE THAT IT'S NOT NAMED THE 'GOOD OLD FASHIONED REHASH THE PAST BIKE' . . . . NOT THAT HARD TO COME TO TERMS WITH IF YOU ASK ME . . . . WHICH NOBODY DID . . . . BUT I DON'T NEED AN INVITE.

IF YOU'RE LIVING ANYWHERE ON THE GOLD COAST, NORTHERN NEW SOUTH WALES, BRIS VEGAS OR SOUTH EAST QLD . . . . GET ALONG TO THIS LITTLE SHEBANG THAT HARRY'S IS PUTTING ON . . . . I'D IMAGINE THAT BILLET AND BLING MONSTERS WILL BE FEW AND HOPEFULLY FAR BETWEEN . . . . I'LL BE THERE ONBOARD THE GOOD SHIP PURPLE PENIS . . . . PROJECT SHOVELLER'S STILL A WAYS OFF BEING ROAD READY.

THE BLACK KEYS "LITTLE BLACK SUBMARINES" . . . . THESE GUYS ARE SLOWLY BECOMING A NINE PIECE, GIVE A RAT'S SAC, THEY'RE STILL PUMPING OUT KILLER TUNES . . . . JUST ONE IN A LONG LIST OF TALENT FROM OHIO . . . . CHRISSIE HYNDE, DEVO, THE CRAMPS, DAVE GROHL, THE DEAD BOYS TO NAME ONLY A VERY FEW . . . . SO MUCH MUSICAL GOOD SHIT HAS SPRUNG FROM THIS STATE . . . . GO FIGURE.

WHAT THE FUCK IS IT WITH OHIO . . . . ??? PROXIMITY TO MOTORCITY, REMOTENESS FROM  L.A, NOTHIN LIKE THE BIG APPLE . . . . WHATEVER IT IS, DON'T STOP . . . . OHIO, WE LOVE YOU !!!

"77 HARLEY IRONHEAD CAFE/BOBBER" [BY 'OHEEZIE'] . . . . THE WHOLE 'RAT' THING GETS SO OVERDONE, LIKE OVERKILL . . . . BUILDING ANYTHING TO DELIBERATELY LOOK LIKE SHIT IS SOMETHING I DON'T GET, SORRY, BUT GENERALLY, UGLY HAS NEVER BEEN COOL . . . . THIS SALT FLAT INSPIRED SHOOTER IS AN 'UNFINISHED' RIDE I RECKON LOOKS THE SWEET TITICACA'S . . . . SALTY DOG LANE SPLITTER, YEAH !!!

Jeez I dig Zooey Deschanel, but that's beside the point right now . . . . the ironhead, that's where we were at.  It looks really cool, kinda lo-fi, hi-speed, death-tech, if you know what I mean, fully into the Brazilian bikini fairing and the rear cowl/fender thing, narrow almost clip-on lookin bars, cutoff 2 into 1 system, sittin nice and low and so tightly compact, for me, this little underground street missile hits the spot . . . . very, very salt flat, cafe racin, lane splittin mofo, I like it !!

Yeah, it's a tad scrappy, pretty much unfinished, a lab rat sorta gig but it looks like it's actually leading somewhere rather than not having a specific intention and destination, everything about it is part of the big picture, cohesion, that's the word I'm chasing . . . . for a fat bastard like me, it probably ain't a perfect choice in sizing, but for the owner or any other of you svelte, sexy, 32" waist type dudes, this old '77 ironhead is the deadset foshizzle fo sho . . . . even if I could barley fit on the thing, I'd be pretty fuckin stoked to be a blastin on down the highway on this little jigger, a nice serve of whiteline fever for a WhitelinePsycho . . . . get some !!!!

DINOSAUR JR. "OVER IT" FROM THE 'SONGS TO SING ON SUNDAY' SECTION . . . . THAT FUNNY OLD SAUROPOD, J 'SKATEDOG' MASCIS, JAMMIN HARD AND FLOWING LINES ALL OVER TOWN . . . . KINDA REMINDED ME OF JASON WEBBER'S NOW CERTIFIED 'LEGENDARY' BF4 PISSTAKE . . . . MR MASCIS, THE GRANDFATHER/GURU OF GRUNGE.

D JR, THEY'VE BEEN WITH US NOW FOR THE BEST PART OF THIRTY FUCKING YEARS AND STILL GOING STRONG, I'LL ALWAYS HAVE THEM ALIGNED WITH SONIC YOUTH AND MUDHONEY AS THE TRIUMVIRATE OF WHAT SOME CALL GRUNGE, HUGELY INFLUENTIAL ON INDY ROCK FROM SEATTLE TO MANCHESTER, SYDNEY TO SIBERIA . . . MASCIS AND HIS FELLOW DINOSAURS HAVE BEEN DIRTYING THE WATERS OF ROCK+ROLL WITH AN HONESTY, FERVOUR AND DEVOTION TO THE COLLECTIVE CAUSE THAT FEW HAVE BEEN BEEN ABLE TO MATCH . . . . I'VE BORNE WITNESS TO THEIR LIVE SHOWS ON FIVE OCCASIONS AND HAVE ALWAYS BEEN ELEVATED FAR ABOVE THE HUM DRUM OF EVERYDAY MUSICAL MONOTONY AND DULLNESS, . . . . DINOSAURS . . . . EXTINCT . . . . NO WAY JOSE !!!

**** NO MASCIS' WERE HARMED DURING FILMING OF THIS CLIP, ONLY PROFESSIONAL
    STUNT DOUBLES WERE USED UNDER STRICT SUPERVISION.

TALK ABOUT GETTING STRUCK UP THE BUM BY A RAINBOW . . . . MY GOOD BUDDY TIM AT LOVELESS ENGINEERING AND TEA MAKING SERVICES HAS JUST OBTAINED THE "RACING RIGHTS" FOR THIS GORGEOUS, ALL ORIGINAL RICKMAN METISSE AERMACCHI 250 . . . . LOVEYMUCKER'S ANOTHER BLOODY PERFECTIONIST LIKE THE PREVIOUS BLOKE . . . . JUST WATCH THIS ANGLO-ITALIAN MASTERPIECE GET RE-BORN !!!

There are several reasons why I've stolen these piccies from Loveless Engineering Inc. Racing Development and Tea making Services. Firstly, I'm green with envy and want to be able to perve at this extremely rare Rickman brothers framed Aermacchi road rocket at leisure . . . . secondly, it's an example of just how many different and divergent powerplants Don and Derek Rickman fitted and fettled fantastically fine frames for over an extended period of time, and were influential on so many other designers who took the industry forward . . . . thirdly, it's an excellent illustration of naturally attained 'patina', as opposed to the type found in bottles of acid, and doesn't it look fucking gorgeous, how could you possibly mess with that !!! And fourthly . . . . [continued bottom of post]

Fourthly and finally, Lovey is another one of those anally obsessive, meticulous, fastidious and persistently dedicated bastards who, with the assistance of his long term executive officer, Commander Dangerman, will transform this tired, slightly dog-eared, musty, quarter of a century unridden, classic, into a beautiful, well sorted, unrestored/patina preserved, optimum performance obtained, racebike, once again . . . . I've mentioned several times in the past that if you're seriously into good old fashioned, uniquely British, backyard, DIY, uber-engineering and bike building, not to mention great yarns about music, riding, racing, real life living, tea making, observations on life the universe and small dogs, then head on over to http://lovelessengineering.blogspot.com.au/ and get yourself an eyeful . . . . you will come away richer for the experience . . . . watch that space !!!

CLOSE-UP OF A PRISTINE, PERFECTLY PROPRTIONED, MAG POWERED, SUPER TOUGH, ULTRA COOL, GOOSE NECK XLCH . . . . ONE DAY I'D LIKE TO HAVE A BEER WITH THIS DUDENAGEL . . . . A BLOODY PERFECTIONIST OF THE FIRST ORDER . . . . HE KNOWS STUFF TOO, LIKE, LOTS . . . . A REAL 'HAWKEYE' WITH HOGGLIES.

CHEERS MATE . . . . EJAMAKATED ONCE AGAIN.

THE BIG LEWBOWSKI "GUTTERBALLS" [A JACKIE TREEHORN PRODUCTION] . . . . AN EPIC DUDE IN AN EPIC SCENE FROM AN EPIC FILM, NEVER, EVER, EVER FUCK WITH ANOTHER MAN'S RUG . . . . WHAT CONDITION IS YOUR CONDITION IN . . . . HOW'S YOUR MIND . . . . THE TUNE IS ONE OF TWO REASONS WHY KENNY ROGERED SHOULD BE ALLOWED TO LIVE . . . . THIS, AND 'RUBY, DON'T TAKE YOUR LOVE TO TOWN'.

'NIGHT EVERYBODY, THIS DUDE'S HITTIN THE HAY, GOT ME A DAY OFF TOMORROW, THE PURPLE PENIS AND THE HIGHWAY AWAIT . . . . FOUR POINTS LEFT ON THE LICENSE, GIDDY UP, YEE HAA !!!

"RUMBLESEAT" - A SHORT FILM BY MIKE ROBERTS - MUSIC BY THE SADIES [MICHAEL ROBERTS] . . . . I WAS SORTING THROUGH THE QUAGMIRE OF DRAFT POSTS I'VE ACCRUED OVER NINE MONTHS . . . . FUCK, I'M LIKE SOME SORT OF INFO HORDER, THE DOWNSIDE OF BEING SPONTANEOUSLY AFFECTED BY STUFF I LOVE . . . . THIS HOWEVER, IS A 'MUST SEE' PIECE OF BRILLIANCE . . . . WATCH IT NOW !!!

I FILED THIS UNDER "SHIT THAT MAKES ME FEEL THE WONDERMENT OF CHILDHOOD AGAIN, BUT IN A KINDA DARK, MAGICAL ADULT WAY" . . . . YOU MIGHT CHOOSE SOMETHING ELSE ENTIRELY.

I came across Mike Roberts initially while searching for some of his other animation/directorial credits after checking out the awesome video clip for The Sadies "Horseshoe" some time back . . . . he'd done other more 'regular' work but it was his feel and empathy for the Rothesque cartoon medium that really flipped my flaps . . . . the visuals for 'Horseshoe' were, for me at least, like going back to the late sixties, early seventies, in my mind and the feeling it engendered within that bit of my subconscious that connects instantly with the soul component . . . . immediate subterranean, psychological time warp . . . . if you catch my drift . . . . man.

So . . . . anyway . . . . I saved "Rumbleseat" to draft and promptly forgot the sucker was even there until my spring clean of the bayou like swamp of material consigned to the 'save it for a rainy day' draw tonight . . . . I played it again and was instantly hit smack bang in the middle of the 'fuck me, this is just wicked stuff' gland, once more that invisible switch somewhere between the parietal and occipital lobes flicked on and I was away . . . . spiraling backwards in the vortex of the time/space continuum, yet, incongruously, anchored firmly in the now, a seven year old's emotional innocence and excitement running in a double helix with the darker, more sinister feelings of a developmentally retarded fifty year old teenager . . . . it makes me feel that same special way I used to when I was a kid, immersed in cartoons that took me out of this world, that feeling, the vibe, the spark, that I live each and every day in unknowing search of . . . . to get 'it' back . . . . if only for the blink of an eye.

Can ya dig what I'm layin down for ya cats . . . . do ya feel like I do . . . . can you hear 'Frampton Comes Alive' . . . . well, if you can hear that, you're a fucking lost cause loser and there's no coming back from where you're at . . . . childhood sucked balls . . . . dreams are for softcocks . . . . and as for choppers and bikes and shit . . . . go and get a real job, join society and grow the fuck up !!! 

"UNION PACIFIC 'BIG BOY' COLLECTION" [PENTREXVIDEOS] . . . . I DON'T KNOW ABOUT ALL OF YOU MY AGE, BUT I WAS A HUGE STEAM AND DIESEL LOCOMOTIVE FREAK AS A KID . . . . IT REMAINS IN YOUR VEINS FOR LIFE . . . . HAVING CHECKED OUT THE LATEST POST ON 'ANCHOR' THIS MORNING, I WAS REMINDED OF MY FAVE LOCO EVER . . . . THE MASSIVE, SUPER STRENGTH, ULTRA COOL "BIG BOY" SERIES.

There has never been a more powerful, super duty steam locomotive built than these spectacularly massive rigs built in the US from the early forties, faster maybe, stronger and more bulletproof, never ever . . . . they were so fucking huge new lazy Susan turnaround thingies had to be constructed to accommodate their physical mass . . . . designed to haul the biggest loads ever pulled by rail anywhere in the world, across the the plains then the mountains in the west of the States, they were perfect for the intended task but never produced in huge numbers and saw their heyday during the war years and immediately thereafter.

Just seeing this footage sends shivers up the spinal chord and sets the hairs on the ballsac standing to attention, I've only ever seen photos of them in a couple of my books on trains and my uncle had a really cool model of one, to see them actually doing their intended haul arse job is awesome . . . . like Anchorman said, if you have any feeling for how things used to be, and like any form of cool machinery, then you should enjoy this journey into bigness of the past . . . . the legit 'Big Boy' shit, this ain't no gangsta rap . . . . tooooot, tooooooooot !!!

OUTKAST "ROSES" [THE REAL DEAL] . . . . ALL THINGS CONSIDERED IT'S BEEN A PRETTY FUCKED DAY, YOU KNOW, BIORHYTHMIC LOW AND ALL THAT SHIT . . . . HAD 'STANKONIA' ON IN THE CAR ON THE WAY HOME, STUCK IN MY HAYED . . . . WE'VE ALL KNOWN A CAROLINE AT ONE TIME OR ANOTHER, UNFORTUNATELY . . . . LIFE JUST DOESN'T SMELL LIKE ROSES SOMETIMES . . . . TODAY WAS SUCH A TIME.

Melody and some of the niceties of songcraft had just about vanished up their collective bumnoles during the first part of the decade when it came to so called R+B, rap and hip hop, by and large it was clunky, beat driven, non melodic noise . . . . thank fuck for the constantly at loggerheads pairing of Andre3000 and Big Boi, otherwise known as Outkast. Hailing from somewhere like Pig's Knuckle, Arkansas, these two dudes had a huge feel for all the melodies, hooks and chorus catchiness that so many others missed out on . . . . going back to Miss Jackson and prior, the pair of them managed to come up with some eminently memorable pop of the quality kind, anyone who couldn't at least tap their feet to 'Hey Yeh' must be clinically dead . . . . 'Roses', pretty much the same, universal subject matter, great tune, wicked lyrics and this super chill clip featuring a pick-up I'd give both my nads to have parked in my drive . . . . as for Caroline, not worth a squirt of billy goat's piss . . . . you can have her buddy !!! Later, off to bed, had enough of this day.

SANCTIMONIOUS, POMPOUS, SUPERIOR FOLK OUGHT BE BROUGHT DOWN TO EARTH AT EVERY OPPORTUNITY . . . . I SAID AGES AGO IN A POST, IF YOU'RE RIDIN THE HIGH HORSE, IT'S A LONG, HARD FALL TO THE GROUND . . . . MET A SOMMELIER TYPE TODAY, WAY TOO COOL FOR SCHOOL . . . . WRITING CHEQUES HIS 'ACTUAL' WINE KNOWLEDGE JUST CAN'T CASH . . . . CHECK YO'SEF DUDE, THEN, DEPLOY 'CHUTE.

THE LATE, GREAT, OVERSIZE MASTER OF THE CAUSTIC COMEBACK, MISTER JOHN CANDY . . . . RIP MAN.

SOCIALLY RESPONSIBLE SPENDING OF TAXPAYER DOLLARS . . . . A RATHER FLASH PORSCHE PANAMERA "FOR PROMOTIONAL PURPOSES ONLY" . . . . WHILE 'REAL CRIME', THE STUFF THAT EFFECTS A MAJORITY OF CITIZENS ON A DAILY BASIS, IS RUNNING RAMPANT . . . . SOME OF AUSTRALIA'S BOYS IN BLUE ARE ABOUT TO BE CRUISING AROUND IN GERMANIC SPLENDOUR . . . . HMMMMM ???

FILE THIS ONE UNDER . . . . "THINGS ARE TOUGH ALL OVER" . . OR . . "CHEAP AT HALF THE PRICE".

BOUND TO MAKE THE MONEYED ELITE FEEL SO MUCH SAFER, CONTENT IN THE KNOWLEDGE THAT THE SEETHING, DESPICABLE MASSES ARE BEING KEPT WELL AND TRULY UNDER THE THUMB .

I GUESS THEY'LL LIKELY BE KITTED OUT WITH LAUREN, HAND STITCHED, RHINO SCROTUM JODHPURS AND MATCHING JACKETS . . . . I WOULD'VE THOUGHT POLICE FUNDING MAY HAVE BEEN A POOFTEENTH BETTER DIRECTED, PROMOTIONAL DEAL OR NOT . . . . BUT THAT'S JUST ME . . . . BOOK EM FERDINAND !!! 

THE MOST UTTERLY RIDICULOUS LOOKIN HALF HUMAN I'VE EVER SEEN . . . . POOR DUDE MUSTN'T HAVE ANY MATES AT ALL . . . . OTHERWISE THEY WOULD'VE SAID YEARS AGO, "STOP IT IMMEDIATELY, YOU LOOKING LIKE A FUCKIN IDIOT !!!" . . . . MAYBE THIS CLOWN IS TOTALLY BLIND, OR WAS VISITING THE ONLY GYM IN THE ENTIRE WORLD WITHOUT A MIRROR . . . . STEROID ABUSE . . . . YA THINK ????

DOES ANYONE REMEMBER READING ABOUT THE DUDE WITH EXPLODING BICEP ???

HE ALSO REMINDS ME A TAD OF THE SUBJECT OF MY RANT FROM A FEW DAYS BACK.

SURPRISED THOSE CRITTER IDENTIFICATION EXPERTS, THE HAINTS, DIDN'T GET TO THIS ONE FIRST.

** NOTE ALSO THE HEAVILY MANICURED FACIAL HAIR THING . . . . IS IT PAUL JUNIOR PERHAPS ??
NO MORE POSTS LIKE THIS . . . . I PROMISE . . . . COULDN'T RESIST THE URGE . . . . JUST THIS ONCE.

VEE TO THE FREAKIN YAMAHAULIN MAX . . . . THIS MONSTER DOSE OF TOUGH WAS IN FOR FINAL FETTLING BY ROSCOE AND THE SCOOT SURGEON TEAM . . . . THE WILDEST, COOLEST, MEANEST, SEXIEST V-MAX I'VE EVER COME ACROSS . . . . THIS DUDE IS DOING IT ALL AT THE TOP END OF SERIOUS GO FAST, STOP QUICK, BIG BUCK, WELL CONSIDERED CUSTOMISING . . . . NOTHING SUCKSEEDS LIKE EXCESS !!!

 

 

I've been lustfully perving on this behemoth bit of super bike sex for a couple of weeks, how the fuck could you not, what with the Evel Kneivel inspired paint job leaping at your meat pies, but it's way more than just an exercise in aesthetic makeover bullshit . . . . everything about this awesome big Yammy is executed with the aim of real world performance, not sure what he's thrown at the powerplant but the rest of the thing reads like a 'must have' list of quality kit.

Top line Magura levers and master cylinder, similarly no expense spared Ohlins on the arse end, forgotten the brand of wheels, [Marvic maybe], eight pot rear caliper that would pull up the USS Nimitz, upside-down front end with twin rotor four pots grabbing at the disc, hand fabbed radiator and a stunning exhaust system whose name also escapes me . . . . we all know that the V-Max has always possessed a horse ranch full of neddies and enough torque to go stump pulling in the back paddock, however, to see one sorted like this in such a totally performance orientated direction and have it look so fucking good at the same time has really flabbered my gast. 

Cubic dollars for sure, but if you can afford it, why the hell not, the trick is getting it right, doing it properly, any clown can go out and chuck megabucks at a bike and still have it turn out like a piece of shit, having the nouse to get it all together in one purposeful, coherent and kick arse package is something else entirely.  

 

THE EAGLES "ONE OF THESE NIGHTS" [REMASTERED] . . . . I KNOW I OFTEN BASH THE SHIT OUTTA THESE AGING HIPPIES . . . . DEEP DOWN THOUGH, I DIG A LOT OF THEIR STUFF, ESPECIALLY FROM AROUND THIS PERIOD . . . . EVEN 'HOTEL CALIFORNIA', SO BADLY FLOGGED TO DEATH BY RADIO . . . . GREAT PLAYERS, LYRICS OF THE TIMES AND HARMONIES SENT FROM GOD . . . . THE EAGLES, HELL YEAH, THEY'RE COOL.

Thinking and contemplating the past and one chick in particular, a bottle of vino becomes two, two becomes a blur and memories become a little more significant than they have for a long time, the what if's, the if only's, the introspection that descends into uncomfortable soul searching . . . . one of these nights, comin right behind you, swear I'm gonna find you, get you baby one of these nights . . . . 

THE LOUNGE LIZARDS "INCIDENT ON SOUTH STREET" . . . . VIRTUOSO ODDBALL JOHN LURIE LED THIS AVANT GARDE DECONSTRUCTIONALIST JAZZ OUTFIT TO SERIOUS UNDERGROUND/ALTERNATE ACCLAIM . . . . I WAS AND REMAIN, A RESOLUTE AND ARDENT FAN . . . . THIS IS MUSIC THAT CAN MAKE YOUR SKIN CRAWL AND THE HAIRS ON YOUR BALLSAC STAND TO ATTENTION . . . . TEST YOURSELF, PUSH THE LIMITS.

THE LOUNGE LIZARDS PLAYED MUSIC THAT WAS NOT UNLIKE AURAL HEROIN MIXED WITH BAD ACID, SOUNDS THAT ALWAYS HAD ME FEELING I WAS IN SOMETHING LIKE A CROSS POLLINATION OF A JAMES ELLROY AND WILLIAM BURROUGHS NOVEL . . . . THE SOUNDS OF THE STREETS OF SOME HUGE CITY, WHERE DRIZZLE, DULL, BLEAK HALF-LIGHT AND GREYNESS ARE ALL PERVADING, PEOPLE CLOSER TO ZOMBIES TRUDGE AIMLESSLY TOWARD DECAY AND NOTHINGNESS . . . .

"INCIDENT ON SOUTH" STREET BREAKS MUSICAL CONVENTION LIKE A MADMAN BREAKING WINDOWS IN A GLASSHOUSE, HIGHLY STRUNG, INTENSE, UNCOMFORTABLE, DISCONCERTING, VERGING ON CACOPHONIC, AND FOR SOME SENSITIVE SOULS, FUCKING NEAR IMPOSSIBLE TO COME TO TERMS WITH . . . . MAY I SUGGEST A HEAVY OPIATE OR AT THE LEAST, SOME BUG POWDER DUST . . . . JUST TO GET YOU IN THE RIGHT STATE OF UNMINDEDNESS . . . . ENJOY . . . . OR NOT . . . . CARE FACTOR, ZERO. GOODNIGHT.

"YEP, YEP, YEP, YEP" AS AL USED TO MUMBLE IN 'HAPPY DAYS' . . . . ONLY I'M TOTALLY STOKED, HAPPY, CONTENTED AND ITCHING FOR THE PAPPY CLUTCH BOLT ON DOOHICKEY TO ARRIVE . . . . NEVER PLANNED A BIKE OR A CAR AS MUCH AS I HAVE WITH PROJECT SHOVELLER . . . . FULLY PSYCHED FOR THE PROCESS TO BEGIN IN EARNEST . . . . A COUPLE MORE PICS OF SAID PAPA CLUTCH ITEM IN USE.

Not that the Shoveller will be based on any of the examples I've been focusing on in the last week but they do affirm and confirm that I'm at ease with my decision, I reckon they look sweet, a little different from the more popular rigid setups . . . . as I said, the break in the flow line from backbone to triangulated section is just fine with me and doesn't look fugly like many garage fabbed hardtails can do, it mightn't be for everyone but I'm not everyone, I'm just me . . . . and I'm the only one who has to be happy with it in the final analysis, cheers.

AHH, THAT'S BETTER, PURGE THE POISON, THE BENEFITS ARE INSTANTANEOUS . . . . NOW FOR A LITTLE BIT OF FUNKALICIOUS FUN FOLKS . . . . THE INCREDIBLE, THE ZANY, THE PERMANENTLY FUNK TRIPPIN, BOOTSY . . . . FUNKIN WID DA DEARLY DEPARTED COCKNEY FUNK SUPERNOVA, MR IAN DURY, AND THE SAMPLE FROM HIS MEGA FUNKY GEM, "HIT ME WITH YOUR RHYTHM STICK" . . . . ONE, TWO, THREE !!

Even the grooves on Bootsy's nineties hit, "Do The Freak" are getting dusty now, but the song he so cleverly sampled, Soul Bruvver Blockhead, Kid Kilburn, the one and definitely only, Mr Ian Dury's 1979 miracle that is "Hit Me with Your Rhythm Stick" is as fresh and full of juicy, funky love as it was so long ago . . . . I just reckon it's an absolute show of respect on Bootsy Collins' behalf to acknowledge the enduring awesomeness of the Cockney King's musical masterpiece that 'Hit me' is, and forever shall be, his using its memorable intro is a definite tip of his freaky millinery wear to just how great a tune it is.

The Blockheads were a band of exceptional talent and musical prowess, schooled in the crossover period of London's pub rock and punk scene, they could play it all and then some, and with Billericay Dickie out front and the band fully in the slot behind him, making legit quality, social commentary based, groove infused and timeless tunes was always on the cards . . . . so here is a first for me, two tunes in the same post from two of my musical heroes, drop in on Mister Dury first, get the feel, let yo'sef go and then get down and get funky with Bootsy and check where the inspiration for the predominant sample track comes from . . . . I'm off to buy me a skull mask and a gym subscription . . . . come on, hit me !!!!

HELLO KIDDIES, IT'S ALMOST HALLOWEEN AGAIN . . . . GO AND GRAB THOSE FABULOUS, EXITING AND SCARY FACE KOOZIES AND HEAD OUT ON THE HIGHWAY . . . . WTF IS IT WITH THESE GUMBY FUCKTARD THINGS AND THEIR EQUALLY GUMBY FUCKTARD WEARERS . . . . GET A CLUE, GET A LIFE AND GET THE FUCK OUTTA MY FACE . . . . PATHETIC WOOD-DUCK PRETENDERS, ADJUST YOUR ATTITUDE !!!

1%ers have been wearing these for sometime, that's cool with me, anonymity and all that kinda thing when constantly hassled by the man, I can dig that, but the definitive weekend wanker, oftentimes HOG member, gym junkie, steroid head, bling mosheen riding, wannabe tough guy . . . . what a fucking first class joke !!! Grow the fuck up, stop it immediately before you go blind, which on top of obviously severe mental retardation is not going to do you any favours whatsoever, try buying a full face lid if you're scared of getting your overly manicured face hurt by killer bugs, grains of flying sand and road dirt . . . . but I do realise how bad you want the mean and scary image thing, you've been chasing it since primary school, you sad, oversized fuck !!! And by the way, you Skull Face Dick, I saw you struggling to control your brand new Street Glide through the twisty bits . . . . go and take a learn to ride course, you're a danger to everyone else.

More important still, dumbarsed, moronic, bully boy tactics like elbowing a stranger, me, standing quietly in a line at a takeaway is as fucking pathetic as your take on what it's all about, you remember me dipshit, don't you, I'm the one who mentioned to you on my way out of the store that manners are still a cool thing to be in possession of, you looked all innocent and wronged sitting there with your plastic girlfriends and your idiot, sheep-like buddies . . . . I was actually hoping you'd get up and smash me, prove your manhood to your little gang, but you didn't once you'd been called, like most big, dumb, pretty boy pretenders, I wanted you to because I've got a head like a rock and have never been sat on my arse by anybody, let alone the likes of you clown boy, I hate fighting but I detest wankers like you even more . . . . I've always had the invisible dickhead magnet on my forehead for cocksmokers of your ilk, aggro punters in clubs, in the street, wherever, and it doesn't phase me in the least, have a go you fuckwit . . . . yeah, I'll bleed, maybe even loose a tooth, but I'll just stand there and laugh in your Neanderthal face . . . . been doing it all my life, speaking of life . . . . get one, arseclown, and lose the fucking Halloween outfit !!!

THE HARD-ONS AND HENRY ROLLINS "LET THERE BE ROCK" [AC/DC COVER] . . . . HERO AUSSIE PUNKS FROM PUNCHBOWL SHAKIN UP AN ACCA DACCA SIGNATURE TUNE WITH THE RELAXED AND LAID BACK, BIG, BAD HANK . . . . A FUCKING HUGE COLLABORATION FROM ABOUT TWENTY YEARS AGO . . . . YA GOTTA CHECK BLACKIE AND THE BOYS IF YOU EVER GET THE CHANCE . . . . GIVE YOURSELF THE HORN !!!!

I SAW THIS TONIGHT AND AM STILL WEIRDED OUT BY IT . . . . I KINDA HATED IT AT FIRST BUT I GOT OVER IT . . . . NOW IT'S JUST NAGGING AWAY AT ME, CLEARLY OUTSTANDING WORK . . . . I CAN'T QUITE GET MY MIND AROUND A VINCENT MOTOR IN A STYLE OF BIKE I INHERENTLY DISLIKE . . . . LOVE THE GIRDRAULIC FRONT END THOUGH, VERY VINCENT . . . . MAYBE I'M MORE OF A PURIST THAN I THOUGHT.

I'D BET POUNDS TO PEANUTS THAT MSSRS DAVIS, VINCENT OR IRVING WOULD EVER HAVE ENVISIONED THE UNIQUE BEAUTY AND POWER OF THE VINCENT VEE TWIN RESIDING BETWEEN THE FRAME RAILS OF A SCOOT SUCH AS THIS . . . . UNTIL I SAW IT TONIGHT, NEITHER WOULD I, IT AIN'T MY BAG OF FROSTED COCKS BUT I GUESS I HAVE TO ADMIT IT'S BEAUTIFULLY DONE, MAINTAINING WHAT APPEARS TO BE THE VINCENT 'GIRDRAULIC' FORK SET UP REALLY TIES IT ALL IN . . . . GRUDGING RESPECT . . . . MAYBE.

"JOSH'E RANDOM DUDE AWARD" [BY 'JORDANEPP' POOTUBE] . . . . RANDOM HILARITY FROM THE POOTUBE LOTTERY . . . . APART FROM THE FACT THAT THE RANDOM DUDE IS HUMPING THE QUITE SIZEABLE TROPHY THERE IS SOMETHING ELSE QUITE NOTEWORTHY IN THIS CLIP . . . . CAN YOU GUESS WHAT IT IS CHILDREN ??? NO, NOT THE CHAMBRAY SHIRT . . . . IT'S THE PIPES . . . . OR IS THAT PIPETTES ???

Home from the four hour morning ride for a quick bit of sustenance prior to the arvo session and found this hilarious piece of footage on the old PooTube cornucopia of visual treats . . . . the recipient of the highly coveted "Josh'E Random Dude Award" trying to make a speedy get away with handily gargantuan trophy pop riveted to his backpack prior to being set upon by the incensed and jealous also-ran's whom he beat to the spoils of whatever competition they were in . . . . said Random Dude and his perty cool XS choppy eventually manage to evade the rabidly clamouring masses with the aid of Random Dude's secret chopper weapon . . . . extremely short pipes which, by pointing directly at the ground and acting as thrust nozzles, are capable of propelling Random Dude and the Random Scoot into Harrier Jump Jet style vertical takeoff mode . . . . thereby our intrepid Random Dude Champion escapes from being torn to bloody pieces by the unruly mob . . . . I like it . . . . a lot !!!

THE BRAND NEW HEAVIES "DREAM COME TRUE" [1990 ORIGINAL VERSION] . . . . MORE LIMP, FLACID, 'FAG MUSIC' FROM WHITELINESOFTCOCK . . . . IF IT AIN'T ANYTHING THAT YOU CAN GET YOUR MELON AROUND THEN BEST YOU DISAPPEAR FOR NOW HARDMAN . . . . MEGA TUNE FROM A GROUNDBREAKING ALBUM BY A GROUNDBREAKING OUTFIT . . . . FEELING 'NICE' DOESN'T EMASCULATE YOU !!!

FIRSTLY, APOLOGIES TO ANY GAY FOLK FOR USING THE TERM 'FAG', THE COLD UGLY TRUTH IS THOUGH, THAT A LOT OF DUDES INSTANTLY SPEW THAT COVERING TERM WHEN CONFRONTED BY ANY FORM OF MUSIC THAT DOESN'T REEK OF ANGER, ANGST AND ARSEHOLE ATTITUDE . . . . IF THAT'S YOUR BAG, YOU CAN FUCKING WELL HAVE IT, LIFE FOR ME IS JUST TOO SHORT FOR LUMPING THAT MIND AND SPIRIT SQUASHING WEIGHT AROUND, FEELINGS OF JOY, HAPPINESS AND 'GROOVINESS' HAVE ALWAYS BEEN THINGS THAT I DIG EMBRACING . . . . THAT'S JUST ME THOUGH.

'ACID JAZZ' WAS ANOTHER 'SCENE' THAT WAS HIJACKED AND PROSTITUTED BACK IN THE DAY BY FADJUMPERS AND CLOWN CLUBBER HEADS IN SEARCH OF THE NEXT BIG THING, THANKFULLY ALL THE B GRADE DROSS RELEASED AS 'ACID JAZZ' IS LYING IN THE PAST ROTTING AND FESTERING AS IT DESERVES TO BE . . . . QUALITY MATERIAL AS RELEASED BY 'THE BRAND NEW HEAVIES' IS STILL LIVING ON AND HOLDING ITS AGE WITHE GRACE AND DIGNITY THAT ONLY QUALITY STUFF DOES IN LIFE, BIKES, CARS, TUNES, ART, WHATEVER . . . . ONLY THE LEGITIMATE SHIT SURVIVES, THANK FUCK !! 

THIS ALBUM WAS IN MY TAPE PLAYER IN THE CAR FOR AS LONG AS IT TOOK FOR THE MACHINE TO CHEW IT UP AND SPIT IT OUT, SUPER TALENTED PLAYERS, THE GLORIOUS MISS N'DEA DAVENPORT ON VOCALS, GROOVES AND FEEL THAT SUCK YOU IN AND HAVE YOUR STRIDES OFF BEFORE YOU CAN SAY 'DEATH METAL RULES' . . . . COME ON, GIVE IT A CRACK, WAIT UNTIL NOBODY IS AROUND SO YOU DON'T RUN THE RISK OF PEER GROUP ASSASSINATION, OPEN YOUR MIND AND YOUR SOUL, BRIGHTEN UP YOUR DAY AND YOUR LIFE . . . . IT'S OK, I WON'T TELL ANYBODY, YOU CAN STILL REMAIN THE TOUGH GUY YOU AND EVERYBODY ELSE ALWAYS WANTED YOU TO BE . . . . D'OH !!!

GREAT TIME LAST NIGHT WITH MIKEY RAT, LOUIE, JULES AND THE YOUNG DAREDEVIL JACK . . . . KICKING BACK WITH GREAT PEOPLE, GOOD FOOD, GOOD VINO WAS A PERFECT TIME . . . . BEEN CHINWAGGIN WITH CHOOK ABOUT CARS AND BIKES FOR TWENTY FIVE YEARS . . . . HE GETS 'IT' AND GETS ME AND WHAT I WAS PUTTIN DOWN ABOUT THE RIGID DEBATE DILEMMA . . . . PAPA CLUTCH, HERE I COME !!!

I love the feeling of calm that comes over me once I'm done wrestling with a dilemma or a problem that has been consuming much of any given waking moments during the days, weeks and sometimes months, that precede decision time . . . . well the jury is in folks and the decision is made, gonna order me one of the Papa Clutch bolt on hard tails first thing I get off here. Shock, horror and bemusement I'm certain will be feelings that Lovey and his good mate Barse will likely have, especially given their collective, muchly appreciated on my behalf, attempts to steer me in the weld on direction, what's that fuckin Whitey idiot gone and done now ???

The above ride owned by 'Tourist' on the Chop Cult blog/site where I pinched the shot from, was the final justification for my definite decision to go in this direction, I remember seeing the shot some months ago but didn't realize it was a bolt on jigger, all I saw was one extremely fucking cool scoot, but to find out now that it is a Papa Clutch bolt on kit is the ultimate confirmation that I'm doin the right thing . . . . both for the reason of [A] not wishing to bastardise, no matter how nicely it's done, the stock, straight, unmolested frame, and more significantly, [B], I totally dig the way the fucker looks on all three examples I've used to illustrate my argument . . . . and Tourist's shovel is just the absolute shit in my comprehension of what it looks like.

I understand there is a kind of 'chopper crew cultural cringe' regarding bolt on hardtails, even extending to weld on sections because they aren't done by the owner/rider, and I'm not leveling this at Lovey or Barse, I can understand that thought process and can even respect it . . . . however, I've made it clear from the get go that I'm no fabricator, let alone a mechanic, but I do have a clue about not only what I want in my bikes but also in how to draw it all together, I don't harbour any insecurities about the absence of the former two attributes at all, never have . . . . moreover, I don't think it detracts from the nature of my bikes, or my cars, or my bicycle, or my skateboards, or any other fucking thing that I have made the conscious decisions to alter, modify or rearrange to suit my take on aesthetics, I'm super comfortable with the whole idea.

I'm reminded of a comment made by well known Scientist of Death and Show Class kingpin, Tim, a few weeks ago, he wrote that he sees himself as a 'chronicler', not a builder, a bloke obsessed with bikes and all to do with them . . . . well, I ain't anywhere near the lofty heights of Tim and what he does but I am in my own little way, another chronicler, a nutter for bikes, cars, music and other stuff, I sure as shit ain't no mechanic, builder or whatever . . . . what I do have is a good eye and a sensibility for discerning what looks cool and what works, by and large at least, and at this point in the development of Project Shoveller, it's my ability to see into my minds eye and trust in that vision that leaves me feeling all warm and fuzzy with the decision I have made . . . . only time alone will prove me right . . . . or maybe, wrong . . . . but I doubt it.

"OPEN LETTER OF THANKS AND APPRECIATION" . . . . I'D LIKE TO SEND OUT ALL MY HEARTFELT THANKS AND APPRECIATION TO ALL THE CREW WHO KEEP DROPPING IN AND GOING THROUGH STACKS OF MY ARCHIVAL STUFF . . . . I ALWAYS WANTED THIS BLOG CAPER TO BE A BIT MORE THAN PERMANENTLY DISPOSABLE AND THAT'S WHY I ENJOY DOIN THE BLURB ROUTINE . . . . NICE TO SEE MY 'FILES' BEING ACCESSED.

WHEN I STARTED IN ON THIS BLOGGING SHINDIG LATE LAST YEAR AFTER HAVING BEEN SUSSING OUT MUCH OF WHAT GOES ON ANONYMOUSLY FOR SOME YEARS, THERE IS A REAL FUZZY FEELING THAT I GET WHEN SEEING JUST HOW MANY OF YOU, WHOEVER YOU ARE IN MANY CASES, CHOOSING TO RE-VISIT OR CHECK OUT FOR THE FIRST TIME, MY DRIBBLINGS AND BLITHERINGS FROM THE LAST NINE MONTHS . . . . I KNOW A LOT OF BLOGS DO THE 'POST EM UP, MOVE ON' THING, THE SORT OF INSTANT GRATIFICATION GIG, WHICH I DIG AS MUCH AS THE NEXT MAN, I JUST TRIED FROM THE OUTSET TO FOCUS A BIT MORE ON COMMITTING TO VIRTUAL PAPER, MY THOUGHTS AND MEANDERINGS KNOWING FULL WELL THEY'LL BE THERE IN SOME WAY FOR ANY FUTURE REFERENCE . . . . TO THOSE COMING BACK SO FREQUENTLY AND DIGGING UP MY STINKY PAST BLURBS AND RAMBLINGS I THANK YOU FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART, IT AIN'T FACT PERFECT BUT THEY ARE MY HONEST AND OPEN RECOLLECTIONS ON THINGS AS I SEE IT . . . . STOKED YOU'RE GETTING SOMETHING FROM THEM, BIG LOVE AND RESPECT TO YOU ALL !!!

AND TO ALL THE USUAL, OR IS THAT 'UNUSUAL', CREW WHO SHOOT OFF THEIR OWN REACTIONS, TALES, ANECDOTES AND CONTRIBUTIONS . . . . LOVEY, WES, OLLIE, DAVE, MIKEYRAT, HAIRY, FATASS, BASTARD PAT, TC, THE FROG BOYS, ANCHORMAN, NICKE, RY, HERMIT AND OTHERS . . . . I KNOW IT'S ONLY THE INTERBLOG ETHER THING BUT I DO FEEL A STRONG SENSE OF KINSHIP AND FRIENDSHIP WITH YOU ALL AND MAYBE ONE DAY WE MAY BE ABLE TO ACTUALLY SHARE A COOL TREAT AND A CHAT IN THE FLESH, TA MUCHLY GUYS AND GIRLS . . . . LOVE YOUR WORK !!!!

DR DRE FT. SNOOP DOGG - "NUTHIN BUT A G THANG" [EXPLICIT . . . . OOOOH, NAUGHTY!!!] . . . . ONE, TWO, THREE AND TO THE FOUR . . . . ONE OF THE O.G DIAMONDS, THE GODFATHER OF GANGSTA RAP IN CAHOOTS WITH THE DEE OH DOUBLE GEE . . . . THE GROOVES AND THE TRIPPY, SPACED, PSYCHADELIC SAMPLES ALWAYS GET ME SNAPPIN . . . . AIN'T NO ARGUMENT, THIS SHEEIT IS STILL DOPE !!!!

I'm off for a quick blast down the highway to hang with Mikey Rat, Louie, Jack and Jules, have a great weekend everybody . . . . take it easy, rubber side down . . . . if you can't, just take it . . . . Giddy up !!!!

I KNOW IT'S AS UNFASHIONABLE AS IT'S UNCOOL IN THE EYES OF MANY . . . . AND I DON'T WANT TO LABOUR THE POINT . . . . BUT THE MORE I GO CREEPIN AND A'PEEPIN AT ALL THE OPTIONS FOR THE HARDTAILING OF THE SHOVEL . . . . THE MORE I HONESTLY FIND THIS ONE FUCKING COOL . . . . I DIG THE WAY IT SITS AGAINST THE LINE OF THE STOCK FRAME . . . . AND IT'S SO COMPACT AND TIGHT.

My well intentioned and learned brotherman is doing his best to steer me in the direction of the traditional process of welding/fabbing a hardtail for Project Shoveller, up until very recently it was the only possible course of action I would've considered, Barse's photomentary almost brought me back to that initial belief, but, and it's a big-arsed butt at that . . . . my Kiwi connection had suggested having a gander at the bolt on job available from Papa Clutch, at first I laughed and said 'fuck off', I mean every single bolt on job I've ever seen has been uglier than a hat full of arseholes, gammy, outta whack, hideous broken lines, no way was I gonna turn my tidy old shovel into an aesthetic chunder bucket !!!

However, I must admit, that after nearly two weeks spent checking out as many examples of scoots with the Papa Clutch bolt on kit attached, and other uglier than shit on a stick versions, I have to say I'm actually pretty much in love with it as an aesthetic exercise and I can't see me turning back . . . . I mean, I'm a bloke who forked out the cashola for a Forty Eight for fuck's sake, knowing full well the derision and scorn that would be forthcoming . . . . with many things in life I can be swayed by input from those whose opinions I value and respect, yes Lovey, that's you in this specific instance, but every now and again I just get this feeling that my way will be more conducive to what is my own 'vision splendid'.

To be perfectly frank, if there is one point on many traditionally fabricated rigids that has always been a bit of a bone of contention for me, it's that many of them just look too bloody long and often times, a bit like the varietal definition of average Cabernet Sauvignon, look like they have a hole in the guts . . . . sure, the Papa Clutch bolt on kit doesn't perfectly flow in a lineal sense from the backbone of the factory frame, but the angle at which it falls away from it is something that seriously gives me the horn and, more crucially, it seems to really tighten up the wheelbase . . . . anyhoo, I guess it's all down to personal preference, and the fact I really don't fancy fucking with the original frame, but without being 110% committed, I think I'm pretty close to making a decision that I'll be well and truly happy with . . . . that being said, and allowing for my overall chopper naiivite on the practical side, big ups and respect to Lovey especially, and his mate Barse at ABK blog, for caring enough to offer their experience and opinions . . . . it has not been taken lightly, lads . . . . [get it ???]

RONNIE RAYGUN "NAZI SMASHER" . . . . "THE THERMOTHROCKLE IS AMPHILATED THROUGH A DALIGONITER . . . . MADE POSSIBLE BECAUSE THE DERNADINE HAS A FRANOCOUPLING . . . . THE ANCIMETER PERMULATES THE CONUDUS BELHELPULUS . . . . THE DALIGONITER, WHICH IS AMPHILTED BY THE THERMOTHROCKLE AND IS MADE POSSIBLE BY ITS CONNECTION WITH THE FRANOCOUPLING OF THE DERNADINE"

I was watching this old black and white WWII era film last night, starring Errol Flynn and the man who would be President, Ronnie 'Raygun' Reagan, called "Desperate Journey", typical pro Allies propaganda stuff, however, having never sat through the entire thing before I stuck with it . . . . Ronnie has some fabulous and funny lines but the high point was in the scene above when he is bullshitting the German Officer about the method behind the superchargers fitted to the Allied bombers, funnier than shit on a stick . . . . I'm sure this put him in good stead for all those rambling political speeches he was to make as President . . . . God I love gobbledygook !!!!

THIS IS WHAT YOU WANT, THIS IS WHAT YOU'LL GET, THIS IS WHAT YOU WANT, THIS IS WHAT YOU'LL GET, THIS IS WHAT YOU WANT, THIS IS WHAT YOU'LL GET, THIS IS WHAT YOU WANT, THIS IS WHAT YOU'LL GET, THIS IS WHAT YOU WANT, THIS IS WHAT YOU'LL GET, THIS IS WHAT YOU WANT, THIS IS WHAT YOU'LL GET, THIS IS WHAT YOU WANT, THIS IS WHAT YOU'LL GET, THIS IS WHAT YOU WANT, THIS IS WHA

PUBLIC IMAGE LIMITED "THE ORDER OF DEATH" 1984

CLIP BY 'GENMEX' ON POOTUBE

"VIVA KNEIVEL" - 1967 TRIUMPH T120TT . . . . A SHOT THAT THE BLOKE BEHIND 'EAT THE RICH UK' PUBLISHED YESTERDAY KICKED THIS OFF . . . . THE HIGHLY DESIRABLE, HIGHLY SUCCESSFUL, HIGHLY STRUNG AND HIGHLY LEGENDARY ONE AND HALF YEAR MODEL ONLY '67 T120TT . . . . EVEL'S RIDE OF CHOICE FOR MANY YEARS AND HOURS OF HANG TIME . . . . SPLATT TIME ALSO . . . . HE WAS NEVER A GREAT 'LANDER'

Some of the best footage from one of the worst and silliest flicks ever produced, yes indeedly, 1977's mega flop, "Viva Kneivel", the only redeeming qualities in this ego driven celluloid shitfight were some pretty decent riding, and the bike propelling the almost King of Snake River Canyon around the various locations featured in this deplorable piece of uber drivel, his wild and wicked, '67 T120TT . . . .

The Bonneville T120TT, according to my now split and grubby copy of 'Bonnie', only ran as a specifically designated model for the last half of 1966 and all of 1967 before it was withdrawn from the lineup coming out of Meriden. Up until that point you ordered the 'TT' option kit and basically had it all assembled, mostly in the States for its role in AMA Flatrack events . . . . the '66.5 and the '67 models were actually available as a complete factory assembled bike, full race cams, high comp slugs, uprated oil flow, substantially lightened crank assembly, better pushrod seals and all the other serious kit that enabled the 650 twin to push out upwards of 50hp at the rear end in final tune . . . . I'm pretty certain that the Yanks were also upgrading them to 750cc to homologate them for the track, whatever, they were serious factory rockets, fragile in many ways but nonetheless ultra successful things in their own right, I'm sure that Edward Turner was justly proud of the ultimate extension of his longlived parallel twin . . . . these days, a rare bird indeed.

"1965 SHELBY GT350 R" [RMAUCTIONSINC] . . . . PINCHED THIS FROM 'LIFE TIME GEAR', SIMPLY COULDN'T RESIST . . . . TO ME, MUSTANGS ARE A BIT LIKE '57 CHEVS - LIKE ARSEHOLES, EVERBODY'S GOT ONE . . . . THEN THERE ARE THE 'HOT' ONES LIKE THIS IMPECCABLY CREDENTIALED GT350 R . . . . FROM BACK WHEN THEY WERE PURE, UNDILUTED, FACTORY KILLERS . . . . HELL YES, THE PONY CAR ON STEROIDS !!!

Straight off the showroom floor, well, special order book at least, the 289 Windsor small block spitting out 325 neddies, all the go very fucking fast goodies already on deck, ready to rock and roll, these were the duck's nuts of the Shelby stable, built to race and race hard, no restrictions, no government intervention and no huge dollar sign . . . . they were an absolute dynamite car for their day, they stood the racing world on its collective ear and would ultimately lead to the Trans Am series, a milestone release in every way and so far removed from any of the road going 'Stangs they were almost unrelated . . . . 

As mentioned in Life Time Gear, this immaculate and provenance proven example went for a staggering $990,000.00 U.S recently at the RM Auctions hoedown, kinda obscene in some ways, but at least its gonna be preserved . . . . I just hope the new owner lets the pony have its head on the track every now and again . . . . just like good ol' Shell would have wanted it . . . . its only a car, you can always rebuild the fucker !!!!

BOZ SKAGGS "LOWDOWN" . . . . 1976/77 AND BOZ WAS THE BUZZ, MADE A HELL OF AN ALTERNATIVE TO THE EAGLES, FLEETWOOD MAC AND E.L.O OVERKILL . . . . HAVING STARTED OUT WITH STEVE MILLER, THE BOZ CARVED A NICHE FOR HIMSELF WITH BLUES TINGED FUNK/SOUL LIKE FEW WHITE BOYS HAVE MANAGED . . . . I SAW HIM LIVE IN 1980, IT WAS A SUPERB GIG . . . . 'LOWDOWN' IN BRISBANE TOWN !!!!

AS MUCH AS I WAS INTO, AND COMPLETELY ABSORBED BY, THE WHOLE PUNK THING AT THE TIME, THIS SHIT STILL GOT ME, THE GROOVE, THE FEEL, THE TONE, THE WHOLE FUCKING CAPER . . . . AND IT HAS THE EXACT SAME EFFECT ON ME ALL THESE YEARS LATER, SLICK, WELL PRODUCED, RED HOT TUNES DELIVERED BY A GENUINE AND TALENTED SHOWMAN . . . . GOOD OLD FASHIONED QUALITY, AND THAT STUFF NEVER GOES OUT OF STYLE . . . . YOU CAN'T GET YOUR ROCKS OFF WITH A CHICK WHILE IN THE BACKGROUND THE MC5 ARE KICKIN OUT THE JAMS . . . . BUT YOU CAN LURVE ALL NIGHT LONG WITH THE LIKES OF BOZ GETTING JIGGY WITH IT ON THE STEREO . . . . THANKYOU AND GOODNIGHT !!

FROM THE 'OLDIES BUT OUTRAGEOUS GOODIES' CATEGORY . . . . PETE STANSFIELD'S [EAT THE RICH UK] LIME GREEN, LONG SPRINGER, T120 CHOP . . . . HE'S PARTED COMPANY WITH THIS DELIGHTFUL JIGGER RECENTLY AND WHOEVER HAS IT IN THEIR POSSESSION . . . . ENJOY IT YOU BASTARD, ONE OF THE CHILLEST TRUMPY'S GOING ROUND . . . . IMMACULATE STYLING AND PERFECT STANCE . . . . AND IT'S GREEN !!!!

Simple story to this one, the more I revisit this magic bit of Meriden powered chopper perfection, the more I reckon that green is going to be the colour of Project Shoveller, not only is the scoot first class, [its very well documented long term history and build details are available on Eat The Rich and in a back issue of GKM] but the colour is fucking wild, sorta lime jelly/gold/candy/flake . . . . I don't know what it is but I've gone from not being a huge fan of green bikes to being tits over arse in love with it, not just any green mind you, only bright, vivid, flakey, candy sexbomb shades need apply . . . . the more I spend time drooling lasciviously at some of the green tanked rides I really dig, the more I'm convinced that I'll be running with the colour that'll be the 'envy' of everyone in my neighbourhood and beyond . . . . ta muchly for the inspiration Mr Stansfield, and your 'offsider', nice ride, fuck-off colour choice !!!!

***** [Big ups to Guy @ 'GKultured' on PooTube for the micro-clip and pretty piccy]

"HERMIT - THE INTERPLANETARY RECLUSE" . . . . ANYONE FOLLOWING EVEN HALF THE BLOGS I'M INTO WILL HAVE READ HERMIT'S WITTY, PITHY AND DOWNRIGHT HILARIOUS COMMENTS . . . . A WHILE BACK I POSTED REGARDING MATT MACHINE'S GUZZI AND RECEIVED A GREAT RELATED YARN FROM THE 'INTERPLANETARY RECLUSE' . . . . NOW I CAN CUT AND PASTE, I'D DIG TO SHARE IT . . . . PLEASE, READ ON.

HERMIT, THANKS FOR BEING ONE OF THE DISCERNING PSYCHOTICS GUILD MATE, AND FOR YOUR INSIGHTFUL AND VALUED CONTRIBUTIONS TO MINE AND MANY OTHERS BLOGS . . . . CHEERS BUDDY, MUCH RESPECT.      [THE S3 PICTURED BELOW IS NOT MATT'S BIKE . . . . BUT IT IS COOL]

THE FOLLOWING TRANSCRIPT IS IN HERMIT'S WORDS VERBATIM . . . .

"My good friend Bruce is a Guzzi freak, he has several in his stable including one with a torque converter style no-shift trans.

I asked him how he got interested in Guzzis, and he said he owed it all to his uncle Wayne. He asked if I wanted to ride over to Wayne's place to see some old Guzzis. I said 'Hell yeah !!'

Uncle Wayne is in his eighties, but still a hardcore badass. He once refused to talk to Bruce for over a year because Bruce lost a hard-to-find spring on a Guzzi carb.

Bruce introduced me, and Wayne grunted something, then looked at my rigid Sportie with disdain.
'He hates Harleys' Bruce informed me.

Wayne had a garage full of Guzzi's in various states of repair, mostly with side hacks because his legs are bad and he can't ride on two wheels anymore.

After a while, Wayne warmed up a little, but it was obvious he would never fully trust a Harley rider, especially one stupid enough to pull an engine from a perfectly good swingarm frame and put it in a rigid.

Wayne finally got a smile on his face when we started talking about his beloved Indian motorcycles. The beer flowed and Wayne's stories about post-war cars and bikes were incredible. Drag racing in the street, hopped up motors, broken bones and brushes with the law. I wish I could have taped the conversation.

Wayne used to run around with Rollie Free, another Indian rider, when Free owned a shop in Indianapolis right after the war.

When Indian went under, Wayne couldn't bring himself to switch to Milwaukee iron so he started riding Guzzis, and still does to this day."

HOWLIN' WOLF - "SMOKESTACK LIGHTNING" [BRETTMARVINBLUES] . . . . SOME FOLK REQUIRE NO REAL INTRO AT ALL . . . . SUFFICE TO SAY THE ORIGINAL 'WOLFMAN' IS EMBLEMATIC OF A GENERATION OF BLUES PIONEERS WHO BARELY GOT THEIR DUE BEFORE THEY SHUFFLED OFF TO THE BIG GIG IN THE SKY . . . . WITHOUT HOWLIN' WOLF AND HIS CONTEMPORARIES, MODERN MUSIC WOULD BE NOTHIN AT ALL !!!

MY PERSONAL GUIDING LIGHT FOR ALL THINGS BLUES, THE COMPLETE MASTER OF HIS CHOSEN MEDIUM, STILL AS FRESH AND TIMELESS TODAY AS IT WAS SEVENTY FIVE YEARS AGO, A VITAL AND UNDENIABLE CONDUIT FOR ALL WHO CAME AFTER . . . . ALWAYS SEEMED PRETTY FUCKED UP TO ME THAT MEN LIKE HOWLIN' WOLF GOT NO RESPECT OR ACKNOWLEDGEMENT FROM THE BROADER, WHITE DOMINATED MUSIC COMMUNITY IN THEIR OWN COUNTRY UNTIL IT WAS PRETTY WELL TOO FUCKING LATE . . . . IN FACT, IT WAS THE LIKES OF THE STONES AND THE FAB FOUR WHO FINALLY SHONE THE LONG OVERDUE SPOTLIGHT ON THIS APPALLING STATE OF AFFAIRS IN THE SIXTIES . . . . RACISM SUCKS BALLS, THEN, NOW AND FOREVER . . . . HOWL ON MAN !!! RIP.

DOWN HERE IN THE ANTIPODES MOST OF US ARE ROLLIN ON THE OCC TYPE SICKLE PICTURED AT TOP . . . . ALL THE LUXURIES OF HOME AND MORE, LOVELY COLOUR CHOICE AND . . . . NO, FUCK IT, I CAN'T GO ON, EVEN IN SARCASM . . . . ONE FUGLY PIECE OF SHIT . . . . THE RED SHOVEL ON THE OTHER HAND WAS THE LONGTERM PRIDE AND JOY OF MY GOOD MATE GEOFF . . . . CLEAN, HONEST AND LEGIT.

THE ABOVE MONSTROSITY IS APPARENTLY AN AMALGAM OF WHAT THE TRAVELLING IDIOT SHOW THAT

IS OCC THOUGHT A AUSTRALIAN THEMED RIDE SHOULD BE ALL ABOUT . . . . AN EXCEPTIONAL EYESORE EVEN BY THEIR WOEFUL STANDARDS OF NON-DESIGN . . . . EVERYBODY CARRIES A SURFBOARD LASHED TO

THEIR PRIMARY IN OZ, DIDN'T YOU KNOW ???

THE ABOVE, CLASSICALLY RAKED, SIMPLY APPOINTED, BIG INCH SHOVEL WAS A PROJECT OF MUCH PASSION AND COMMITMENT BY A VERY DEAR FRIEND OF MINE GOING BACK INTO THE NINETIES . . . . PUT TOGETHER BY GEOFF AND THE EVER TALENTED ROSCOE OVER SOME TIME . . . . SCOOPED 1st PRIZE AT THIS SHOW ON THE GOLDY WHEN IT WAS SNAPPED BY THE FELLA FROM 'CHOPPERS AUSTRALIA' BACK IN '05 . . . . AS STATED IN THE INTRO, CLEAN, HONEST AND THOROUGHLY FUCKING LEGIT.

JAMES BROWN "DR FEELGOOD" . . . . THE MOST UNRELENTING, HEAVY HITTIN, BADDEST, SHARPEST, ON THE EDGE, MOTHERFUNKER TRACK OF ALL TIME . . . . SO FAST, SO FURIOUS, SO FUCKING IN THE POCKET . . . . FROM THE MAN WHO INVENTED THE GENRE . . . . THE HARDEST WORKING MAN IN SHOWBIZ . . . . THE GODFATHER OF ALL THINGS FUNKY, BRINGIN THE O.G SHIT FULL-ON . . . . NOW, STEP BACK !!!!

THE ONE AND ONLY JAMES BROWN WITH A SEARINGLY FRANTIC, FUCK-OFF FUNK GEM THAT HAS NEVER BEEN EXCEEDED, NO TIME FOR A BREATH OR QUICK MID SONG RELAX, ONE SPEED ONLY, FLAT OUT . . . . LISTEN TO THE HORN STABS, THE RHYTHM SECTION, THE HYPERDRIVE GUITARS, BROWN'S VOCALS IN CLASSIC 'BROWNSPEAK', IT IS MY MOST LOVED UPTOWN TRACK OF ALL TIME . . . . THE REAL DEAL, EPICALLY DANGEROUS SHIT.

I NEVER REALISED HOW DIFFICULT IT MIGHT BE TO PLAY OR SING THIS HEAVYWEIGHT TUNE UNTIL I WAS IN AN ELEVEN PIECE SOUL/FUNK/R+B OUTFIT IN THE EARLY 90's, IT TOOK ME A WEEK TO DECIPHER ALL WHAT BROTHER JAMES WAS SINGING THEN TWO WEEKS REHEARSAL WITH THE BAND TO NAIL IT, TIMING AND PHRASING WAS A TOTAL MOTHERFUCKER . . . . WITHOUT BRAGGING TOO MUCH, IT WAS WORTH EVERY SECOND OF TRIAL AND TRIBULATION, WE NAILED IT, IF I DO SAY SO MYSELF, DOIN IT LIVE ON STAGE WAS SUCH A RUSH, BUT NOWHERE NEAR THE BLAST I STILL GET FROM GETTING DOWN TO THE GENUINE ARTICLE . . . . TAKE IT MISTER BROWN, TURN ME LOOSE . . . . GIVE IT UP . . . . ONE TIME . . . . GIVE IT UP, TWO TIME !!!

GEORGE MICHAEL "OUTSIDE" . . . . SHIT, HERE HE GOES AGAIN POSTING 'HOMO TUNES' . . . . I KNOW IT'S GONNA BE A DEFINITE REACTION FROM SOME CREW . . . . I COULDN'T GIVE A RAT'S . . . . FOR A GAY, GREEK BOY FROM LONDON, GEORGIE SURE GETS THE FUNK-SOUL-BROTHER THANG GOIN ON . . . . STICKIN IT IN THE FACES OF THE P.D AND THE ULTRA RIGHT SQUARES . . . . HOW MANY OF YOU WOULD ??

I'm sure everyone can remember when the ex Wham star got knicked doing things rude, crude and lewd in some public dunny in L.A, made an example of in a city that is pretty much renowned for being moderately bereft of morals and social mores . . . . yeah, thought so, some cops who dress remarkably similar to the SS are always likely to have problems with anything related to gays, goodtimes, bikers, non whites, skaters, punks and other potential variations to their myopic norm . . . . a bit like the pot calling the kettle bent . . . . but I digress.

The clip that accompanied this downright wicked piece of funky/soul by the Gay Blade, Mr Michael, was a total pisstake on those who had been casting the boulder sized stones, he stuck it right up their insecure, overly delicate nostrils, fuck you and the square horse you rode in on . . . . it was and is, not unlike the Pet Shop Boys 'West End Girls', an exceptional bit of contemporary song craft, a groove from hell, hooks that don't pull out and lyrical content way more brave and directed than Hank Rollins et al could generally concieve of . . . . all of that shit aside, it's simply a really fucking cool tune, like many others released by him since he discovered there's more to his quiver than piss ordinary pop by the mid nineties . . . . life's pretty straight without twisted.

AHOY THERE LOVEYMUCKER, CHECK THIS OUT . . . . DISREGARD THE FACT IT MIGHTN'T BE TO YOUR PERSONAL TASTE . . . . BUT AS AN OVERALL FRAME LINE CONCEPT FOR A RIGID . . . . I SAW IT AGES AGO IN SEVERAL PLACES AND STILL RECKON IT'S PERTY COOL . . . . COMPACT, TIGHT AND NO UGLY ANGLES AND IT'S A SHOVEL AS WELL . . . . GET BACK TO ME BROTHERMAN, JUST BRAINSTORMING . . . .

ANOTHER COOL THING THAT I'LL NEVER OWN, IN 'SUBLIME', 'GREEN GO' OR ANY OTHER COLOUR CODE FOR THAT MATTER . . . . RAT FINK WAS SUGGESTING IT COULD USE SOME BIGGER RUBBER ON THE ARSE END . . . . I'M OF THE OPINION THAT MR FINK NEEDS HIS EYES CHECKED . . . . HOWEVER, HE DID LIKE THE BIG DODGE'S COLOUR . . . . MUTTERED SOMETHING ABOUT 'GORDON GEKKO . . . . GREEN IS GOOD'

"SWISS FAMILY THUMPER", THE BIG 4 STROKE THAT SAW THE REBIRTH OF THE SUPER SINGLE . . . . THE YAMMY XT, TT AND SR 500's REALLY PROVED JUST HOW TOUGH A FOUR STROKE THUMPER COULD BE . . . . SURE, HONDA HAD HAD A CRACK BUT THESE THINGS WERE THE DUCK'S NUTS AND THE PUBLIC GRABBED EM BY THE BALLS . . . . TOTALLY DESERVING OF THEIR LEGEND STATUS . . . . WHEELIES, FUCK YEAH !!!!

A TRIO OF COOLER, TOUGHER, MORE INFLUENTIAL BIKES YOU COULDN'T ASK FOR, IN 1976 WHEN THE 'C' MODEL XT AND TT 500 CAME ONTO THE SCENE, NOBODY TOOK BIG SINGLE POT FOUR STROKERS SERIOUSLY, UNLESS YOU OWNED A MANX, AJS, BEEZER AND THE LIKE . . . . THEY WERE CONSIGNED TO THE DINOSAUR BIN OF MOTORSICKLE HISTORY, NO-ONE COULD'VE FORSEEN HOW INFLUENTIAL THESE TWO RELEASES FROM THE HOUSE OF THE CROSSED TUNING FORKS WOULD BE . . . . BY THE TIME THE 'SR' ROAD GOING VERSION WITH BIGGER HEAD AND VALVES AND OTHER MODS WAS BROUGHT OUT, THE MOULD WAS CAST AND THE RESURGENCE OF THE 4 STROKE CHOOK CHASER WAS WELL UNDER WAY.

The mere fact these critters are now super sought after 30 plus years later is testament to just how fucking good they were, until they changed the motor format in the early eighties, you couldn't kill the bastards, the only thing that invariably failed were the mufflers when they rotted out with metal worm, but as long as you changed the oil and filter, did your valves, tensioned the cam chain and kept air in the tyres, Bob was your mother's brother . . . . the use of the SR donk in a TT frame with modest head work, biggish, [well, huge] cam, open megaphone, 38mm [?] Mikuni, steering damper, Suzi quad leader front brake, good shocks and slicks was enough to get John Stamnas the lap record for a single 500 at Lakeside back in 1993 or thereabouts, even the KTM's and Husky Super-Retards couldn't get past the old Classic Bike Tune #7, at one point all of us in the shop had a hybrid thumper on the road, it was Yamathumper madness. 

Seriously, without the advent of these killer, one lung, four stroke stump pullers, two strokes would still be the only class in motocross and Poms would be hogging all the glory and fame in the world of big singles, at least now they have to share the spotlight with the ball tearing Yamaha trio of the XT, TT and SR 500.

PROJECT SHOVELLER HAS GOT ME SALIVATING IN ANTICI . . . . PATION !!!! TRAWLING AROUND BEING INSPIRED BY RIDES THAT I HAVE ALWAYS BEEN MOVED BY . . . . I'LL NEVER BE LUCKY ENOUGH TO OWN A KNUCKLE AND THE SHOVEL AIN'T GONNA BE IN THIS STYLE . . . . THAT DOESN'T MEAN DIDDLY, THIS SCOOT IS A DEFINITE INCLUSION IN MY TOP TEN OF THE LAST DECADE . . . . 110% RIGHT.

Of all the bikes Max Schaaf has knocked up this is still my personal pick, especially with this inlet cover as opposed to the other version often seen fitted, the pipes had me from hello, the 4Q logo on the tank is the boobies, ratio of rear to front wheel/tyre set-up, combo of chrome and paint breaking up the springer, the 'bars, the lamp and other subtle brass accents, oil tank . . . . then there's the sensually brutal aesthetic appeal of the knuckle sitting in the middle of the whole shebang, what's not to drool over ?? Super honest, made to wail tail, proto-cool bike building at its best . . . . fuck skating, lets ride !!!!

***** Thanks to whoever it was who took the pic, I pinched this one from El Corra Motors blog, cheers.

"BILTWELL" AWESOMENESS . . . . I DON'T DIG SHINY THINGS OTHER THAN RIMS AND PIPES . . . . BUT THESE BEAUTIES ARE FANTASTIC KIT, I REALISE WHY SO MANY CREW USE THEM, NO FUSS . . . . THEY'VE BEEN HIT WITH THE STEELO PAD TO LOSE THE 'SHINY SHINY' . . . . I WILL PROBABLY GIVE THEM A RUB WITH SOME 1200 WET AND DRY . . . . RELIEVE SOME MEAT FROM THE BRACKET, THEN . . . . JOB'S DONE !!!!

RETURN OF THE "PURPLE PENIS" . . . . LOOKING A BIT LIKE A TRANS-GENDER GIMP BUT NOW HANDLING BETTER THAN NEW . . . . NO MORE POXY, FLAKEY, RUSTY, SHITTY CHROME SPOKES . . . . KISSED GOODBYE TO THE STOCK BLACK RIMS . . . . NEW REAR BAG MINUS WHITEWALL . . . . 'BRUSHED' THE 'BILTWELL' STAINLESS PEGS, NEED TO MAKE A SMALL MOD TO FIT THEM . . . . THEN IT'S DONE !!!

NO BLOODY WONDER THE SPORTSTER-PHALLUS WAS HANDLING LIKE THE PROVERIAL BAG OF SHIT, FLOGGED RUBBER ISOLATING BUSHES, FLOGGED SLEEVE, BADLY WORN SPHERICAL BEARINGS . . . . STRANGELY, ONE OF THE BOLTS HOLDING THE SLEEVE IN PLACE HAD SHEARED OFF AT THE HEAD, THE SECOND WAS ONLY FINGER TIGHT, GOT TO WONDER IF THIS MAY HAVE BEEN A FACTORY FUCK-UP . . . . ANYWAY, ALL IS BETTER THAN GOOD NOW, NO EXAGGERATED BEEMER LIKE WEAVING INTO SWEEPING CURVES, NO FREE PLAY, TIGHT AS A FISH'S PRIVATE BITS . . . . IT'S PRETTY MUCH HOW I ENVISIONED IT BEING TWO AND HALF YEARS AGO, BIG LOVE TO ROSCOE FOR DOING THE BUSINESS IN HIS USUAL, HALF-ARSED, UNCARING WAY . . . . THANKS BRO, AWESOME JOB !!!!

THE CLASH "TRAIN IN VAIN" LIVE . . . . NOT ONLY MY FAVOURITE BAND BUT MY FAVE TUNE ABOUT LOVE AND LOSS . . . . YEAH, THE SOUNDS PRETTY ROUGH, THE LIGHTING FOR THE FOOTAGE SUCKS ARSE, BUT . . . . ITS SO FUCKING REAL, SO INCREDIBLY HONEST AND RAW . . . . GREAT ROCK+ROLL WAS NEVER ABOUT PERFECTION . . . . IT'S ABOUT HEART AND CONVICTION . . . . THE CLASH AT THEIR VERY BEST !!!

On the release of the multi-faceted and enduring 'London Calling' double album the boys from the Westway took to the roads of the USA to preach the 'Gospel According to Them' to the people, that legendary tour was called 'The Clash Take the Fifth', so named because they had good friend and keyboards player, Mickey Gallagher in tow, adding depth and feel side of stage, the band was so psyched for this tour, playing many gigs that became went onto to become musical myth . . . . I reckon this clip from New Joisey could be from that tour, Micks voice is pretty thrashed, Joe is on fire and Paul and Topper are just doing what great rhythm sections do, driving the beast from the crankcase up, I cant see Mickey anywhere but as I said, the lights and the lo-fi nature of the clip ain't shedding no light . . . . the song is all about politics of the human heart, the universality of the condition called life, pained and plaintive its always been a go-to tune for me, in moments of post relationship/marriage blues I've found it both restorative and uplifting . . . . from a double album that remains my ultimate 'Desert Island' must have, [well, a toss up with Miles Davis' 'Almost Blue'] this song from this time will always be something really special . . . . try and see through the grainy footage, listen beyond the sketchy sound and put yourself there and then . . . . fucking landmark, legendary stuff !!!

SPEAKING OF THE AWESOME STEVENAGE V-TWIN . . . . MY MOST ADMIRED VINCENT, AND IT'S A CUSTOM . . . . NOT JUST ANY SLIGHTLY TWEAKED, MODERN RUBBER SHOD, CLASSIC NERD JIGGER . . . . JEFF DECKER, ARTIST, MOTORCYCLE NUTTER AND ALL ROUND BRILLIANT TALENT IS THE OWNER/BUILDER . . . . DEFINITELY INSPIRED BY FREE, DICKERSON AND THE GOLDEN AGE OF SPEED . . . . OUTSTANDING WORK !!!

When Jeff Decker raised the curtain on this gorgeous Vinnie a few years ago it was met with predictable results from the arch purists and one eyed knuckle shufflers . . . . how dare someone defile not only a Vincent but a fucking Black Lightning to boot !!! You can't do that to a bike of that historical value !!! No, just watch me was Decker's response by way of executing the masterful piece of customising you see here . . . . the ghosts of Davies, Vincent and Irving would be chuffed to bits with this interpretation.

I remember reading about this thing on someone's blog or somewhere back then and was stoked to find out that Decker had access to a truckload of genuine parts that were used by, or designated for use by, both Rollie Free and Marty Dickerson . . . . how special does that shit make this superbly hand built and crafted custom ??? Plenty is probably the word you're searching for right now . . . . every thing done to this Lightning ads to the original design, both aesthetically and in performance terms, not a thing out of place and its all respectful of the ideals of the men who made the marque.

HISTORY YOU JUST GOT'S TO KNOW . . . . OR 'HOW THE WEST WAS WON' . . . . I DID A BLURB A WHILE BACK ON MARTY DICKERSON'S FAMOUS 'BLUE BIKE', ONE OF THE COOLEST RIDES EVER TO TURN A WHEEL . . . . I STUMBLED ONTO A GREAT LITTLE CLIP ON POOTUBE THAT GIVES A DECENT INSIGHT INTO THIS HALL OF FAME LEGEND'S ACTION PACKED LIFE . . . . FEELIN' THE NEED FOR SPEED, CLASSIC STYLE.

IF YOU'RE LIKE ME AND HAVE A FASCINATION AND PASSION FOR THE GLORY DAYS OF PIONEERING SALT FLAT RACING, YOU OWE IT TO YOURSELF TO BECOME FAMILIAR WITH THE EXPLOITS OF MARTY DICKERSON . . . . AND HIS EXTRAORDINARY, FAITHFUL AND FUCKING RAPID RAPIDE, THE LEGEND THAT IS "THE BLUE BIKE", NO POINT IN ME DRIBBLING ON HERE, HAVE A SQUIZ AT THE VIDEO BY 'FILMFISCHER' THEN GO AND DO SOME RESEARCH ON A BLOKE WHOSE CONTRIBUTION TO MODERN TWO WHEELED FOLKLORE IS SECOND TO NONE . . . . MARTY DICKERSON AND HIS BLUE BIKE . . . . TIMELESS COOL.

"1948 FL PANHEAD BOBBER JOBBER" [BY 'DOGCHOP' ON POOTUBE] . . . . IF YOU WANTED A BLUEPRINT FOR PUTTING TOGETHER A BOB JOB YOU COULDN'T GO PAST THIS . . . . FROM THE SECRET SOCIETY OF WIDOWS AND WELSHMEN . . . . A CHAP WHO MANY OF YOU LIKELY KNOW . . . . A BUILDER OF SUPER TASTY, FIRST CLASS SCOOTS . . . . A TOTAL GRASP ON THE ESSENCE OF PERIOD PERFECTION !!!

The sexy bloke seen kicking the old pan into life is its creator, a member of notorious bad boys, The Black Widows, one of the popular Low Level Hell bloggers, and from what I've seen on the interblog and PooTube over several years, arch eventer-come-party boy and connoisseur of mouldy old Harleys and their modification into retro style perfection . . . . the '48 panhead in this clip is one of my faves from his portfolio of the many bikes he's posted, the term 'period correct' gets a hard time from some quarters but for me it's just different strokes for other blokes, and if this beautiful black beast ain't period perfect, I'll eat poo for a month . . . . it's tough but easy on the eye, everything about it is absolutely spot on . . . . undoubtedly the fella in question will be Tripping Out this weekend on one of his steeds, if I was there I'd definitely be checking it out, whatever it is . . . . W.W.N.W.W . . . . ????

KIM BOYLE AT BCM . . . . A ZEN MASTER OF THE 'LESS IS MORE' APPROACH TO THE DESIGN ETHIC . . . . IT BLOWS ME AWAY HOW SOMETHING AS COLD AND LIFELESS AS METAL CAN APPEAR TO BE 'ORGANIC' IN ITS FORM . . . . THERE IS A DEFINITE AND TANGIBLY TACTILE NATURE TO THIS GUY'S WORK . . . . CHECK OUT HIS BLOG FOR VERIFICATION . . . . BAUHAUS AND BIKES IN PERFECT COEXISTENCE.

Another disciple of the 'fuck the frills' school of engineering design, if it serves no purpose, piss it off, excess is dead weight, form dictated entirely by function, keep it simple is the mantra that this dude seems to follow . . . . of all the blokes building bikes and producing parts, it's my opinion that nobody is at the same level of refined minimalism while still retaining eye popping beauty as the fella from Boyle Custom Moto . . . . as his profile becomes way more visible his work attains a sophisticated elegance borne of vanquishing the Devil in the detail.

I'm a simple bloke and I like simple things, when seeking out airfilters for the shovel, that was my overriding and all consuming concern, it had to be clean, simple and able to integrate fully with the overall 'theme' of the thing, so many cool rides are shot in the foot by the selection of a filter that stands out like dog's balls because it is at odds with the overall feel and look of the bike it's sitting on . . . . I wanted nude, unpolished alloy, no lines, contours, milled channels, branding . . . . just a part that would do the job it's made to do, not scream 'look at me'.

When this wee jigger arrived in its box and wrapped in Kim's signature shop rag, I literally couldn't put the thing down, not only did it look the boobies but the way it felt in my hands was so damned enjoyable, tactile, wanting to be caressed, fondled and gazed at up close, simplicty made manifest . . . . the attention to finish on every surface, seen and unseen is unbelievable, inside where all the physics of vortices and velocity do their thing to force air into the old Super E is as immaculately machined as the outer body is clearly hand finished, less is so much more.